Aug 2021 - half way there!

[HopefulB]

@wimbler - EDD 29 July, surprise 💛
@Champson - EDD 22 August (but really June/July), TBC 💖💖💖
@coffeeandrainbows1- EDD 4 August (but most likely July), Boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - EDD 5 August (but having C-section at 39 weeks, so really July), Girl 💖
@Smurf123 - EDD 5 August (but likely to be July) 💛
@WhatEvenIsSleep - EDD 2 August, Boy 💙
@Smushty14 - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Rattyclife - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@Biscuitcat - EDD 10 August, surprise 💛
@ElonaWise - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@Runnergirl123 - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@PurplePansy05 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@Srtdr - EDD 12 August, surprise 💛
@Daffodil21 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@Inmypjsagain - EDD ???, Boy 💙
@BananaHammock23 - EDD 13 August, surprise 💛
@MrsB2019x - EDD 13 August, Girl 💖
@Magik01 - EDD 13 August, Boy 💙
@Carefree1 - EDD 15 August, Girl 💖
@DressyGerbera - EDD 15 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, undecided 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, want to know! 💛
@WolfMother326 - EDD 17 August, surprise 💛
@Caz1226 - EDD 17 August, Boy 💙
@Lille4 - EDD 17 August, TBC 💛
@Redskinsucks - EDD 17 August, TBC 💛
@RockyRockyRoad - EDD 18 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@WatermelonKisses - EDD 20 August, surprise 💛
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@Millymay13 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Whatshouldbemyusername - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August, TBC 💛
@LaceyMermaid - EDD 24 August, TBC 💛
@Fran919 - EDD 25 August, surprise 💛
@northernsquirrel - EDD 26 August, surprise 💛
@LyraShaeLilly - EDD 27 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, TBC 💛
@diamante11 - EDD 29 August, Girl 💖
@HopefulB - EDD 29 August, TBC 💛
@CountryGirl84 - EDD 29 August, TBC 💛

Hi @Dia12 - I'm in a similar position to you with changing jobs during pregnancy. I think we may have talked about this before but not sure. I recently was interviewed for and accepted a job at about 19w. I didn't disclose the pregnancy until I was verbally offered the job. I was recommended by others not to disclose until I had signed a contract, but I wanted to gauge whether the Project Lead would be supportive t see if the job was actually a good fit. She was very accommodating, and I will work for 2 months at the new job before going on maternity leave (paid SMP through previous job as not eligible at the new one). Do whatever feels comfortable for you - if you are the right person for the job, you still will be despite needing time off!

As for carrying the baby downstairs: we are planning to get a snuz pod bassinet, which lifts off of the base so it can be carried to other rooms.

@Dia12 You might want to check your dates because SMP is only payable by the previous employer if you continued to work for them for 26 weeks at least and worked for them till the 15th week before your EWC, otherwise if you don't meet this requirement and change employers you may qualify for MA instead xx

Speaking of mat leave, is anyone considering shared mat leave with their partner? Part of me selfishly doesn't want to give up time with the baby that I've spent 9 months feeling crap for 😂 but it would be nice for the father to spend proper time with the baby.

@Ready2020 That's our plan. How are you thinking to take it? The rules are a bit complicated, but I'm hoping we'll manage to do it. I feel the same as you. xx

Thanks both. I haven't been working for past couple of years due to multiple ivfs (and losses) so I don't expect any kind of maternity pay, which is fine. I literally given up when applied for this post before finding out I was preg (also not expecting it last!). I'm so glad it has....and job will always be a second priority but would be so nice to go back to one so I don't feel like all my skills and education are wasted.
I wasn't planning on saying anything until after job offer but I may not have to worry about that anyway as when they see me at the assessment they'll surely figure out I'm preg from my massive belly!!
Argh, it'll be what it'll be.

I've earmarked the chicco 4in1 and will look out for a sale price or even try eBay.
Despite best of intentions so far all my purchases have been totally non essentials like wallpaper, a soft 🦁 head for the wall, and some animal hooks 😳 - I couldn't help myself nose diving into a safari theme. Beautiful but absolutely useless!!!!

@PurplePansy05 my mum has the silver cross pop at her house as she does childcare one day a week - we took it on holiday too. it's a great little buggy and its a true lie flat - we went on holiday and took it and she napped brilliantly in it by the pool.

