August 2021 Babies - Final evictions and the fourth trimester

[BertieBotts]

Time for a new thread! :)

29 gorgeous new babies have joined us already, welcome to the world 💖💙🥳

@Smurf123 - Welcome to the world, baby Sophia 💖
@wimbler - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - Welcome to the world, baby Ebony💖
@Inmypjsagain - Welcome to the world, baby boy💙
@PurplePansy05 - Welcome to the world, baby Leo Alexander 💙
@WinterBabyof89 - Welcome to the world, baby Rosie 💖
@Winecoffeeteamum - Welcome to the world, baby Emily 💖
@Ready2020 - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💖
@Magik01 - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Hoares3 - Welcome to the world, baby Ellis 💙
@Daffodil21 - Welcome to the world, baby Elliot James 💙
@sarah13xx - Welcome to the world, baby Freddie 💙
@MrsB2019x - Welcome to the world, baby Ella💖
@Biscuitcat - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💙
@Whatshouldbemyusername - Welcome to the world, baby Arya-Nyah 💖
@notinthestarsigns - Welcome to the world, baby Erin 💖
@Aaaaa1519 - Welcome to the world, baby Anum 💖
@Angelesque - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Millymay13 - Welcome to the world, baby Ethan Benjamin 💙
@WolfMother326 - Welcome to the world, baby Alasdair William 💙
@BertieBotts - Welcome to the world, baby Alexander 💙
@RandomCatGenerator - Welcome to the world, baby Solomon 💙
@lucyrp - Welcome to the world, baby Evelyn Rose 💖
@HopefulB - Welcome to the world, baby Chloé 💖
@Mmr224 - Welcome to the world, baby Alasdair 💙
@Smallbean27 - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Fran919 - Welcome to the world, baby girl 💖
@Caz1226 - Welcome to the world, baby Dougie 💙
@Ava50x - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@dirtyfries - Welcome to the world, baby Frankie! 💖

Counting down until till they welcome their munchkins:

@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@livingwithbees - EDD 16 August, surprise 💛
@Sheisfee - EDD 19 August, Girl 💖
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, Girl 💖

That should say held dd not help!
I will be asking in laws to do a lateral Flow before they visit and insisting on washed and sanitised hands before holding her. They are going from abroad though so will have been on a plane etc.

@Fran919 he’ll be 6 week tomorrow and was draining the 4oz bottles so is on 5 now and 6 before bed in case he wants extra but he usually just takes 5. The health visitor said to up his bottles a couple of weeks ago

@Fran919 I did that at the start with visitors. Now if I can meet them outside I will and I try not to offer to pass him about unless the person asks but I feel like it’s awkward sometimes not to let them 🙈 some people are still acting like covid doesn’t exist. DH’s dad kissed him the last time and I was freaking out about that! I shared a post on Facebook about not kissing babies so he’ll see it and if he does it again I think il have to say something

I personally don't see the point in wearing masks only whilst holding the baby, it would only make sense if every visitor was wearing them inside at all times. Not convinced about test accuracy either and in any event, we go out too - DH, myself or DS can literally catch something anywhere we go. However, there's categorically no kissing the baby, always washing hands before handling him and no smoking on the day of the visit as per the SIDS prevention advice. The only people that didn't get to hold him were those toddler parents, mostly because their kid is always ill and they've really annoyed me and overstayed.

CS girls, the pain might also be the final stretch of your wound healing, could just be your skin is re-growing and stretching - might feel different, but be totally innocent. xx

But, I will add on the covid note that I was double jabbed in pregnancy and also bf, so DS has some immunity already xx

@PurplePansy05 is that what it says about smoking? My father in law smokes and went for a cigarette the last time while we were only there for a short visit then breathed all over him. I don’t really know what I can say about it when we’re in their house though but surely it’s common sense not to do that while a tiny baby is at your house 🤦🏼‍♀️ It would really put me off ever leaving him there for them to babysit!

The toddler came and proceeded to cough the entire time he was here 😳 every time he did his mum told him off as if he was just pretending but it was constant

@sarah13xx Yes, so the Lullaby Trust and the NHS advise not to smoke in the same room as baby and also to never co-sleep with baby if you're a smoker - this is because they inhale cigarette smoke eg from your clothes and this is known to increase the risk of SIDS. There isn't exactly a difference between baby inhaling it by sleeping in bed next to a smoking parent or sleeping in the arms of someone who has recently smoked. I am also personally dead against that as I suffered for years from smoke allergy caused by exposure to cigarette smoke when I was little. Obviously that was back in the 80's, my parents didn't know what we know now.

I took a screenshot of TLT's advisory leaflet xx

@Fran919 we have been pretty relaxed about people holding him, all the people in our family are double jabbed so I wasn’t too worried about it. The only person who wasn’t vaccinated at all by choice we said we didn’t feel comfortable her seeing a newborn without any jab. She soon booked herself in!

@PurplePansy05 I’m glad you said sex gets better, the two times we’ve done it so far we’re really uncomfortable for me! 😱

In terms of visitors I think I’m in the minority where I wouldn’t mind more visitors! It’s nice to have an adult to talk too rather than a toddler 😂 plus everyone that visits are really helpful, don’t expect me to make tea etc and actually make me one. So I can’t complain.

