Due June 08 - As we start nesting will the creme eggs start hatching?

[bitofadramaqueen]

Another new thread! By the time this one runs out we might have some babies!!! Although, we do chat a lot so maybe not...

Josey that's disgraceful. Is it a big company/small company? He needs to speak to his line manager and/or HR department and explain that the repayment proposal will leave him in financial hardship. I would reiterate that he had reported this on several occasions. I would then back it up all in writing either letter/email to both his line manager and HR department. I'd recommend outlining a (realistic) alternative repayment proposal. If they dont comply he should put in a grievance.

Will check up on legality of reclaiming overpaid wages for you and get back to you.

mellymell I'm on SMP too so we can be poverty stricken together .

Josey here for info on deductions from wages. I'd call ACAS for advice (CAB offices are often part-time and harder to speak to the right person).

I can't believe we are moving on to another new thread already, we definitely chat too much!

I would definitely talk to HR about the over-payment and try to get them to take it over a longer period. Point out to them that he is about to have a new baby and needs the time off and maybe they will be a bit more helpful. Does your dh get paternity leave?

What are people's situations with paternity leave? My dh had three days with the last two but has since moved to a US firm who give 10 days!! We were really surprised but very pleased. Mind you, he works really long hours and is always having conference calls at midnight etc. so I think we deserve it!

I'm a bit spoiled - DH gets two weeks on full pay then is taking two weeks annual leave. It'll start basically when I go into labour. [smil].

not [smil]!

[Makecakes whispers- dh is working from home from the week that I am due to be induced, then my mum arrives to stay for a month then after she leaves DH takes a month off. Feeling very lucky.]

Going to 'measure up' at our potential new house tomorrow!!!!

Josie - Dramaqueen can probably help more than me. However I used to be a pensions manager: legally it is deemed fair to try and claim the money back over a period of time that is at least double that over which it was paid. That used to be standard procedure for those for whom giving the money back would cause no probs. If it would then triple or even quadruple the period of time would be reasonable. However I also recall cases where the trustees decided that it wasn't worth the hassle of trying to get the money back at all.

If you would like me to talk to my payroll manager (who sits near me), I'm happy to do so?

Thanks for your messages - it's great to be able to share some happy news! DH has suggested the LO and I decamp to a friends house for the day whilst he and some of his friends move all our stuff - I'm not going to argue.

Sorry to hear about the SPD sufferers - I must remember how lucky I am! My physio is wonderful, even if the effects don't last long enough. It's also free through work, so I'm not missing a single appointment.

The breastfeeding tops comments are very useful. Will check ebay tonight to see if there are any bargains...

New craving .... carrot cake....

I've never used bfeeding tops - just hoiked up what I'm wearing, whilst using the baby to hide my flab and a muslin draped over my shoulder. I did this once at a governors' meeting at the boys' school and was congratulating myself on how discrete I was, when I realised that my top had got tangled up and I'd spent the past hour sitting opposite the headteacher with my horrific post-natal gut flopping out

My DH is self-employed so doesn't get paternity leave. At all my other labours I have phoned him when things got going (I've been happy on my own when induced as it can take ages for anything to happen), and he brings work papers to the delivery room. He generally puts them down when I'm about to push . Hopefully I won't be induced this time so he'll be around for the whole thing.

Having said that, my lovely in-laws are coming for 5 weeks and staying in a flat nearby (their choice!) so I will have lots of help, so feel very lucky.

DH has got an evil strategy for rejecting names. He lost a case today and told me that his gloating opponent's name was the name that I have set my heart on!

rolf that's pretty sneaky of DH. Quite funny though!

