Pregnancy after loss - Autumn Babies 2021 - Thread 3

[Pancakes7]

Hello! We're on thread 3 already!!

@PumpkinEverything
@ahuss
@Bellabubble
@Strawberry08
@marplemead
@MrsTD88
@Cafeaulait27
@ELMcg
@NatJ24
@JRH4622
@vitaminb33
@imisscoffee
@Firevie
@lamby12
@smarty4
@Smurf123

I hope that's everyone! If not please tag people if you think of any x

Thanks @vitaminb33 yes I know, I don't think I'll enjoy much of this pregnancy certainly not until 12 weeks anyway! I think I'll breathe a tiny bit then. X

@Cafeaulait27 congratulations on the results, it’s so reassuring.

@lamby12 I am 13 weeks now and it has got a lot better around 12.5 weeks but around the 9 week point my nausea went from all day every day to a little more sporadic and had good days and then bad days. I did also panic as I went from feeling awful to feeling great overnight but then I did have lots more awful days. Try not to worry as your body adapts to the level of hormones x

@lamby12 thank you, mornings and evenings are the worst but thankfully usually OK during the day most days. I'm just thankful all seems to be going well this time. I had barely any symptoms at all with my daughter and was constantly worried but after the 20 week scan I calmed right down as could feel movements then. I hate that we all have the joy of early pregnancy taken away from us because of our past experiences.

Hi all, I’ve not managed to keep up with this thread at all but I’m going to catch up now. I hope you’re all doing ok.
I had my dating scan last week (lots of tears) and all is well - due around Oct 21st. Is there a Facebook group at all as I think I’d be able to keep track better there?

@NorthernGirl1991 I'm so glad your dating scan went well. There is a Facebook group but it's private. @PumpkinEverything can invite you if you pm her your email address you use for Facebook.

Morning ladies! How are we all doing? This group has gone weirdly quiet. Hope all ok with everyone. I’m going for a wax and a mani pedi today - so exciting!!! Can’t wait to feel like a woman again! I’ve also ordered some maternity clothes as I feel like nothing that I have fits properly and/or makes me look gross. Now that my bump is growing I’m also experiencing itchiness around my tummy. I’m using bio oil to keep it moisturised. Has anyone else experienced this? Xxx

@Firevie I think anyone is using the Facebook group more which is why this is quiet. I haven't been remembering to check in as much now. I got my maternity clothes out of the loft and bought 2 new maternity jeans from New look. Very comfy! Got a pair on today with a maternity t shirt feeling very comfortable lol. Good idea to get in the moisturising started now. My bump is definitely trying to make an appearance lol.

I think I use the Facebook group a lot more too! Although it’s only October babies in that group so I like to come on here and check in on how the others are doing ahead and before me! I ordered a few pairs of maternity jeans @Firevie and then I’ll see how I get on with needing more new clothes 😂 it’s not quite warm enough here for dresses so I’m still in jeans and a jumper/hoodie most days. Although I can see them getting a bit tighter 😬

@Firevie I'm so bloated I honestly can't tell if I'm showing already or not (I wouldn't be surprised, my first baby was pretty huge). I feel like I can't wear anything but I also can't bring myself to buy anything maternity until my dating scan goes okay 😅. Unluckily because my first pregnancy was completely opposite season-wise the few maternity items I have are very winter

I'm rubbish at keeping track of this thread and the FB groups 😅 hope everyone is ok. I've got my GTT on Thursday. I'm 14+4 today, last time my waters went at 14+3 so feeling a little more optimistic now. Although I saw an old work friend yesterday and told her I was pregnant, and she was lovely but asked me if I was doing anything differently this time around to try and avoid the same happening, and it really upset me. I didn't do anything that caused the haematoma/PPROM. I've spent many weeks blaming myself and thought I had made peace with it but it just caught me off guard. Then she asked if I was more relaxed this time around 😂 nope!!

@PumpkinEverything thank you for adding me to the FB group! I don't know who anyone is😂 , but have enjoyed reading through the posts.

@Firevie I hope you enjoyed your beauty treatments. I remember getting a pedi late in my pregnancy with DD when I could no longer properly reach my toes. It was such a lovely treat!

@vitaminb33 I'm lucky that I was pregnant in the same seasons with DD, but everything is already feeling tight. I must have been much smaller. I'm going to pick up some new bits on eBay as don't really want to spend on maternity clothes when this will be my last baby.

@imisscoffee That was a rubbish thing for your friend to say. I think people struggle with what to say when it comes to pregnancy loss, and the end up putting their foot in it. I hope you are able to chalk it down to one of those well-meaning but thoughtless things people say.

@Firevie I'm a terrible lurker, I keep up to date but don't post too much.

My face has broken out in a terrible rash, my skin is so dry and is really painful. Bloody hormones. I have been moisturising like crazy which is helping slightly.

It is so good to be able to do some normal things isn't it. I cannot wait to get my hair done at the weekend, it has been far too long!

Aww soo good to hear from all of you! I missed you guys!
@PumpkinEverything maybe I should join that FB group too
Re itchiness - not sure how you guys do it! Itchiness around my belly is driving me nuts. My doctor said it’s ok for now but we should keep an eye on it as it shouldn’t itch in later pregnancy. Does it get better later on? Xxx

@Firevie I hadn't heard that! To be honest in my first pregnancy the itchiness was way worse later on, but I did have crazy extensive stretchmarks which were definitely the cause.

@imisscoffee I'm sorry about your friend what a horribly thoughtless thing to say!

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed as my scan date gets closer, I was hoping getting past the the point my last pregnancy ended might help but my symptoms have really eased off which I take as a horribly bad sign even though I know it can happen at 12 weeks. I'm still having nightmares (although they are increasingly bizarre). I just keep thinking that I won't be able to cope if it's bad news, and that it's going to be bad news, etc etc.

