Due April 2023 💕 into the second trimester 🍂🎇

[Cuppasoupmonster]

Welcome back ladies. Here we are, second trimester 🥰

@Chocolat I never got round to getting a monitor, we just make a whatsapp call to each other and prop the phone up in the rare evening we need it. But when dd was tiny she was never further than the next room with the doors open so would have heard anything

Any is good 😊 You shouldn’t really need one until baby is at least over 6 months anyway as all their sleep (including naps) should be in the same room as you until then due to SIDS.

@ancienthouse @Skylark1990 @MamaMenna
thank you all for the advice! That should save some money for now then 😅.

and thanks @PuddingBear i was just going to ask this question, I had no idea that we would have to be with the baby 24/7 for the first 6 months at least (not that I planned to leave it for hours on end, but thought you could put it to bed upstairs and then can come downstairs etc). Thank you so much for that, I feel like I need to do a lot more research being a ftm 😳

@Chocolat I had no idea about this either - I used to regularly put DS to bed and then come downstairs and watch TV. I'm in a different country though, and it sounds like the guidelines vary from place to place. I also used to take lovely long showers while he was asleep in his bassinet.

He only napped on the move or in the sling though...chance to put him down to sleep would be a fine thing.

@Chocolat the current NHS and safe sleep advice is to always be in the same room when your baby is sleeping for 6 months. It reduces the SIDS risk because it's thought that hearing your breathing helps regulate their own breathing and they don't get into such a deep sleep.

It also might just not be practical to leave them alone! DS would not entertain the idea of being left alone and napped on me, mostly, and wanted to be no more than an inch from a boob at all times when sleeping 😂
Some babies are fine being left in a moses basket or somewhere while you potter on aroud them. It really depends.

I really wasn't expecting all the contact napping and not being able to put the baby down before I had DS. But my instincts said to keep him close and that was what he wanted too. I think sometimes you don't know how it will be until you're doing it and some things just come naturally, so don't worry about not knowing everything yet!!

@Chocolat The worry with leaving them before six months is because a baby monitor cannot prevent SIDS; you won’t know if baby has stopped breathing or is in trouble by looking at the screen, that’s why the advice is not before then.

Baby also regulates their breathing and body temperature by you being nearby and again cannot do that if you are not there. It also prevents them going into too deep a sleep, which again is a SIDS risk.

Don’t worry, there’s so much to learn and read about! And there’s lots of time left get 😊

@ancienthouse true that’s a good point, being a ftm I have no idea what it will actually be like, I imagine not as easy as setting a bed time and place 🤣

@PuddingBear yes that makes sense thank you. To be honest I was wondering how I’m ever going to sleep as I feel I’ll have to constantly watch it like a hawk incase anything happens lol so maybe I wouldn’t have actually left it to start with but who knows.

By being close, is it ok for the baby to be in a bassinet near you or does it have to be in breathing distance so it can actually hear you to prevent SIDS?

Thanks for doing that @Cuppasoupmonster! 👏🏼 🙌🏻
(This is my second baby I didn't say on my post.)

Hi @Hannah223344 and @Springblooms08! I hope your back is feeling ok after your fall Hannah, I had similar happen during my first pregnancy and the midwife said the same as the one you spoke to, they are well padded in there which is nice.

I have a private scan booked for Saturday too just to check in on how baby is doing, I've been so poorly with some sort of mutant virus for 8 days I don't feel pregnant at all I just feel unwell! So I want to put my mind at ease and have a little check.

@Chocolat just being in the same room is fine, if it's quiet they'll hear your breathing and if you're doing stuff then that noise will help. I think it's good to get them used to sleeping when there's noise and daylight.
And I think it's fine to leave them for a few minutes to go to the toilet, answer the door etc as long as they're safe. Just not long stretches.

I think with sleep it's best to go in with no expectations! Then if you get a good sleeper or a baby who is happy with a schedule, yay! And if not then at least you were prepared! I had a friend who had two babies before me and neither of them slept through until they were in primary school! So my expectations were pretty low. Even so I still found it really hard, and cosleeping and contact napping and just going with the flow saved my sanity.

@Chocolat The same room is fine 😊

The important thing to remember (and I wish I had known before my first) is that baby sleep isn’t linear. So it doesn’t just get good and stay good, but goes through good and bad patches for the first year at least and usually for the first couple of years.

