Due November 08 - we're a bunch of worrying fusspots who don't know we fancy to eat, but pass us the ginger biscuits purlease while we wait for 12 weeks

[Heartmum2Jamie]

Please continue chatting!

Good morning all well twink at least.

I feel like shit - not because of pg but dd2 has a really bad cough and i have been up all night with her.

dh has just gone to the gym and left me with the girls who are tearing each others hair out by the handfulls.

as for pg - still no sickness, really tired, sore boobs and can't get into any clothes which is really depressing.

how about you lot???

Morning (well afternoon now - growls at losing an hour of my day)

ugh - I feel rough this morning - am sat in front of the computer attempting to start a good few hours work but keep getting waves of nausea even though I've just polished off 2 bacon sandwiches!

Also keep coming over a bit faint - could this be a lack of ??? Iron maybe - I'm sure I have suffered with this before?

dh is about to take kids out so I can have some peace and get on but I feel the sofa may be too tempting!

you do know -roca- if yoou get on that lovely cosy sofa you will never get back off it and suddenly kids and dh will be home harrassing you and no work will of been done.

I know this as i have stuck dd1 in bath dd2 in front of cbeebies and i (in my mind) am ironing, vacuuming and polishing top to bottom

exactly tegan - I always say there is no place busier than in my head with all the things I should be doing!

I think I'll just have a little break and have a kiwi to counter balance the bad bacon sarnies! After all, so far I have managed to turn the computer on so am well on the way already!

Hello - I know how you both feel Roca and Tegan, I'm sitting on the sofa feeling faint and wishing that a miracle would occur and DH would suggest that he shoud do some hoovering!!!

it's very quiet today perhaps that hour change has affected everyone.

it didn't affect me since i have been up since 2am with dd2 and her horrible cough

hi all! just polished off 2 full fat croissants so dont feel too guilty Roca bout the bacon sandwiches! And im still in PJ's!

yep we are still in pj's too. sorry dd1 is getting dressed dd2 has dressed herself while i'm on mn so it's just me who is being a lazy bugger, but why shouldn't i after all it is sunday and i am carrying a precious load.

hi all, me too with the dizziness and nausea. I ate some bacon and felt a bit better but back to the waves of sickness. Tried to explain to DH its like travel sickness when your plonked on the sofa. He went to poker last night came home at the crack of dawn and then i started to feel sick! got very tearful as i felt so sick and was so tired to which he passed out snoring! i had to sleep in the spare bed just to get some sleep in the end. .
feeling much more positive as time goes on but I'd love a bit of respite from feeling so crap!

Deff no point in getting dressed unless need to leave the house! Although some relatives do have the tendency to turn up 'visiting' on days like this (which i will dread as will then feel like a right lay about!!)

Got really bad neck pain over the last few days , midwife said to expect back problems so im guessing its all related? anyone else had this and recommend anything?

im starting to worry about what we've done having another baby. Had such a big argument with dh last night. He stropped out (well banging and swearing at me) off out with his brother and stayed at his mums. Leaving me with ds. I dont know how our marriage will survive another baby. We have alot of stresses but starting to slowly sort them out. I though. Nothing seems to make dh happy not even ds. He is so moody and argumentative. I know he is stressed about money and he has to travel most weeks and is tired but everything is left to me even at the w/e. I have to arrange everything and do everything. Ive Talked to him last week trying to expalain how tired i was at the moment and how i was struggling with ds and he acted like he understood and i thought phew maybe it'll be ok. Then all this happened. I do want the baby dont get me wrong, im just really worried about our marriage. Plus the arguing went on in front of ds and he was crying on my lap and i slapped dh because he was really going for me and saying how selfish i am. Ive never ever done that and feel awful. Esp in front of ds was unacceptable. Now i feel like such a crap mother to my ds. Ive spent the whole time hugging him and telling him how much i love him. He's fine.. just know it was so so wrong

ahhh mad4mybaby how awful. Have you actually sat down and talked about how you both feel about another baby? Have you both discussed that your worried about your marriage? (was it your post I just read about not taking your pregnacare on pregancy forum?)

erm yes! So got all that on top of it all. Our marriage has always been up and down. We were both in agreement about this baby and were excited. Im just worried about firstly me coping with ds and a new baby. Mainly because i suffered badly with PND with ds and felt i missed out on so much and ds was very ill and on medication until he was 1. Dh is just so moody at the moment. Doesnt want to hear about how anybody else is feeling and yet he gets away with it. He gets to bugger off and go get drunk yet i have to stay in looking after ds (and obv not get drunk!) Our relationship is just so wierd and its his moods that cause it even though he'll argue otherwise! Sorry i sound like such an old housewife

oh mad4mybaby - please try not to feel bad. I often find that arguing gets worse when the men actually feel bad about things/ i.e. money / their job etc I know my dh often has a defence mechanism to shout at me about things when really he feels bad/let down about himself.

