Due December 08 - time to start blooming and glowing.

[JamInMyWellies]

New thread lovely ladies

Hmmm. My last appointment was 12 week scan on 28th May, with MW apptmt on 22nd. Now nothing til 1st Aug with anomoly scan and next MW on 7th Aug. Does seem a hell of a long time to wait! I guess not a lot more I can do, but would be keen to try and listen to heartbeat before next scan if I can.

Thanks everyone for all advice, much appreciated. I think lots of apptmts then start from there on in until the end - ie. every 4 weeks etc. Maybe it's just south london is a bit lax!

Oh God, forgot to say, on holiday, I had sudden total wobbly on DH re being a disappointment to him etc. Was terrble and very embarrassing. Had to apologise profusely. Luckily he was very nice to me.

I think I'm slightly in denial about being pg. Look in mirror at big boobs and sticky out tum and just feel revolted rather than excited. I wonder how all these lucky people do it - you know, bask, in it! I just can't do it. Feel thoroughly horrified by it all and get awful feelings of self-dislike (was going to say loathing, but feels a bit much). I hope that it's just hormonal though. And that it'll pass. I find myself rubbing the bump subconsciously and feel ridiculous!!!

Gosh, sorry, that was a bit of a self-pity thing. I'd have hoped to be a bit more positive than this, as miscarried on last pregnancy and was, of course, completely distraught, so feel I should constantly be thrilled this time. And somehow I'm not.

Sorry sorry.

Oh Beans you poor thing. not sure what to say to help you feel better. Your DH is obviously very understanding and he will be recover from your outburst. My DH has just learnt to listen to me rant then, smile and give me cuddles when i turn around to apologise.

not sure if what i'm feeling is the same but i really enjoyed my first pregnancy basically loved every second of it i spent 9 months in some sort of happy blooming bubble and was so looking forward to that lovely feeling this time. But it has been very different i feel frumpy and unattractive and really lazy because i am just to tired to do anything. Sometimes it feels like i have every symptom in the book. Luckily i have my lovely cheeky DS who reminds me of that lovely pregnancy. And DH is very understanding though has to be away a lot with work.

Why would your DH possibly be disappointed with you?

CC i can't believe your friend is being like this when your pregnant, damn it she should be worshiping the ground you walk on. Wouldnt that be nice if everyone treated us like princesses and were nice to us all the time because we are producing the next generation. Sorry got a bit carried away.

Maybe your less tolerant because she has pushed your tolerance to the limit. I find while i'm pregnant i want my life as easy as possible and if anyone gets in the way of that ease...dump them.

beans I went through that worry of being a disappointment first time around too. Its normal, down to the hormones, just make sure your dh gives you a cuddle when you need it! I don't know what I can say about not enjoying the pregnancy though - I loved it first time around, admittedly not so much this time!

cc what a shame about your friend, I do find though that my tolerance levels drop dramatically when pg! Perhaps its better just to leave it a while and maybe she'll come around?

Beans I miscarried the last two times - it's really difficult to get excited this time round. You don't sound convinced that phoning to make a m/w appointment would work... I would phone and double-check, just for your own peace of mind.

CC I'm sorry you're going through this. I've lost two 'friends' from my old antenatal group because they said I was 'flapping' about the birth when I shared my worries, and to stop panicking because it would be fine (because theirs were). Considering what I went through last time (and the results of the postnatal tests I had for perineal injury/continence issues) I was a bit shocked they weren't more sympathetic - but now it's got to the stage where they're cross that I got offended! I know what you mean about tolerance levels - I just can't be bothered.

Yes - it's stupid o'clock again. DD woke up an hour ago to be taken to the loo and I lay awake in bed for half an hour with my mind racing before deciding to get up for a bit. No wonder I'm sometimes shattered! Could do with some serious sleep though - will head off and see if I can get back to sleep.

P.S. Beans I was in South London for my last baby and got seen regularly...

CC: my tolerance levels are also at an all-time low. I find I fold in on myself when I'm pg and just can't be bothered with anyone messing me about. Just leave it and see if you want to pick things up later on.

Beans: we're going through massive changes (physical and emotional) and feeling ambivalent about it is normal. Be nice to yourself and make sure your DH realises he needs to give lots of reassurance and cut you plenty of slack!

