The November 2023-ish baby club!

[Spareincoming]

A new thread, under a new topic!
Welcome all and please tag anyone I’ve not, because I just copied and pasted from the old thread…

@spareincoming @Pinkplantcase @leeanneD11 @LilmissCa @FlyingHighFlyingLow
@Psqueak87
@spanglesj
@BabyBabyBaby123
@Houseonthehills
@GreenAventurine
@reememberly
@Cegbee
@DollyGx
@38andtrying
@JD90
@travellingislife
@mldn
@sb86
@TMI2000

Mine is just about 5 months and varies between 3 and 4 naps. Ideal day he wakes at 7:30, nap 9-10, nap 12:30 - 2, nap 4:30 - 6 then bed around 8. But if he's up at 6:30 with sun or has a short nap it throws it off and he needs another nap and a slightly later bed time.

@Alloveragain3 similar naps here.

I say this as a massive over thinker who once read every article going:
If baby wants an extra nap, they will nap.
If they don't want to nap, go with it. Especially if it's a trend for them.

One of DC1s nursery friends (2 days between them) stopped being at 18mo. DC1 was over a year later. The advice online is very generic, if your baby is an outlier then it will shine through!

Our last nap is sometimes 5pm, I would dearly love to move or drop that. Another nap is around now which lands right in the way of some groups we go to 🫤

Having issues here with my baby still having five (cat) naps a day.

She wakes up at 6am. She then has a nap at around 8am and then wakes up 8:40. She'll then nap again around 10-10:40. She'll then nap again around 12:00-12:40. Followed by another one around 2-2:40 and then another around between 4-4:40 and bedtime between 6-7 as it can take her a while to settle for her bedtime sleep. She'll be SO moody after waking up at 4:30 until her bedtime. She'll then be so difficult to put to sleep for her bedtime sleep.

Sometimes the routine can vary slightly and she'll have her last nap around around 5 where she'll wake up at 5:30 and be really moody. And will want to go back to sleep within the next hour?

Anyone have any advice? Anyone else's baby having around 5 short naps? Thanks

We’re the other way; LO will sleep 7.45pm until 8am, with a feed at 11.30pm but then can go until 2pm without a nap. He’ll have a solid 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap but that’s it until bedtime.
One of the older DC did the same from around 6 months to 11 months so I know it’s within the boundaries of normal but I would love him to have a nap around 11am and 3pm for an hour each time, so I can get stuff done and not worry about disturbing the big sleep to do the school run!

How is everyone doing?
I've been very low today. There are a few personal factors behind it but being on maternity leave amplifies everything for me.

Explained to hubby that I want to get baby used to being away from me (even an hour would be amazing!) and he gave generic reply "baby will get there". I wasn't after general comfort, he didn't mean to be dismissive but it felt like even harder work that I have to explain to him too. He's been good since TBF but I sometimes wish he was better emotional support.

Bad night sleep last night has thrown me off kilter today. I hope you're all keeping it together ok ladies

Sorry to hear that @Thack and hopefully you're feeling more yourself soon x

Mat Leave is a funny old time.

Would your DH (or someone else) be able to take baby so you can have some time to yourself?

I tend to use most of my baby free time sleeping, and then I feel guilty if I sleep too long :/

When baby is with DH it's normally within ten minutes that they wonder into the same room as me because LO is fussy.
He's doing better since I said about it. We're limited at times as DH has a long term health condition that flares up and makes it hard to manage the kids. We don't have anyone around who is reliable for regular visits and we don't want to overstretch the few who we can call on for help.

I'm hopeful for good weaning and use of sippy cup soon, babe is still just breastfed so that's another factor. Still, they can go a few hours without a feed so getting used to being away from me is possible 🤷‍♀️

Mat leave can be amazing in a lot of ways, but also difficult in others. I’m back full time working to be honest, baby is 6 months old. I just felt it was the right time and the extra money helps a ton. Mat pay isn’t the best so I made a decision that caused me a lot of anguish for quite a while but I’ve been back just over a week now and all is going well. The sadness has subsided, and I only have a tiny amount of guilt now as I know I’m ultimately doing this for my kids and little one is lucky enough to spend the time with her grandparents (as am I lucky for no childcare costs).

Exhaustion has kicked up a notch, as she’s sleeping 7pm till 4am every night so I’m starting my days at 4am, and then in to work for 8am with a 3pm finish time, which then sees me sorting three kids out for dinner, bath and bed. I think me and hubby get to sit down about 8pm 🫣😂

Hi folks. I hope everyone is well and @Thack that you are feeling a bit brighter. I totally understand feeling a bit off these days. I wonder if hormones are changing.