So you’ll go through periods where baby will sleep maybe 4/5/6 hour stretches, and other periods where they’ll be waking up every hour or two.

I also wish I’d known about the fourth trimester, and that expecting to be able to put your newborn baby down in a bassinet or cot away from you and that they’ll sleep is really unrealistic!

This is a fantastic article to prepare you for the reality of baby sleep!

sarahockwell-smith.com/2017/07/24/the-rollercoaster-of-real-baby-sleep/

@ancienthouse @PuddingBear @MamaMenna yessss let's spread the word about normal and biological infant sleep! It's so important - agree with everything you've said.

@Chocolat I think the thing about being in same room as baby is also to do with the fact that the air actually changes due to our exhales etc, which can help to prevent SIDS so not necessarily about baby being able to hear our breathing - but this would help too I'm sure. The book Sweet Sleep by La Leche League has an excellent chapter on SIDS, I'd recommend it anyway as a fab resource to navigate baby sleep if breastfeeding. Another great book for infant sleep is The Gentle Sleep Book by Sarah Ockwell Smith.

While scary, don't worry too much as SIDS is incredibly rare and even more so if you breastfeed - and having baby sleep in the same room as you for all sleep/naps for the first 6 mo at least will help to protect further.

Safe cosleeping/bedsharing, following the safe sleep seven guidance www.llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven/, also helps to reduce risk of SIDS as being close to mum will help to regulate temperature and breathing, plus encourages easy night feeding. Tiny babies just need a bit of help to human, I like to think haha. They're designed to be close to us, and 100% dependent on us.

Other risks like suffocation or strangulation while sleeping are actually different to SIDS, and of course can be mitigated against by having safe sleep surfaces for baby and keeping baby close. There's loads of information and it's hard to know where to turn/what to trust, but you have plenty of time. And your instincts when baby is here will help!

A great resource is also The Lullaby Trust UK - www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/ xx

Love the list @Cuppasoupmonster thank you! I'm on No4 though 🤣

I'm sure I felt baby last night I was using my doppler and you can hear the movement and when I did I felt it too. 😬

Nothing else since though.

When DD was a baby she slept in her Moses basket for every sleep and nap, I pottered about around her and would have a shower by leaving the basket just outside with the door open etc.

Once or twice I fell asleep with her on the sofa and woke with a fright! From speaking to other mums everyone seems to have that happen at least once, so try not to worry.

We never coslept because she was so tiny and I just knew I wouldn’t sleep properly knowing I could roll onto her, but it’s a personal choice.

Oh and I’m a big fan of swaddling!

Yeah, my daughter was prem and low birth weight so we never coslept until she was over 18 months old (now that’s all we do pretty much). We did have a next-to-me though.

She contact napped for every nap and still contact naps now for most!

www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-11386939/The-50-beautiful-baby-names-backed-science.html

Some name ideas on this article if anyone is still struggling

Hi @Cuppasoupmonster sorry to be a pain - could I be added to the list? First baby, a little boy due April 8th :)

@Gilm0reGirl I need all the help with names I can get!
I saw that list yesterday and I have a reason against every name 🙈
So many names have connotations that go beyond how they sound!
I've been through the top 1000 boys names and don't like any of them... not sure what I'm going to do!

Thanks @Gilm0reGirl ! My DH loves Sophia. It's a family name on my side and I like it too but slightly put off by how apparently popular it is ATM!

@Skylark1990 @ancienthouse @PuddingBear
thank you for your responses and recommendations will definitely have a look at those 🥰. I imagine sleep is one of the most difficult things with a new born generally haha

@ancienthouse I can empathise, I have a friend who called their son baby no name until the absolutely had to name him on the birth certificate, they just couldn't decide on one. I was also a last minute named baby, nobody could agree.

@Skylark1990 Sophia is pretty, I've always liked sophie too but I know so many I couldn't use it really

@Cuppasoupmonster I’m first baby, 6th April. Waiting for 20 week scan to find out sex.

I’m 18 weeks today and starting to stress about not feeling anything even though I can clearly see that that’s in the bounds of normal.

It doesn’t help I have fairly irritable bowels so there’s nearly always something going on in that area already.

New thread! Ottilie just did the OP but will add you on for the next one! Am I supposed to @ before usernames?!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/birth_clubs/4669369-april-2023-were-nearly-half-way

That’s what alerts the other person you’ve tagged them!