The Creme Egg Appreciation Society...memberships expire June 08

[debinaustria]

Good morning all you creme egg lovers ( and those weird ones amongst us who don't appreciate them)

Good luck for all the scans coming up this week, and next.

We had 18 and managed fine but gave up using them as DD didn't get on with them at all and couldn't keep up with B&B washing, our washing and nappies, mu suggestion is stick with what you have at the moment and see if they are what you need and what baby likes, there are so many different choices out there.

Hey CS - I agree with sophie, if you think you are going to need more you can buy them at the time. I used the nappy lady service (which I mentioned early on in the last thread I think) and they recommended 18 stage 1 nappies if you was every other day.

Rolf - happy birthday! Hope you've had a good day.

My spare room is all sorted, so now have to clear some left over junk from the study-nursery in progress, and we'll have a room nice and empty for the baby. Hurrah! And I'm loving my spare room (more than my own bedroom!?!?!?!).

Am also hoping to avoid stitches this time around! Anyone doing perineal massage?? Am hoping it will help, am also looking at ordering a tens machine. Have spent most of today with DS clinging to me and screaming whenever I was out of sight, he has an ear infection and is not happy! Am feeling slightly smothered but am sure he'll be ok soon.

Am with you PPenguin on the pain front! My infected tooth was agony and i'm so glad it got pulled out, it's now healing nicely and I hope that's it on the illness front. Oh well back to removing polystyrene tiles from our ceiling

Can I have a moan?

Got an e-mail the other week from the mum of ds1's best friend from the UK to say they were coming skiing to Austria this half term. Needless to say they hadn't thought to book a skiing holiday with us for some strange reason, anyway I forgave them that and as the resort is only about 50 minutes away we said we'd go over to them today and meet up.Ds1 was so excited to see his friend again after nearly 2 years.

So - this morning, called the hotel to arrange meeting place - they'd left, called the mobiles - no answer, called their rep and he said where they would be skiing. Drove over there , fought for a parking space, and began the search, and we searched and we searched. Couldn't find them anywhere, looked in the restaurants , everywhere, so went to the hotel again, left them a message, kept trying the mobiles - no answer, by this time it was too late for dh and the boys to do any decent skiing so we took them for something to eat whilst we tried the hotel again, still not back so we left a message and came home with a very disappointed boy!

Have since been in contact with my flaky friend who came away without our contact details, left the hotel this morning without their mobiles and was skiing in a different place to where the rep said they'd be. Great eh? I have suggested coming to see us on the train one day, straight through from their resort , and I'd pick them up. They have Friday without ski school and she said she wasn't sure, she'd let me know.

I could cry for my ds, he said on the phone to SIL - he'd had a horrible day.And so have I.

China Surprise

I work a compressed week over 4 days and take a Wednesday off. I find it a real relief as a few times I have had to change my day off to a Friday and usually find that I really flag by the end of the week if I don't get my day off midweek.
It's great for DS to have me at work for 2 days, have a day off, back at work for 2 days and then 2 days off. He's in nursery now and will start school in September but he know's that Wednesdays Mummy takes him to nursey and picks him up and he looks forward to that and the rest of the day is ours to spend together (he's now 3.10).
Going to have to go back FT again after this one is born, and again will take the Wednesday off. It's nice to have a 'break' midweek.

aw deb-s, that's really tight, feel v. soory for you and ds, I bet you were spitting. He must've been so disappointed. Very crap of your 'friends'. sounds like hopping on a train will be too much like hard work for them too Very poor.

Calebsmum, everywhere I searched (nad beleiev me, I did a whole lot of hopeful searching) says pereneal massage only effective for 1st delivery. I nevertheless tried it for ds3 (2nd vbac) and tore from ear to ear, so it certainly wasn't worth the effort as far as I'm (and my undercarriage, what's left of it) are concerned.