@Ava50x we have the uppababy vista from our first which we will be using again. I really love it - it's a great pram but I also loved the Fox and we nearly went with that.

We will be doing shared leave again although it's a bit more flexible in Germany.

DH is going to take 4 months off and then use holiday to cover Christmas so he starts back FT in Jan.

I will stay off basically until we get the baby into childcare D: Payments will stop at 10 months so aiming for about then, but will have to wait and see as I might have fucked up the timing with nursery admissions already. I need to speak to the director of DS2's nursery but they are all stressing at the moment due to new law saying they need to test all the children over 3 for COVID twice weekly from Monday so I will wait until that stress dies down for them!

If anyone's free I'm about to watch this FB live:

www.facebook.com/events/730804461136518/

It's about mixed feeding (breast/bottle/formula)

@Ava50 We're minded to go with Uppababy Cruz 2, but having a couple of in store appointments this weekend so final decisions after we try them out. It all depends on your personal circumstances, which I know is an annoyingly unhelpful response, but a lot of things have crystallised for me only when I figured out my own practicalities re house, car, travel, DC2 potential plans etc. in my head. So much choice, sometimes it's a curse as we'd probably make it work with anything like our mums. Having said that, little make-lives-easier things are very welcome of course. xx

You have to join the group but thye were really quick to approve me.

@Ready2020 we're not planning on sharing as DH earns quite a bit more than me and his company offer barely any pay for parental leave, whereas my maternity is alright, so it would cost us quite a bit for him to take it. He also works odd hours and usually has quite a bit of time at home so will be able to spend much more time with baby than if he was in a normal 9-5 anyway.

@Ava50x we've currently got a second hand Mountain Buggy Swift (the pre-2015 version) from my SIL. It seems quite good but because it's old a lot of the mechanisms for attaching seats etc are stiff. I would love to buy an Uppababy Vista V2 but not sure if I can justify over £1000 for a pram when we do have a perfectly functional one, even if it's not my dream pram! We're going to the baby shop next weekend to find a car seat and will look at prams then too though, so I may end up weakening (especially as the Swift is absolutely enormous when folded down which is a pain).

@PurplePansy05 well I've applied for full maternity already but it only occurred to us that we had talked about shared leave (our minds have been on moving, not the impending baby!) . It would be good if we could both be off at the same time but I don't think that's going to work money wise.

We both work in the same building for the same people so it shouldn't complicate things hopefully.

Tbh I'm unsure how it would work. I want to breast feed for at least 6 months and I get 6 months full pay then 3 months stat then nothing but can stay off another 3 months. If I'm suddenly back at work and my OH takes over that's a big change for us all. I'd have to pump or just reduce and start bottle feeding. Then again I might already be bottle feeding if boob didn't work out.

I'm not overly fond of my job so I'd be happy not even going back at all. However we both earn the same wage and need to both be working. I wish you could just decide these things at the time, not before you even give birth!

Should I be looking at nurseries just now already ?

So I've just resigned. I think (and hope) that I will still be entitled to SMP because I will still be employed 15 weeks before my due date. It all got unnecessarily messy following my refusal to go on a construction site and I'm just not willing to take on any unnecessary stress

@PurplePansy05 I actually have brought the BB bouncer off Facebook market place for £20! It’s worth broadening your search area as the one I got the lady was more than happy to post it via Hermes so has cost me less than £30 all together. If baby doesn’t get on with it I will most probably be able to sell for that, if not more?

In terms of where the baby is when your downstairs, honestly my DS was either in his Moses basket or asleep on me or his dad 😂 When he got a little older we had a play mat that he would lie on for a bit. When they are really new though they tend to only be awake for 30-40 mins before needing to sleep again!

I also had the sleepyhead with DS and used it for bedtime and everything! He’s now 2 and a half and I realise guidance has now changed in regards to it, but he slept in it for every nap and every night until around 7 months! It was also great if we were visiting anywhere so we could just take that and he could nap in it.

Oh my goodness @Daffodil21 ! Are you okay? Is it worth contacting ACAS and discussing discrimination because your pregnant?