I would just try to take things a day at a time, men aren't particularly great about talking about their real feelings and unfortunatley it's often left to us to be the sympathetic ones when we really want the symapthy ourselves!

I think you need to take things slowly - maybe even massage that old male ego that they need so much - he prob walked out as felt so bad himself - I think sort the other things and the baby issue will be fine

Keep us updated

x

mad - i feel like this sometimes.

dh works nights leaving at 5pm and returning at 3am he then sleeps until 11am then he takes dd2 to playgroup and goes straight to the gym from the gym straight to pick dc's up from school and back home at 3.30pm, by the time he has had tea it is time for him to go to work and he does this 6 nights a week.

may as well be a single parent, i would be better off financially on benefits.

It really annoys me how a man (ok not all) feels he can just go out and leave the woman to get on with things - how dare they.

Sound like your dh has issues that need to be adressed (maybe esteem issues etc) as until these are it sound like he won't be able to move on to other things?

in the past id agree with you about the walking out thing but yesterday he told me i was a F-ing selfish bitch and i later texted him to apoogise and he told me to F off and die. I have never felt such hatred from him. I know it was heat of moment but still...

I dont know how i can make the situation any better. I was going to go back to work in sep when ds starts pre school but now obv pg wont be doing that. He has also just been given a pay rise so should be happy!

Im so sorry to moan on here when people are worrying about the lifes of their unborn babies.

How do you guys feel toward your unborns? I know i love mine but dont feel any connection to it. With ds i was sooo excited and every week looked up how big it was and what bits it had developed. This time just fell abit wierd about it. I know the dh situation isnt helping and i know it'l hopefully change when i have the scan

Agree with Roca that when strained about money and work men really start snapping etc. Are you able to sit and talk things through, could he be is worried as you about coping with another? worried about your PND whilst pressuring himself to be stretching work etc to support your growing family?

I know the pregnacare thing will play on your mind but I think you can only take it now that you have remembered,and you've been taking it prior to this, some people dont know they are pregnant for months and dont take it all.The sofa shouldnt be a problem, you just over exherted yourself at a time when your so stressed i'm sure. Have a sneaky lie down on said sofa with your DS and remember that you are doing your best xxxx

thanks guys. This is the only place anybody listens to me! Im so greatful to you all.

One other thing if anyone can give me advice? Ive had acne since ds was born (21 months) and been on every type of antibiotic, seen 2 diff dermatologist, bought every type of product and nothing will shift it. Tried some chinese herbal thing before got pg and was getting little bit better but now worse again (guessing hormones)can anyone suggest anything? It really gets me down now

mad - here are a few of my thoughts:

1. I totally can understand how you feel with things like that being said to you - my dh is just fab with kids and me a lovely but can flip sometimes and has been known to say things to me like 'shut up or I'll punch you in the face to shut you up' - mmm, nice - he always come back feeling trrible and apologises but often a few weeks later something happens that sets him off again.

TBH I am still trying to work on how to handle theses situaation as, at the time, I can't seem to snap him out of it - if I'm quiet he shouts, if I try to shout back he shouts me down even more. Just wanted to say I know how you feel

1. I wouldn't even let your head go there about worrying whether you are bonding with baby no2 - you so will and I'm sure it's totally normal not to feel any connection at this stage are there are other things to think about. With my first I looked up in books everyday to see what was happnin but didn't ever open one with no 2 as had too much else going on - it's normal

1. I got really back back ance (urgh!) with my DS - and it's kreeping in again now - so again know how you feel - I'm gonna ask the DR when I book in as not sure of answer here

sorry for long post....

thanks roca. As if life isnt stressful enough eh!

ok so how many of you out there run show homes and how many of you spend all day (like me) tidying and just never seem to get there!

A good frind of mine just manages to stay tidy so she can spend her day doing whatever she needs to whereas I have to spend my days trying to get on top of things!

anyone free to pop over for a quick tidy up?

hi Mad4mybaby, how awful for you, i am sending you big [ hugs]. men don't seem to understand how much we do! i hope your husband moods improve

In regard to your acne question, i too have acne, i have had it on and off since i was 18yrs (now 28)
During preganacy they are limited medicines allowed. I am using a lotion called 'Zinyert'
its erythromycin and zinc combined. It is safe to apply during pregnancy. Ask your GP for a prescription. It takes several weeks for a improvment, so hang in there. But it definetly works

Mad4MyBaby - hope this situ gets sorted out. My DH gets a lot of free time - the pub, computer, away with his mates etc, but I don't really mind that much as i enjoy having my space. I also had very bad PND that lasted about 3 years and it really scared him at the changes in me - he found it really difficult to cope and he never wanted any more kids. Now that we're expecting no2 he is thrilled but is already worrying about me developing PND again. I think men have difficulites expressing their real feelings, and often how things are said (by all of us) are misinterpreted. Have you tried to suggest councelling? Touchy subject cos most guys don't want to talk to a stranger about the problems... or else you could try talking to someone professional yourself??