August 2021 Babies - Final evictions and the fourth trimester

[BertieBotts]

Time for a new thread! :)

29 gorgeous new babies have joined us already, welcome to the world 💖💙🥳

@Smurf123 - Welcome to the world, baby Sophia 💖
@wimbler - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - Welcome to the world, baby Ebony💖
@Inmypjsagain - Welcome to the world, baby boy💙
@PurplePansy05 - Welcome to the world, baby Leo Alexander 💙
@WinterBabyof89 - Welcome to the world, baby Rosie 💖
@Winecoffeeteamum - Welcome to the world, baby Emily 💖
@Ready2020 - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💖
@Magik01 - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Hoares3 - Welcome to the world, baby Ellis 💙
@Daffodil21 - Welcome to the world, baby Elliot James 💙
@sarah13xx - Welcome to the world, baby Freddie 💙
@MrsB2019x - Welcome to the world, baby Ella💖
@Biscuitcat - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💙
@Whatshouldbemyusername - Welcome to the world, baby Arya-Nyah 💖
@notinthestarsigns - Welcome to the world, baby Erin 💖
@Aaaaa1519 - Welcome to the world, baby Anum 💖
@Angelesque - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Millymay13 - Welcome to the world, baby Ethan Benjamin 💙
@WolfMother326 - Welcome to the world, baby Alasdair William 💙
@BertieBotts - Welcome to the world, baby Alexander 💙
@RandomCatGenerator - Welcome to the world, baby Solomon 💙
@lucyrp - Welcome to the world, baby Evelyn Rose 💖
@HopefulB - Welcome to the world, baby Chloé 💖
@Mmr224 - Welcome to the world, baby Alasdair 💙
@Smallbean27 - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Fran919 - Welcome to the world, baby girl 💖
@Caz1226 - Welcome to the world, baby Dougie 💙
@Ava50x - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@dirtyfries - Welcome to the world, baby Frankie! 💖

Counting down until till they welcome their munchkins:

@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@livingwithbees - EDD 16 August, surprise 💛
@Sheisfee - EDD 19 August, Girl 💖
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, Girl 💖

Yes exactly. My mum said hardly anyone breastfed when she had us but she did anyway. But only for a short time and then moved onto bottle feeding as that was the norm I suppose.

My grandma on my mum's side was actually told that she wouldn't be breastfeeding and they bound her breasts so that the milk would dry up and fed her babies formula! My other granny breastfed and was so pleased to see me doing it because she said she'd loved it. It's weird how their experiences were so different. They have both passed away now sadly.

I don't mind people kissing babies as long as they don't have a cold or a cold sore. But I think I'm unusual about that. I'm also fairly relaxed about smoking because I think on balance the relationship with the relative who happens to be a smoker is a bigger positive than the risk of a very small amount of second hand smoke exposure. But I wouldn't want anyone smoking in the same room or holding the baby straight after smoking. We asked people to wait half an hour and to smoke outside, and we always minimised visits to the in-laws when FIL was alive, but to be honest I just wish we'd had more time with him, that seems more important to me than worrying about smoke for the short time we'd be there considering how much adults smoked around children in the 80s/90s! Our kids have amazingly clean air compared to back then. But everyone has their own boundaries and comfort level and it's important to be aware of that and to let people know if theirs isn't quite matching yours. Most people won't be offended :)

@Smurf123 I never answered your serving car seat question sorry. It's a bit more complicated than just being tested at 30mph or not, but the cozy n safe ones are just generic seats from a Chinese factory with each different company's covers on them whereas Babyauto are a company in Spain that make their own seats which means they tend to be tested to different standards rather than just being made to meet the legal criteria. But I don't know what tests Babyauto actually run on their seats as they don't tend to publish this kind of info. They use the crash test track at a local university which is probably a good sign that they are running more than the standard tests but I don't know for sure. But I'd trust them more highly than cozy n safe anyway.

@RandomCatGenerator doesn’t sound patronising at all don’t worry, I appreciate the tip! I would love to count feeding time as me time (I’m BFing by the way) but I have another son who’s nearly three so unfortunately I can’t put what I want on the TV while I’m feeding as I need to try and keep him occupied. 😂 How is the night nanny thing going? I bed the uninterrupted sleep is glorious!!

I don’t want to turn this into a potty train thread but just one question @BertieBotts . I’ve heard it’s pointless starting potty training if the kid doesn’t seem ready. DS1 is three next month and is showing no signs of being ready at all, rarely tells us when he’s done a poo etc etc. Obviously you’ve potty trained before- did you find just waiting helped? Obviously I don’t want to force the matter as I feel like it will be more trouble than it’s worth, and not sure I have the energy for it anyway at the minute!

Anyone else up in the 3/4am feeding club?? I've been feeding for over an hour and he's still going 🙈 why is this child not asleep!!

