August 2021 - Heading into the second trimester

[BertieBotts]

Old thread was about to fill up again

I will try to get to the car seat/pram Qs in a bit...

@wimbler - EDD 29 July, having a surprise! 💛
@Champson - EDD 22 August (but really June/July), TBC 💛💛💛
@Jessicapebbles - EDD 5 August (but having C-section at 39 weeks, so really July) 💛
@smurf123 - EDD 5 August (but likely to be July) 💛
@WhatEvenIsSleep EDD 2 August, TBC 💛
@Smushty14 - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Rattyclife - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Biscuitcat - EDD 10 August, having a surprise! 💛
@runnergirl123 - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@PurplePansy05 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@BananaHammock23 - EDD 13 August, surprise 💛
@MrsB2019x - EDD 13 August, TBC 💛
@Magik01 - EDD 13 August, TBC 💛
@Carefree1 - EDD 15 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@DressyGerbera - EDD 15 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, undecided 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, want to know! 💛
@Whatshouldbemyusername - EDD 16 August, TBC 💛
@WolfMother326 - EDD 17 August, surprise 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@WatermelonKisses - EDD 20 August, surprise 💛
@alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@Millymay13 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August, TBC 💛
@northernsquirrel- EDD 31 August, surprise 💛

@Jessicapebbles also sorry how exciting you heard the heartbeat too!!!

The moral of the story is really childcare is very expensive everywhere and those actually doing the childcare work aren’t being paid enough in comparison to the fees we’ll be paying!

Oh and don’t get me started on SMP, I could rant for ages but I’ll save you all from the word vomit!

@MrsB2019x tbh I’m wishing I hadn’t looked 🙈

as @PurplePansy05 says we’ll all get by because we have to. But sometimes sitting down and doing the math is 😱 and you wonder how everyone does manage it?!? Anyway ladies I’d say it’s worth buying a Euromillions ticket just in case. £180million would definitely help buy me that bugaboo!!!

Sorry, I didn't intend to drag everyone to worrying about the finances, in my job it's what I do a lot of the time and I sometimes forget to take my financial planner hat off when it comes to my personal stuff. It is unhelpful to think too far ahead, lots can change and there's enough to consider on a daily basis, not to mention a year or longer ahead. It's not even helping me, even though I like to be prepared for the worst case scenario, I probably would feel better not knowing too much detail too soon. I'll try not to think too much. Sorry again. xx

Hi all,

Interesting about nursery fees, I’ve not even looked but previously an early years teacher so I’m sure I’ll be my own worst nightmare trying to decide when it comes to it.

Has anyone had any pink / lightly bloodied discharge, it’s appeared today at 13w6. I went on an 8 mile walk yesterday and just wondering if I’ve done damage? I was tired but not pushing myself, before conceiving I walked and hiked regularly. No idea what to do other than to monitor it x

@PurplePansy05 personally I'm one of those people who factored in child care costs before even falling pregnant as I wanted to know what to expect. My personality type likes to know every scenario before the event! That said, we still didn't have a solid plan until our first was about 9 months old. Don't be sorry!

On another note, is anyone taking magnesium supplements? I was taking them before I was pregnant but stopped but want to start again to see if it will help my sleep and fatigue. I don't take a pregnancy multivitamin but I see they contain magnesium so I'm guessing it's not unsafe

Don't worry at all @PurplePansy05, the whole nice thing about this little group is we have a space to share worries!

@Inmypjsagain we sadly didn't win last week when it was £176m 😂 and I'm not even being greedy, a measly £5m or so would do me just fine! (Which also happens to be the amount DH and I agreed we need to win for me to buy my dream watch, a bargain at £100k...)

@wimbler I was taking pregnancy multivitamins and my sleep was still awful. Just taking vit D now but interested to see if magnesium would help x

@wimbler I sort of did too two years ago, then 3 MCs later the whole lot of circumstances have changed and now all my careful planning has gone to pot! I should just let it go, life has taught me a lesson! xx

I didn't really factor in childcare when ttc as my mum works an evening and weekend job and had DS for me for the first 4 years until school so was so good but this time she's back doing nursery leading a couple of mornings a week with opportunity for it to expand to all day all week and because she won't be able to retire until she's like 70 odd or more she doesn't know whether she can afford to give this job up for 4 years and look after my DC and then find another job. But then on the other hand she doesn't want to be working all of the time. There's also the possibility that the school where she works may be closing so obviously she wouldn't be doing thag then. So many different things that could happen so I'm not worrying about it until closer to the time when we know the actual outcomes. Well have to find a way somehow!

