Aug 2021 - half way there!

[HopefulB]

@wimbler - EDD 29 July, surprise 💛
@Champson - EDD 22 August (but really June/July), TBC 💖💖💖
@coffeeandrainbows1- EDD 4 August (but most likely July), Boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - EDD 5 August (but having C-section at 39 weeks, so really July), Girl 💖
@Smurf123 - EDD 5 August (but likely to be July) 💛
@WhatEvenIsSleep - EDD 2 August, Boy 💙
@Smushty14 - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Rattyclife - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@Biscuitcat - EDD 10 August, surprise 💛
@ElonaWise - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@Runnergirl123 - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@PurplePansy05 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@Srtdr - EDD 12 August, surprise 💛
@Daffodil21 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@Inmypjsagain - EDD ???, Boy 💙
@BananaHammock23 - EDD 13 August, surprise 💛
@MrsB2019x - EDD 13 August, Girl 💖
@Magik01 - EDD 13 August, Boy 💙
@Carefree1 - EDD 15 August, Girl 💖
@DressyGerbera - EDD 15 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, undecided 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, want to know! 💛
@WolfMother326 - EDD 17 August, surprise 💛
@Caz1226 - EDD 17 August, Boy 💙
@Lille4 - EDD 17 August, TBC 💛
@Redskinsucks - EDD 17 August, TBC 💛
@RockyRockyRoad - EDD 18 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@WatermelonKisses - EDD 20 August, surprise 💛
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@Millymay13 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Whatshouldbemyusername - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August, TBC 💛
@LaceyMermaid - EDD 24 August, TBC 💛
@Fran919 - EDD 25 August, surprise 💛
@northernsquirrel - EDD 26 August, surprise 💛
@LyraShaeLilly - EDD 27 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, TBC 💛
@diamante11 - EDD 29 August, Girl 💖
@HopefulB - EDD 29 August, TBC 💛
@CountryGirl84 - EDD 29 August, TBC 💛

Ps @Ready2020 are you sure you need to decide it before birth? Under the terms of mine I can give notice that I’m ending my maternity leave at any point during the period (I think it’s 8 weeks notice tho)

It sounds like you’re quite relived @Daffodil21 - good for you for standing for what you feel is right. Like others have said, it’s probably worth a conversation with Acas to get some advice on whether or not your exit constitutes constructive dismissal.

I work in construction and infrastructure, but admittedly haven’t told HR yet for various reasons, but will be doing so shortly (my line manager knows but that’s it). I’ll let you know what my experience is, although I imagine they will feel it’s reasonable for me to still go to site xx

@Daffodil21 On the basis of what you've just described, you may have a case. However, I totally understand that's not your main focus right now and the stress of it may be something you are trying to avoid. Having said that, I'd at the very least speak to ACAS or get in touch with an employment solicitor. There's room for you to threaten proceedings and get a settlement agreement with them if you are advised well, just a thought. xx

Oh another thought @Daffodil21, if ACAS etc. was a route you were thinking of going down - I believed quite a few home insurance policies have legal cover which can be used in these types of situation?

Thanks for all your help and suggestions! I wasn't intending on speaking to ACAS at all, but maybe I should. I don't know, I'll speak to DH and see what he think about it. I'm not sure it would be worth it and not sure what the outcome could be?

@Carefree1 I hope they don't make you if you're not happy to!

@Carefree1 I would say you have a case for unfair treatment that otherwise probably wouldn’t have emerged if you weren’t pregnant. I would defo speak to ACAS, however I know it’s not the forefront of your mind right now. Just think though, if they were threatened with court on the grounds of discrimination they would probably settle outside and a few extra Bob would soften the blow when you have a newborn as well. Glad your feeling like a weight is off your shoulders though!

@Daffodil21 hope you are ok - this tool on the gov uk website is really helpful in calculating how much your employer will pay you. Mat pay is based off your pay over the 2 months before your 25th week of pregnancy
www.gov.uk/maternity-paternity-calculator if you put in your dates and pay amounts it should calculate the breakdown of SMP.

Thanks for the recommendations, everyone. Going to check them all out!
Gosh, its like a minefield out there- far too many options available!
Just thought I'd update- I had a midwife appt (my 1st one this pregnancy) a couple of days ago and I literally cried to the midwife about how shit i'm feeling, too exhausted to function, dizzy, etc. She was very kind and said she'll take bloods to investigate. Anyway she just called me back to tell me that my Ferritin and B12 are extremely low so thats probably why i'm feeling this way. I'm hugely relieved, sitting here with a stupid smile on my face!
I feel so validated. At least I know i'm not crazy and not making it up!