And our news - OMG - yesterday did advert for our house, it should be published today or tomorrow. Shit, my house is on the market (and it's a right bloody state, all our ski stuff, all that unpacking, groan, not to mention loads of odds and sods brought back from Milan as dh leaving. How will I get the place looking respectable?????????? Haven't slept a wink due to mind whirring over all the zillions of things I need to do. No doubt poor dh is bored and lonely over there on his own

and now discovered my car seat is not to be used, so that means - working out how on earth you dispose of an old car seat over here, buying new car seat, thus having to buy new pushchair (secretly a bit yippee at that one) as I did use the chassis a lot with the car seat when I popped out. so cheap 4th baby who has loads of stuff now looking ££££. Oh, and working out how to dispose of old pushchair too. No doubt getting rid of that will be mega expensive. sigh

Ernest - wow , on the market already - get decluttering!!
Re the baby stuff - why is it a problem to get rid of old stuff - do they not have skips/recycling places in Switzerland? We have a recycling hof in the village which is open twice a week but you're limited to how much you can take over the year.
What a shame that you have to buy a new pushchair!!!I'm going for Hartan Skater S or Teutonia Spirit S3 and with both you can get the chassis for a Maxi Cosi car seat.

Good luck!!Is your ds3 better btw?

he goes to a neighbour who's a cm 3 am pw and just taken him and he DID NOT want to go. It was so bad. I hated it, but at same time I think soon he might be in KG or school, even full days, and he needs the German, and I need to clean clean clean and tidy and I can't do it with him there, so fought the urge to say Ok he could come back with me but it was so hard

SHit, I've got so much house work to do

"do they not have skips/recycling places in Switzerland? " ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (bitter, hollow laughter)

Well, they do, but only for paper, glas etc. Getting rid of anything more complicated than a newspaper is a nightmare. And costs. Just asked cm neighbour and she looked at me blankly and she - herself swiss - had no idea how to get rid of a car seat, tho she thinks I'm mad for throwing it out (did a thread on it, it's 9 years old but in perfect condition, no accident etc)

gernearl concensus is up to 5 or 6 years fine, oler than that is NOT GOOD.

MIL def bought a baby seat and it's in their loft. So maybe I could have that one, then just need to buy the pushchair, in which case looking at britax verve. I already got 2 big pushchairs (p&T) so want summat as small as poss eg for hols, in this way my pushchair fleet will cover most eventualities

Morning all-

so sorry about flaky friends Debs- bloody useless. Sending you virtual Creme Egg (although if you'd like real ones, email me and I can pop some in the post.)

Tearing??? First time mum here- try not to scare me! Don't think perineal massage will be an option as DH adamant he won't help with the hair removal....

Oh, and very excited because my godfather is coming over this summer to visit our baby...and bringing his two, who I've never met. And he's gettng married next year so might be going to New Zealand for a wedding.....

Oh, and ave bought the cutest little pink dress and coat combo....DH has said that it's the only pink thing I can buy because everyone will buy us pink things when she is born, and he does not want our baby to look like the chavs who shop in Primark with their pink babies in pink pushchairs with pink dummies (and mothers with pink cigarettes hanging out of their mouths)amnd Princess on Board stickers. So I get to buy neutral outfits for my little girl. Woo-hoo [where's the sarcastic icon when you need one???]

Morning all. Thanks for the advice re work/ nappies.
I'm more concerned about asking MIL for more than anything else. She did say to go ahead and ask if it wasn't enough, but she is pretty short of money and I just feel guilty for some reason. Need to get over that one!
Debs - you poor thing. I have "friends" who do things like that. Makes me wonder why I bother with them frankly - but your poor DS - I bet he was really excited and everything
Ernest - good luck with the move - sounds like you need to hire a skip!
Am going to London wtih DM at the end of the month to choose a buggy (have narrowed down to 3) and get some baby stuff. Still trying to resist pink as you never know...
Oh yes, and as for perineal massage, I've also read it only really makes a difference for the first one.
I'd like to have a go, but I don't see how I'll be able to reach by the last month when they say you should start! Have been reading lots about active birth and apparently if you give birth standing/ squatting/ kneeling you have a much lower chance of tearing. Sitting/ lying reduces birth canal size by a third and the gravity pushes the head down, causing extra pressure, wheres if you're vertical than the head comes out more "evenly". Hopefully it'll work, but who knows?

Makes cakes. I suggest you buy the cheapest, tackiest, candy pink layette you can find (keep the receipt) and present it proudly to DH, saying - "this is the look I think we should go for". . And then take it back, without telling him.
I know what you mean about the Princess on Board stickers, but each to their own I guess. I've found myself falling in love with almost every baby thing I see. And I was not maternal at ALL before I got pg (was a happy accident) when even the mention of babies would have me running for the door - how things change!

We don't go in for pink at all, but as you say China, each to their own. DD was given loads of pink when she was born and most of the things that are handed down to her now are pink too. I am too tight to get rid of them but I cringe when I see her wearing her fuchshia pink coat! I'm thinking that as this baby will be our last one I'm going to be much more brutal about just using clothes I like.

