Pregnancy after loss - Autumn babies 2021

[Pancakes7]

Hi All, I have only just got my BFP and it's still faint atm. I had an mmc in May 2018, I then gave birth to my son May 2019. I had another mmc July 2020 and have been ttc ever since. I just got my BFP yesterday, so very early days. I'm not ready to join both groups quite yet. I thought this could be a space for us all going through pregnancy after loss. As we all understand the nerves/anxiety that go with this. I hope it's useful.

A bit of back ground on me. I'm 33, married. I have a 20 month old son. I haven't returned to work yet since maternity. I returned for 2 weeks then was put on furlough. I will be going back part time, doing 3 days.

Not long gone from my scan and thankfully all looking good so far. Measuring a couple of days behind but consultant days she's not at all worried at that at this stage as the measurements are easily out and could well go forward next time. 17w4 days today measured about 17/17w 1 on some of the measurements.

@Pancakes7 yeah you're probably right, I was thinking of trying to book private scans for 8 weeks and 10 weeks? Luckily they're pretty affordable where I am.

I think my EPU might offer me an early one but I've already had nightmares about being back in the scan room (they only have one, and I had my scan where I found out and my MVA in it), so I think I'd much rather go somewhere else for the first one.

Oh wow congratulations @Smurf123! Brilliant news 🎉🎉

@Smurf123 Brilliant news!

@vitaminb33 Yeah I booked my scan for when I'm seven weeks +4. I'm having to book another one for when I'm nine weeks +4 just for piece of mind.

@Pancakes7 I know it's crazy, I was massive by then last time. Imagine I will be bigger this time round all going well!

@MrsTD88 Yeah I know they say you get bigger the second time round 🙈 I got really bad pgp last time and was on crutches. So I'm hoping that doesn't happen again. I can't imagine looking after my son while in that much pain. It'll be worth it though 🤞🏻🌈

@Smurf123 that's great news.

@vitaminb33 I love seeing those words on a digital test, makes it feel more real 😁

@Pancakes7 oh no, hopefully this time round it doesn't affect you🤞🏻

@MrsTD88 yes it's definitely reassuring! Felt like the test took forever to process. 🤦‍♀️

@Pancakes7 funnily enough I also got awful PGP with my toddler, I stopped being able to walk (or sleep much) from a little after 20 weeks. It's such a horrible condition, none of the physiotherapists I saw were particularly good, e.g. "it should go away when you give birth" isn't the helpful advice they think it is! Fingers crossed we're both lucky this time. 🤞

@vitaminb33 Oh no fingers crossed we both have healthy babies growing and no pgp! lol 🤞🏻

Great to hear @Smurf123 😊 almost time for your 20 week scan!

Ah @vitaminb33 that sounds horrible. I’m going for a scan at EPU this Sunday in the same room as I found out last time, but I actually don’t think I could mentally deal with being in the same room I’d had an MVA in! Completely understandable if you wanted to go somewhere else

I’m so jealous of all your pregnancy symptoms. I have none still other than sore boobs and sometimes bloated feeling not today though. I keep touching my boobs to make sure they’re still painful lol! I think this will be a very long week until my 8week scan next Thursday xxx

@Firevie Don't worry enjoy the no symptoms as it's awful feeling sick and they don't mean anything anyway in my experience. My scans Friday next week. So similar to you. It feels like forever away!! 🤞🏻🌈

Thanks so much @Pancakes7 yay we will be scan buddies. Remind me again, how many weeks will you be? And will this be your first scan? I’ll be 8weeks exactly and it will be my second scan xxx

@Firevie I'll be seven weeks +4 and yeah it's my first scan. I'm so scared all I can do is hope hope 🤞🏻🌈

@Pancakes7 ah we will be v close then in terms of weeks also! I’m sure it will all go well for the both of us! Only 1.5 weeks to go haha xxx

@Firevie I'm waiting until nearly 8 weeks as with my 2 x MMC's baby stopped growing at about 6 weeks. Last time I went at 7 weeks and it C was a week behind but with a heartbeat so I naively thought it was all ok but 2 weeks later it was gone. So I'm hoping by 7 weeks +4 it should be clear what's going on. I really hope it's all the right size and ok. Yeah we're close on dates. I'm guessing your due date is 22/10? Mine 25/10.