I think I'm going to mull it over at the weekend. If he really goes for me in my review (quite likely with his personality) then I may consider a phone call at least. But at the same time I just want a quiet life!!

@wimbler thanks for this, it seems to be as expected, so let's hope so!!

@BertieBotts ‘‘twas me asking about the IKEA bed! Thank you- I’m definitely going to look into that!

@Ava50x glad you’ve got some resolution, guess you’ll be on iron now- don’t forget to up your fibre intake and iron is horrible for your digestion!

@Daffodil21 ohhhh what a day (I’ll be honest I’ve thought about resigning because working when you feel crap is hard but I have 4 months notice so figure no point!) but hope you’re ok. Sounds very stressful and like it escalated quite quickly. I thought of a potential settlement too when I read your post and I also think it would be worth a call to acas. How long is your notice period? Hope the review goes well tomorrow. Sounds like you’ve been making notes incase you need a record of events which is a good idea. I don’t understand though, I appreciate things are opening up but when so many of us have successfully worked from home for so long why employers are so keen to pregnant women back in the office/work environment. Fair enough if the woman is comfortable but chances are by the time we have some semblance of normality we’ll all be third trimester, so at a higher risk-why make someone come back for 2 months or so?!

Aargh can't seem to trust my own judgement at the moment!

First on Tuesday DS2 and I were in a really minor tram crash, more of a bump really, so gentle, nobody even fell over and DS2 was sat on a normal tram seat and didn't move or even notice anything had happened. Was less violent than an emergency stop. So I initially thought nah I don't need to get checked out, then a little nagging voice was like "But you probably should though..." and I didn't want to go all the way up to hospital to be turned away so I phoned them. The doctor there said as long as I didn't fall out of the seat or hit anything and I haven't had any bleeding then not to worry and it can wait until my next appointment.

Then we kept DS2 off nursery today because he's been a bit under the weather, and I woke up with a bit of a cough, so I phoned my doctor this morning (corona rules) and they rearranged my appointment for next week. OK great. So I wasn't overreacting for that one.

But now I have just noticed DS2 has one red cheek and now I'm wondering if it's slapped cheek syndrome, because if it is then I am supposed to seek medical advice (for myself) about that! But I feel absolutely ridiculous because he's probably just teething. He always gets a red hot cheek when he's teething and he is getting molars through at the moment. But on the other hand... he is at nursery and he has been run down the last 24-48 hours.

I'm going to phone them in the morning and ask just in case. I just wish I didn't feel like I was overreacting about every little thing!

Your employer sound awful @Daffodil21, hope it's resolved for you with the least amount of stress. It's the last thing you need.

Sorry to hear you're having a time of it @BertieBotts - I don't think you're overreacting, it's always sensible to ask a medical professional, especially with two little ones already to look after. Glad the tram accident was minor x

@BertieBotts sounds like you’re having a week of it! You come across so eminently reasonable on here that I can’t imagine you overreacting! I don’t know much about slapped cheek syndrome so looked at the nhs website, has he got a temperature too? I think you’re completely justified in calling the Dr (or an equivalent of 101?). Hopefully he’s teething and he feels better soon, and that you do too 💐

@Daffodil21 glad you’re feeling ok, as others have said I think it would be worth looking at if situation fits constructive dismissal.

@LaceyMermaid glad your GP was understanding too, try not to feel guilty - if you were to catch COVID with Respi problems & pregnancy the impact on your colleagues could be much worse!

Re leave, I have my whole AL allowance to use before ML, so will be taking all of August as AL, with a plan to start ML on 30th. If baby arrives early then my AL will be carried over (but otherwise I would not be allowed). I’m planning on taking 9months ML, OH will also take month 1 as a mix of carryover leave and paternity. In June I’ll head back to work and OH will take over baby care for last 3months. I figured by 9months we’d have weaned so I was a good time to handover! We’re fortunate that both our employers have reasonable leave policies and it doesn’t make a huge difference to us who is off salary wise.