I expect all the "pink" mothers would hate my taste in children's clothes. I like spots and stripes, and so does DD. Becuase I can never find a matching pair of socks she doesn't actually realise that socks are supposed to match. If I give her a matching pair she asks for a different one!

Sorry about your flaky friend, Deb. Your poor DS. I bet you felt just awful for him.

Ernest - moving house when pregnant is the pits isn't it? I've done it during 3 pregnancies - never again!

There is no way DH would get involved with hair removal, perineal massage etc. Just the thought of his face if I was to ask him makes me laugh!

Hello

Just had my 21-week scan. All is fine, and I cannot believe it: we are joining the pink brigade! I never thought it would be a girl. (The technician said she was 90% sure it was a girl as couldn't see 'any dangly bits'!) At least it makes names easier: the name needs to begin with D and there are more nice girls' names than boys' names.

Ernest, can't believe it's all suddenly happened so quickly for you! Good luck with the move and with getting things sorted.

Debs, I'm sorry you had a horrible day. I found it really strange living abroad as people seem to think you can travel really easily (someone once suggested I travel 6 hours in the car to see them!) while they don't want to miss a second of their precious holiday. Au contraire, they are on holiday and have time. You have a life and should not be pissed around! Rant over!

China, I think it's a really good idea to use disposables to deal with meconium and then switch to reusables. I did try reusables after the first week but we didn't get on with them, so now I assuage my guilt with Nature nappies, which are 70% biodegradable (unlike the big brands which are 0%). Also the Nature ones don't stink of air fresheners. You can get them in Waitrose and Sainsbury's.

Re tearing and perineal massage, I had an episiotomy last time so all the hours spent massaging my hoo-ha were wasted! It took about three months to heal completely - but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. So I've decided not to worry about stitches and tearing this time.

Oh my god, I'm having a daughter! One day, she may go through all of this.

Hi All,

We had a lovely weekend putting up even more flatpack furniture - but it is all done now. Although the layout I had in mind for the spare room (must start calling it the baby's room!) are going to be wrong as the chest of drawers is a lot smaller in real life! So we can't put stuff away until we get the furniture in the correct places.

Debs, I am sorry about your friends. My parents suffered a similar fate when speaking with friends who were visitng Australia - they wanted my parents to 'pop over' for a BBQ to Fremantle (near Perth) when my parents lived in Sydney! So only a 3 day drive to get there! I don't think people realise how big Australia is!

I am sticking my fingers in my ears when it comes to tearing... as a first time mum, that is too scary to think about!

Morning ladies -

Just dropping in to catch up, as usual am totally staggered by the number of of posts!!

23 weeks tomorrow and have first midwife appointment in the morning - starting to get a bit real now Have been thinking lots about how I'd really like to go for a VBAC this time and am thinking of hiring a doula as I think it'd help me so much if I knew someone I felt comfortable with was going to be there, who knew my rather dramatic history and who how had discussed in detail how I'd like to TRY and do things this time. For instance, consultant has been muttering about continuous monitoring which I really would like avoid as I think if I have any chance at having a VBAC I need to be able to move around and not be strapped to a bed....

anyway, am meeting a lady on Fri to see if we hit if off. I hope I do as she's the only doula in Fife!! if I lived in Edinburgh, I could choose from dozens but hey ho....

anyone else on the thread hoping for VBAC and / or thinking of a doula??

Other question is: can my emloyer change my maternity pay deal without changing my contract?? With DS, I got half pay for 6 months as in my contract, last month (just after I told them I was pg actually!)the Bursar put on a tiny "announcement" on the school intranet that from now on all maternity pay would be SMP. But no one has informed me of this change or suggested my contract has changed. Can they do this???

Anyway, off to eat some spaghetti and pesto while DS naps...mmmmm. INLAWS FROM HELL ARRIVE FOR 6 DAYS 2MORO. If you never hear from me again, I have been arrested for drowning my FIL in a vat of mashed potato...

omg it's official, my house is on the market

who wants to see it? Even better, who wants to buy it?

Hi guys, been skimming the board to try and keep up but you're too busy for me!! Amazed people are even thinking about hair removal, you're all obviously much more ladylike than me, last thing on my mind!!