Aw that’s horrible that she said that to you @imisscoffee 😔 you definitely did nothing wrong. I don’t think people think before they speak at all sometimes!

Of course @Firevie just send me a PM and I can get you added if/when you’re ready!

I know it’s hard, but try not to worry too much @vitaminb33 my symptoms all disappeared at around 8 weeks or so, and other than the odd day here and there of exhaustion, and slightly sore boobs recently from them growing, I’ve not had much and I’m 15 weeks. They really do come and go. When is your scan again?

Hi Everyone, I hope you're all well. @Firevie I'm definitely getting the itchy tummy & boobs too. Trying to moisturise to stop it.

@vitaminb33 try and help positive. When is your dating scan?

I got my screening letter yesterday low risk for everything but low Papp-a which sent me into a spin. I cried a lot last night but I'm trying to keep positive now.

Apparently it can be a sign of a placenta not working fully and can cause pre-term birth, low birth weight, preeclampsia and worse.

I would usually get growth scans but because of the pandemic I won't. I'll just get one growth scan at 36 weeks.

I've emailed my midwife to see if I need to be on aspirin. We've decided if they won't give me growth scans we're going to book private scans every few weeks for reassurance.

Sorry for the essay.

@Firevie I’m really itchy - but all over - tummy, sides, thighs, legs, arms - it’s infuriating! I have been hsing burts bees mama bee cream that calms it. My midwife said it was hormones, I’ve had mine since first trimester though, sometimes people get it later and it’s more tied into growth spurts

@Pancakes7 that's rubbish that they won't offer growth scans, what has the pandemic got to do with that?! I'm sorry you're being treated that way. I've got no knowledge of Papp-a but it might be worth having a look for a Facebook group to talk to women who have experienced it.

@vitaminb33 I hope you haven't got long to wait for your scan. Take it day by day, it's totally normal to feel overwhelmed in our situations.

@imisscoffee I found a Mumsnet thread about it and they've been really helpful and supportive. I couldn't find anything on Facebook.

I hope you're ok. That friends comment was very unhelpful. Xx

That's great! Glad you've got some support from people who are in a similar boat. Thank you, it really surprised me. I don't know if she thought about it later and realised what a daft thing it was to say. Even if they'd been an obvious reason for my loss (falling down the stairs, car crash etc) it would still be an incredibly insensitive thing to say. I'm doing ok thanks, had my GTT today and the massive varicose veins in my leg checked. I'm going to be on clexane injections from 28 weeks, I'll be on them for nearly 5 months in total so might plan some dot to dot patterns for my thighs 😂

Hi everyone, glad everyone is doing ok. Sorry you had the upsetting comment @imisscoffee

I am getting a few of those - the couple of friends I've told have asked a few times 'everything still ok?' I feel like saying '...still pregnant yes'. And lots of fingers crossed emojis! I know they're just being nice but really just saying 'how are you' would be better. The fingers crossed stuff makes me annoyed because you wouldn't say that to a pregnant person who hasn't had a miscarriage, it gives the 'we're cursed' sort of impression doesn't it.

Also my mum really upset me yesterday because she was telling me she'd been chatting to my cousin on the phone who I'm fairly close to, text regularly, we've been close in younger years. And she just said 'have you told her about the possible pregnancy?' I was like what do you mean by possible pregnancy, I'm 10 weeks tomorrow, we've seen the baby and heartbeat 3 times and have pictures, which she's seen, is it not real to her?! I hadn't told the cousin as it was, and I know my mums just wary of referring to things as a done deal but 'possible pregnancy?!'

Sorry that was a rant. But I was feeling comfortable with things and time was passing a bit quicker this week, now I suddenly feel in immediate fear of the worse and like I need a scan! It's amazing how one little word can tip you so far the other way. X

Thank you @PumpkinEverything @imisscoffee @Pancakes7 my scan's morning of the 27th (unluckily also happens to be an important work deadline!) I feel absolutely horrendous about it at the moment but I know that's normal and I'll try and breath and get through it.

@Pancakes7 I'm sorry to hear that! I'd never heard of the papp-a test, it's understandable you'd feel stressed by it (If you'd like me to abuse my research access I'm always happy to dig into medical journals but I know that's not everyone's cup of tea). Frustrating they won't offer extra scans if that's normal! You'd hope by the time you're a bit further along the pandemic restrictions might lessen again

@lamby12 oh I'm sorry that's awful, I'm sure everyone's trying to be sensitive but really putting their foot in it, "possible pregnancy" at 10 weeks! I was really taken aback recently when I had to tell some new people and they just unreservedly congratulated me - I'm used to it being 'hedged' with "oh I won't get my hopes up" etc 🤷‍♀️ joys of pregnancy after loss I suppose

Oh @lamby12 that's horrible, I'm so sorry you had to hear that. Have you told your mum how it makes you feel? The fingers crossed stuff is really frustrating, but that would really upset me too. Even if others feel trepidation about our pregnancies after loss, they should have the decency to keep that to themselves and be positive for our sakes. You'll be anxious enough without someone else's anxieties added to the mix.

@vitaminb33 What's your job? Sorry I can't remember. I didn't realise you have access. If you could find any positive research cases that would be really helpful. My Papp-a is 0.31. Thank you!

The wait is so hard before scans isn't it. I hope all is well and I'm sure it will be. Annoyingly because of this result I've had I feel like I'm back to worrying again. But trying to keep positive and forget about it. Feel a bit like I'll be constantly waiting for the next scan atm though. 3 weeks till my next scan.