@Ready2020 I am thinking about taking 7-8 months and then DH on SPL. Prior to thos, he'll take a couple of weeks off on holiday to ease him into it. But of course we'll see how it goes. You don't need to decide now on respect of SPL or return date, it's usually an 8 week notice unless your policy requires otherwise. Don't worry too much yet, just work out your finances roughly I'd say and you can decide later. Re nurseries it al depends on the area. I sent an enquiry for further info to the one we are thinking about but no need to book yet. But in some areas it's different.

@Daffodil21 That's awful. I'm so sorry it's come to this. How are you feeling? xx

@Ready2020 we are planning on shared leave. I am the main wage earner in our house so we wouldn't be able to afford for me to take more than 18 weeks which is what I have enhanced maternity pay for. Our plan is then at this stage I will "end" my maternity leave and start shared parental leave we will prob both take a couple of weeks together in December then I'll go back to work full time in Jan and dh will stay home with baby from dec -March
We are both in term time jobs so I'd love to be able to afford to stretch one of us being off to end of June as that would mean not paying for childcare to very end of August next year but I think we will both need to be back at work from April when the statutory pay ends tbh.

Sorry about the typos I'm on a walk!

@Daffodil21 hope your OK!?

@Smurf123 @PurplePansy05 @Magik01 I'm strangely fine?! It's actually a massive relief tbh. I won't be saying that when it hits my purse strings though! No way was I going back after maternity, not to work for them so may as well just go now and save the hassle for all of us. The most important thing is this baby, and I will not be unnecessarily stressed out over a job

@Daffodil21 If they refused to engage with you this might not only be discriminatory but also the case of constructive dismissal if you meet the criteria. Breathe and cuppa now, tell us more when you can. Xx

@Daffodil21 glad to hear it's feeling OK at the moment - sometimes biting the bullet can be such a relief. I'm not a lawyer at all but agree with the others, if you're feeling up for it, it could definitely be worth exploring discrimination or constructive dismissal - I think there may be a time limit on these claims, which may be worth bearing in mind.

@Ready2020 I've called a couple of nurseries to ask and I think it varies massively on locations how early you need to look! I've heard of friends in London who need to sign up practically before they conceive, but my top choice round here said that looking after Christmas will be fine, when baby will around 4/5 months old (though I probably will start looking beforehand, maybe October time, to hopefully return to work in August)

@Daffodil21 hope you’re ok! Surely if you have agreement from your doctor they needed to go with that! Sounds like you could have a case to me. Like you say though really important to try not to get too stressed x

I spoke to my GP about my breathlessness and wheezing and returning to work at school and he said no and signed me off for 3 weeks! Can’t actually believe it. Feel guilty not going on but he was quite certain a classroom with a bad chest is not a good place to be right now. I’m going for a blood test to check for anaemia too as that can make you breathless too.

@Daffodil21 glad you feel relieved, and well done for taking the plunge. Time to reflect and consider your options later.

@Ready2020 I get the same maternity offer as you (I’m also a civil servant in a central gov department). Worth factoring in that you accumulate leave (+ public holidays) in that period too so should be able to take almost 40 days (ie 8 weeks) of the year paid full salary.

We bought the Fox2 secondhand - my SiL has one and we really liked it so just decided to take the plunge and it seemed like a bargain (£600 and they’d only used the bassinet briefly before deciding it was too big for their hallway). But that’s the only thing I have bought so far - been feeling a bit funny about buying lots of stuff yet and I didnt let my DH bid on it on eBay until I was safely through my scan last week.

They did engage with me. But didn't accept when I said I wasn't happy going. They kept insisting they were asking me a perfectly reasonable request, said they had got HR advice (this is a very small company) who agreed it was a reasonable request. They only finally accepted it when I sent them my drs note, and then turned it around saying they were disappointed with my attitude (???) etc etc. I've got an annual review tomorrow and they kept throwing that at me, saying my tone and attitude will be discussed with me then, as well as my 'highly inaccurate statements'. (I had said I said my reasons were dismissed and they kept insisting I went, therefore I didn't have a choice but to speak to my dr)

I just cba with it all and responded with my resignation, stating the reasons in my letter, which included references to pregnancy, just in case anything comes back on me from this. Whilst the sole reason I am leaving is because of how they have treated me during pregnancy, I'm not sure I would have a case against them? And I'm not sure I cba with the battle tbh.

@LaceyMermaid that's brilliant! What a relief