Pregnancy after loss - Autumn babies 2021

[Pancakes7]

Hi All, I have only just got my BFP and it's still faint atm. I had an mmc in May 2018, I then gave birth to my son May 2019. I had another mmc July 2020 and have been ttc ever since. I just got my BFP yesterday, so very early days. I'm not ready to join both groups quite yet. I thought this could be a space for us all going through pregnancy after loss. As we all understand the nerves/anxiety that go with this. I hope it's useful.

A bit of back ground on me. I'm 33, married. I have a 20 month old son. I haven't returned to work yet since maternity. I returned for 2 weeks then was put on furlough. I will be going back part time, doing 3 days.

Aw @PumpkinEverything I'm so sorry, you are having a rough day! Pets are so important to us, and it's really sad your stepdad's lost both his cats so close together.

My mum lives alone and her much beloved cat got hit by a car last year, he miraculously survived in the end but now I do spend a truly disproportionate amount of time worried he'll get hit again and she'll be left on her own.

I hope you manage to relax for the evening, take care of yourself ❤️

@PumpkinEverything I'm sorry you're having a hard day. I hope your walk helps clear your head and take your mind off things.

I'm not feeling pregnant at all this afternoon. I still find it odd that I'm not more unwell like I was in my previous 3 pregnancies. I feel like I've almost imagined it all 🙈

Thanks @Pancakes7 @vitaminb33 yesterday was just a horrible day!
It’s awful isnt @vitaminb33 they’re just like little family members, and I just know my stepdad is going to be devastated by this. It’s also harder because of lockdown and being away from people, and I’m obviously even a bit more scared of it all being pregnant too.

Got a nice shower and washed my hair, and then had tortellini for dinner and crepes for dessert and watched a comedy to cheer myself up. Feel a little bit better today, and my boobs feel a little bit sore again. I think it’s hard sometimes to know whether they hurt or it’s just me poking at them haha.

Good morning ladies! @PumpkinEverything glad you had a lovely evening! Sounds perfect! Did we have any scans this week? I can’t recall. I know we have at least two next week - @Pancakes7 and me and I think someone has their scan this Sunday?
Let’s all be grateful for our miracles growing in our bodies! Let’s focus on the love we give to them and they give to us! I’m on a spiritual path today and I am grateful for this wonderful healthy baby growing inside of me! Xxx

Thanks @Firevie 😊 it’s me that has a scan this Sunday. This is my reassurance scan at EPU that they offered me after my MMC, as they said I could come up when I was pregnant again at around the time I found out last time, which is really nice of them!

@Firevie It's @PumpkinEverything that has her second scan on Sunday. I'm glad you're feeling so positive today. I am still unsure if I do have a healthy baby growing or not so I'm keeping very hypothetical atm. Trying to be positive but I have moments where I am so worried but nothing I can do so will just continue the wait.

@PumpkinEverything glad you're feeling a little better!

I had a rough night's sleep (including a not so fun vivid dream about waking up covered in blood), and a tiny bit of light brown discharge this morning so I'm feeling pessimistic today. 🤷‍♀️

I hate those dreams @vitaminb33 ! I’ve had a few of them as well and woke up in a panic to check myself. So hard to get that worry out of your head to stop it becoming a dream/nightmare 🤦‍♀️

I totally get all the scares and anxieties. I keep touching my boobs all the time lol! But I am trying to steer away from the anxiety. As I believe in manifesting what you think and feel about into your life.
@PumpkinEverything yay not long to go until Sunday now. How many weeks will you be? Sunday is like literally around the corner :) xxx

@Firevie I’ve been trying hard to do the same, and tried to keep on with my calm and relaxed way after being off for Christmas, before I even got pregnant. And just letting myself be excited about it. Just hard sometimes as I get a few moments of anxiety like yesterday! I had a private scan last Tuesday and was in good spirits after that until yesterday 🤦‍♀️
I’ll be 8+6 next Sunday. I wanted to go when I was 9 weeks, but I’d rather go on Sunday so I don’t have to tell work I need time off as I’m not ready to share with my manager yet 😊

I've been really worried this week too even after a positive scan two weeks ago. I think it is because my dating scan is still so far away (3 weeks) and our Facebook group has had some bad news recently. I've bit the bullet and booked a scan for after work tomorrow. I'm in the office for the day and the scan place is a 2 minute walk from work so couldn't resist. My husband is going to meet me there as he is allowed in with me. Fingers crossed everything is still progressing well 🙏

@MrsTD88 everything will be fine! How far along are you today? Must be somewhere around 9weeks? Fingers crossed for you tmr xxx

@Firevie thank you,.sometimes I feel I need to give myself a shake! I am 11 weeks today based on LMP but closer to 10 based on my cycles and my last scan. I think because my dating scan is later than usual (apparently we are in a baby boom at the moment) that has added to my anxiety. Hopefully all goes well tomorrow and I can begin to relax a little Xx

Have noticed that too @MrsTD88 about all the bad news 😔 can’t help but worry you’ll get the same news when you read it a few times.
Good idea on the scan though! That’ll help you get through the next few weeks if you see everything is okay, and it’s such a short wait now.
I’m really hoping to get my letter soon so I know when mine will be. My midwife mentioned it being busy in my area so there could be a delay, and since my scan last week showed I was bang on with my dates (actually a day ahead) I really don’t want to be waiting much longer. If I have to wait until I’m 13-14 weeks I’ll probably book another private scan at 12 weeks too I think

@PumpkinEverything it really doesn't help the anxiety. I think it will stop me from worrying for a while and if there is anything wrong I can call EPU on Friday morning but hopefully it doesn't come to that. I hope your letter comes soon, having notice for work is important too. I haven't told work yet but if all goes well tomorrow I'll tell the Director of my department as my dating scan is at 10.50 and I'll be away for a few hours. Is your scan at EPU at the same hospital you'll be having your dating scan? They may be able to check the system for you to see if an appointment has been made... it may just be the mail is slow in getting to you.

