August 2021 - Heading into the second trimester

[BertieBotts]

Old thread was about to fill up again

I will try to get to the car seat/pram Qs in a bit...

@wimbler - EDD 29 July, having a surprise! 💛
@Champson - EDD 22 August (but really June/July), TBC 💛💛💛
@Jessicapebbles - EDD 5 August (but having C-section at 39 weeks, so really July) 💛
@smurf123 - EDD 5 August (but likely to be July) 💛
@WhatEvenIsSleep EDD 2 August, TBC 💛
@Smushty14 - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Rattyclife - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Biscuitcat - EDD 10 August, having a surprise! 💛
@runnergirl123 - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@PurplePansy05 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@BananaHammock23 - EDD 13 August, surprise 💛
@MrsB2019x - EDD 13 August, TBC 💛
@Magik01 - EDD 13 August, TBC 💛
@Carefree1 - EDD 15 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@DressyGerbera - EDD 15 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, undecided 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, want to know! 💛
@Whatshouldbemyusername - EDD 16 August, TBC 💛
@WolfMother326 - EDD 17 August, surprise 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@WatermelonKisses - EDD 20 August, surprise 💛
@alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@Millymay13 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August, TBC 💛
@northernsquirrel- EDD 31 August, surprise 💛

That's a really bitchy comment from a specialist MW @LaceyMermaid, clearly not as specialist as she'd like to think she is. It's pure lack of professionalism and unhelpful of her to say this to you. You're absolutely right, many, many women have children at 38 and older, I mean look at most of us on here, we're largely around mid-30s mark and most are still planning more DCs, it IS normal. It just sometimes happens that the risks are higher. I am very sceptical when it comes to statistics, in reality someone always makes the bad ones and it's bad luck - but the fact you're 38 in itself doesn't determine the outcome. I went through recurrent miscarriages between 32 and 33, both DH and I healthy, I looked after myself and didn't even drink bloody coffee daily which I love. Boom, three MCs, no reason discovered despite testing. It wasn't supposed to happen, I wasn't supposed to be that 1% of women who go through this. Everyone I know said, oh but you're under 35, oh there must be a reason, blah blah blah. The fact is I have at least 10 friends with healthy babies born between 39 and 45, none of them went through the same as me. Please don't get yourself riddled with anxiety because of your age and statistics - they are just that, numbers. These things can happen to anyone regardless of age and it really doesn't have to be you, you got to think this way unless you have 100% certainty which only amnio/CVS could provide. You have every chance of things being fine 💐🙏 xx

@WolfMother326 I’ve never looked at the skull theory but from nub I was say it’s borderline but I’d sway more towards boy!

@Inmypjsagain I’m 29 and I’ve got one daughter, she is going to be 3 on 16th August and this baby is going to come end of July/beginning August. So perfect timing for her to do her 30 hours at nursery whilst I’m at home with our 2nd girl! Initially when I was pregnant, I was adamant I wanted to wait a few months and try again straight away...but once she was here, she was such a good baby and I felt totally like she was enough and totally lost the urge to have another immediately. We started trying for this one last May and unfortunately had 2 miscarriages before falling pregnant with girlie number 2! Hopefully once they’re here you will have a clearer picture in your mind ❤️

@Inmypjsagain unfortunately not yet, as he is only going for 2.5 hours and by the time I've got all the way home I have 30 mins to sit down and then I have to leave again to pick him up! We chose it as it's next to DH's office but well he's now working from home due to the pandemic - and also while he's working FT he can't really stop in the middle of the day to go and pick him up. I'm not doing anything else so I might as well do it, but I can't drive so I have to take two trams and a bus!

Oh, but the plan is for him to go full time eventually so hopefully it will work out. That will be a lot of chill time for me. I'm planning to do more blogging and an online course, otherwise I'll probably sit around all day and scroll facebook and get depressed.

