Pregnancy after loss - Autumn babies 2021

[Pancakes7]

Hi All, I have only just got my BFP and it's still faint atm. I had an mmc in May 2018, I then gave birth to my son May 2019. I had another mmc July 2020 and have been ttc ever since. I just got my BFP yesterday, so very early days. I'm not ready to join both groups quite yet. I thought this could be a space for us all going through pregnancy after loss. As we all understand the nerves/anxiety that go with this. I hope it's useful.

A bit of back ground on me. I'm 33, married. I have a 20 month old son. I haven't returned to work yet since maternity. I returned for 2 weeks then was put on furlough. I will be going back part time, doing 3 days.

You're all so brave doing the weeks indicator, I got "the fear" just looking at the box! My rationale is that I had residual HCG from miscarriage hence testing positive so early and then it's slowly climbed back up again. Disclaimer: zero scientific background but wayyy too much time on my hands.

Also, had the weirdest dream last night. I was pregnant with an elephant - sure 👌 and the trunk and ears could be seen moving in my tummy. Suffice to say I woke up really freaked out, turned the light on, woke dh up who lovingly yelled "wtf are you doing" for him to confirm that no elephants were protruding from my body.

@Pancakes7 your son will be a good distraction. I've been lucky I haven't been on furlough so being kept busy with work has definitely helped. Hopefully the weather will improve for you so you can get out and about. The weather here has been lovely the past few days

Amazing @dippyegg32 I love seeing those words "pregnant". I hate line tests as I always doubt myself. I am with you on the weird dreams, I had one the other night I had a girl with three eyes!

Afternoon all, catching up after a few days of feeling rough. I don't know if what I'm feeling are pregnancy symptoms or side effects from the progesterone. My scan isn't until Tuesday, which feels a lifetime away. I'll only be 6+1 so not sure what they will be able to see anyway.

I don't have any energy, but desperately need things to keep my mind busy. I can't concentrate on watching TV, reading or doing a puzzle.

@marplemead I’m in the same boat! I feel sick, sore boobs, headachey but could all be progesterone. It’s super difficult because I’d love to know what symptoms I’m feeling not related.
Tuesday is close, I know it feels like time is dragging but it’s less than a week away now which is great!! This time next week you will have had it x

Yay @dippyegg32! Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

I'm also sort of journalling- I'm using the prompts in the pregnancy after loss book and writing notes on the ovia app. I'm going to take weekly bump photos too, just to keep on there for myself. I never get a proper bump as I'm quite overweight and when I was pregnant with my DD and DS I barely took any photos. When I was pregnant last year I took more, including the day I had to go in to be induced, and now treasure those photos along with the scan photos and the pictures we took after delivering my little boy. I used to be worried about doing things like taking bump photos or journalling little things like cravings or symptoms or feelings incase the pregnancy didn't work out, but now I actually have experienced loss it's those things that are so precious.

@marplemead would something like colouring help? Or maybe a funny podcast, something light-hearted to take your mind off things.

@dippyegg32 That's great- well done for braving the digital. I haven't done one yet. In fact, I've only take one test on the day AF was due, which is not like me! And I've always had weird dreams after a BFP, so that's a good sign!

@Strawberry08 you're right. It's less than a week now which is good. I'm really not enjoying being on the progesterone, but know it will be worth it if it works.

@imisscoffee Good point about taking bump photos. I have so few from when I was pregnant with DD, and I really enjoy looking back at those. And I love a good podcast or a radio show. I'm going to look for one now, and listen as I cook dinner. It's so funny. Normally I wouldn't need prompting on how to chill out, but it's so weird right now. I feel like I'm in a bit of a daze all the time.

I bought a few bits for DD from John Lewis, and couldn't resist this lovely floaty midi dress in the sale which will be perfect for the summer. It's not maternity, so I don't feel like I am jinxing it, but could definitely fit a bump.

@MrsTD88 tbh although I'm over thinking sometimes now. I've loved my extra time with my son. I've nearly had 2 years with him now. I would have returned to work March 2020. So the timing has worked out really well for me.

@imisscoffee I took bump photos every week when I was pregnant with my son starting I think at about 10/12 weeks. I love looking back at them. So very good idea.