Interesting to hear about what everyone's relatives did in the past. I'm a FF baby too, and so is DH. My mum was definitely FF. Not sure about other family members.

Is anyone on here with 2 or more DCs with a gap of say 4 yrs? Just my 4am thoughts, wondering what this stage feels like with one DC being a newborn and the other one in school. xx

@PurplePansy05 yep! But now off to sleep hopefully. He's sleepy in his crib but he's a bit fidgety so may need another wind (I hate winding!).

I always thought our parents would mostly have been BF, and would have mostly BF us but I think I may be wrong in this?

@Daffodil21 I've just put him in his N2M, but he's wriggling away and chatting to himself loads, it's so hard not to engage with him, but I'm staying strong 🙈

I'm not actually so sure. I think there was a period of time when FF was very heavily marketed and perhaps more popular than BF? xx

FFS. He wouldn't settle. BF again. I just want some sleep, how the hell is he still hungry, he's never like this at this time. xx

@PurplePansy05 hope he's settling a bit now..

I'm currently holding DD after the second boob feed. She was still unsettled after first boob feed but I think it's because I did the laid down feeding position. It's just not as good as it was. The laid back position makes it easier to wind plus I get a cuddle after.

She's currently giggling in her sleep. Cute but freaky all at once.

I think I'm going to ask the Dr for medication for my restless legs. These days DD feed once a night so I could get 3 hours sleep on each side but I just can't.

Oh I have another OH moan about my l not using initiative. DD woke up at 11pm for a nappy change but apparently didn't want her bottles. She woke up at 1am or OH woke her up and her decided to feed her the bottle before bringing her up to me. She was wide awake. Why didn't he just bring her up and let me feed her. She would have fallen asleep on me rather than need walked to sleep! Plus bottle could be kept to the next day. Sigh.

@PurplePansy05 I find it easy not to interact in the middle of the night as I'm so desperate to go back to bed 😂

@BertieBotts thanks do much! I'll definitely look at the baby auto one instead. I'd just heard of the cosy n safe brand but think I'll start clear of it!

@Magik01 ds was just over 2.5 when I toilet trained him. He wasn't really showing signs of being ready but his nappy would be dry for longish periods. We were isolating as close contacts for 14 days at the time (last Oct) so I decided just to go for it and see. We kept a potty in the living room cocomelon potty songs on TV and mini smarties. I just put him on it every 20 mins or so to begin with and within a couple of days he would pee. Quickly realised he would go longer like an hour or 2. Ds still rarely asks to go only recently saying it more but he doesn't have accidents he would just hold on for hours until toilet time. But he was trained minus the very odd accident after a week or so as he went back to creche in pants when the 2 weeks isolation was up.
For poos he was a bit scared of it. We read lots of books on t the toilet to get him to relax and distracted enough to do it. The smyths toys catalogue works wonders!
Night time wise we let him decide himself when he was ready. One night he said he didn't want the night time pants and he's been dry at night ever since. That was may /June time.

He didn't settle! He hsd two breasts, 30 mins each, around 40ml of my expressed BM from DH, then went back on the breast for a bit, I put him down, wide awake. 45 mins later still not asleep, an hour later hungry. He did feed a lot, I could feel the flow through my breasts, I expressed well simultaneously and he hsd milk on his happy milk drunk face when he looked asleep, but tricked me. I had one of those take him away from me moments and told DH to take him and give him a bottle. Only just woke up (DH has a day off) and I'm still exhausted. Lovely. xx

@PurplePansy05 I think they go through a growth spurt around 6/7 week mark so it would make sense him being on the boob constantly! That paired with their first slap around about the same time. Hope your okay, take it easy today.

@Smurf123 I probably missed a trick when I was pregnant and DH had covid so we had to isolate for 10 days! The only problem is now he goes nursery two days a week so there isn’t a full week I can concentrate on it, plus being exhausted with DS2 it probably isn’t the right time as I can see myself getting frustrated 😂 DS1 cut out the bottle and dummy himself, so I was kind of counting on him doing the same for potty training lol. He’s recently moved to the older kids room at nursery where most are toilet trained, so hopefully he will try and follow suit!

@Magik01 I'm in a vile mood today. So tired, DH haven't even thought to make me breakfast, I am starving. 10.36, I've not eaten since like 7pm last night and fed him loads. Just told him off that he's a selfish idiot. DS obviously glued to me, again. It's a lovely day and I'd like to go for a walk but instead I'm glued to the sofa, watching MAFS and hangry beyond belief. It's shit. xx

@PurplePansy05 men don’t think about us eating do they. I made a veggie chilli yesterday for us all (a rapid dish from hello fresh else no chance I would have had time). Isaac obviously woke up and cried when it was ready so DH picked him up sat down with him and DS threw himself backwards and DH wasn’t paying attention and he nearly smacked his head on the table!! So I was like give him here, I don’t trust you to eat and hold baby at the same time after that and he said “I told you I couldn’t do it anyway”!

