Pregnancy after loss - Autumn Babies 2021 - Thread 3

[Pancakes7]

Hello! We're on thread 3 already!!

@PumpkinEverything
@ahuss
@Bellabubble
@Strawberry08
@marplemead
@MrsTD88
@Cafeaulait27
@ELMcg
@NatJ24
@JRH4622
@vitaminb33
@imisscoffee
@Firevie
@lamby12
@smarty4
@Smurf123

I hope that's everyone! If not please tag people if you think of any x

@Firevie Well last time I only had 2 private scans before my dating scan then that was it. But I feel I want more because of the low Papp-a result. I am feeling less anxious about it now though. But I still worry a bit. Good idea to see your private doctor as often as you need to. If it helps your anxiety it's worth it. I didn't really get the worry this time.

Pgp is pelvic girdle pain a hormone called relaxin loosens your joints/muscles getting ready for baby but pgp is when it loosens too much and causes pain. I'm struggling to walk far atm. Even sitting in my car or a chair that's too hard is painful.

@Pancakes7 ah thanks for explaining. Sorry you suffer from that - sounds painful!
I asked my doctor today (begged really!) if he could just deliver my baby. I’m so unhappy with the midwives at my nhs hospital so asked my private doctor if he would deliver my baby lol but sadly it won’t work with this system unless I get him to deliver in the private hospital which will be more than £10k and in his nhs hospital he wouldn’t be able to guarantee that he would be there when I am due :( boo but was worth the ask lol xxx

@Pancakes7 @Firevie the weeks since the 12 scan have definitely gone much quicker. I'm due to have a c-section at 39 weeks so I'm really starting to panic at how quickly the weeks are going by! I have a growth scan at 28 weeks then every 4 weeks after that. Didn't have anything after 20 week scan last time as baby's movements were reassuring.

I hope your pgp improves @Pancakes7 must be so difficult with you having a little one at home too. X

@Firevie donyou have hospital and community midwives? I have separate here - so my community midwife is who does all my appointments etc, but they won’t actually be there for delivery! I don’t knkw of we get to meet any hospital midwifes before labour (like on a hospital tour or something) or if it is just pot luck lol!

@Bellabubble not sure we have a distinction between community and hospital midwives. The nhs midwives in the hospital haven’t clarified...but good point I’ll ask at my 20week scan who will actually deliver my baby. As I will def not want the midwife who called for my 16w appointment / she wouldn’t know how to deliver a baby.

Xxx

Where I am the midwives in the hospital do rotation/shifts in either the outpatients department doing maternity appointments or on the maternity and labour ward, so you sometimes meet the same midwives in both. If you don't like a particular midwife you can ask for another anyway.

@Firevie with my first I went in on the Sunday to be induced and ended up having an emergency section in the early hours of the Tuesday morning. I didn't get home until the Thursday... I went through a LOT of different midwives. They were all great bar one who I just felt wasn't interested. Hopefully you're not in labour for too long and only have the one midwife but if you are in for longer bear in mind there will be shift changes so it may not be the same midwife all the way through the process. X

Hi ladies, glad to hear everyone's scans are going well!

Has anyone got any tips for controlling the anxiety? I am really struggling this week. I thought I would feel 'free' after the 12 week scan and now I'm pining for the 20 week scan. I'm 13 weeks today and I have no reason to worry (logically) but I'm turning everything into obsessive anxiety this week.

Toddler daughter knocked my stomach yesterday (mainly my hip/side, I knew it wasn't a big deal), woke up sleeping on my front and panicked, slipped on the step and felt a lurch in my stomach (not a fall, just when your foot slips a step and it's jarring), got stressed about a work call and felt my heart racing... the list goes on. I'm exhausting myself and I know DH is getting frustrated. He says he just wants me to enjoy this pregnancy now and I'll make myself ill being like this. He really can't listen to me going on like this and I can understand! I sound insufferable at the moment don't I, and after a successful 12 week scan?!

I've tried to write myself a little list, a tip I saw about managing anxiety, with some factual statements - things like nothing I do or don't do will cause a miscarriage, there is no need for a scan unless I have worrying symptoms, the chances of miscarriage now are very low. Etc etc. All logical stuff to try and bring myself back down from my anxiety. Do I sound a bit mad?

I'm just having a really difficult week worrying about everything. Has anyone else felt like this at this stage and have any tips? I think it's because I don't feel very pregnant. My stomach has gone (was mainly bloating!) the nausea has gone (great obviously!) I feel like I've imagined it!

@lamby12 would you consider asking your midwife/gp for some support with the anxiety? Maybe counselling, or techniques to help.

Thanks @Garman I think I will speak to the midwife about it for sure, hopefully they will understand.

I don't think I will the GP, it's difficult getting through the door as it is and I feel like they are very cut and dry about anxiety either you need medication or not. That's the feel I got when I spoke with them about my mental health after the last miscarriage. And I didn't want or need medication I just wanted a space to speak.

I know it probably sounds from my post like I'm in a total state but I'm not most days, I just feel like I need a few coping/distraction strategies which maybe the midwife can help with.

@lamby12 sorry to hear you’re having a low day. Why don’t you try some positive pregnancy affirmations to meditate? I’ve been listening to some really good ones on YouTube. Type Affirmations for first trimester / affirmations for second trimester. It’s by Jamie Hocking. I find it really soothing. Xxx

Yeah that's why I mentioned midwife or gp, whichever you'd get better help from based on your own experiences. For me that'd be my gp because I don't trust the midwives here as far as I could throw them! Counselling could actually just mean speaking to someone who could give you coping mechanisms, not full on therapy etc.