Thanks everyone - sorry - was feeling on a bit of a low last night. I have picked up today and lay awake this morning thinking that I'm going to be really POSITIVE from now on and make an effort to enjoy myself instead of being a miserable lump. God knows, I've wanted to have a baby for long enough! So, have put on a lovely new maternity cardy from Mamas and Papas and go with it. Today I think I actually look pregnant, rather than lardy, so am going to enjoy it!

thanks so much for all the kind words - this website really does help. I will ring the MW this morning and see what happens.

thank you all loads.

Verso you poor thing, you must be shattered today. I think you have every reason to be concerned if you had problems after your last birth. Have you been referred to a women health physio? I'm a real woose when it comes to concerns about birth stuff. My DS's birth was completely fine though a little long in the 2nd stage, no injuries or problems with the baby yet i was always have a little fear in the back of my mind that something might happen, so if i had had problems like you had i would be a nightmare to be around. So you expressing some legitimate concerns should be fine, they should come forward with some constructive advice.

I had a friend in my antenatal group who kicked up such a fuss when i told them we were moving out of London she practically said we would be almost lynched for being a mixed race couple. She got really upset about it and would make a big fuss whenever we met up. It got so bad that i didnt want to see her anymore. Luckily she calmed down and accepts now that we are happy here and we have a nice chat whenever we are down in London. I think part of the problem is sometimes peoples own issues, my friend is in a mixed race couple and i think would like to move away but is too scared to leave London. Maybe your friends had fears with their 2nd births but were too proud or scared to express them.

Is anyone else absolutely starving at the moment. I just had 2 pieced of French toast for breakfast but i feel like i haven't eaten anything. Think i'm gonna have to eat again.

This thread is so reassuring.

I am also starving all the time - had two veggie pies and a huge baked potato followed by tiramusu last night and still felt hungry! Can't stop eating carbs - I dream about white bread rolls!

Perhaps as a result of this, I'm finding it harder getting more pregnant looking and seeing my body change this time around. I keep kicking myself as I know this will be my last pregnancy and I want to enjoy it, but I look at all my clothes and wonder how long it'll be after the birth until I can climb into them again. It did take me a long time after the twins to stop looking pregnant, the weight went off most places but I still had a bump shape for years!

Verso - ignore your friends, they don't sound like they're being at all supportive. You will find new ones - did you get on the NCT in the end? CC- you don't need the stress either, if your friend won't talk to you, then just try and not worry too much - it sounds like the problem is all on her side..

I am so tired - I keep waking up at 5.30! I tell myself it's good practice for when the babies born!

mmmm....veggie pie, potatoes, tiramisu, how good is tiramisu. DH and i went on a cycling holiday around italy a few years ago and we made a commitment to eat Tiramisu everynight so we could assess which region did the best. it was all in the name of research of course.

Oh wow, I'm hungry as! got into work at 7.45 this morning (up early due to husband going for early morning swim at local lido and was awake anyway!). Had 2 croissants, some of those pineapple portions and melon portions from Sainsburys. am now starving again. I feel a marmite toastie coming on!

Also, have made a doctor's appointment for tomorrow - just to listen to heartbeat for peace of mind and also because my husband is working with someone who has shingles at moment and just need to check all ok. I've had it, but slightly nervous of the weener being affected.

Ready for bed now...

I swear its this thread that makes me hungry! And I have to pop to the supermarket, might stop and treat myself to a bacon buttie!

I'm feeling a bit down today. I'm writing an essay for my course which is about bf/ff and its bringing back everything with ds (failed bf). Poor dh had to put up with me crying last night over it & am still feeling a bit tearful now. I thought I'd come to terms with it all but obviously not!

Oh well, maybe the bacon buttie will help!

Sorry for the me post.

you should be fine on the shingles front, have you had chicken pox?

now i feel like croissants, vegemite toast (we don't have marmite in the house but pretty much same thing) and veggie pie's etc.

will have to settle with my cup of tea and biscuit for now. i just discovered my new mugs are too narrow for dunking digestives, will have to go back to old mugs, or break digestive in half.

I am babysitting one of my sons friends this morning and it is wonderful they are playing so well together so i have some time to have a cup of tea.

i just felt a definate kick cheeky little monkey. DS is loving talking to the baby, he pulls up my shirt and shows my belly all his trains and cars. He also tells it about the latest episode of Numberjacks. It's so cute.