@LaceyMermaid, sorry to hear your news and the associated anxiety that must be causing. Big virtual hugs to you & your OH.

I am fuming at your MW response! I am 39, like you I had thought about the risks, and what ifs. I also have lots of friends who have started families later in life without problem (and with the benefits of financial security, stable relationship and life experience).

I second the recommendation of reading a copy of expecting better. It really
Explains the risks, and also the potential for false positives etc. very well, and maybe good to digest before any more
Conversations with health professionals?

If it’s any consolation, I would do exactly the same as you are, take a staged approach, try to stay calm, wait for the NIPT, then have a discussion about amnio/other options if you feel different after NIPT.

Do you have some time off/ good support whilst your head adjusts?

@PurplePansy05 @HopefulB thank you both. I will look into that book too. To be honest I was so shocked I don’t think I knew what to say, I just don’t think in that situation it was helpful at all!
My work I’ve been good as I received the call while I was at work last Monday. I’m a teacher so I requested I could just do the online learning not the in school keyworker children until I know the result so I can’t take any phone calls easily as obviously I can’t do that at work. Obviously with schools returning on Monday it’s making me worry I won’t be able to go and my class will wonder where I am but hopefully it won’t come to that.
@PurplePansy05 I know what you mean about statistics and I’m sorry to hear all you’ve gone through. My best friend is a year older than me and pregnant also and she got a low risk result so I’m just hoping that it was my slightly on the high end of normal NT measurement plus my slightly raised hcg tipped me into high risk. I have 3 older children to consider in all of this too and how it would affect their life. I’m trying not to think too much about any of that right now! I realise I’m really lucky to have three healthy children already and I am so thankful for them. I did have a private scan on Monday and they said everything looked normal to them and they would expect to see abnormalities with the head in DS so hoping that’s true. I only 15 weeks today so couldn’t have had the amnio last week anyway so seemed best to have the NIPT and go from there.

@LaceyMermaid sorry about what you’re feeling. I agree with @PurplePansy05 and @HopefulB - I am 35 too and was thinking of all this. I have friends who are younger and older who have all had different pregnancies and MC - end of the day it is each individual and all depends on numbers.

I also recommend expecting better. That book is great for proving “old theories” false.

We’re all here for you but please make sure you have some time for self care and breathing 3 deep breaths everytime something becomes too much. Something simple like breathing can help ease the mind and emotions along x

@LaceyMermaid I hope the NIPT will reassure you, however until then, please know you're not alone. The ARC is there for completely impartial information, even at this stage. If you need to, give them a call.x
www.arc-uk.org/

@Inmypjsagain we started trying when DS was just gone 4 and didn't get pregnant until he was 5 and a half so by the time baby gets here he'll be just gone 6. Like you said it doesn't always go to plan!

@LaceyMermaid what a horrible thing to say! Not surprised though. Not overly impressed with health professionals myself 😒

@Whatshouldbemyusername @Alittlexmasmagic thank you both. I’ve had a look at ARC as the midwife suggested it and it is helpful so thank you. I do normally suffer with anxiety so the deep breath thing is helpful, although I have been surprisingly calm the last few days. As my DH says we can’t change the result so we just have to see what happens. I’m hoping my wait is nearly over.

@lucyrp no not helpful at all! She also kept saying I could call her with any questions but spent 99% of the time telling me how busy she was and how she didn’t really have time to do my NIPT test last week! I was obviously an inconvenience! Despite the fact I was paying for it too!

@LaceyMermaid I forgot to say hello earlier when you joined aswell as I remember your name off the bus I was on too! That's awful. Its terrible how bad the care can be

@lucyrp yes hi I remember you too! I suppose she probably is really busy but for the woman it’s a massive thing to be processing at that time so I bit of compassion wouldn’t go a miss!