I've just got a book from a lovely lady on Instagram who runs a babyloss library- it's called "Joy at the end of the rainbow- a guide to pregnancy after a loss". Looks interesting, less of a journal than "pregnancy after loss" so will dip in and out.

Morning, I'm already so tired atm and now my son is suddenly waking up earlier and earlier... 4.50am today 🙈 I need a nap! lol my boobs hurt a lot this morning and feeling a little bit nauseous. I can tell the hormones must be rising as each day goes on.

I told my Mum yesterday and she's really happy for me and also obviously hoping it goes ok. 🤞🏻🌈

Great news @Pancakes7, glad your mum is happy and supportive. Hope you manage to sneak a nap in later!

@Pancakes7 I have loved the extra time at home with my daughter too. I feel we have really got to know each other if that makes sense?

I agree re bump photos, I started from about 15 weeks with my daughter and done them on a weekly basis. It's amazing when you look back at how quickly your bump changes from week to week

Aw, that’s good, glad you told your mum @Pancakes7 😊

Thanks @MrsTD88 , @PumpkinEverything & @imisscoffee I just finished my book and had a nap. My mums here so she watched my son. (In our support bubble as she lives alone) the book was good but it had a major mc trigger yesterday. I had to ring my dh as it made me cry. So really I don't recommend it for any of us lol.

Oh you just reminded me! I watched firefly lane and finished it last night. It was a really good show, but should come with a trigger warning too!

@PumpkinEverything Oh I had just started that the other day but didn't finish the first episode. I might put that off for a bit then. 🙈

Hi ladies - sorry I have been quiet the last few days! The relief the scan gave me lasted all of 3 days 😩 and I’m back to panicking! Even though she said the heartbeat was stong, and the pregnancy was in a great place in the uterus, I’m still panicking! I have had a few friends have miscarriages after a time there would have been a heartbeat (but most didn’t get an early scan so it’s possible the heartbeat would have been slow) and 2 friends had much later miscarriages, (both had full term pregnancies after) but it just causes me to over think! I still feel pretty grotty. It isn’t so bad when I wake up anymore, just gets worse as the day goes on. It’s such a strange time isn’t it! I binge watched Bridgerton to try and distract myself - as a lot of friends at work have been talking about it! Need a new show now! x

@Pancakes7 it’s actually a really good show, but trigger warning for the end of episode 8, and then also into 9 if you do continue. Think I’m also just a bit emotional as the scenes weren’t awful, but still gave me a few tears. I also cried at another episode, and then again because a sad song played 😂😂

@Bellabubble I think the results of your scan sound really great! I’m going to be positive for you and believe that it’s all going to work out, and that you’ve only a few more weeks until your 12 week scan 😊 I’ve just mentioned firefly lane in my posts today, it’s a really good show that I recommend, but few trigger warnings.
Have been watching Kim’s convenience on Netflix as well if you like a funny tv show, and also the office (US), parks and recreation and schitts creek if that’s your sense of humour 😊

Oh and also good girls if you haven’t watched it!

Hi can I join? Sorry to hear of your previous losses. I'm due August time so 16 weeks today.. I had 3 miscarriages (2 were miscarriages) before then having ds who is nearly 3.. He was born at 37 weeks after several episodes of reduced movements and he ended up in nicu for a week but thankfully is fine now.
Pregnant again and honestly a nervous wreck! Currently on 4 week scans.. All was good at last scan just over 2 weeks ago but the nerves kick in again within a few days. 10 days until next scan.

@Bellabubble I'm sorry the anxiety is back. When is your 12 week scan? I feel like time is going in slow motion atm. I wish I could fast forward to my scan.

@PumpkinEverything @Bellabubble tv shows I recommend are:

Good girls
Insatiable
Sex education
Great news
Jane the Virgin (involves pregnancy)
You
Love
Dirty John
Gilmore Girls
The Good place
iZombie
How I met your mother
The Big Bang theory
Crazy ex girlfriend
The chilling adventures of Sabrina

Welcome @Smurf123 I'm sorry for your losses. You'll find great support here. Great news you're 16 weeks along. Not long till your gender scan! Are you booking your fortnightly scans yourself privately? That must be good for reassurance.

Thanks for the recommendations @Pancakes7 😁 I have watched 11 out of the 15, and liked them all, so I can imagine I’ll like the other 4! I’m actually rewatching Gilmore girls at the moment. It’s my lunch break tv show 😁