I remember some babies here being weaned early for allergy reasons. Did your babies have an allergy test? My child finally has a CMPA diagnosis but is seemingly reacting to all sorts these days so I have cut a lot from my diet but I am not seeing improvements. I wonder if paying for private allergy testing is a sensible option? He is reacting almost instantly to something I have eaten soon before feeding him. His symptoms are getting worse not better so I am open to trying anything at all!

@DollyGx we hired a sleep consultant three weeks ago as baby girl was only sleeping 2 hour chunks at night time. Just before we started with the consultant she was 5 months old and on 3-4 naps per day. Consultant immediately made that 3 naps per day, and within 10 days had us change to two naps per day (3 hour wake windows). It didn’t start great, and I felt awful keeping her awake three hours, but she’s now 6 months and I feel like the 2 naps are finally feeling natural. Both of her naps are supposed to be 90 mins each. But if she has a short first nap I’ll let the second nap go longer.

The help from the sleep consultant has resulted in her going to bed around 7-7.30 and getting up at 7am. She usually wakes for atleast an hour at around 3 or 4. And sometimes an extra short wake at midnight. So it has helped, but I find it really hard not going in to her when she’s awake an hour.

@Nov2023 My first has lots of IgE food allergies (needs epi pen). He had testing at 7 months as he was getting hives and rashes from foods. He had bloods and skin pricks.

Allergy tests are useful for identifying IgE allergies but not for non IgE allergies / sensitivities. There's also a risk of false positives.

So it's best to only test foods baby has had an immediate reaction to i.e. they fed it and had symptoms within an hour.

Thanks @Psqueak87 that’s really interesting! And brilliant thats she’s sleeping so much better for you 👏🏼 I’ve been using the huckleberry app the last couple of months (which I love, sad I know 😬) and that’s still got us on a 3 nap schedule still. We’re very lucky in that she normally goes down between 7.30-8.30 and will sleep right through till 8ish usually, with a few wakes for her dummy. She did have 2 naps the other day there (skipped her middle nap) and they were both longer, so I am thinking of transitioning to 2 longer instead of 3 shorter ones soon, she’ll be 6 months on the 15th. Really did not anticipate how obsessed with naps I would become, you can tell she’s my first and that I don’t have any other kids!! 😅

5 months old here and I'm lucky if I get 2 hour stretches at night 😭 weaning gone well, eating lots of variety ets but every night he still only sleeps 1-2 hour at a time. 3 naps a day with 2-2.5 hr wake windows. Not contact napping anymore but the naps are short still (like 20 - 45 min) unless in pram/car. Means his last nap ends up longer because he's only slept for like an hour total at that point so he's shattered but not sure what i can do about that!

Haven't posted ina. While but have been reading in the background.

Can I ask who you used @Psqueak87 as we are also having a hard time with sleep and naps

@FlyingHighFlyingLow I can relate! Although it's developmentally normal for them to have short naps at this stage, I feel like I'm constantly obsessing over when the next nap is and how to time it for her bed time

@DollyGx Did she just randomly start having longer naps or was it when you reduced the amount of naps the naps lengthened in time? I feel like my whole life is centred around her naps atm

@Thack hope you're feeling better. I've found maternity leave difficult too. My pregnancy wasn't the best and I had to have baby early at 37 weeks. Had her via c section and found the recovery a bit difficult. Then she had CMPA and it took a while before we got the milk sorted to one that suited her. Feel like we were robbed of that newborn 'bubble' they talk about. I also am the default parent as DH has to work all hours as I only get maternity allowance. It's so difficult as when I do ask him to do something for her he'll often come back asking me another 10 questions that will make me think I was better off initially doing it myself to start with. I think I'm also worried in case he doesn't do it right or something happens. It's really hard. It's like a vicious circle of doing too much but also not being able to let go (for various reasons). Feels draining.

Anyone going back to work when baby is 9 months? I'll probably have to go back as maternity allowance will stop in August and we're going to need the money. I feel so anxious about it.

Has anyone else noticed that since their baby has started eating solids they've been feeding less?

