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Due Dec 08 - Braxton hicks, baby kicks and leaking nips!

1000 replies

Veggiemummy · 25/09/2008 17:59

that was Disenchanted's idea for a great title not mine

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
reban · 03/10/2008 15:00

Hi all ... thanks for all your messages of support .. still feelin a bit low so have not been too chatty, but nice words appreciated xx

arti (i think sorry should make notes of names) congratulations on your promotion but i am sorry the hours are so long. I kind of know how you feel because i was very randonly offered a job the other day which i have provisional accepted. I originally applied in June when it became very apparent that my self emp venture was not going to work out .. it took til aug to get to interview stage (when i told them about my preg) and this week for them to offer me the job. They are looking to get me started within the next few weeks to get most of my training done before i start maternity leave .. so i will be comuting by train into birmingham city centre up to 39 weeks .
Its not the most sensible idea but financial we have no choice anyway the manager sounds really nice and they seem very understanding .. it will just be chaos trying to organise everything before baby comes.
So sorry to hear so many are still feeling under the weather hugs to everyone xx

waitinggirl · 03/10/2008 15:33

reban and arti - i'm in a similarish position - everyone else is writing about starting maternity leave, and i am about to start a job next week which will continue until i'm 38/9 weeks. i've retrained as a voice coach and have managed to get some (not full-time, admittedly) work for the Autumn term in drama schools. so while everyone else seems to be winding down, i'm frantically cranking up, planning schemes of work, lessons etc and am terrified of being a new teacher. oy vey...

vg - yes, i, too have no idea what to wear any of the time

emmanbump · 03/10/2008 16:19

Wow to all of those staring new jobs. I feel so feeble in comparison!!!

Bit hugs to everyone with the dreaded lurgy, hope you all feel better soon.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend. I'm going to chill as much as possible this weekend, hope you all do the same.

Verso · 03/10/2008 17:20

just hv to vent. On train so apols for abbrevs. Just got refused seat! Woman had handbag on seat. I asked if cd sit. No. Someone sitting there. So i said not there at mo. She said husb coming back. So i asked her if he was 7 mths pg. She said no need to be like that.

Thing is, i wdnt hv minded if her husb was disabled or something like mine - but no. She was just being bloody minded.

Stood at end of carriage. Got to clapham jnct and phoned dh to tell him. Tears.

Can't believe it!

Verso · 03/10/2008 17:20

just hv to vent. On train so apols for abbrevs. Just got refused seat! Woman had handbag on seat. I asked if cd sit. No. Someone sitting there. So i said not there at mo. She said husb coming back. So i asked her if he was 7 mths pg. She said no need to be like that.

Thing is, i wdnt hv minded if her husb was disabled or something like mine - but no. She was just being bloody minded.

Stood at end of carriage. Got to clapham jnct and phoned dh to tell him. Tears.

Can't believe it!

pixsix · 03/10/2008 17:44

Verso you poor thing! That woman sounds like a right old trout . I hope she has a rubbish weekend and you have a wonderful one.

waitinggirl · 03/10/2008 17:48

veroso - am incandescent with rage on your behalf - don't know how much one is allowed to swear on MN, but i am a bit of a fishwife and suffice it to say am turning the air blue at home on your behalf.

if there's any consolation: she and husband must have miserable lives to be so narrow-minded, petty, and inconsiderate.

breathe, breathe, breathe - and give them the evil eye if you EVER see them again.

wish i could punch them on your behalf.

rosmerta · 03/10/2008 18:02

verso, you poor thing , just can't believe some bloody people!

jumpjockey · 03/10/2008 18:11

verso what a nsaty thing to have to deal with. I'm surprised nobody else has offered their seat tbh.

OK - on a complete tangent - what are everyone's plans re Christmas? Baby is due on Dec 10th but as we keep being told, first ones are alwys late... We've definitely said no family coming to stay, but the difficulty is that DH's family are in Scotland so will want to book up flights and B&B for their first baby visit soon - I want to say let's have a nice babymoon and not have visitors for the first week at least so we can get used to each other. But the difficulty then is do we ask them to leave it til after the new year in case Junior waits until 2 weeks + overdue? If he/she comes early, I can quite see that people might want to come and visit sooner.

(my dad is an hour's drive away so much easier to call at short notice or put off!)

Any sage advice...?!

jumpjockey · 03/10/2008 18:12

Sorry, should clarify, DH family in Scotland, us in Cambridge - doesn't make any sense unless you know that part!

rosmerta · 03/10/2008 18:16

jump tricky one! Do you think they'd be willing to wait until you say come & visit this weekend then book last minute? Or would they want to book in advance?

