Dec 08 - the one where we wonder what are our bodies going to do next?

[rosmerta]

Sorry for rubbish title, best I could do

Fingers crossed ZJ.

I asked my boss what she thought the best thing to do would be, as she's friends with the girl at work. She said to take my cue from her, but if I felt I should mention it, then perhaps send her an email before she comes back (she has a blackberry) and mention it there. What does everyone think?

x

Beans, I think an email might help the awkwardness. It's easier to get things out on paper as well. Having said you should take your cue from her, I do think Chutney makes some good points. When my husband died I did want people to acknowledge it and also to talk about it, now I think back (I try not to think about that terrible aftermath time much, though obviously I think about HIM every day). Yep. Send her an email.

Waiting, it sounds like magic about your pram. I think you've got nothing to lose by trying to clean it up.

Good luck to your friend, zj.

LT - that must have been so tough. Do you mind me asking when he died? I'm full of admiration for you for coping with that. I think I'd fall apart completely.

x

No, I don't mind at all. 2005, so not really that long. I certainly wouldn't have expected to be in this position so soon! But I think it's good for me, and DP is really nice - which is just as well, as I could definitely have ended up like Miss Havisham and not moved forward AT ALL. It's actually tempting and easier, in a way, to be like that, or it would have been for me. It's been pretty fraught though, because apart from his death (which even now seems unbelievable in a way) there's been all sorts of fallout - stuff in the papers, being banned from seeing my stepchildren, the fact that his estate is still not sorted out three years later. HOWEVER (and I was thinking this only last night) I wouldn't change a single part of my life (except for his suffering of course) and I am a REAL blessings counter. I am so lucky in a zillion and one ways, I really am, so you mustn't worry about me one bit and on a far lighter note, if my Mother doesn't stop buying me baby clothes and toys I don't know what I am going to do. She loves cuddly toys (I am less keen) and they are really starting to stack up. Latest is a sheep in a dufflecoat...

LadyT - losing your husband must have been sooo hard. I agree with your advice to Beans. I lost my Mum when I was 24 (and my Dad before that). When I returned to work I did want people to mention it rather than pretned that it had not happened. Just a little sympathy made me feel my pain was acknowledged. I also received laods of lovely letters from colleagues which was nice as I knew they cared but they did not have to say anything face-to-face.

Well I am feeling horrible today, which is bad as we are off to Sicily tomorrow. I am tired, achy a little shaky and a little nauseated. I keep having these kind of days with this pregnany. Does anyone else?

I just want to lie on the sofa and feel sorry for myself but can't as I have DD on my own and she has a second birthday party I have to take her to. I have not managed to buy the birthday girl a present and feel to horrible to shop so am going tohave to pretned I accidentally left it at home and then give it to her Mum next time I see her. I am a crap and lazy Mum sometimes. I hope we make it to Sicily .

Gosh, LT, such a positive attitude and you too, arti.

I haven't been bought any baby clothes or toys as yet - I feel a bit left out! One babygro from my godmother when I was 12 weeks, but that's it! Mind you, at the moment it's no bad thing as we haven't bought a chest of drawers for the nursery yet, so nowhere to keep anything!

arti - I'm so sorry you're feeling so grotty - it sounds like it might be a bug. I'm feeling ok in this pregnancy so far, but had a huff when I got to work this morning and cried rather embarrassingly and I really can't understand why! Easiest just to blame it on hormones.

I hope you get to Sicily too. Chin up and hope you feel better soon.

Arti - sorry to prattle on about my Mum buying me stuff. I'm sorry to hear that you've lost both your parents, that really is rough. But I think you are genuinely unwell today. I wish I could go and get a present for that little girl for you! Can you ring a friend to go and get you something as a huge favour? I have had those symptoms you describe, but not all together. I think you need lots of drinks, some paracetamol, a sleep and something to ease the nausea (I always take Rennies for this, even though they are supposed to be for indigestion they do often take the edge of general nausea).

What time are you flying tomorrow? If you can just manage to get yourself there, you can recover on the hol...

LadyT - don't worry at all. TBH you have been through worse than me, we all lose our parents at some point but not our husbands when we are young. It is rough not having either parent around, especially now I had DD, but I am really happy for everyone who is close to their parents and have them both around. Mum and I were very close, almost more like best friends, I ws very lucky to have a Mum like her even if it was for a shorter time than I would like. It is nice because my DD is very like her.