@LaceyMermaid I have my 16 week appointment tomorrow so wonder what kind of delights I'm in store for there. Got to tell her I'm changing birth units too so basically breaking up with my midwife so not sure how that will go down🙈

@LaceyMermaid There's no reason 3 healthy children cannot become 4 ❤ I'm keeping everything crossed for you. If your NIPT was done privately you can call them and chase up the results, if on the NHS I am not sure. In any event, I hope it's positive news for you. FWIW whatever that result is and your decision, we'll be here to support you ❤ xx

@lucyrp I wouldn’t worry if it’s the last time you’re going to see her! Maybe they should think why people are changing care!

@PurplePansy05 thank you. I did it through NHS which I’m now not sure if it was a good idea or not! She said I should hear by Friday so to call her after 3 on Friday if I haven’t heard. I’m hoping to hear before then not only for the obvious reasons but because my work will want to know her her I need cover for my class or not for Monday. I had the SAFE test which goes to St George’s hospital London for testing and they say turnaround is 5-7 calendar days and today is day 6. Thank you for all your support it’s really kind. Not many people at work know I’m pregnant yet and I won’t be able to hide it much longer so that’s on my mind too! But then I guess if it’s bad news I won’t be going back for a bit until we’ve had time to think.

Evening everyone ☺️

Our scan went amazingly, we are having a girl! ☺️ She was sat on her legs a lot and wouldn’t open them so I was having to jump and move around a LOT to get her to cooperate 🤣 I also can’t believe I can’t feel any movement yet, she is SO active. She really does kick the crap out of me! 😂

Have updated my heart on the list ☺️

@wimbler - EDD 29 July, surprise 💛
@Champson - EDD 22 August (but really June/July), TBC 💛💛💛
@coffeeandrainbows1- EDD 4 August (but most likely July), Boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - EDD 5 August (but having C-section at 39 weeks, so really July), Girl 💖
@Smurf123 - EDD 5 August (but likely to be July) 💛
@WhatEvenIsSleep - EDD 2 August, Boy 💙
@Smushty14 - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Rattyclife - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@lovelsa - EDD 9 August, Boy 💙
@Biscuitcat - EDD 10 August, surprise 💛
@ElonaWise - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@Runnergirl123 - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@PurplePansy05 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@Srtdr - EDD 12 August, surprise 💛
@BananaHammock23 - EDD 13 August, surprise 💛
@MrsB2019x - EDD 13 August, Girl 💖
@Magik01 - EDD 13 August, TBC 💛
@Carefree1 - EDD 15 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@DressyGerbera - EDD 15 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, undecided 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, want to know! 💛
@WolfMother326 - EDD 17 August, surprise 💛
@caz1226 - EDD 17 August, TBC 💛
@Lille4 - EDD 17 August, TBC 💛
@Redskinsucks - EDD 17 August, TBC 💛
@RockyRockyRoad - EDD 18 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@WatermelonKisses - EDD 20 August, surprise 💛
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@Millymay13 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Whatshouldbemyusername - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August, TBC 💛
@LaceyMermaid - EDD 24 August, TBC 💛
@Fran919 - EDD 25 August, surprise 💛
@northernsquirrel - EDD 26 August, surprise 💛
@LyraShaeLilly - EDD 27 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, TBC 💛
@diamante11 - EDD 29 August, Girl 💖
@HopefulB - EDD 29 August, TBC 💛

@LaceyMermaid Sorry your midwife was less than helpful! I’d have been seething 😠 hope your NIPT results come back swiftly and don’t leave you hanging too long x

@LaceyMermaid she's actually a really nice person but not great at her job 😂

@MrsB2019x congrats on your girl 💞🥰

@MrsB2019x ah congrats! It always amazes me how much they move in there and we can’t feel it!

@MrsB2019x wonderful news! Congratulations 💖

@LaceyMermaid so sorry you’re going through all this stress and that you’ve been treated without the respect and care you deserve.

@Millymay13 thank you

Thank you @lucyrp @LaceyMermaid & @Whatshouldbemyusername 🥰