Good idea @MrsTD88 what time is your scan tomorrow?
I’m hoping to just say to my manager I have a hospital appointment and because he knows about my MMC I don’t know if he’ll think it’s in relation to that. I could actually be lucky and be off that day if it works out but it’s hard to know. I’ll be 12 weeks on 29th March, and I’m actually only working that day and then off the rest of the week as I had holidays to take, so if it’s any of those days it would be perfect for me! That’s a good idea about asking actually. It seems to be I could be either at the same hospital, or the local health clinic to there, apparently they’re using both as they’re so busy, but I could maybe ask and see if they know!

@MrsTD88 I’m 10+3 today and booked a scan the weekend just gone for this Sunday coming. I also have to wait 3 weeks for my dating scan and I just started to feel to anxious about it all!

I have had to tell work already as I needed a risk assessment, but so far it’s just the head and my TA that knows. If I can get away with it until the summer term I won’t tell anyone else at school - I want to be closer to 20weeks, I know things can still happen but I’ll feel like I can trust my body a bit more then! Not sure if I can hide it to well though - I am on my last pair of trousers that fit, and I have had to use the hairband trick around the button for now as they won’t button up. All these websites where it said I probably wouldn’t show until the second trimester - and I can’t do up any of my trousers!! In the same vain, I’m not big enough for maternity clothes - so I refuse to buy a larger size of clothes as it seems a waste seeing as I’ll be in maternity stuff eventually!

Ladies we are treating ourselves to a durum kebab wrap, lahmacun and fries. LOL! I’ve been snacking on carrots and fruits all day so felt like pigging out. Been hungry all the time must be a symptom haha xxx

@Firevie I'm so jealous! We don't have a decent Turkish restaurant where we've moved to. I'd kill for an Iskender, lamacum and hummus. Sounds like you deserve a treat. I don't - I may have eaten a whole bag of doughnuts today

@marplemead omg I love doughnuts!!! Now I want those too lol! Ok I have got to stop with these cravings lol! Xxx

@PumpkinEverything it is at 17:15 so straight after work. Will keep you all updated. I used that excuse a few times for my EPU visit and my booking bloods, I just said it was follow up from last year. I think I will make them aware soon though because I'm having so much work thrown my way at the moment, I want to give them plenty warning I'll be disappearing for 9 months 🤣 no harm in asking them, they're your records so they are obliged to tell you.

@Bellabubble it is such a long wait isn't it, I felt I was being slightly irrational but you've made me feel better for feeling anxious so thank you 😊 oh no, I am feeling my belly expanding too but lucky I can cover with baggy tops at the moment. Yes best to try and hold off for as long as possible for maternity stuff especially as the weather will be warming up soon (hopefully). I remember using a bobble on my jeans and work trousers for ages last time round until I couldn't anymore then wore leggings under baggy dresses for as long as possible. One maternity item I would reccomended is maternity leggings as they are so comfy and relatively cheap.

@Firevie that sounds amazing, enjoy your well deserved treat X

Probably a good idea to get a scan booked in just for reassurance @Bellabubble 😊 break it up a bit! You’re so close to getting to the 12 weeks though which is great 😃

Haha @Firevie I don’t know how you’re managing to be so good during the day 🙈 we done the shopping today and I bought quite a few packs of the pre packed fruit so I can try. Had yoghurt with some berries for (first 😂) breakfast, then a bowl of special k as I’ve really fancied it, then beans on toast for lunch, and then I made almond butter and strawberry jam muffins at the start of the week so I had one of those + a muller chocolate yoghurt, and then I had to have a sneaky Lindt chocolate and some pringles 😂 I was still ravenous by the time dinner came! Have just made butternut squash risotto for dinner as I finally felt like I could eat something with vegetables, and I’m stuffed now, but give it an hour and I’ll be in getting chocolate 🤦‍♀️

That’s great @MrsTD88 😊 less than 24 hours to go, I’ll be thinking of you and hope it’s good news! So handy that it’s close to your work. Haha, that’s nice of you to give them warning 😁 my works been annoying me this week and I almost feel like shouting that I’m pregnant and can everyone leave me alone and stop stressing me out 😂

@MrsTD88 I hope all goes well tomorrow, I'm sure it will. It'll be good to put your mind at rest.

@PumpkinEverything Don't worry I've been eating rubbish too. I'm not overly hungry though, so don't eat often. I'm feeling really nauseous again today. I have to force myself to eat which makes me feel better for a bit but not long. I'm trying to up my fruit too.

@Firevie Enjoy your takeaway. I'm trying to think positive about my scan next week 🤞🏻🌈

@PumpkinEverything absolutely LOVE your menu!!! Sounds so yummy! My kebab was yummy! But now so thirsty lol! Really enjoyed it. My baby enjoyed it too 😊 xxx