I hope your review goes well and that they’re not an arse @Daffodil21

Oh @BertieBotts what a day of it! I hope all feel better soon! How was the video? I’ve been thinking about combi feeding to be honest as I really want DH to be able to feed her. If it’s not feasible, then I’d be a formula mum I think.

Interesting about leave @HopefulB, I need to see what my work insist. I’m hoping they’ll let me carry over/buyback otherwise I’ll be off of work from July and bored stiff xx

@Daffodil21 your workplace sounds terrible , I'm so sorry there are people who treat pregnant women this way, hope you are taking notes and communicating only in writing for records.

@Ava50x glad you now how a reason for your tiredness and it can be treated.

@K2a0t1i5e what happened with your bloods, was your tiredness covid or iron related?

DH doesn't get any paternity pay and my mat pay is very good and can be averaged out over 12 months so that's what I will be doing as what ever leave DH gets will only be 2 weeks paternity at £150 pw and then unpaid leave or A/L. We both earn the same and I would like all 12 months to myself, plus 2 months A/L at full pay. This is the most cost effective way for us!! I realise I am very lucky.

Somebody mentioned about vitamin D and I was reading some guidelines that stated it should be taken throughout pregnancy and breast -feeding and also given to baby until they are 4 years old!! I didn't know this but those of you who have other children may have so just wanted to share for the FTM.

So we've had a bit of luck on the house front. Our original house we offered on has definitely gone. Such time wasters!

However my mum noticed an advert on the local Facebook group for a house for sale fairly near the other one. Same price and same square footage of house. Long story short we viewed it and offered and it's now ours!

It's very much a second choice house. The kitchen is pretty small and separate to the dining table that is part of the lounge. I really wanted a kitchen diner so I can keep an eye on baby when cooking. But we're in no position to be fussy. No ensuite either but that was an added extra we weren't expecting from the other house.

The garden is much smaller and we're right next to the road but again not much we can do with our tight time frame.

We may have to stay a couple of weeks with my mum but we have a house!

@LyraShaeLilly Had bloods done and just waiting on the results they think it will just be Covid related.

@HopefulB I also have to use all my AL before I go on mat leave but I'm not allowed to carry any over not even if I go into labour first. I've booked two weeks AL from 38-40 weeks and then starting my mat leave at 40 weeks but I presume baby will come early in which case I'll lose out on money which is a bit rubbish xx

Does anybody have a type 1 student loan (pre 2012) just wondering how payments would work as my mat pay will just be below the threshold for re-payments but as it's over 2 tax years, do I need to tell S/L or will works payroll do it as I don't think there are refunds on S/L like on there are with tax if you overpay. I currently repay about £250 per month which I don't want to come out of my mat pay in error if I cant claim back?

@lucyrp that seems so unfair - I just had a quick Google and it seems as though your employers may be on dodgy ground with a policy like that, it could be worth pushing back (this was the useful link I found: pregnantthenscrewed.com/maternity-leave-holidays-accrued/)

@LyraShaeLilly I don't know specifically how it works for maternity pay so definitely worth checking with SLC to ensure you don't accidentally overpay. I had a slightly different situation when I left teaching to do a bursaried training course (didn't have to make loan repayments as it wasn't taxable income) a few years ago, where it happened automatically but I think leaving my employer was a factor in that too so not directly comparable. SLC are much better at taking money than giving it back!!

Currently wide awake, woke up thirsty, needing the toilet and boiling hot also to find baby is having a party in my belly currently 😴

For anyone with employment troubles or questions it might be worth contacting:

pregnantthenscrewed.com/ x

I still haven't heard anything since I handed in my notice yesterday. He was out of the office most of the day though. Maybe it's the 'calm' before the storm!

@Inmypjsagain thankfully my notice period is just a month! He's not insisting I go back into the office, he agreed I 'probably wouldn't' until back after Mat leave. But he is making me work out of the home, on a construction site. It's a really small project too so I really don't know how social distancing will work. Plus I would have to use shared toilet facilities - site toilets are always gross! He even tried to dispute this saying the visit should only last 20-30 minutes. Even if that were the case, it's still 1.5 hours away. I couldn't avoid the bathroom for 3.5 hours if I weren't pregnant!!

Thanks for the links everyone. I'm not going to contact anyone today, I'm just going to deal with the review and think about it over the weekend.

@BertieBotts doesn't sound like you were overreaching at all. It's always better to call and check than leave it. You'd only be worrying if you did

@lucyrp hope you managed to get some sleep!!!