Pregnancy after loss - Autumn babies 2021

[Pancakes7]

Hi All, I have only just got my BFP and it's still faint atm. I had an mmc in May 2018, I then gave birth to my son May 2019. I had another mmc July 2020 and have been ttc ever since. I just got my BFP yesterday, so very early days. I'm not ready to join both groups quite yet. I thought this could be a space for us all going through pregnancy after loss. As we all understand the nerves/anxiety that go with this. I hope it's useful.

A bit of back ground on me. I'm 33, married. I have a 20 month old son. I haven't returned to work yet since maternity. I returned for 2 weeks then was put on furlough. I will be going back part time, doing 3 days.

@PumpkinEverything Yeah I really don't want to go through it all again. I can't bear to get the bad news again and have to start again. I can feel my anxiety rising each day but I'm still keeping it bubbling under atm. It comes out more at night when I over think. I've got really bad heartburn this evening which I seem to get each evening even though I haven't eaten anything recently. Fingers crossed for us all. Fingers crossed for you on Tuesday 🤞🏻🌈

Oh God, oh God, oh God... I just got an email my midwife appointment has been booked for 10th March 🙈 it says it's in high demand and changing could delay my scan. So if I try and book a scan for the Mon/Tue when I'm 7weeks Will it be too early ?

Eep! Probably a good idea to keep that date then @Pancakes7 I think that’ll be okay. When I rang up about my scan confusion she said 7 weeks is the earliest they’d usually recommend for reassurance. I’d originally booked 6+6 (sunday suited me better because I’m off) and she said that might be too early. So I think you’d be okay!

I know it's stupid but it's all just hit me. Just an email about my midwife appointment and I'm crying in my kitchen. I'm so scared I'm freaking out if it's going to go wrong again.

@PumpkinEverything Thanks I'll be 7 weeks +1. My previous mmc I went at 7 weeks and said it measured a week smaller. I just hope they don't say that again.

That’s exactly the same as me @Pancakes7 ! I measured at 6+2 and they kept saying about how small it was and she measured about 10 times. I left not feeling very reassured. At the time I didn’t think much of it because I know dates can be wrong, but I’m also praying this time that I’m going to be measuring 7+1 like I should be, or a day or two either side and not a week.

Don’t worry so much, but cry if you need to. Whatever is going to happen will happen and it’s out of your control right now. I think just try your best to enjoy being pregnant right now

@PumpkinEverything Thanks. I think it's like I've been keeping so calm all in denial and then the email popped up and I'm like OMG it's real. Panic!! I'm ok now. I just needed a freak out I think. I'm hoping I can get a scan on the Tuesday as I don't want to see a midwife before I know if everything's ok. On the plus side it's more like 2 weeks till my scan now 🙈

I was the same @Pancakes7 so I’m not impressed at my scan changing 😂 the midwife is calling me at lunch time on Monday and I really wanted to be reassured that all was fine.
That’s good though! You’ve got a mini countdown now until your scan 😊 are you going to book it yet or still wait?

It's totally normal to freak out @Pancakes7 appointments definitely make it seem more real, I think it's because we have to share our news with someone else (I don't count you lot!) when it's such early days. Hopefully your midwife will be understanding and reassure you.

I've also just had a cry in the kitchen, must be something in the air tonight! I can't remember if I posted about this already, but I've got an appointment at the hospital on 8th March to go through my son's post mortem. This appointment was made in early Dec, and was at 4pm with a consultant I've never met. They've sent me a letter today moving it to 2pm and now it's with the consultant that looked after me during the whole process of losing him. The letter says the first doctor made the recommendation based on the reaults. It's a pain because now I'll have to tell work and leave early, but I'm happy that it's the consultant I know, because she was brilliant, and one of the things I found difficult was having to explain my situation to several different doctors and nurses every hospital visit. However, I told DH and his first thought was- what have they found on the postmortem that requires this specific doctor to speak to us? That hadn't even crossed my mind and now I'm worrying. My waters went at 14 weeks last time, and my son showed signs of spina bifida but it won't be confirmed until the post mortem results. We always knew they'd be a possibility that there's implications for future pregnancies, but I was so desperate to get pregnant again it was a risk I was willing to take, especially as my first two pregnancies were smooth sailing. Now, it feels like I'm such an idiot for getting pregnant before the post mortem results and I'm terrified of what we'll find out.

@PumpkinEverything I've emailed them to see if they can fit me in Tuesday morning 9th March. I'm hoping if all goes well that I get the midwife I had with my son as she's lovely. I have to go to my gp's office to see her. I think it's followed up by a phone call to discuss history etc.

@imisscoffee Yes you did mention if. I'm so sorry you went through all that. Perhaps they just want your consultant who knows you there as they know it'll be a hard time for you but not necessarily bad news. Try and keep positive. You've had 2 children successfully so you can do it again. Xx

@PumpkinEverything Turns out there are only doing scans on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I'm going to book a scan for Wednesday morning hopefully before I go see the midwife. Busy day 🙈🤞🏻🌈

Morning guys. Got my CB 3+ weeks result this morning (at 4am; that seems to be when my bladder needs emptied each morning!) So feeling quite reassured and going to try to hang onto that feeling.