BTW when is the next London meet?

Well I have called the Mum of the brithday girl and apologised that DD and I will not be there. Luckily DD is too young to remember we were going. I am now lying on the sofa with my laptop and DD is amazed that she is being allowed to watch CBeebies int he middle of the day. I will let her goggle at the screen for 45 mins or so and if I feel better we will try a gentle stroll in the park.

hello just popping briefly you girls have been so busy. DH is working from home at the mo so DS and i have been getting out a bit so not keeping up with the thread.

Def having loads of caffiene as had crap last night due to wind, indigestion and DH has blocked nose so was snoring (poor thing though not very well)

I read on the DH involvment bit not that it is an excuse but it doesn't help that health professionals don't try to involve them DH came to my 2nd ante natal early last month and MW completely ignored him looked quite shocked that he was there.

anyway speaking of which had my final NHS appointment today (yay) and met a diff midwife who was quite supportive of the independent midwife thing but quite ashamed that we had to go down that route she has encouraged me to write some stern letters etc. we also had abig political bitch about the state of the NHS etc so was nice. Also BP is the usual (i seem to always have a low one) and heard my boys heartbeat . Looking forward to my IM coming over in a couple weeks time for our 1st proper visit.

Gotta go we are going over to nottingham to a big chinese supermarket as i have a serious craving for steam veggie dumplings.

oh and hatty in response to your SIL and her quiet birth, i was yelling so much the midwife suggested taht maybe some of the energy i was putting in screaming should be put into pushing.

arti do you need a sugary snack? I seem to get hungry and sugar lows more easily, so maybe a biscuit will do the trick (unless your too nauseous - I hope not). Hope you're feeling better tomorrow in time for your holiday.

Has anyone noticed there's a May 09 thread started? I can't believe people are pregant but not due til May next year - I still feel I've got so far to go, but still it's creeping up scarily fast!

Whoever yesterday told the tale of telling their DH to f* off when he tried to massage them when they were in labour - I told my DH it last night and he laughed out loud at that. Bet he won't be laughing when it's own wife telling him where to go!

LT I admire your strength, particularly in trying to cope with what sounds like a very complicated aftermath. I lost my sister at 14 (she was 19) and my father at 18 and both times found people's silence and awkwardness worse than when they tried to say something - anything. With my sister it didn't help that all my peers were so young, as they hadn't the faintest idea how to handle it - which is only to be expected - but I felt very very alone.

arti the next London meet up is September 19th - near Victoria - in a restaurant I can't remember the name of . I will aim to find out before the date or there could be lots of very lost and hungry-looking pregnant ladies wandering aimlessly about the place! I'm sorry you're feeling rotten today, btw. If it's any consolation I think there's a few of us on here who have had some rough days. You have my sympathy.

LT that must have been so hard for you and the aftermath sounds very tough. So glad for you that you are enjoying your life now.

Beans I would agree with the others' advice. Think I have mentioned before,but after my termination a few years ago, I really appreciated the friends that were not too afraid to talk to me. Some very close friends seemed to disappear. Before I went back to work (had about a month off) I got a card from a lady at work which I really appreciated, so possibly the email would be a good idea. Is the expression 'an elephant in the room?' If you do not talk about it with her, it will just hang about between you.

Ok, think I've vaguely caught up. Have to say reading through has given me a kick up the backside, a lot of you seem to be dealing with some tough stuff and it sure puts my mopeing about our move in pespective! Babblington, never heard of PUPPPs til now and it sounds grim, poor you. Verso, you sound like you're doing a stirling job, being pg isn't easy at the best of times and you've got a plate full.

There was some chat on mat coats, jojo do one with a zip out panel which means it's fine before and after - here which looks quite good. Didn't get last time but when pg with dd had reinaulds (sp) type thing with my nipples - sorry if tmi - and was really sore every time I got cold, am hoping won't re-occur.

My tuppence on nappies is that we've used toweling tots bots with motherease wraps for both of ours and they've been fab. Outlay initially expensive but have saved loads in the long term - we use washable wipes too. Used from day 1 second time round - mws very supportive of use in hospital, and dh just swapped full bucket for empty each day when visited - will do again this time. Can't wait to get my tiny size 1's out again as up to size 3's with ds now so quite a contrast. The nappy lady is a good site to check out - survey you can fill in to taylor recommendations and if you buy from them you have free access to an advisor for as long as you're using cloth - they've always been good in our experince.