I’m still really struggling with sleep atm. Last night he cried constantly from 2:30-4:30, got him to sleep and he woke back up after 45 minutes. I had to get DH to take him as I was starting to get really angry. Does that make me a terrible mum! I kept saying take him because I feel like I’m going to hurt him 😭😭

@PurplePansy05 thanks! luckily he went outside to smoke and didn’t actually hold him when he came in but he hadn’t washed his hands and he touched his head while my mother in law was holding him and I could smell the smoke coming off him, it just about filled the room 😷 He doesn’t do it when he comes to our house but my husband is going to have to message in advance before we go again! Realistically I can’t let him stay over there etc while he’s small when he’s going to be going in and out all day to smoke then breathing it all over him. It’s just horrible 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Magik01 that sounds hard going 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’m so relieved every night that he still sleeps big chunks and doesn’t ever make a big issue of going back down, the only time he does is before the first time he goes down but I can totally cope with that when its not during the night. I really would struggle having the patience for it all night 😩 hopefully its short lived and he goes down easier tonight

@Magik01 God no, you're not a terrible mum!! I said to DH to take him away because I'd literally jump out the window otherwise and all sorts of other stuff 🤣 Things you come up with when you're exhausted/sleep deprived/baby is screaming non-stop. Totally forgivable, you're clearly not thinking straight then. No wonder you're getting upset and flustered, you need a break. How about your DH gives him a bottle so you can have 2-3 hrs away from him? I know you have your other DC but 1 is hopefully easier to look after than 2?! Can your DH look after him then?

Anyone else's baby in size 2 nappies? We switched DS a couple of days ago. I am still gettinh over it emotionally 😭🤣 xx

Yes, we're going to switch as soon as the current pack runs out as he fits much better in size 2 now.

DS2 just did a poo on the floor and I totally panicked which made him panic 🙈🙈🙈 I am so crap at potty training!!

@Fran919 Elliot did that too around then, sometimes taking 2oz, sometimes more. We tend to just make a full feed and end up throwing some out. I'd rather him leave some and be satisfied rather than keep phaffing making more. Like @sarah13xx he's on 5oz now for a full feed, occasionally a tad more (also 6 weeks tomorrow).

I have a set few people who are allowed in the house/we go to theirs and they have a hold. I sit well away from everyone at a few group meetings I've been to (book club/slimming world, although I'm quitting SW!). Everyone understands why and don't ask for a hold. I just says 'I'm going to have to be antisocial and sit over here, because of him'. The reason is obvious and everyone has been understanding. The other day at the SW meeting a random small child came up to us and was getting too close and trying to touch him. Her mum was over the other side of the room not paying any attention so I was firm with the child and told her to back off (inwardly I was losing my shit, but outwardly I was polite to her!!). So basically everyone except our select few are kept at a distance, but we don't get the 'select few' to do LFTs or wear masks. You've got to do whatever you're happy with though. Like @PurplePansy05 I was double jabbed in pregnancy, and this probably has made me a little more relaxed because he should have some level of protection. Everyone we know has also been double jabbed too.

@Smurf123 I would definitely do that if they'd been on a plane though.

@PurplePansy05 he's just about to go into size 2s 😱 he's using the last of the 1s up and then he'll change. Every time I see a onesie that's 0-3 months (I STILL haven't put them away) I find myself thinking that I can't believe he won't ever wear that again 😭

@BertieBotts I am not looking forward to potty training!!!!

Size 2 nappies here too! We’ve just switched from pampers to the aldi ones. We’ve actually bought size 3 in them although he’s not moved onto them yet because the size 2s are quite small. They’re only up to 13lb and he’s 11lb 10 or something now so I think he’ll have a week left in the size 2s!

Feel like I’m the only person around me who’s still a bit paranoid about covid but it sounds like most of you are being really cautious too. I’ve been kind of forced into situations that I’m not entirely comfortable with, like my mums friends meeting him last week. It was supposed to be outside but when I got there she had the table all set inside. I questioned why we weren’t outside and she said it was too cold (they have a kind of porch bit outside). So I just went along with that but ended up having to allow them to hold him inside and he started crying while her friend was holding him so I went to make him a bottle (for me to give him obviously). She said hurry hurry then basically snatched the bottle off me and started giving him it. I was so uncomfortable with this. I’m guessing some people are okay about other people feeding their baby but since they said in the hospital we should just stick to DH and I, I’ve taken that very literally and I really don’t want anyone else feeding him now. Certainly not just my mums random friend! I wish I was better at putting my foot down and just outright saying no rather than staying quiet, feeling so uncomfortable then regretting it after 🙈

@PurplePansy05 we've been in size 2s for a while! We put away all his newborn and 0-1 month clothes the other day, I can't believe how quickly he's growing!

@sarah13xx oh that's really not on of your mum's friend, I'd have been so, so annoyed by that - how presumptuous and rude of her. My mum has said a lot of times to me that having children was when she learned to get really good at saying no, but it's hard if you're not used to it isn't it!

