Pregnancy after loss - Autumn babies 2021

[Pancakes7]

Hi All, I have only just got my BFP and it's still faint atm. I had an mmc in May 2018, I then gave birth to my son May 2019. I had another mmc July 2020 and have been ttc ever since. I just got my BFP yesterday, so very early days. I'm not ready to join both groups quite yet. I thought this could be a space for us all going through pregnancy after loss. As we all understand the nerves/anxiety that go with this. I hope it's useful.

A bit of back ground on me. I'm 33, married. I have a 20 month old son. I haven't returned to work yet since maternity. I returned for 2 weeks then was put on furlough. I will be going back part time, doing 3 days.

Hi @Smurf123, sorry for your losses, glad you've got regular scans in place for reassurance. Are you finding our the gender or having a surprise?

I binged Bridgerton when I was off sick last pregnancy and it's so light-hearted and ridiculous, I really liked it (and often play the soundtrack in the classroom at work as the kids love the classical renditions of Taylor Swift etc!) I've had to stop watching This is Us because I just fall apart. It's not particularly linked to babyloss (although that does happen early on in the series) but it's an emotional headfuck and I can't cope with it at the moment!

The mad dreams have started for me, I forgot this was a symptom. Last night my car could only drive backward and I ended up driving into a canal. The night before, I was on a cruise ship trying to stop a murder 😂

@PumpkinEverything @Pancakes7 thank you! I think it is worse because I am not in school this week (half term) I’m hoping once I go back time goes quicker! I haven’t been contacted by my midwife yet (I only filled out the form on Monday) but if it is the same midwife I had the 2 times before I know she will try and get me my scans asap (I don’t know if it is the same everywhere, but our midwives are attached to the Dr surgeries, and although I never met mine, we talked on the phone and she was really supportive after wach mc and made sure all appointments were cancelled so I didn’t get letters/reminders etc) I’m considering seeing when I get the 12 week scan (I think it can be anywhere between 12-14weeks?) and I may book another private scan. When I had my surgical management, the obgyn said to call EPU when I mext fell pregnant so they could monitor me more - but I know last covid they stripped services back to just emergency scans, so I’m not sure they’ll offer me any reassurance scans at the moment!

Thank you for the tv recommendations! I love Jane the Virgin so much! (may have watched it 3 times over now lol!) I’ll definitely get stuck into some of them!

@imisscoffee i love how they did the modern music with edwardian quartets - such a cool idea!! I’ve been havj g some weird dreams recently, and waking up a lot which is very frustrating!

Thank you all 🙂
Some good TV recommendation to check out too..
I've gone for private antenatal care. I had a bit of spotting at the beginning of this pregnancy and epu couldn't see me due to the covid pressures and my booking scan wasnt going to be until I was nearly 14weeks. This way It means I am able to be seen by the same consultant who i had with ds so she has said 4weekly scans to 21 weeks then 3 weekly after that until 32 and then 2 weekly after that. It is nice for reassurance though it doesn't last long. I had joined one of the birth groups for August on here too but I'm not quite ready for that. There's lots of talk of them all feeling movements etc from 12/13 weeks which was making my anxiety worse as I haven't felt any yet.

Dh is determined to find out the gender this time round 😂 we had a surprise last time. I'm happy either way I think

@bellabubble its so nice to see you here!!

I am gona take down all these TV series mentioned here since I'm in the same space where I can't keep myself from testing everyday just to be sure I am still pregnant...

Really hoping as the tkme goes on this calms down.

@Smurf123 I don't think you can feel movements as early as 12/13 weeks. That's extreme. I think it's normally from about 16 weeks from my experience. First you feel it yourself then later it can be felt from the tummy. You probably know this from having your son too but thought I'd say. Great you're having private care and so many scans. I'm jealous lol. I think we have decided to do 2 private scans as well as the 2 nhs scans. Either at 8 & 10 weeks or 8 & 16 weeks. I'm not sure yet.

@Pancakes7 I was considering a 10 week scan - the lady at my private scan (she was an ex-midwife but still keeps up to date with all the training) said that they often see a lot of women between the 12-20 week scan as that can be when the sickness stops but movements don’t necessarily get felt for a while - so she found a lot of mums like a scan then for reassurance. I’m hoping to hold out until then - but we shall see!

@Furbsies - so lovely to see you here too!! How are you doing? x

Has anyone found that whilst they don’t have food aversions (nothing actually turns my stomach - but I am not feeling chocolate right now!) they just aren’t enjoying food - I get hungry, start wating, then feel full and go off my food very quickly - almost like I feel too full!

