August 2021 - Heading into the second trimester

[BertieBotts]

Old thread was about to fill up again

I will try to get to the car seat/pram Qs in a bit...

@wimbler - EDD 29 July, having a surprise! 💛
@Champson - EDD 22 August (but really June/July), TBC 💛💛💛
@Jessicapebbles - EDD 5 August (but having C-section at 39 weeks, so really July) 💛
@smurf123 - EDD 5 August (but likely to be July) 💛
@WhatEvenIsSleep EDD 2 August, TBC 💛
@Smushty14 - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Rattyclife - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Biscuitcat - EDD 10 August, having a surprise! 💛
@runnergirl123 - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@PurplePansy05 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@BananaHammock23 - EDD 13 August, surprise 💛
@MrsB2019x - EDD 13 August, TBC 💛
@Magik01 - EDD 13 August, TBC 💛
@Carefree1 - EDD 15 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@DressyGerbera - EDD 15 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, undecided 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, want to know! 💛
@Whatshouldbemyusername - EDD 16 August, TBC 💛
@WolfMother326 - EDD 17 August, surprise 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@WatermelonKisses - EDD 20 August, surprise 💛
@alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@Millymay13 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August, TBC 💛
@northernsquirrel- EDD 31 August, surprise 💛

Hey everyone! Hope everyone is ok!
I finally got my first telephone appointment with my midwife now I’m at 18 weeks ha! She asked me about a c-section due to my first giving me a gorgeous 4th degree tear but I was wondering if anyone has had a planned one before as I’m shocked she said I won’t get to see the consultant until 36 weeks-ish then I’ll get a date after that and it could be in as little time as a week away. I’m sure I’ve heard of others knowing their dates before this and even now? Is this normal procedure or will I actually get told earlier than last minute like that?

Ahh congratulations @MrsB2019x fab news 💖 xx

@coffeeandrainbows1 I am consultant led and was told I would see my consultant to discuss delivery options at 36 weeks too.

Thank you @PurplePansy05 ☺️

@coffeeandrainbows1 Ouch, poor you! 🥴 I think that’s fairly standard, I think some people may be told a rough idea of when their section may be (eg. 38/39/40 wks) but I don’t think people have planned dates this fair in advance

@coffeeandrainbows1

Do you mind me asking about the recovery of a 4th degree tear, do you have any lasting effects now?

I am asking as I have so much anxiety about giving birth and feel the recovery from a c section is still hard but the risks that could go wrong in CS are easier to deal with than lasting pelvic floor damage or tears?

@coffeeandrainbows1. With my first I had a planned section and we met at 36 weeks and set the date for 38 weeks (although I ended up having an emergency at 37 weeks 🤦🏻‍♀️). Planned section again this time and we’re doing the same, deciding the date when I see her at 36 weeks.

@MrsB2019x congratulations!!💖💖

@coffeeandrainbows1 I think it depends on the circumstance. I know someone who has their c-section booked for 7 week's time because they know she will definitely be having one and there is no other safe way for her to deliver. I think as ELCS are not usually scheduled for earlier than 37 weeks anyway and a lot can change during pregnancy, they don't like to have a rigid plan before this time?

@LyraShaeLilly I feel the same. I’ve been debating pressing for a planned CS. I just feel really concerned about doing lasting damage down there and pretty terrified of giving birth. But a small other part of me wonders if I will feel like I missed out. Would be interested in others views. How difficult is it to get one of you want it?

Just an update on my cramping. It’s got quite a lot better but I finally spoke to EPI this morning. They insisted that if there wasn’t any bleeding and the pain wasn’t getting progressively worse I didn’t need to worry (if I was earlier on they would have scanned me for risk of ectopic bit given they know baby is in the right place they don’t need to). I feel a bit better but I’m going to have a private scan at the weekend to put my mind at rest. Thanks again for advice

@Jessicapebbles thanks, that’s really interesting. I think I’ve realised trying to plan for this now is a bit silly and I should probably see how it goes when LO arrives.

@BertieBotts ah, half an hour free time for a long commute, hopefully it’ll work out and you’ll get chill time when he can go full days!

@LottSE20 hope it goes well at the weekend and the cramping stops!

This c-section talk is really interesting. I was reading up on it at the weekend and think I will request one out of sheer terror at the thought of giving birth. I had a panic though, what if they book you in and you go into Labour naturally? Just the thought is making my palms sweat!

My seraphine leggings arrived today. Quick delivery, very soft and comfy but a bit see through round the bum. I got the small but they’re very roomy and I’m 5ft 9ish and they’re fine length wise. Not sure worth £30 though. Bit sad I’m 17 weeks now and just looking bloated, would like a bump now!

@LottSE20 I had to have a planned c-section as my daughter was breech from 31 weeks and the ECV to turn her didn't work. I was devastated. I did hypnobirthing and had my heart set on midwife let birth centre birth and when I knew I couldn't have that I felt like my dream experience had been taken away from me. In the end it was a positive experience but yes, I massively feel like I've missed out on something. I know it doesn't make me any less of a mother and it had no effect on my instant bond with my baby but going through vaginal childbirth is something that I have always wanted.

I'm hoping for a vbac this time around. I'm rational and I know the most important thing is for my baby to be born safely but at the same time I can't get my head around the possibility of possibly having all of my children (I think we will be done at 2 kids) without even experiencing labour.

I know it might seem extreme and I've had many people say to me I was lucky to not go through the pain of labour and I haven't missed out on anything but honestly, those comments just rub salt in the wound.