@Magik01 not a terrible mum at all! I told Rowan to f- off last night (in a nice-ish tone of voice, but still...) 😳 they're tricky little buggers, babies xx

@sarah13xx I did not know it was a thing to only stick to the parents feeding 🙈 I have accidentally generally been doing this anyway except when grandparents were staying but I didn't realise!

Yep, sworn at mine too before. We're only human!!

@PurplePansy05 he does have him for a few hours in the evening, so I can go to bed early. Even though I’m grateful for the two/sometimes three hours I get then it still doesn’t really make up for the lack of sleep I get at night. And I don’t really get any ME time to wind down- watch what I want to watch etc. The same time I have I spend going to bed early. It’s like a vicious circle at the moment. I know that it doesn’t last forever but it really sucks all the same.

We have been in size 2 nappies for nearly two weeks now! I felt the size 1s were cutting into his legs too much even though they fitted around the waist. Size 2 is much better- currently using Tesco pen brand which I actually really rate.

This week is the first week I will need to take DS1 nursery for 8am, slightly dreading getting two kids out the door for then!!

We’re in size 3 nappies over here 🙈🙈🙈 to be fair the size 2’s do fit but they’re just a bit small and the 3s look so much more comfortable on his thighs that we stuck with them when we accidentally bought the wrong size. We use eco by naty and they’re not cut very tall on the back either. The size 3 start at 4kg which is what he was at birth anyway. Still makes me emotional!

@sarah13xx I’m sorry you had that experience and felt so uncomfortable. It really is so hard to say no to people. My family are in the UK and I’m not, and I’d struggle to handle that sort of situation I think, if it was my gran or someone she knew really well but I didn’t. You tried by querying the inside / outside thing - don’t beat yourself up.

Also, it’s definitely super weird to just assume you could hold and FEED (!!) someone else’s child. People get so weird around babies!

@sarah13xx I think this is a newer recommendation so it probably wouldn't have occurred to your mum's friend. It's about recognising that feeding isn't just a delivery of milk but an actual bonding activity as well so you want to protect that attachment building for the main caregiver or caregivers.

I'm not really feeling anxious about coronavirus but we have only seen two people in person! This is more because our families are abroad though. My other friend wanted to come and see us but she's an antivaxxer and she'd just travelled through 9 countries. I don't actually mind about the vaccination but the travel seemed a bit risky to me. And my other friend wants to come over but she mentioned she'd been in Italy so I made up an excuse that DS2 has a cold so she would wait a week. Don't people think? But we're not doing masks and I mean to ask people to wash hands but with the first friend I forgot. I would also avoid large indoor gatherings at the moment personally.

I hate potty training. I was hoping he'd just do it by himself but he's over 3 now and still wants to be in nappies, even though he's almost too big for size 6 and nowhere sells size 7.

@Magik01 I can’t remember if you’re BF / combi / formula feeding, but can you treat feeding time as your ‘me’ time? That’s advice I was given when I was getting fed up of ‘wasting’ hours each day pumping. I’ve found it helpful - I whack on something DH doesn’t want to watch, put DS in his care, and have some ‘me’ time albeit doing my best impression of a dairy cow. My sister did similar when her child was BF - my nephew would have marathon BF sessions so my sister would put something on Netflix with earphones in or read a book.

I hope that doesn’t sound patronising. I still resent it a bit as it isn’t really me time as I’m so limited in what I can do while pumping. But it has made me feel slightly happier.

What I mean is feeding by every tom dick and sally would have been totally normal for our parents' generation - they didn't see it as disrupting a bonding thing.

Fair point @BertieBotts. Especially as formula seems to have been more common then / BF benefits weren’t necessarily appreciated (or so says my mum).

Sorry I’ve explained that badly: what I mean is that if formula was more common, then bottles would be the norm. Whereas most of my friends have BF / tried very hard to BF.

Maybe that’s bollocks, but as I say, that was my mum’s recollection - everyone FF because BF not as lauded.

@biscuitcat I know, I thought so! My sister was there and said she could tell how much I didn’t want her to feed him and was trying to help avoid that being the case but she still just grabbed the bottle and I was stood like a spare part just wanting to feed my own child 🙄 I really need to get better at saying no!

@BertieBotts yeah I think that’s it. She’s a very forward person anyway and didn’t even think to ask if I wanted him back 🙈

@Daffodil21 I think as others have said it’s just meant to be for a bonding thing, so they get used to it being the same people every time but I’ve seen pictures of my friends baby and she is being fed by a different visitor in every photo so I don’t think everyone is aware of it or sticks to it 🙈

@RandomCatGenerator they do! Everyone’s an expert I think 🙄 I just always view situations before they arise as ‘well I wouldn’t ever dream of doing that so no one else will’ (kissing the baby, feeding the baby, smoking while the baby is visiting, not giving the baby back etc). Yet time and time again it seems other people don’t think the same way I do 🙈 It’s like I think if I outright say ‘no’ it will look like I’m just being rude when people have come with presents etc but you also can’t just sit back and allow people to do whatever they want when it makes you so uncomfortable