@Pancakes7 ah that makes sense. Yes my EDD is 21/22 October xxx

Getting myself mildly panicked today 🤦‍♀️ I know you’re not supposed to really look at this, but I’ve always looked at my RHR off and on, and I’ve noticed that the last 3 days mine has been 63, 64 and then 60 today so far?! Which is even lower than it was before I got pregnant. I’ve been working away as normal today but also cleaned the kitchen and hoovered so it’s not like I’ve been sitting down since I got up.
Also not sure if my boobs are still sore anymore 😔 baby stopped growing at 8 weeks last time, and I’m 8+1 today so think I’m feeling a bit on edge anyway. I’ve a scan at EPU on Sunday and just feel so so worried that I’ll get bad news

Oh @PumpkinEverything, I'm sorry you are feeling like this. If it helps, my boobs don't feel sore at all today, and from what I've read, I think it's normal for this to be an on and off symptom. I don't really understand much about RHR, but a friend of mine, who is the most active person I know, has a very low RHR. But might be worth mentioning at your scan/booking?

It's sad, but I think most of us in this group go into scans expecting to receive bad news even though the odds are in our favour. Sunday isn't too long now. Do you have things to keep your mind busy until then?

@PumpkinEverything that's so hard, I definitely think RHR shouldn't worry you as it varies so much (and I read somewhere that in early pregnancy it can go lower)! As do pregnancy symptoms - in my healthy pregnancy I remember freaking out a few times because my boobs would stop hurting for a day or two.

I still look back on my MMC and I find myself thinking "there were so many signs!" but really there weren't, I was less nauseous than in my previous pregnancy but I was still nauseous, my boobs still hurt for weeks after I had the the MVA. Symptoms can be kind of like reading tea leaves. 🤷‍♀️

You'll have the scan soon! It must seem so far away but you'll get there.

@PumpkinEverything i'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I don't know anything about our RHR so I can't help on that to be honest. I wouldn't read too much into it though but it's understandable as you reach this milestone you have worry. Try and keep busy before Sunday if you can hopefully work will keep your mind off it a bit. I'm sure everything will be okay.

I completely understand though as every now and then I get that panic of what if it's bad news I get this horrible feeling in my tummy like I've been punched in the stomach. Both my mmc's stopped growing at about 6 weeks. I still had symptoms though so I don't have any signs which way it's going to go.

Thanks @marplemead @vitaminb33 @Pancakes7 I’m trying so hard to push it all out of my mind but it’s so hard. I’ve been feeling mostly positive since my scan last week and now I’m just getting myself a bit worried. My boobs stopped hurting last time which I think is why I’m concerned. It’s the only real symptom I’ve had other than the mildest of nausea, but it’s been so infrequent that it’s not like I can check in on it to see if I feel the same.

Work is really annoying me today a lot as well as it’s busy and the people that are giving me work to do keep doing it wrong over and over again and I have to keep trying to fix it or go back to them before I’m able to use it. So it’s really not helping either as it’s putting me in bad form!
Going to try and get out for a walk after work and every day this week, but other than that I don’t have anything new or different to distract myself with until Sunday 😔

@PumpkinEverything my RHR went down about week 6/7 - Started falling quite dramatically, and all was good on my scan at 8 weeks!

Thanks @Bellabubble ! I know I shouldn’t even be looking at it but I can’t seem to help myself. I noticed it dropping a week or so ago, but then it seems to have dropped even further, and it just makes me a bit anxious.

Feel like this is a terrible day. I’ve already been feeling wound up and anxious, and my mum just rang there to say my step dads cat got ran over and has passed away. (Back story - they are separated but my stepdad has been in my life since I was 3, and we’re all still very involved as a family. He lives alone but had two cats and the other one got ran over only a few months ago, so this is why it’s even more sad)
My husband and I have no kids, just a cat of our own who is like our child, so to hear of another cat in my family dying is really upsetting to me. Feeling really sad and a bit sick since my mum rang me 😔
I know I’m being silly, but just feeling like one of those days where everything is wrong so I’m just thinking to myself well of course something else is going to be wrong now with the baby 🤦‍♀️

Just waiting on my husband to finish work so we can get out for a walk and then I’m having tortellini pasta for dinner which I’m actually looking forward to. Hoping I can cheer myself up a bit