Beans - think it was you that was looking at the big wall stickers, they are great! Dd has the jungle ones and ds the underwater ones - we've moved ours twice in the time we've had them with shifting houses and they are dead easy on and off - work best on a silk matt type paint.

Oh great, Twiga - will tell DH that someone has tried them and they are good! I love them!

Just a v quick sweet story. DH won't speak to the bump because he feels really silly, but last night, he leaned over, gave it a quick kiss and said "don't tell anyone I did that". so sweet. He went all pink too!

and I'm a disloyal wife for telling people - but it was so gorgeous, I nearly cried! And completely out of character.

Beans, that is lovely! And telling people things on Mumsnet doesn't count as telling people

Yes, I think they do feel a bit daft talking to the bump sometimes. I know I do, let alone him, and I hardly ever do it (mind you, I reckon she gets to hear enough of MY voice as it is). DP just booms "Froggy!" or "Froggy! Stop kicking your mother!" (he calls her Frogmella, which clearly isn't her name, but he likes Froggy now so sadly I think he is going to call her that FOREVER - I am not even joking ) at her now and then - what he thinks that's going to do is anyone's guess...

haha, mine talks to it all the time, he has no shame at all . Also he has decided that if you are underwater it is easier to hear deep sounds than high sounds so he talks in a stupid deep voice!
Hooray I am on holiday for a week from tomorrow, counting down the minutes until I can leave!!
Frogmella, didn't that come from Wayne and Waynetta on Harry Enfield? I think they called their daughter that. And they also considered "Spudulika" - haha!

Yes, SummerLightning, that's EXACTLY where it came from. And furthermore my two nephews believe that that is what she is really being called (which tells you a lot about their impression of me!)

Ooh, didn't Effie have her scan today? Well, hope it went well if you are checking in.

Bye, I'm off to the country now x

well DS was called Costcutter from an early age (don't ask) and it took us a bit of time to get used to calling him William once he was born... no name for this one as yet, poor neglected bump.

Been catching up on all your news: sleep - I had teh world's worst sleeper for 15 months and survived, it's amazing what you can cope with. Babbs: the itching sounds awful .

Had my follow-up scan today: he doesn't think the baby does have a cleft lip though again couldn;t see clearly. But he did spot something funny with my umbilical cord - 2 vessels instead of 3 - so I need another scan at about 33 weeks to check the baby is growing OK. Am I imagining things or does someone else have a funny cord as well? Reban?

Have been all over London today and heading back up to MIL's on the train tonight. V tired and cross. As is DS who is teething at the moment. Grrrr.

x-posts LT

oh nooooo we drove all the way over to Nottingham and walked all over looking for the chinese supermarket only to find that some guy had come in yesterday and bought all their veggie dumplings aaaahhhhh i have a really hankering for them. Oh well they did have veggie buns which are kinda close but not quite the same. I making a curry tonight cos can't think of anything else to cook and figure it can't make indigestion any worse than it already is.

Effie there is def someone else on here with similar thing, and she said it was prob fine just need to check later like you said.

The midwife measured my bump today and said the baby is a little on the big side. He was a bit bigger than DS at the same stages for the scan but what i would like to know is how can she tell from measuring my bump that it is the baby or me that is a bit big????

Effie - we've a two vessel cord here too. Good to hear you've been offered a follow up scan - I need to wait til I'm in the system here (just moved) and then discuss that as an option. Dh is a doc and was explaining that cord made up of two arteries and a vein - 2 vessels means there's just a single artery. There may have been 2 at one point but 1 not formed properly or clotted off at some point - just one of those things and apparently, reasonably common. Loosing the vein is always fatal. My understanding is that you need to be aware of any sudden drop in baby's movement - as with any pg really and that if they think growth an issue then would deliver early. Early delivery worrying but am facing third section anyway as pelvis too narrow to deliver naturally - would be the early bit which would be a shok rather than the section bit for me if it happened iyswim. Was told not to worry about it, hope you're not feeling anxious.

where is everyone? Have started the following thread - i know it's a while away but thought the tips might be good for all of us - organising Christmas in advance - some good ones on there already!