Oh gorgeous! How old is your DS, veggie? He sounds so sweet! I can't wait for my little beasty to pop out - fingers crossed!!

PS Yes, have had both chicken pox and shingles, so sure all will be fine. Probably paranoid. TBH, it's more so that I can hear the heartbeat etc.

He is nearly 3 he is a really lovely little man, he is a lot like his dad very calm and gentle. I think he will make a great big brother although if it is a girl i think she may be a bit bossy like me and end up bossing him about.

That should be fine with the shingles i think but always good to check, and so exciting that you will hear the heartbeat.

Here's something for my new positive attitude:

What's everyone's favourite bit about being pregnant so far?

Mine's definitely that I don't have to watch what I eat so much - although sure I should be more than I am!!! And loving comfy maternity clothes - heaven!

oh Rosmerta i missed your message i must have crossed messaged with it, you poor thing, i am always so grateful i was able to BF ds for as long as i wanted to. I have a friend who just had to give up after trying for 5 weeks and not only deal with being shattered with it not going well but also her DS really loved the ff and she feels a real failure. I didn't know what to say to make her feel better, she had tried everything & had seen breastfeeding counselors so there was no point in giving advice. i think in the long run it won't make any difference but it was something she really wanted to do. Maybe you should just have a really good cry about it, i know it won't make it any better but it may feel good. What is the assignment about.

this is cheeky but when i am feeling lazy (which is often) sighing very loudly and saying "oh this baby is making me so tired i think i'll just leave the washing up/vacuuming/cleaning for a minute and have a quick sit down", to which i know full well DH will reply "oh you poor thing this baby is really wearing you out i'll do the washing up/vacuuming/cleaning".... is that bad.

oh i also like feeling it move and talking to DS about it.

Beans welcome back and no need to apologise for how you feel - you are just being honest. I am a bit traumatised by the growing belly which hasn't been helped by a few throw away remarks from DP about whether it is all baby or just the mountains of food I am eating that is causing the growth - very helpful I don't think . I have tried to explain that as I am 20 weeks I am supposed to be getting big ! and if he thinks this is big, God help me in a few more months when I can barely walk !!!!

cc given that you have tried to approach her twice and that you are PG I reckon you leave it now and the ball is in her court, you don't need the stress.

Oh and I second the fact that this thread is so reassuring as I felt a fair bit of movement last week and not much atall this week (in fact I can't remember the last time I was sure it was the baby moving and not wind) but have calmed down having read this and will just hope he starts his gymanstics soon

rosmerta bacon butties are medically proven to help when you are feeling low

Veggie aah bless your DS sounds like a real sweetie ! And your relaxing tactic is not bad it is genius !

Beans good idea discussing our favourtie bits. Likewise mine is eating more (esp haribo and crisps) with no guilt and friends and colleagues treating me really well and telling me about their experiences - everyone has made me feel so special, it is lovely .

Here is another topic to keep us smiling - shopping ! Anyone chosen a pram yet ? Would any non- first-timers like to share advice, any pitfalls to avoid ? I am thinking about the iCandy Apple as have heard lots of very good reports and it seems sturdy yet light and looks good

mmmm.... buying a pram, i think you should put as much thought into this as buying a car. also it is very individual so it's good to read reviews etc but remember it has to apply to your needs. When we had DS we lived in inner London had no car and walked or caught the bus or tube everywhere so needed a sturdy but lightweight pushchair that folded easily if necessary so went with the Maclaren XT classic as it has a little soft bit you put in for when they are a little baby. We loved it and DS still uses it and it is v.good working order ready for next one. However, it doesnt have the carseat insert bit (although i think the new one might) and also it faces away from you. It has a little window up top which is handy as you want to look at them every 5 seconds.

We were very very happy with it but i have to say for about the first month we mostly went about with DS in a sling so didnt need to buy pushchair as early as we did, but lets face we want to get all that sort of stuff early. Oh the best advice i can pass on is a website called kiddicare.com really cheap and fast delivery.

ooh, I will have a look at that. we're thinking about the Silvercross 3D pram with all the bits that go with it - converts from pram to pushchair and can also clip in carseat. Any comments?