Personally, I'd rather have them book last minute but if they don't want to do that, then ask them to wait until after new year.

jumpjockey · 03/10/2008 18:25

rosmerta they're both in their early 70s, don't travel very well and not very keen on the idea of leaving to the last minute - and I guess it's fair enough as whenever we've booked flights to get up to see them, they get expensive very quickly. Might be time for some major diplomacy by DH... It's the first grandchild so of course they'll want to see him/her as soon as possible, but given that there's a month-long window (at least!) in which s/he could arrive, we can't really predict!

reban · 03/10/2008 18:26

jumpjockey when i was expecting my first my DP at the time was Irish and all his family lived in Ireland. I went 5 days over and when i finally went into labour (on whitson bank holiday morning) he phoned his mom straight away and she got a plane the very next morning, and this was 8 1/2 years ago .. so what i am trying to say is although scotland is quite a journey i would wait until LO arrives as it is impossible to calculate exactly when they will come (unless C/S) and even though it is christmas i would have thought there will still be quite a lot of availability .. plus if it is close to christmas they may decide its better for them to wait till after. Its all so unpredictable! I know we cant decide what to do about xmas as i am due on 20/12

abbymeg · 03/10/2008 18:29

Chutney we are same heights as you and your DH. With DD I really struggled to feed her, and the dr made me give her formula at the end of the first week as she'd lost an unsafe amount of weight. I'm really hoping that it goes better this time.

Saying that, I got called in for scan today and he's big, but still within the normal range. Hopefully, that's the way it will stay. He kept sticking his tongue out as he was practising his breathing. And he is certainly a boy - all boy bits present and correct . It just seems like AGES until I have him. 10 weeks and 2 days to go...

reban · 03/10/2008 18:30

sorry take so long to type i cross-posted ... i guess the only sensible thing to do would be for them to book when you know baby will def be here (14 days overdue) .. although that will take you into xmas period

sorry ment to say verso so angry on your behalf think you should have sat on her or her bag!

jumpjockey · 03/10/2008 18:34

I guess the sensible thing is to persuade them to wait until short notice to get flights, and hope that the whole city's not booked up.

Aha! Sudden stroke of genius! They could stay with my dad! That way it wouldn't matter if there's no room at the inn* AND there can't be any arguments about which grandparent got to see the baby first.

*did you see what I did there?!

abbymeg · 03/10/2008 18:36

P.s. People who put bags on seats on trains and buses when they are busy really nark me off. We should be asking if their bag has bought a ticket for the seat that it is occupying. Plus, the idea of seat saving isn't written anywhere - we allow it because we're nice and polite. I'm rapidly learning that nice and polite don't seem to count for much anymore. Sad, but true. LOL asking if her DH was 7 months pg though Verso!

Veggiemummy · 03/10/2008 18:39

maybe you should just tell them your dilemma and that you would be much more comfortable with the idea of the booking for the 2nd week in jan, Tell then you really want that first week to yourselves with the baby (it is so nice if you can) if they are not happy with that then tell them by all means to book for EDD but expect that it could be late and that if on time you will only want short burst with them around. I have said this before but sometimes in the case of family who coe from a distance to see the new baby they feel as they only have a short time that they want to hold the baby all the time and it can really interfere with bonding, i had a friend in a real state as her mum had come over from Australia was a bt old school and just took the baby away from her all the time, after 2 weeks she felt like she barely knew her baby.

Verso what did that women mean by 'no need to be like that'??? clearly due to people like her there is a need. I used to do buddhist meditation and you should visualise someone you don't like and send them love, well i am going to try to visualise your evil lady and send her nasty grumpies (no idea what she looks like but i'm sure karma will find her) she is def a nasty poo poo lady.oh and i will visualise her Husband becoming impotent.

OP posts:
reban · 03/10/2008 18:42

LOL veggie her husband probably is .. thats why she is so mean to pregnant woman

poisondwarf · 03/10/2008 19:32

reban hope you're managing to take it easy.

Bisou blimey, that was a helluva post! Welcome back.

Verso that's outrageous! I suppose you have to expect the odd knobhead from time to time but as jumpjockey said, I'm amazed none of the other passengers offered their seats, even if just to show the old bag up.

jumpjockey I appreciate what a pain it is going to be arranging things with the in-laws but I'd say that this is one of those situations where you just have to put yourself, your baby and your sanity first even at the expense of inconvenience for them. When DS was born I spent far too much time and energy taking other people's feelings into consideration and tbh it made those first few weeks even more stressful than they already were. Believe me things are going to be different this time around!

Sympathies to all those having work hassles/new jobs etc. I am definitely in wind-down mode myself - my boss told me to slow down on the amount of new work I was taking on the other day & I almost laughed in her face, bless her. Does she not realise I've spent the last 6 weeks (okay, months) staring into space & surfing the internet? God, the thought of having to crank it up a notch, let alone start a new job at this stage - well, I would be in pieces.

