Pregnancy after loss - Autumn babies 2021 - Thread 2

[Pancakes7]

Hi All,

I thought I'd start a new thread before we fill the other one.

@Bellabubble
@Firevie
@PumpkinEverything
@MrsF111
@MrsTD88
@Strawberry08
@imisscoffee
@Greenrubber
@vitaminb33
@Smurf123
@NorthernGirl1991
@bookwitch13
@JRH4622

Hopefully I've tagged everyone!

Oh @lamby12 I'm sorry you are going through this. Do call the EPU if the bleeding persists. I had bleeding at 6wks with DD and all was fine. I hope it's the case for you too. Big hugs ❤️

@Pancakes7 we went for a cheap dating one which was about £40 just to reconfirm dates, it wasn't very long but we saw heartbeat etc and she confirmed our due date (it was only out by a day with the NHS one). We were also gave lots of print outs (about 10!) and they sent videos and photos to my phone.

I don't think I'll have any more private ones now unless we decide to find out the gender (our hospital won't reveal the gender). You've done so well only having one scan until now, it seems so long ago since you set up the original thread.

Thank you all for the quick replies. I've got up and changed and there's no new blood just a bit of very dark brown but obviously now I'm sitting here feeling like I'm maybe bleeding, I think I'll be spending a lot of time in the bathroom checking.
DH came into the the bedroom to check on me with DD (2.5) and she came straight up hugging me, kissing me, wiping my face with a tissue. She's so loving and it just made me even more sad if we're losing another one.

I can't believe the cruelness if this is another miscarriage right after the scan. I'm really really hoping that the internal scan just irritated something. It seems too coincidental?

I just need to wait out the weekend I think and see what happens. Hopefully I'll know by the end of the weekend if this is progressing into proper bleeding or not. If it becomes a miscarriage obviously there's nothing to be done. If it doesn't continue I'll call GP on Monday and ask for a referral to EPU and ask that they scan me around 8 weeks.

Just need to see what happens now.

@Greenrubber I am too anxious for sex too, in my pregnancy with DD we had no sex til after the 12 week scan then it was only a couple of times in the second trimester, and not until a few months after I gave birth. So probably twice in a year! Thankfully DH is exceptionally understanding about it!

@lamby12

The brown spotting should be a good sign as it will be the older blood so maybe that will be that last of it
Fingers crossed for you!

Oh @lamby12 I'm sorry that must be really stressful. I have heard internal scans can cause harmless spotting (same reason as sex) and I did have some bleeding after sex in my first pregnancy like that.

@lamby12 fingers crossed for you that everything is ok.
@Pancakes7 I will have paid off 3 private scans after mine next Tuesday - at 6,8 and 11 weeks. We think we will do another one at 16 weeks and maybe one after 20. I just think the gaps between NHS scans are too long. Will see. I regretted eating that cheese pizza last night as tummy ache then went to the toilet and had loose motions (sorry TMI) only once though and then went back to bed and just got up. Feeling good now. So, only toast and tea for me today lol xxx

@lamby12 the scan could well have irritated your cervix into bleeding a tiny bit, but I know the feeling of having to wait and see if it's just some spotting or another miscarriage starting.

After my scan this week I had loads of brown blood from the haemotoma, so the internal scan had obviously activated it into coming out more than usual. They reckon that my haemorrhage happened at around 6 weeks, it could be something like that.

Fingers crossed it eases off for you x

Our hospital has just announced we can take our birth partner to our 20 week scan! We b both have to go in for a swab 2 days prior then isolate till the scan. ❤️ We will still do a private scan at 16 weeks though.

@Cafeaulait27 I loved those books too, I definitely felt like she was my kindred spirit shopping wise for a while. I have gotten so much better, but I have a feeling the call of cute baby stuff may lire me back in 😂 xx

@MrsTD88 ahhh - I so want to look at clothes, but I keep telling myself that I need to get the important stuff first as this will be our first bubba! So I imagine we’ll have a big cost to begin with. I’m happy to go second hand for a few items - my 2 friends that just had babies both had a lot of second hand stuff - but I used to work in mothercare many moons ago so I’m wary of anything like mattresses, car seats, pushchairs being secondhand. Pushchairs aren’t so bad unless the person hasn’t maintained them well - the amount of repairs we used to have to send away at mothercare was crazy - I left there in 2008 though, so hopefully pushchairs are more robust these days 😂

@lamby12 I’m sorry to here about the spotting - I have definitely heard that internal scans can irritate the cervix etc as there’s more blood starting to flow to that area so it gets more sensitive. Take it as easy as you can today xx

@Cafeaulait27 ^lure me back in - not lire 😂

@Bellabubble & @Cafeaulait27 OMG I loved those books too! Also love the movie for an easy watch. Although I was surprised how different it is to the book. I read it after I watched the film.

We have all the big stuff already. But will need to buy a double buggy instead of my current one. Other than that it's just clothing. If it's a girl I could go crazy buying stuff lol. If it's a boy I kept all DS clothing so I wouldn't need to buy as much. Although he was a spring/summer baby in May. This one is more a winter baby so clothes may not really match up Season wise lol.

@Cafeaulait27 @Bellabubble @Pancakes7 I used to love those books too! I'm definitely a recovered shopaholic. Luckily we have all the big things, as well as lots of DD's clothes/toys. And they don't really need much at the beginning. One thing I will do is try to do the same baby book that I did for DD - it was a bit of a chore even then, but I don't want the 2nd baby to not have the same.