@Fran919 it’s likely nothing, you could just give your midwife a call to put your mind at ease. There’s a lot more blood flow to your bits at the moment, so could be anything!

@Inmypjsagain yes!! I’m all for a euromillions win and like you, not greedy, just a few million would be lovely. I don’t want to let the money get to my head!

Don’t be sorry @PurplePansy05, it’s a good place to get out concerns and I’m sure people feel relieved when they see someone feeling the same way (I know I do) xx

I might have to start getting some new bras, I didn’t think my boobs had grown, but my nipples seem to do peek a boo at the moment 🤦‍♀️

Oh @PurplePansy05 don’t apologise! This place is great for airing concerns and it’s good to be prepared, we’d have to look at some point 😊 x

I’d be happy with 5mil too... let’s hope we all win tonight 😂

@wimbler I took magnesium and calcium supplements prior to being pregnant and would love to take them again. I think I googled the dosage i was taking was too high for pregnancy so stopped- I have a call with my midwife next week so might ask her then? I should add to my list of questions!

@Fran919 sorry I missed your post, 8 miles! I’m so impressed, I basically walk to the living room and back! As you say monitor and I’d still mention to your midwife/gp so it’s on their radar. My midwife told me a bit of spotting can be normal and to not panic, (easier said than done) but to let her know x

@Inmypjsagain I’m still sick if that’s any consolation. It’s a bit less constant but it gets progressively worse during the day and by the eve I’m retching over the toilet. I’m really hoping it goes away soon.

All this childcare talk is making me feel massively unprepared- I hadn’t even begun to think about it!

For me the time is really dragging - I’m dying to get to the stage where I have a proper bump and start feeling movement. If it wasn’t for my queasy evenings I barely feel pregnant

I did actually have an awful dream recently where is imagined it all!

I'm taking the pregnancy supplement with magnesium and calcium and I'm not sure if it helps with sleep tbh. I guess hard to compare against what I'd sleep like without it, but overall I am sleeping worse than pre-pregnancy. Only the pillow has helped tbh. Interestingly, MW told me today that I might start waking up around 3-ish am, she said it's very common and it's our bodies preparing for the night feeds. I have had quite a few nights being up between 3/4/5am, just awake. The vivid dreams are also getting weirder and weirder, people I've not seen in years are in them this week

Also this week I've had flutters, I still don't know if it's movement because I don't know how to recognise it 😳 and it is quite early. Having said that, at 12 week scan the MW said it looks like I have anterior placenta which may mean feeling movement sooner. Would be interested to hear how to recognise the first movements! xx

@PurplePansy05 no it’s good you brought it up. It’s now something in the back of my mind that wouldn’t have been considered yet. I will look at it thanks x

*posterior placenta, not anterior, sorry! xx

@Jessicapebbles we are really lucky actually, it's not funded hours as such but the funding goes directly to the childcare provider so the prices are capped. The staff are actually paid really well as well. It's a highly qualified and respected position.

We pay €450 a month for full time for DS2, when he turns 3 that will drop down to €207. You can only do full time or half time, there's no option to do a lower number of days and pay less, but this doesn't really matter because it's so reasonable to begin with. Some nurseries have a policy that children must attend every day (except for illness etc), others have a minimum number of days - usually 3 or 4 - but some don't mind how many days you bring them.

Another good feature is that if you have 2 or more children in childcare at the same time, you only pay the food costs for the second, third, etc one. The food costs at ours are about €120, which is unusually high as a proportion. When you have multiple children in childcare, you pay the full fee for the most expensive ie the youngest. This is actually specific to our city - but even people outside the city get roughly 50-60% discount for the second child and the third+ is usually free or just food costs.

We can also claim up to €6000 in childcare costs back a year in tax, of which 2/3 of the cost is refunded. So you can get potentially up to €4,000 back although not until a year and a half or so later.

They do go to school 2 years later so you are paying childcare costs for an extra 2 years. The nurseries usually close for three weeks over the summer, and sometimes a week at Christmas and Easter. And then most schools are morning only so you have the headache of trying to find a school that covers afternoons, or after school clubs, but in general I think it's a good system! If only it wasn't so tricky and complicated to get a place.

@MrsB2019x, you’re ahead of me - I’m still deliberating on maternity wear!

Re maternity leave, how long are people thinking of taking? I’m considering 7 months... although that means going back just as the weather will be nicer. That said I function much better in summer, so maybe it’s a good time to embrace the change I haven’t a clue how I plan to transport a small person at that stage as I currently cycle everywhere.