I thought it was funny, too! But it means the gloves are off - I'm making up all sorts of stories to promote my favourite names! I'm even rehearsing the old delivery room standby of asking for my favourite name seconds after delivery, when only the hardest-hearted husband would refuse you anything

Thanks for the info re pay....Its not so much we will be left broke its a case of DH has a salary plus 5 off-shore days if he does any work or not and that pays all the bills etc but if there was no work and they took the deduction then we are boxed anything over the 5days we are fine does that make sense....anyway if he takes paternity leave they are mingy and he looses his salary for that time and gets the standard paternity rate so we better off he takes hols.....they sent a letter today to say that he has been over paid he has 7 days to sign and return a slip to say he got the letter and they will show the reductions on his wage slip if he doesnt reply they will take them anyway but not show the deductions he managed to talk to someone when he got to Norway and they have said they will look at spreading it over longer than 6 months as he wont have the same pay each month...aparently he is not the only one they have dont this too and they will be having a meeting when they can get them all together whenever that maybe...even though they are taking the 1st deduction this month grrr ok I have banged on enough sorry guys.

Im going to have to make carrot cake for sure now....mmmm with lots of butter icing.

Effing guests, have been phoning all day we are coming, yes we know. We will be leaving at, thank you, tis now nearly 10 and still no sign of them no phone call nothing.

OK here now, very nice, and now I can go to bed.

Welcome to splodgesmum!

Just to say thanks very much to everyone for all the advice about breast pumps (especially upsidedowncake who very kindly included a link to my local children's centres - coincidentally my antenatal classes are at one of them).

Also coincidentally, a manual breast pump just came up on my local Freecycle and I'm collecting it tomorrow! Everyone's helpful advice made me think it was well worth giving manual a go at least. So am feeling very pleased about the zero expenditure.

Have also got a Baby Bjorn and also a whole bag full of nice, good condition newborn clothes from Freecycle a few weeks ago so would very much recommend it.

Good morning

Things are even worse here today - DH also has Tristan's germs now - why are men so bad when they are ill? It also means I don't get looked after now - he's really good with me when I'm poorly but I don't make a very good nurse, I'm fine if the boys are ill but with dh it's just different. Please send some get better vibes to Austria please!!

Baby must have been trampolining last night - was up every 2 hours to wee last night, oh, or maybe it was because I woke up to cough and you all know what that can do!!

Wigeon - sounds like you're getting some good freecycle bargains, wish they had it here.

PP - great idea to go to a friends whilst your dh moves you.Then you're not there to hear them struggling up the stairs with the beds etc...

Rolf - bfeeding/showing the flab, I have done exactly the same
I'm trying to get dh to face up to looking at boys names so I left him a list at the computer, he laughed a lot at some of them and that's it so far.

Sophie - glad your guests arrived at last, I hate waiting up for guests. We had some that got lost on the way, went to the wrong Muehlbach and we had to keep calling them (on their foreign mobile)to talk them through the journey otherwise they were ready to give up and book in where they'd got to. Wished I'd never bothered , when they left at the end of the week the woman had dyed her hair and bleached all the towels.

Makecakes - how definite is the "potential new house" and when will you be moving?

Ernest - how are things today, boys back at school? Any lemon cake left for us?

Morning all - Deb I 'm with you, love being nursed, bad at doing the nursing. DH is brilliant with me. DD gone to school and breakfast for 9.30 so have a while before I need to do anything.

My mother has very kindly offered to pay for me to see a physio privately if a referral is not forthcoming, may well take her up on that as just getting worse.

Hi everyone, god this is a busy thread - I can't keep up!

Boys' names - we're considering Alexander (dh's favourite), Samuel, Oliver, Evan. But as I say, we're both very traditional on names so don't expect anything hugely exciting from me!

SPD, I've been having physio and osteopathy - but just found out that since my dh moved jobs I'm no longer covered by his private health insurance so no more osteopathy for me! I'm finally relenting and ordering a belt this week though - I was worried about it hurting the baby but have been assured it won't.

My maternity pay is also completely crap and I work for local government! I changed jobs last year and you have to have 63 wks continuous service to qualify - I will have 61!!!! If I'd known I'd have delayed my IVF by a month - ho hum!

Josie, really sorry to hear about your dh salary. HR depts really can be so incompetent!

Right, I better go to work - by the time I get home there will probably be another 100 posts on here!

