Due March 2009 - 3rd thread - Aches, cravings and... is that a bump I see?!

[auntyspan]

Brand new thread ladies!

Blimey, had not even THOUGHT about childcare yet! Sounds like we'd better get cracking!
Hope everyone's feeling better after their rubbish day yesterday...

boobz that is steep!! So it is definately true...being up north rocks!! hehe!

lizziemun thanks for that! that would be okay if i worked part time and locally...but as I dont it would cost over £1000...going to have to seriously think about this!!!!

I thought I went into this with everything pplanned...but it all seems to be falling aroung my ears oh dear.

All this talk about childcare - I got a 'newsletter' from DS's nursery yesterday where it was slipped in somewhere on page 3 that they are raising their fees to £20 a session. That's £40 per day per child. And they don't provide meals or nappies. Aaargh.

I think I am in the wrong bit of 'up north' as all childminders locally seem to charge £4-£4.50 per hour per child, and ditto no nappies or meals included. This is pretty crippling, even on a good salary. Gulp.

Don't forget you may be able to get help via childcare vouchers from either yours or DP/H work and tax credits

Thanks Witch - so maybe it is the baby after all? Hurrah!

Lizziemun - did I read that right? £3.50 an hour for a childminder? That's well below minimum wage! Surely that can't be right?

Having read everyone's posts about waiting lists etc, I phoned the nursery on the street next to mine, so would be ideal. I would need a place from Sept 2009 and they told me the waiting list is until Dec 2009 - so a 14 month waiting list! And at £275 a week, that's £1375 a month (but I think that's nappies and food included). £1375! That's nearly half of my take home salary! And it's Streatham - it's not like it's Clapham or Chelsea or anything.

Ugh. Have been looking at nannies as well but that doesn't seem to be cheaper either. What's the difference between a child minder and a nanny (just age of child?)

Help. Sob.

boobz

Yes but don't for get they may have 2 or more children too care for so then they would be earning before tax and NI £7 plus an hour so they are then over the minimum wage if that makes sense.

And that's why i cannot afford to work i wouldn't take home that much. So i have to wait until dd2 goes to school in 4 years time or wait till mum retires.

Arrrghhh! Not even thought about childcare. Think I better get doing something about it. Fortunately, my mum is retired and DH's mum doesn't work, so may be seeing if they mind looking after the baby part time. Unfortunately I am bread winner so not sure if I will be able to go part time.

Bread winner here also. Have worked out that if I did use that nursery in the example above, DH would only get £500 change from his take home salary. Not that he would ever be a SAHD.

On a more positive note - had my 20 week scan yesterday. There is still definitely a baby in their. I get very worried about whether it is still there when I have not seen / heard it for a while.

And I can now say they think it is going to be a little girl. So 'here come the girls, girls, girls' etc etc. And probably some shopping for pink dresses in the near future.
Just have to start thinking about potential names for her.

No, don't think my DH's pride would allow hime to be a completely SAHD although we may compromise on both doing 4 days a week.

MMM...I just got back from lunch! Had a subway and Krispy Kreme doughnut...soo yummy!

After childcare I would only have £545 left...which together with DPs take home of £1100 is JUST enought to live on! I do have togo back to work though as we cannot survive on his wage with 2 personal loans and a car on finance...plus student debt!

If we could get DPs mum onside and see if she can do 2 days a week then I would have a bit more to contribute! I just hate the fact that I have to go back to work to only end up earning the equivalent of £125.77 a week...thats only £3.35 per hour...well below minimum wage!! For an extremely stressful job as well It actually makes me so cross

The childcare voucher system that my work operates covers £243 per month which you can buy straight from your wages therefore not paying tax or NI...a grand saving of £75 a month...better than nothing I suppose!

Oh I could whinge about this all day...must stop!

jollyjoanne woohoo...a girl! Now we have a girl and aboy on the thread!!

Hi All.

Hope you all get your childcare sorted - I haven't been back to work since having dd and don't plan to for a while yet (all assuming of course DH gets fit and healthy again soon and back to the grindstone !) so that's one less thing to worry about.

All this talk of finding out the sex is very exciting. Its beginning to make me waiver about finding out. Part of me thinks that after the few months of worry and stress we've had with DH it'd be something exciting to do but then I worry that I might regret finding out. Hmmmmm... tricky one.

Well I must be beginning to feel a bit better - I have started exercising again. DH and I went swimming this morning and I'm going to try and go 3 times a week. I aslo start antenatal yoga (or yogo as DD calls it) tomorrow although am a bit concerned I might get a bit bored as its 1.5 hours.