Nappies - we used both types for a while but to my shame now only use disposables (due to DP's laziness more than anything - I don't do nappies). We live in a tiny flat but it really wasn't a problem to wash & dry them (we just bought the biggest clothes maiden we could find). The all-in-one nappies could sometimes take a couple of days to dry though so I wouldn't recommend them if you're short on space (they never seemed to work for DS anyway). For us I thought they were great at home during the day but less great for days out and overnight. Will be getting them back out for the new baby - that's when they come into their own cost-wise. Also although they're expensive to buy they have a surprisingly good resale value so if it doesn't work out you shouldn't lose out too much. I could bring a few along to the next meet-up if anyone's interested (if they're accessible - not sure where DP's hidden them). I would say though that if you are considering using them you might want to at least do a little bit of research before the baby comes along - the choice is overwhelming and speaking personally, if I'd left it all until after the birth I don't think I'd have ended up bothering at all.

Some of you might remember me whingeing on about the hospital not having my old notes to hand and being awkward about retrieving them and letting me access them. In the end I had to make an appointment to see the consultant to go through them with me. Anyway my appointment was yesterday - it was also my 30 week check and I must say it was about the most rubbish appointment I've had so far in either pregnancy. The doctor (don't think she was a consultant but could be wrong as she didn't introduce herself) took my blood pressure but not a word about whether it was high/low/normal. Listened to the heartbeat - fine. That was it. Had to ask what position the baby was in, had to ask whether my blood results were back (they were) and could she please check they were okay (they were), had to ask if my iron levels were low (they were). She volunteered no information whatsoever. She didn't measure the bump but wrote down 32cm anyway - I asked her how come and she said it was an estimate. Hmm.

I don't think it is too much to ask for midwives/doctors etc to talk you through what they are doing as they are doing it, as they generally do (IME anyway - maybe I've just been spoilt) - it doesn't take any more time after all and makes you feel more of a stakeholder in your own health rather than an object to be poked and prodded in silence. Well, as you can imagine the "going through my notes" bit consisted of her skimming through a couple of pages and saying yes, everything was fine last time and nothing for me to worry about. Tried to ask a couple of questions but difficult to know what to ask when they won't let you actually see what's written there.

Anyway, she sent me back to reception with both sets of notes to make my appointment in 4 weeks' time (but managed to write 2 weeks on my file - maybe she was hung over? - so my next midwife appt is in 2 weeks for no reason that I can see). I sneaked off to the waiting area to have a peek at my old notes then suddenly thought sod it, I'm just going to take them home, read them and photocopy them and bring them in next time and plead pregnancy brain - the alternative is filling in a form and waiting several weeks to have a copy made for the bargain sum of £50. I mean, it's hardly as if anyone at the hospital is going to miss them - I've had to practically beg them to retrieve them. So I am now an outlaw.

Sorry for going on - I know I'm very lucky to be having an uncomplicated pregnancy (so far) unlike some of us, and I'm fairly confident that if there were any real concerns they would be taken seriously. It does wind me up though - just consider it a hormonal outburst. Maybe I need to get down to antenatal yoga and throw a few ohmmms - or perhaps I should have taken a leaf out of Beans' book and flicked the v's behind the doctor's back.

Kimberly1979 · 03/10/2008 19:58

Turnip Sorry I haven't been on in a few days.
Yes we are at St. John's and Elizabeth's too! Would be totally cool if we were there at the same time! We decided to go consultant led. Since we came from the US I felt more comfortable dealing with the same doctor the whole time. Especially since this is our first child. I wasn't sure how my body would deal with the pregnancy. But so far so good!

Hope everyone starts to feel better soon!

kmp1 · 03/10/2008 20:08

Abbey and Chutney same heights here too! 5'9 & 6'3 and also big baby (75th centile) Verso what a B! I would have lost it, and come completely unstuck!

Olipop · 03/10/2008 20:12

Evening girls! Verso I can't believe that stupid woman....ooooh it makes me so mad!

PoisonDwarf, I think that you were perfectly sensible to nick your notes. I mean, if the stupid woman couldn't even be bothered to get a tapemeasure out I wouldn't have any qualms about not quite following procedure yourself. What is with these people?

My SIL has just self diagnosed her poor little mite with tongue tie as the midwife had never looked in her mouth despite horrendous problems with breastfeeding. She then didn't bother referring them to have the operation as she felt it wasn't worth it as going private would be quicker. My SIL is on quite a tight budget so private operations are not really what they need right now although they of course went ahead and did it and now she is feeding well. It makes me so cross when people can't be arsed to do their jobs...

Rant over....let the happy vibes flow!

Veggiemummy · 03/10/2008 20:14

Poison well done, that is such a good idea. don't worry if they do notice them missing they will send a few emails around looking for them and when you dump them back they will go oh there they are (on whichever desk you leave them on) and then send them back to records. they are unlikely to notice as they are old notes, unless the people in records are hot on what they book out. and even then they will not suspect you.

OP posts:
daisydora · 03/10/2008 20:20

verso very on your behalf, woman sounds like a complete cow. But it doesn't surprise me. I regularly have to stand on train. I think sometimes I could go into labour and no-one would offer a seat!! maybe I mmight try it next week and suddenly shout 'on my god my waters have gone', anyone want to plac a bet how many people would move then .

Hope everyone has a good weekend, I intend to be very lazy and lounge about (apart from a 3 yr old's birthday party tomorrow).

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