@user666555 CMPA baby here also, but I breastfeed so at least I've not had issues with getting the right formula. I know one mum that went for a review with a GP that decided he didn't think was CMPA and refused to prescribe any more dairy free formula! I also ended up with emergency c section. Also default parent. It's driving me nuts because he was so great in the first few weeks, did basically all nappy changes, passed him to me in night etc. Solidly did his equal share. Since going back to work it's like he's suddenly clueless.

I get called to nappy changes as he's rolling away and he doesn't know how to deal with it. I ask him to restock the nappy bag - what should I put in it? How many? I ask him to get up with him so I can get some sleep, he does very willingly. 3 hours later I hear screaming. He doesn't know why he's upset. How much of his breakfast he eat? Didn't give him any as I didn't know what to give him. Was his nap short? He hasn't had one, I didn't know what time to put him down for one. 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 Safe to say that resulted in a bollocking of epic proportions, and he hasn't been that stupid again. He seems to think I have a magic manual in my head where I just know when he needs sleep, to eat, what he can eat. If I give him specific instructions he's great. He'll feed him (should I pass him the food at right temp), bath him (if I run and set it all up), play with him. But even if I suggest he takes him for a walk (which he's very happy to do) he'll ask me where to bloody go.

He's still very into his milk despite going well on solids, but he's underweight from the CMPA. I imagine that will start as he eats more, and I introduce protein etc.

I'm going back to work at 9 months, and have to go back full time. Got nursery booked, going to try use my holiday to go back part time to ease us both in slowly.

That makes him sound bad but genuinely isn't lack of willing. If I ask he jumps to it. But he's so concerned about doing something wrong he just doesn't do anything at all! He's a perfectionist in general though, I wouldn't care if he gave him one of the dinners out the fridge for his breakfast as long as he gave him something so it's not pressure from me! He's also very very anxious of him choking, so he categorically won't feed him if I'm not about. Just takes so much coaching, and he's such a faffer that is quicker to do myself most of the time. Plus he faffs so much the baby gets mad because he's taking so long!

I went back to work a few weeks ago, when Lo was 6 months. Just 2 days a week, in my “fun job.”
It’s done me the world of good.

We’re off to Newcastle tomorrow for Lo’s follow up procedure after February’s surgery; hoping we can be home the same day but no guarantees, so the overnight bags are packed… praying not to stay overnight as we’re in a good sleep routine right now…

@Spareincoming how have you found going back? I'm due to go back in a few months (LO will be 9 months) I'm so nervous 🙃

@Spareincoming good luck with your LO's follow up procedure. Hope it goes well.

@FlyingHighFlyingLow it's hard isn't it? I feel like your relationship can change so much when you've had a baby. It's hard to navigate having a baby, as well as all the hormones post birth as well as the lack of self-care/sleep.

It's the same for me. Similar situation, it's not that DH doesn't care, he does but he just needs coaching in every situation and like your DP is too scared to do most things. But you'll only learn the more you do it. But I guess a part of it is my anxiety of worrying no one else can do it properly.

Also, DP has OCD so that plays a big role in my frustrations as he'll have to go and wash his hands before handling baby whilst she's crying - I suppose cleanliness isn't a bad thing but it can feel tedious when you've got a screaming baby! Like your DP he faffs a lot and I don't have the patience for it 🙈 ...

@user666555 are we married to same person 😅 mine also got ocd regarding cleanliness and germophobia. Always passing him to me to wash his hands etc. Ages to change nappy checking every inch of baby, lots of pee everywhere as he won't change with new nappy underneath old one as 'not clean' and whole procession of lifting baby to clean the mat at regular intervals etc during change to keep it 'clean'. Which obviously pisses baby off more as he gets bigger and less patient and more wriggly.

@user666555 I’ve definitely got some imposter syndrome going on, but I’m enjoying the “being me” time instead of Mammy ALL the time!

Procedure has gone well but there’s mixed opinion as to whether we escape today or tomorrow!

@Spareincoming so glad it's gone well! Fingers crossed out speedy!

@FlyingHighFlyingLow feels like we are 😂. Tell me about it! I also feel like he spends a lot of his time cleaning his car or his other spaces around the house - time that he could be helping me with baby! but he doesn't seem to be able to snap out of it. I guess that's why it's OCD as it's an obsessive compulsion. I guess they can't just 'Snap' out of it.

It's draining though. Feels like we carry the weight of the world.

@Spareincoming a part of me is hoping that I'll feel the same but a part of me feels guilty. How are you coping with working and the night feeds/looking after baby afterwards? Do you feel like you've added more to your plate?

Glad to hear it went well. Hopefully you'll be home sooner rather than later!