@Inmypjsagain my friend was booked in for an ELCS due to past birth trauma. She went into labour before the date. They continued with the c-section but I think it is then classed as an EMCS. I think it also depends how advanced labour is once you get to hospital and they assess you. Sometimes it's safer to then proceed to deliver vaginally or it might be too late to get you prepped for surgery, or the woman has changed her mind. They usually schedule ELCS for 39 weeks to the risk of the woman going into labour is reduced.

Thank you @wimbler your friend has a valid reason for a c section, whereas I’m just being a wimp. I think I’ll need to read more on hypo birthing and finish reading my book to see if I can psych myself up for it. Part of me can’t help but think I’d get to the point of birth before just saying no, can’t do this and crossing my legs. Throughout this whole process I’ve almost blocked the thought of Labour out as I don’t feel ready to come to terms with it!

I hope you get to have your vbac this time around!

@Inmypjsagain hypnobirthing is really great, I'd really recommend it. the positive birth company digital pack is amazing. I learnt so much about birth and what your body goes through on there. it's really educational. I used a lot of the techniques for my c-section too. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a c-section. There is so much stigma still around a woman's wish for how to birth her baby. how you feel and what you feel is right for you is valid no matter what.

Feeling quite guilty at the moment - DH has asked if his family would be able to stay with us at the end of August (they live abroad and we've not seen them since last August) and I've said I'd not be happy with that - maybe his parents at a push but not his nephews (6 & 8). I adore all of them but just don't think I'll feel up to it at either 42 weeks gone and possibly going into labour with them there, or with a tiny newborn.

Anyone who has done it before, was that the right call? Or would it be OK?

@biscuitcat oh gosh no I couldn't think of anything worse than a house full of guests, especially small children! Day time guests only was my rule. perhaps they could rent an airbnb nearby instead as a compromise?

@wimbler thank you, I just feel like I have no “reason” for one apart from fear of pain and unknown? But I do need to process it because there’s always a chance a section isn’t possible. Thank you for your support though, I feel less useless now!

@biscuitcat I have no experience of being heavily pregnant or having a newborn but I think if my DH asked this he’d get a stern look in reply. As Wimbler said maybe they can stay somewhere local but are you really going to be wanting daily visitors with a tiny baby, while you’re sleep deprived and in recovery? Personally think you made the right call!

@biscuitcat OMG definite NO to that. Can you find an AirBnB nearby?

@Inmypjsagain another option is to request an epidural straight off admittance to delivery ward. The potential is there then for a straightforward natural delivery with no painful labouring.
Also look at perineal massage to help avoid tearing. This was recommended in my NHS antenatal classes but not NCT. I'm bitter because I did them (got DH to 😂) but ended up with EMCS.

@biscuitcat there are so many variables around birth. I'd totally request they AirB&B somewhere nearby, for their own comfort as well as mine x

16 week appointment this morning and all was well. Heard he/she heart beating away. Was lovely🥰🥰 my arm is killing after my hooping cough jab though!

Regarding birth I'm actually really excited at the thought of giving birth again I don't know if that makes me weird🤣🙈

@wimbler @Inmypjsagain @BertieBotts @Alittlexmasmagic thank you all! I'm glad I wasn't being totally unreasonable, and hopefully they'll be happy getting an air bnb (or if they're not, at least that they don't complain to me!!)

Is anyone else still experiencing fatigue into the 2nd trimester? I am fine in the mornings but absolutely drop off in the afternoon and want a nap.

@biscuitcat sounds like you made the right choice. It will be nice to have them visit but a bit much to expect to have them all in the house!

@Inmypjsagain I would recommend checking out hypnobirthing. Even if you decide to/end up having a c-section, hypnobirthing can help chill you out and get you in the right mindset for the birth either way. It really just seems like a set of tools to deal with anxiety and fear around birth, and to feel empowered. This will be my first baby, and for some reason I am not scared of having a c-section if that's what i need, but I feel really terrified of having an episiotomy. Hypnobirthing is helping me deal with that little by little.

@WolfMother326 yes I am. I alllllmost had an afternoon nap today (wfh and can felixi work within reason). I wasn't so successful at fighting the urge yesterday though! I have a nap every weekend without fail 🙈 and also spend my evenings lazing on the sofa 😳

Yes, I've been tired throughout my other pregnancies as well. It's not quite as bad in the second trimester. It gets worse again in the third due to the physical effort of lugging the bump around and the fact your lungs etc are all squished up so you can't breathe properly!

Hello, I have been following this chat but only just decided to post! New to mumsnet so trying to get the hang of it!! I’m due on the 10th of August and anxiously awaiting my 20 week scan on the 24th when we will find out 🎀 or 💙 thought it would be nice to join the chat because we are all going through the same things! Thanks

Congratulations @MrsB2019x 💗

@WolfMother326 yes, I seem to have spurts and then I just want to curl up.

@biscuitcat right choice, DH will come around. Like you say, don’t want to host either when you’re going into labour or have a newborn. Especially if it coincides with majority of DH paternity leave, that time, id imagine you’d want as much time together as poss.

Does anyone else not ‘feel’ pregnant? Feeling a bit anxious that I don’t feel how I should xx

@biscuitcat Omg absolutely not, I would hate a house full at so far gone/early newborn days! I wouldn’t even have DH’s parents stay personally but I’m a grumpy sod and like my space 😂 think as the others have suggested an Airbnb might be a good compromise

Glad your appointment went well @lucyrp! I just got home from mine and they let me listen to baby’s heartbeat too 🥰

@Inmypjsagain I get it, childbirth can be quite frightening! Just please don’t underestimate the recovery of a CS either, a CS definitely isn’t the easy way out and recovery can be quite a long process. I’m sure you’ll research extensively and decide on what’s best for you, just wanted to add it in there ☺️