As for perineal massage, well, I was advised by a lentil-weaving friend to try it last time but never got around to it. Turned out it would have been a complete waste of time. I won't go into the details of the delivery, but suffice it to say that all the perineal massage in the world would not have got those medieval torture implements where they needed to be without assistance from a sharp edge... Still, the episiotomy was much less traumatic than expected, they give you great painkillers afterwards, and the stitches healed up absolutely fine with some tea tree oil baths, so first-timers, don't worry too much!

I'm feeling really low today as yesterday started getting a bit of groin / pubic pain. Had SPD in the final weeks last time and could barely walk or leave the house, knew it might happen again but didn't expect it to kick in this early - how will I cope with a toddler, work etc if it gets bad???? Am seeing mw Weds and will get physio referral then hopefully, but today I'm feeling pretty panicked. Anyone else had SPD before?

BB - you need to check your contract as it may specify in which case I don't think they can change it. However, have just checked my contract and it doesn't specify so it may not be spelt out, in which case it'll be more complicated.

I suspect changing a maternity pay policy to your detriment after you've told them you're pregnant would count as sex discrimination in the eyes of the law. That they've not approached you directly won't help them.
I know the law in Scotland is slightly different from England and Wales, but I think they're on dodgy ground - will do some more research, but I'd talk to CAB for a start.

Basilbrush, the mat. pay thing sounds wrong to me. If you put a thread in the employment section here, there should be HR / legal people who can advise you properly.

BB - further to earlier message.
Have just been looking at this site
It appears that if your mat pay is spelt out in your contract then you would have grounds to challenge under the Equal Pay Act.
If it's not in your contract, then the Sex Discrimination Act should offer you some protection.
You don't say whether you had already discussed your pay with the school before this announcement, but if you can show they were aware of your status this would help prove they're directly discriminating.
My brother is a top employment law barrister and will try to get hold of him to ask (he can be hard to reach) but I'd need more facts before I questioned him, so give me some more detail - and try the legal threads too of course.

Thanks ChinaSurprise

My pay deal is cleary set out in my contract.

However, are you suggesting that if they could prove they officially made this decision before they knew I was pg, then it's OK for them to do it? I'm sure they would just fake some meeting minutes and claim they decided to reduce to SMP two weeks before I told them or something!

Just popping in very quickly before baby mindee wakes up. Just skimmed through last few messages and noticed systemsaddict's worry about SPD.

I'm 21 weeks today and it started this time at around 12 weeks (was shocked too as had it near the end with ds). I've been very worried about work as I have several babies to look after and so lifting all the time, have school run with 4 under 5 year olds so lots of weight on the buggy etc and just found walking agony. Well, after asking for advice on here, I've booked in with an Oestopath locally and am seeing them tomorrow morning. I decided that although I don't have the money, I can't afford to finish work earlier than planned so the money would be an 'investment' to be able to carry the job on. I've reduced my work so that I only have 2 little ones all day instead of 3 (have 2 4 year olds after school aswell) and just hope the oestopath can help.

I really feel for you and all I can do is recommend you skim through some threads in the pregnancy section (advice on things like pillow between knees at night, sitting on carrier bag in car to aid spinning round, keep legs closed most of the time if you can etc etc) and I will let you know how I get on with the oestopath.

Must dash but I'm really going to try and catch up with these messages one day, it's just that there are so many of them, I never seem to get the time lol.

LT x

Oh thanks looney, it helps a lot to know other people are finding ways to manage it! I take my hat off to you, your job is much tougher than mine on that front. Look forward to hearing how you get on with osteopath, I'll certainly consider that as an option.

No, am not saying it would make it ok, as anything which discriminates against you directly or indirectly is covered by the law in some way.
Just saying that it would strengthen your case even more if you could prove this.
But if your mat pay is in your contract then I think they'll struggle to impose this. Basically, they are directly discriminating against you.
And it sounds like no one has spoken to you about the change. They are really handling this terribly and have given you tons of ammunition.
Send me some more details if you like - I did a law degree too and loved studying employment law so am pretty good on this stuff - but my brother is sh*t hot and am sure he can advise better. I think they're screwed, basically!
Questions - when did you tell them you were pregnant? Was it in writing? Was pay/ entitlements discussed? Have they set an appointment for you to do this?
What is the wording of the announcement? Does it say anything about current contracts? Has your contract been renewed since you joined? What's the wording? If you want to PM me your email address we can talk in more detail.

Soz - cross posting - last message to BB