Splodge - love your choice of names, I love Alexander but one of my friends has just called her son by this and my BIL is also called Alex but my dh thinks he's a bit of plonker so that rules that name out. We've also got Samuel on the list and my ds is called Oliver - so we definitely love that name! In fact my dh keeps joking that we should use it again if we have another boy

We're also going down the traditional names route particularly for boys but my friends keep pinching my favourite names.

I'm really lucky with maternity pay as I get full pay for quite a number of weeks (too embarassed to say how many). Plus my dh gets one week on full pay, one week on SPP and he hopes to take 2 weeks holiday (but I think this is partly because it will be summer and he wants a nice long time off in the sun). Actually he was really good at looking after me last time, I had breakfast in bed every day - usually cooked!!!!! Not sure it is going to be such luxury this time with a 22 month ds running around

Ahem, I'd just like to say that payroll and HR are often seperate departments/staff. And managers are often very crap/incompetent at passing on information to HR departments .

If our company overpays someone because of a payroll/manager error I always advise the managers that they shouldn't claim it back. [saintly HR emoticon]

Josey - glad to hear that they are reviewing the payment schedule. However, it sounds very ropey to me that they are threatening to take deductions and not show them on a wage slip?!?!?!!? I would definitely recommend phoning ACAS before your DH goes to the meeting for a bit of advice on his own particular situation. Also, make sure he records all the previous conversations about his pay and any future ones. You never know if it might be useful...

Deb - poor you having a house full of man germs.

splodgesmum- that's a shame you cant keep up with the osteopathy. Had it been helpful in managing the SPD. Sometimes if private health cover only available to employees their employers let them pay to upgrade to include spouse/family. If he hasn't already might be worth asking.

Right best get some work done!

Morning all.

My DH gets one week paternity leave on full pay, which he is taking, and can take another on statutary pay but probably won't as he has pretty much all of his annual leave left to take before september which works out as 4 or 5 weeks (works at a uni so gets loads of annual leave plus a week at Christmas / extra days at easter, very cushy!), I'm looking forward to him being around a lot in those first few months.

Slightly embarassing but have anyone elses breasts started to leak a bit? Mine have but only at night (thankfully!).

i'm with dramaqueen ... payroll and HR are not always the same department (and payroll are useless compared to HR! )

I'm also on SMP - haven't worked for this company long enough to get their maternity pay (6 months full pay!! Yes full pay!!)

All very jealous from here about paternity leave and maternity pay.

...and my skirt won't do up and keeps falling down

...and am feeling really fuzzy brained and have pissed off a client becuase I sent something that was incorrect to him

...and am feeling really tired of being at work, and just want to go home, go to sleep and not want to talk to anyone.

Am feeling grumpy this morning if you hadn't already guessed, and then feel that I'm not really in a posisiton to be becuase I don't have to move house a la pregnant penguin and makecakes, and don't have an ill DH to look after like debinaustria or have SPD.

Morning all-

with you on the lack of slee Debs. Made the mistake of waiting up for DH who went out for a boys supper last night. I can't not wait up in truth because the dog goes bonkers the moment he gets back and I have to get up and open the bedroom door, then she goes nuts, and DH turns all the lights on, blah blah. In short I'm better waiting up. Except he didn't get home until after midnight then I was up every hour needing the loo!!!!

On the plus side, I remembered to take a banana to bed so I had something to eat when the hunger pangs woke me at 4.30.

Mellymell, you're just not having a good day are you? How long do you have until you go on maternity leave? I took 7 weeks before the birth of ds and I was so relieved to not have to be at work -but then I worked for lawyers (sorry to anyone who is/married to lawyers!) and they can be really demanding and stroppy!

Dh has taken the car to play golf today which I am really annoyed about. It's not as if I use it that much (and I only passed my test when I was 28 so I am a really anxious driver who only drives around the local area) but it does mean I don't have to do the long walk to nursery and back at lunchtime, or the walk to nursery and school at picking up time which is a pain when I am feeling unwell.

Have just re-read that, and obviously dh is going to play golf, not the car

Right that's breakfast done, lovely guests helped clear table. Just some ironing to do and then can sit down with my book. Ran out of heating oil last night so got some more coming today, and the best news of all, we are getting our coach house looked at next week to do plans to get planning permission.