I am soooooo happy! DP has just said he now wants to know what flvour bean Im cultivating!!! I wont have to keep it secret, or hide pink/blue stuff from him!!

Hi wheely Is is even possible to get bored in yoga? It is SUPPOSED to be relaxing!??!

Congratulations Emma Its so nice that you both come to the same decision.

I've just realised someone was asking about childminders.

I'm a CM in SW London, I charge £5 per hour/£40 per day. Parents provide nappies and baby food if under one year old. Some CM's near me charge £50 per day. Some only £35.

I am lurking every so often, so I'm still here but I seem to have lost touch a bit so I will keep lurking and sticking my head through the door if that's ok I haven't really posted much since the 1st thread
Emma great news your DP wants to find out the sex. I want to find out but DP doesn't really. It'll be hard to keep it a secret so he might just as well find out!

Are you pleased about that Emma

BIB - I've never done Yoga before, I always thought I'd find it difficult to do the relaxing thing and enjoy it but hopefully I'll surprise myself as its an active birth yoga class so would be useful if I get the chance to try and push !

Not caught up on the last couple of day girls so bare with me if ive missed anyone out

Jollyjoanne CONGRATS!!! girls are fab!! i have 2 little princesses, and i would have been more than happy with another!!

I see alot of you are panicing about money and childcare, all i can say is dont!! its not worth it and it will all sort itself out one way or another. I didnt return to work after having DD1 as the costs of childcare didnt really make it worth while, but we have managed!! Yes we have cut back (slight understatment!) neither of us have designer clothes anymore and we rarely go out!! but we are happy!! ......just a few bucks short, thats all

Another thing that some of you may be entitiled to is a surestart maternity grant, im just off on school run but i will post i link later.

xxx

wow...that was a lot of smiley faces...Im just so happy! I have one of those plastered on my face...cant get rid of it!!

I am just so hapy that we can both find out together and I dont have to keep any secrets from him. We can share the happiness together...and the baby shopping!

Only done yoga once which was the week before I found out I was pregnant. After that I wasn't allowed to go anymore because the standard classes are not suitable for pg ladies. I really enjoyed it tho and ached badly after. just cos its slow it is still hard work! At the end you literally lie down and meditate/relax/stop thinking about anything for 10minutes. which is quite tough to completely empty your mind but in all it is good fun.

I am trying to find pregnancy yoga in my area but not having any joy. Which reminds me. Time to send a few emails!

Sorry for the ramble!

After looking at all this I'm surprised anyone can afford to go back to work after havng a baby! Luckily I won't be going back- DH earns enough to pay the bills and keep us in food, we'll just have to go without luxuries for a few years. I've been on a few 'exotic' holidays in the last few years, (New York, Nepal and Malaysia in the last 4 years, as well as a trp to Pompeii at the beginning of the year, whch is somewhere I'd always wanted to go), so I'm happy with camping and day trips to the seaside for the next few years. I didn't go abroad with my parents until I was 16 and it didn't do me any harm, hopefully this sprog will feel the same!
Cold is going now, so I'll be back at work tomorrow. I've been off the last few days because I've hurt too much to move- probably would have been OK if could dose myself up to the eyeballs on ibuprofen and lemsip, but as it is I've just stayed in bed and drunk honey and lemon. Bump is huge now- well, not huge, but there's no way of disguising it any more!

It's so exciting that people are finding out the flavour of their beans. I can't wait to find out, got to hold on for another 3 weeks though!!

Babyinbelly, did your yoga teacher really tell you that you couldn't do a normal class?? I'm continuing as before, and my teacher just makes slight adjustments to the moves for me as we go along. There really shouldn't be a problem with it once you're past 12 weeks. Obviously antenatal yoga is tailored to the needs of pregnant women, but i've been practising yoga for (oh dear lord) almost a decade and the antenatal class i tried last time was incredibly dull...

I was reading back over the last few days and I was wondering if anyone's views on 'nookie', as it was so politely called, during pregnancy are altering in the second trimester. I seem to have the opposite problem to everyone else, in that i have become rampant and insatiable. My husband is moaning that he can't keep up with me, particularly after a weekend of rugby... Is anyone else having this problem or am i totally wierd??!! Honestly i would be at it 24 hours a day if i could be, and i have developed a completely one track mind. Perhaps this is TMI. Ahem.

ellie Oh no...not TMI for me...I dont scare easily! It makes me laugh what poeple class as TMI on here!! DPs best friends wife became rampant in her 2nd trimester...another reason why DP is so diappointed...he was expecting I would be the same!! But you are far from abnormal...I think people tend to go one way or the other!!