Thanks @Pancakes7 I thought 12/13 weeks seems very early too and then started to get worried.
I think it was closer to 20 weeks with my son.
I find the 12-20 week quite a long stretch so id probably choose a scan between then if it was me but it's different for everyone! Pre-covid booking in appt is normally around 8 weeks where I am and you get a scan at it as well as your 12 week scan but that seems unusual compared to England?
I have a complete aversion to tea... And I love my tea.. But can't do it at all atm, haven't been able to since about 6 weeks!

Hi all,

Yesterday I got a positive digital - it was a false positive.

Today I went to a pre-planned appointment with the gynae consultant. All my tests have been positive but for residual HCG only and that's after having a period and ovulating twice since the ERCP and medical management for retained products. My blood HCG result today was 7.3. I'm having a repeat blood test on Monday and desperate for it to drop further and period to start otherwise more surgery on Tuesday to investigate the tiniest fragment of any retained tissue causing to still test positive.

I'm sure I'm a rare case but it's just awful that the tests including digitals can give false hope and that HCG really can take months to get to

@Bellabubble That's a good point. Maybe I'll do 8 weeks and 16 weeks. Last time I did 7 weeks and was told it was measuring a behind and told to come back in 2 weeks and it was gone. So I'm waiting till 8 weeks to try and avoid that situation. I think I'll probably worry again after the 8 week scan even if all is ok.

@Smurf123 I know it was a while where I could feel kicks but no one could from the outside. It was a few weeks till my dh managed to feel it too.

I'm so sorry @dippyegg32 False hope is heartbreaking. Fingers crossed for Monday, and that you won't need surgery. Take care of yourself.

@dippyegg32 I'm so sorry you've had false hope. I hope it goes away on its own before your surgery.

I was told to make sure I got a negative test after 2 weeks if not I was to go back in. I got a negative before 2 weeks, same as last time. Also it's been 6 months for me. But thank you for sharing story, if it can help anyone at least that's something.

I hope you're ok. Be kind to yourself. Xx

@dippyegg32 I'm so sorry lovely. Look after yourself xx

@imisscoffee omg this is us 😂🤦‍♀️ I watched the latest two episodes today and cried at both,happy tears both times but still!

@Bellabubble worth giving EPU a ring anyway to see what they say! They offered me a reassurance scan when I had surgery and I confirmed with them last week that I can still get it, just need to ring them next week when I’m 7 weeks.
Im finding it so crazy reading about scans after 12 weeks because in my mind that’s the milestone I need to get to and I can’t even think beyond that 🤦‍♀️ If (and when! If I’m going to be positive) I’d say I would probably need one as it seems so far between 12 and 20!

@dippyegg32 so sorry to hear that 😔 so cruel that you got a false positive on a digital. It took me 5/6 weeks to get my negative test, but they never called me back to check anything or bring me in! Look after yourself ❤️

I’m so sorry @dippyegg32. That’s heart breaking for you. Sending you a big hug and make sure you take care of yourself. Xx

Oh another thing I'm watching atm is the Australian Married at first sight. I'm part way through Season 6. It's really good! I'm going to watch the olds series next lol

I should've said it's available on All4

@PumpkinEverything I'm having to save them up until I'm more mentally stable 😂 it's a brilliant show but I can't cope at the moment! Enjoying drag race instead. I loved a bit of escape to the chateau when I was pregnant before.

@Bellabubble I'm noticing the start of food aversions, I'm constantly hungry but don't fancy anything in particular, just keep looking in all the cupboards and fridge repeatedly like I'm expecting something new to appear on the second look 😂 I fancied some iron bru when I was shopping earlier, which I haven't drank in about 15 years so I'm thinking that's a pregnancy thing. Got it home and I don't want it anymore. Iron bru anyone?!

@imisscoffee I'm wanting only cheese sandwiches for lunch atm which I craved in previous pregnancies. I'm eating less than I was before partly because I'm feeling a bit nauseous I think. I still feel overall in a bit of disbelief. I think I'll feel like this until I have a scan and can know if this is going to be a successful pregnancy or not. It's very strange, feeling in limbo still. Like I won't let myself believe it.

So sorry to hear this @dippyegg32 thinking of you and hope you get some answers

@Pancakes7 cheese sandwiches is my good to food too at the moment! Also I had a crazy notion for Walkers roast chicken crisps a few days ago, can't get enough of them now!

@MrsTD88 ooh I've not had those in ages! I had to get Rolo yogurts after someone on here mentioned them lol

@Pancakes7 they do sound good, I may have to buy some too!

Morning ! Happy Friday! I caved this morning and did a cheapie. Not sure why. I think it’s because I’m coming up to the 6week stage. I can’t wait until Thursday now until I have my scan but I think the closer I’m getting to the scan and the weeks I’m getting nervous but I’ve got to try and distract myself which should be easily done with work tbh. Hope you’re all having a good Friday morning xxx