After he finished his food he obviously got up and walked off, never thought that maybe I would like to eat my tea without a baby in my arms as well. 🙄

Tell your DH to get cooking ASAP!!

@PurplePansy05 tell him!! Ask him to make you something (and a tea/coffee!). You obviously shouldn't have to ask, but it looks like you're going to have to. Maybe you should have a chat with him and just explain how relentless it is for you and how it would be nice if he would just do something to help you without being asked.

It looks like it's a lovely day here, but it's 7 deg! We had a busy week last week so planning on doing FA today! I'm already caught up on MAFS (I'm addicted!) so have to find something else to watch!

@Magik01 Honestly I feel completely clueless about potty training, totally hate it, never know what I'm doing.

DS1 had to be out of nappies for nursery and I kept trying but no dice until the Christmas before he was due to start (October birthday, so 3 and a bit) when one day DH just said "Shall we do a wee on the toilet for Mummy?" and he said yes and never used a nappy for wees again Poos were a whole different story.

DS2 now we are in Germany their whole approach is just wait until the child is ready, as they start school later (6/7) it's not such a rush and they say if the child isn't happily using the toilet by the time they are 6 then they'd be looking into medical causes. It's very much seen as a thing that happens by itself here. So we keep offering the choice (and so does nursery) but he usually wants to wear nappies.

Mine is generally good at the food thing, although it's not much of an issue here as he's bottle fed. One time he was about to pop out for an hour or two at lunchtime (I think I ranted on here at the time) and I asked him to wait half an hour so I could eat my lunch in peace for once. It just didn't occur to him, but I just said because then hopefully he'll think next time!!! So far so good!

@Smurf123 The other one is Joie Bold but it doesn't rear face either.

@PurplePansy05 I'm also stuck under a cluster feeding DD watching MAFS! Even a 20min drive around hasn't worked today.

DH is at work but likes to text me what he thinks are helpful messages like "make sure you're eating and looking after yourself" "remember to sleep when she sleeps". Makes me want to throw my phone across the room. I'd love to be doing these things, he's just reminding me I can't

Or actually Maxi Cosi Beryl might be worth a look.... RF to 13kg, FF to 25kg. There are a few issues with it compared to others. The harness doesn't go up that high so it will only get you past 18kg by a little way, but it might be enough for you. Would recommend a fit check - if you have 2 more headrest positions then that should last your eldest another year. It got a Which Don't Buy because with the 23kg dummy, the dummy's head poked out the top and crashed into the "car door" in the crash test. But again if you're not going to use it right until your child's head is poking out, then it's irrelevant.

It is expensive compared to other 25kg seats. It doesn't convert to a booster. The rear facing limit is 13kg rather than 18kg. But that might be enough - 13kg is about 2-2.5 years for a lot of children. It does get a better frontal crash score than any other 25kg forward facing seat.

@Magik01 ah - I’m sorry, that’s so difficult. I don’t know how you manage two such small children - you’re very impressive for not going mad with tiredness with lack of time.

The night nanny is doing two nights a week. I’ve found it very very hard to give him to someone else all night even though it’s someone I know is totally trustworthy and excellent with babies. I cried quite a lot the first night so not feeling the benefit yet…DH is though which is very good as we are sharing nights 50/50 even though he’s back at work part time.

@PurplePansy05 oh that's so inconsiderate of him - as Daff said, you just shouldn't have to ask.

On the MAFS note, if anyone is looking for another series, the Australian Bachelor (also on channel 4) is incredible! Highly recommended, and there are 8 series!

He would never think to pre-make lunch for both of us before he goes to work, but if he's WFH, I make lunch for both of us. I've just realised that. Also we had homemade soup planned for today and tomorrow, guess what I didn't have time to make it and he obviously hasn't done it even though I've already reminded him today. So looks like I'm not eating lunch today either. To make it better, we have baby sensory class in the afternoon so looks like I won't eat till 5pm if I'm lucky.

He now said he gave DS more formula this morning instead of bringing him to me and he knows to never do it as it somehow puts DS out of his routine. Don't know why, but it does. Of course this is exactly what's happened.

I've had enough of it, handed him the screaming baby after feeding him for another hour and I'm going to bugger off for a walk on my own. He's such an idiot!!!

@dirtyfries I hear you! It might be unintentional but all it rubs salt into an open wound, it's just not on. Perhaps he needs to be told that for you to do these things, he needs to step up and do more so you can do that, indeed?

PS - I'm on MAFS Australia season 6. So mucb drama. Recommend if you need more trash to binge watch xx

@PurplePansy05 get him in that kitchen making that soup!!! Why isn't he??! There is literally no excuse.

MAFS Australia series 6 is so good!! Enjoy!