Is anyone else already Covid chubby (I'm in Scotland and still in lockdown after practically a year now) I was hoping to be in good shape when I got pregnant haha! It's going to be a long road to getting body back.. but hoping it's just extra resources for growing bub to utilise.

Also up until this point I've been ravenous before every meal. But seem to have lost my appetite now. No nausea or anything just not that hungry?!

@HereWeGoooo Yes I'm covid chubby lol plus the mmc meant I comfort are a lot. I never really Back down after having my son the year before. I'm taking 5 mg of folic acid as my BMI is over 30 I just thought I'd mention it in case yours is also over 30 it's good to get your GP to Prescribe the higher folic acid.

Sorry for all the wittering I've moved my midwife appointment on the 17th March. So will book my scan for the 12th March as planned.

Thanks @Pancakes7, feel a lot more level headed about it all this morning. Just want that week to hurry up, I've booked a private scan a few days after the appointment when I'll be 8/9 weeks. Glad you've managed to sort your scan and midwife appt out.

@imisscoffee I'm glad you're feeling better about it. I hope that week comes quickly for you. Good idea to book a scan for afterwards.

Evening ladies! I can’t remember who mentioned it a few days ago - but I’m totally one of the girls that can’t face food :( it sucks soooo much lol! I feel constantly sick, and have hunger pains every 2 hrs - but there is literally no enjoyment in food and I eat a bit and get full. I love food so much lol - it pains me to see my husband chowing down on dinner each eve! I’m still feeling a bit anxious - overall positive as I know the odds are in my favour after the scan last Sat, but still not completely trusting of my body!

@imisscoffee I’m glad you are feeling a bit better today - be kind to yourself and give yourself time. I had 2 friends that had 2nd trimester miscarriages, and I remember that they spoke of up and down days and sometimes they felt like the down days came out the blue. x

@Bellabubble Aw it's hard when you can't eat. I had that when I was pregnant with my son. I remember crying when dh made me a roast dinner and I couldn't eat it lol. It sounds silly now but I was gutted lol. Not so much nausea this time.

Feeling so all over the place today! I was feeling positive and excited most of yesterday and then last night I got realty anxious that something is going to be wrong and the baby is going to be in the wrong place. I haven’t had it in a few days or so, but there’s been a few times where I’ve had very small cramps in the rectal area. They haven’t been too painful so I hadn’t thought much of them. After I had my surgical management I had the exact same ones for around 2 weeks, so I figured it must just be from surgery recovery, and for the pregnancy I thought maybe this is happening again because of things moving about and growing. But then I read that rectal pressure (not even sure what that is!) is a sign of ectopic pregnancy, and it’s really freaked me out.
I’m honestly starting to feel a bit scared about going for my scan on Tuesday and now it feels like time is going too fast 🤦‍♀️

@PumpkinEverything could the rectal cramps be the progesterone slowing down your digestive system at all? It could be that your body isn’t processing food as quickly as it normally would - and if you have maybe eaten a bit more than usual it could just be that taking it’s toll on your system? How many weeks are you now? x

@Bellabubble I honestly have no idea what it is at all. It’s very hard to find any information about it when I had tried to search before, but last night was the first time it suggested ectopic. It’s not super painful, or sharp, and it doesn’t change if I go to the bathroom or anything, and it does just come and go. I’ll be 7 weeks tomorrow and so far my symptoms have just been sore boobs (some days mild other days a little bit sorer - the mild days panic me thinking it’s disappeared), and then I’ve felt like I have little energy the last few days, off and on cramps, gassy almost everyday, and then I don’t feel like it’s aversions, but I feel like I don’t want to eat most of the food we have in our fridge and just want junk food, and I feel hungrier than usual!

@PumpkinEverything its so hard not to let your mind wander into the worry zone. But try to keep focussing on thinking about a healthy growing foetus inside you. Any time I feel the urge to poo I worry too, as that's how my MC started. But the body is going through so many changes right now you need to try to stop analysing every little thing. Easier said that done. I keep thinking to myself if I'm not bleeding or having bad period type pains, then thats another day baby is okay. Keep the faith xx

@PumpkinEverything as bellabubble said, the progesterone can cause the cramping. So try not to worry. Also having one great day and one shit day is totally normal, I have a daily positive to negative shift. Tuesday is not long now and it should give you the reassurance you need and I know they are the most anxious thing but you will get through it!

@PumpkinEverything It's so easy to let your anxiety get the best of you. But I'm sure everything's ok. I would expect you to be in a lot of pain if it was ectopic. Obviously I'm no expert but I think the pain you're describing is probably your body shifting things round making room for baby. Or as others have said, it could be caused by the progesterone. Tuesday isn't long now. Try and keep your mind busy till then. X

@PumpkinEverything I'm sorry you're feeling anxious. I agree that it is most likely to be the progesterone causing the cramps. And even if it wasn't, some cramping is normal in pregnancy. I know it's easier said than done, but do try and stay away from Dr Google.

I've got my scan on Tuesday too, and starting to feel really worried. I've convinced myself it's going to be bad news. I've been so sleepy and tired this week, which I know is a side effect of the progesterone. I'm now also on 5mg of folic acid, which has made me feel even worse. I vomited up my dinner yesterday, but think that must have been indigestion, because I've not been sick since.