@lamby12 I'm sorry to hear you're feeling heightened anxiety still, if it helps I did feel really awful for quite a while after my scan but it started to improve and now (at 15 weeks 4 days) I'm feeling calmer. I still struggle with now having consistent pregnancy symptoms etc, it's a tricky period between the first trimester and feeling movements.

@Pancakes7 ahh that sucks my PGP kicked in pretty early and pretty bad too this time, when I look after my toddler all day I can't move by the end of it. I was recommended a serola belt and I actually really like it, it's much better than the one the hospital gave me. Also I've found swimming really helps now the pool has opened again (although breaststroke kick is definitely ruled out!)

@Firevie I think here Community midwives don't deliver babies they are separate from the hospital midwives even though they do have offices there too. It's pot luck in my experience who looks after you. Also depending how long it takes they'll do shift changes. I saw loads in my time over night after my c section

@lamby12 I'm sorry to hear you're suffering with anxiety. Definitely a good idea to speak to your midwife. I used an app called Headspace after my first missed miscarriage and it really helped me. It teaches you simple meditation. They have specific ones for each scenario of what you're going through. They normally do a free trial to try. Also remind yourself, Today you are pregnant, today baby is growing in your tummy, you have a husband who loves you and a daughter who you successfully grew and gave birth too. You can and will do that again. ❤️

@vitaminb33 I have a serola belt from last time which a physio recommended. I've booked an appointment with an osteopath who specialises on pgp and spd. So hoping he can help me.

Thanks for all your replies ladies. I'm having a better day - I'm trying to just keep telling myself it's just illogical worries, because I switch what I'm worrying about every hour!

I'm trying a few things including keeping my phone out of the way a lot more so I can't keep googling and looking at my pregnancy apps. Most of the time screen time doesn't help it's just fuelling me being a bit obsessive! It's also better for my days with DD because I spend too much time ignoring her and staring at the phone. Going to get on with a few light jobs that need doing round the house, read my book before bed, play with DD more - anything other than looking at my phone and obsessing.

So with that in mind I might be off this for a little bit in an effort to try and distract myself from the pregnancy. I'm sure I'll be back in a bit as it's so useful and supportive, but at the moment screen time is correlating with obsessing over pregnancy worry for me, so I'm having a break!
X

Happy Monday ladies! Hope you’re all doing fine. I seem to remember someone having a 20week scan today? Was that you @MrsTD88?
I have just done my first online pregnancy yoga session. It was really nice though I think I’m super cautious doing every movement even slower than the instructor lol
Have you guys tried out pregnancy yoga? Xxx

@Firevie I do, that's so nice you remembered. My appointment is at 3.20 so still a little while to wait. I am so nervous and excited at the same time, just hoping baby behaves and all is well.

Oh that sounds good, I've never tried it before but I've heard good things. My daughter does cosmic yoga with nursery, maybe we could do some together! X

@MrsTD88 yay good luck for your scan and enjoy seeing your little bubba!
I’ve just had my blood results back and am now a bit worried and waiting for my private doctor to come back to me. From what I can understand I am a little low on iron and vitamin D so I’m hoping he will tell me to take vitamin supplements along with natural food intake.
The other thing that has worried me a little is an elevated ALT level which I have read is a liver enzyme so now I’m worried and googling. Trying to stay calm as I know baby’s growth is fine and he’s moving around as that’s what we saw on the scan on Thursday. Just hope my private doctor comes back to me soon and puts my mind at ease xxx

Just as an update - my private doctor squeezed me in. Told me not to panic, we will keep an eye on it. Liver enzymes are elevated and he made me do another blood test checking for bile acids. He said he suspects it will resolve itself but that we will just keep an eye on it. Ugh just when you start relaxing something else comes up. I need to stop googling and focus my mind on something else. Xxx

@Firevie I’m also doing pregnancy yoga! Did an online class which is moving to in person from next week which I’m really excited about. It’ll be nice to be with real people!

What does it mean if liver enzymes are elevated? Hope it all sorts itself out for you and you don’t worry too much ( I know it’s easier said than done!) xx

@Cafeaulait27 yay to online classes.
Thanks / I think it’s related to the itchiness and just means that the liver / bile acids are a bit slow in flushing it all out and doing their work. Sorry this is obv not a medical explanation lol
Bottom line is it just needs to be monitored but I’m really glad I went to get my bloods done and took the initiative on my own rather than waiting around xxx

@Firevie glad to hear your doctor is taking good care of you and keeping an eye on things. Hopefully seeing your doctor has put your mind at ease a little.

Had my scan, I need to go for a repeat on 26th. Unfortunately she couldn't get all the measurements she wanted but what she did see was all good so taking that as a good thing. Had my whooping cough vaccine after the scan too!

@MrsTD88 yay I’m happy for you and glad you get to see baby again in 6weeks. I keep forgetting about the whooping vaccine. Need to get that with my 20week scan too.
I will also start taking vitamin D and iron supplements on top of my Pregnacare as they’re at the lower end. At least that’s something I can ‘fix’ with supplements and foods so making the spinach fruit smoothies a daily staple! Feel like this was a good kick to take care of my diet better and not to let cravings take over! So spinach smoothies all the way! Xxx