@LottSE20 oh sorry to hear you’re still sick too! No fun. I’m the opposite to you I think, start off sick, feel okay enough to eat by about 2pm... afternoon okay then then evening nausea creeps back in, gets worse over night and peaks in the morning. Repeat cycle. I think the sickness makes the whole drag more tbh!

@PurplePansy05 so interesting about 3am- that’s my daily wake up call, 3-4am without fail, normally eating a biscuit! This is cruel surely we should bank sleep while we’re able too!

I’m convinced I felt flutters as it’s a feeling like no other, but my scan results say I’m anterior placenta so shouldn’t feel as much which makes me think it’s just a new type of wind 😬 id imagine if posterior you could be by now which is very exciting! You’ve also got a great bump going on (v jel!)

@HopefulB I’m aiming to take as long as possible off so the full 12 months plus leave- am on SMP though so it’s going to be tight!

I'm planning on taking 8 months maternity. Would have loved a year but can't afford it! Pretty lucky as my partner works nights so my plan is to get a flexible childminder for mornings and then my partner will watch the baby while i work in the afternoon!
After chatting at work I think I can push for really flexible WFH arrangements so feel a bit better now!

@BertieBotts Wow!! That sounds great. I think I need to come and set up in Germany 😂 I’m highly qualified in Childcare/safeguarding/SEND and got paid pittance over here - hence the easy decision to pack it in to spend time with my brood 💖
Really interesting though!!

@PurplePansy05 - The only way I could describe it in the beginning was as if you had a couple of bits of popcorn popping in your lower belly every now and again 🤭. I notice it more when I’m in the bath, sneeze or eat 😂

I am hoping grandparents can help out, I know some of you mentioned about paying family for childcare help, That did not cross my mind, will have to have a chat once baby is here.

I think children need to go to childcare, it’s healthy so then can socialise and see mum and dad go to work and be without them for a couple of days, it’s worth it in the long run to pay the childcare and still have skills in the workplace.

I am surprised at how many companies only ofer basic mat pay. My husband I are do the same job but in different companies and mine pay is 9 months enhanced pay and 3 months unpaid, and I have the option to average this pay over 12 months. But DH company women only get 6 weeks paid. I personally think all mat leave should be 6 months paid, and 6 months half pay. I heard in Germany mat leave is about 2 years and paid at 90% of pay - is that correct.

I also feel childcare should be free to all, I think parents would work more in these circumstances and therefore pay more tax to cover this. This would be my policy is I was ever made PM!!!

@LyraShaeLilly

I am hoping grandparents can help out, I know some of you mentioned about paying family for childcare help, That did not cross my mind, will have to have a chat once baby is here.

I think children need to go to childcare, it’s healthy so then can socialise and see mum and dad go to work and be without them for a couple of days, it’s worth it in the long run to pay the childcare and still have skills in the workplace.

I am surprised at how many companies only ofer basic mat pay. My husband I are do the same job but in different companies and mine pay is 9 months enhanced pay and 3 months unpaid, and I have the option to average this pay over 12 months. But DH company women only get 6 weeks paid. I personally think all mat leave should be 6 months paid, and 6 months half pay. I heard in Germany mat leave is about 2 years and paid at 90% of pay - is that correct.

I also feel childcare should be free to all, I think parents would work more in these circumstances and therefore pay more tax to cover this. This would be my policy is I was ever made PM!!!

Yeah I work for a huge company and I only get 16 weeks full pay (better than some) but my salary then goes down by £2000 when it's statutory so just can't justify that long off!

NHS is 8weeks @full pay, 18weeks at 50% + SMP and then 13weeks at SMP.

So no doubts better than some, but not as generous as some private companies.

@Fran919 nice one on the 8miles! I’ve not made it back to that sort of distance yet- did 8.5km yesterday. Try not to worry (much easier said than done) bleeding can be completely normal, and may be totally unrelated to the walking, I’d give the midwife or EPAU a call though for some reassurance and possibly a scan?

Still having strange dreams & headaches, and have progressed from constipation to wind (TMI?!), but the nausea and fatigue seem to be getting better - and my boobs have stopped being so tender (but still seem huge!). No weight gain yet - presumably that starts soon? (Although my bmi was over 25 Pre preg, so I don’t need to build any fat reserves!). Sorry to hear some are still feeling puky, hope that clears soon. How are other symptoms doing?