Thanks ladies I am really hoping it was just aggravated by the scan. I can't believe that in the space of 12 hrs things could go from perfect on the scan to ending? But I suppose that's what happens.

I am currently on the sofa while DH taken DD to the park, trying to take it easy but will get on with things (playing with DD, nothing strenuous) this aft because I'm just obsessing about it.

I have had a few more very dark brown smears so hopefully just old blood, nothing new seems to have come down since about 7am so I have everything crossed that's it. I certainly feel a lot more 'threatened' and back on alert now rather than the nice bit of reassurance I had from the scan. That was short lived.

Here's hoping. X

@lamby12 That definitely sounds like old blood. Very good sign. Take it easy. I would phone the epu either way on Monday and get checked to just reassure you. ❤️

I've just had a letter with a obstetrics antenatal appointment over the phone in May when I'll be 15 weeks. I wasn't expecting it. I'm trying to guess what it will be about as it doesn't say. I can only guess that I had a planned c section last time as DS was extended breech. My midwife asked how I wanted to deliver this time and I did say I was undecided. She said I could talk to someone about it at about 24 weeks. So not sure if it's that or not as it's a bit early. Otherwise it could be about my high bmi as she said she'd refer me for healthy eating advice. I hate not knowing!!

Okay you can ignore my post below I've had some replies on the Facebook group and feeling okay about it now.

Thank you @Pancakes7 yes I will do but I won't be having another internal scan as it seems too coincidental that I've not had a speck of blood this pregnancy then 12 hours after the scan I have a bleed.

I'm feeling better that it's stopped and now just keep getting brown mucus/smears when I wipe, I still feel super on edge that it could be a precursor to proper bleeding starting. All I can do is wait and it's awful isn't it. I just keep telling myself they saw a heartbeat, everything was fine, at the moment it's only been a light bleed so everything should still be fine.... but I can't help feeling slightly terrified!

@lamby12 it's so tough waiting to see if it's something or nothing isn't it. I'm monitoring bleeding every day, hoping to have some which I am which means the haematoma is clearing, but not enough that it means it's getting worse or that a miscarriage is starting. Constant stress!

Yes it is @Garman at points I'm feeling like I can't function and I just want to curl up and let time pass and pass! DH is doing the lions share with DD today but keeps telling me (nicely!) I need to try and just get on a little bit with things as distraction.
He's right, but it's so difficult. I suppose acting like it's about to happen will make no difference, it's like I'm almost preparing myself for the worst to cope just in case.
I just want to get to the end of the weekend with no more bleeding then I'll feel a little better. Hopefully.

@Garman so you are going through the same and had a couple of weeks of spotting to get through before your scan, I don't know how you've done it. X

@Garman *sorry you are going through

Tbh @lamby12 it was hell and I was floored with exhaustion and sickness for the 3 days after the scan just with the relief that it was over, I could barely function for that waiting time. It's only today I'm really back to myself and the scan was Monday, today is the first day I've done more than the bare minimum of school runs, meals, and washing necessary clothes. On a cleaning binge today now because I feel so normal finally.

Although now of course the mmc experience has set in again and I am assuming the worst for my next scan in 10 days! But I'm trying not to think about it.

Think my nerves are starting to kick in a bit ahead of Wednesday 😬 I was feeling sort of positive and excited at the start of the week, and now I’m starting to think again about my lack of symptoms and worrying about it again. I’ve not really had any since before my last scan (at 8+6) other than the odd random boob pain (which is brief). I’ve still got gas and feel bloated most days, but I know how cruel are bodies can be and that they can just continue on even if something is wrong. My skin has cleared up a bit today after being terrible since the TWW, and although I should be happy about that I’m actually just panicking it means something is wrong. I also keep getting a few random odd cramps which I know I shouldn’t worry about, but I can’t help but overthink them. Last time I remember getting up from the sofa and walking to the kitchen sink and getting a sharp shooting pain that made me feel like I couldn’t walk, and then it disappeared after I sat on the sofa for a few hours and never came back. I tried to not think of it but then after going to my scan a week later it turned out that was around the time that baby stopped growing 😔 so now anytime I get even a hint of that feeling it makes me panic, even if it wasn’t related.
I think I just feel like I’m in the unknown as I’m 11+5, which is past the point of finding out about my MMC, and also having the surgical management for it. I now feel like I can’t see past this and I can’t imagine what my life will be like for the next few months because I’m getting a bit too stressed to even picture it. Just can’t imagine going into the room and hearing good news 😔 I just hear ‘I’m really sorry...’
I always break things up into chunks so I’m thinking tomorrow is the last day of the weekend, and then it’s Monday which is the only day I’m working, and then Tuesday I’ll be off (by myself as husband is working) so I’ll just potter about the house (and probably stress myself out), and then it’s Wednesday and it’s scan day 😳 feel like it’s pretty much tomorrow when I think about it!

@Bellabubble that's good you've got some insider knowledge! The little outfit we got is a Mothercare one from Boots. Think we'll hold off for a while before getting anything else. Got my letter through for my 20 week scan, I'll be be 21 weeks when I have it.

@PumpkinEverything all the things you describe sound totally familiar to me. I can relate to the anxiety in the days before a scan. Like @Garman I wore myself out with the anxiety before mine. The only advice I can give is keep as busy as you can and if you're tempted to Google put your phone out of sight. I'm sure all will be perfect on Wednesday X