Pregnancy after loss - Autumn babies 2021

[Pancakes7]

Hi All, I have only just got my BFP and it's still faint atm. I had an mmc in May 2018, I then gave birth to my son May 2019. I had another mmc July 2020 and have been ttc ever since. I just got my BFP yesterday, so very early days. I'm not ready to join both groups quite yet. I thought this could be a space for us all going through pregnancy after loss. As we all understand the nerves/anxiety that go with this. I hope it's useful.

A bit of back ground on me. I'm 33, married. I have a 20 month old son. I haven't returned to work yet since maternity. I returned for 2 weeks then was put on furlough. I will be going back part time, doing 3 days.

Just to share another thing I've found helpful is I write a diary. Just in my phone but I started it at a very low point last year when I thought I'd be Pregnant and I've kept it going and added test images. It helps get my thoughts out and I think it'll be good to look back at if everything works out.

@imisscoffee @pancakes7 @PumpkinEverything thank you.

How is everyone.

So I have a dilemma ladies. My cycles have ranged from 29 to 54 days in the past few months, this cycle started on 7th Jan. I seemed to have what felt like implantation bleeding from 11th to 13th Feb and had raised progesterone in a blood test on 3rd Feb.

These are the only things I can go by. I am allowed a reassurance scan at 8 weeks but how do I even figure this one out.

That’s a really good idea @Pancakes7 what sort of stuff are you writing in it and are you just using the notes app?
I’ve seen people mention journals and I know keep getting them advertised to me on FB specifically for pregnancy. I’d actually love something like that but feel like I’m still too worried that something is wrong. If everything goes okay with my scan next week then I might allow myself to buy one.

In other news of my emotional state today, one of our friends who had a MC this time last year went for her 20 week scan today and all is well. It’s gave me such a buzz and I’m so excited for her, and now it’s making me excited for myself 😂 half of me is saying it’s okay to be excited, and the other half is saying to catch myself on because I don’t know what’s going to happen 😂🤦‍♀️

Ah, that’s a tough one @Furbsies as that could have you at around 6 weeks if you go by LMP. Did you do any sort of ovulation tests, or early tests that have been negative?

@PumpkinEverything I didnt!! This was the month I started investigations with the endocrinologist, and I gave all my Opks away! Its such a difficult one for me right now.

It’s really annoying. Last year I had cycles of 34-45 days and when I had my miscarriage pregnancy my LMP brought me up as 9 weeks when I knew I should only be 6 for my early scan, and then I got called for my 12 week one when I was only 9 (which I’m glad about as that’s when I found out about the MMC).
Is your reassurance scan with EPU or who is it with? I’m wondering if you could have a chat with them about it and maybe they’ll do one based on LMP when you’re 8 weeks, and then bring you back once they’ve measured you to when you’d actually be 8 weeks?

@Furbsies That's a tough one. When did you get your first BFP this cycle? You might be 6 weeks. Can you explain the situation to epu/gp and ask for their advice?

@PumpkinEverything I'm using an app called One note it's not a proper diary lay out really it just helps getting out my feelings. My first few are quite upsetting as I was feeling really low. I don't do it every day I just do it randomly when I need to.

I do wish I kept I diary in my pregnancy with my son now. I didn't have the easiest pregnancy but I had a loss before him so I felt I couldn't moan. I had severe pgp and was on crutches barely able to walk in my 3rd trimester. I then got carpal tunnel in my wrists and tendentious in my fingers and thumbs. I'm hoping it doesn't happen again. All worth it though.

@PumpkinEverything @pancakes7 I think I might just do that

Ill speak to the gp, I have an appt for increasing my levothyroxine dose on Monday so I'll ask her about this too. Would be nice to know if everything is going alright.

@PumpkinEverything I mostly write what's happened that day e.g I got a BFP today. How in feeling. What I'm planning to do. It's a bit like a message to a friend I guess.

That sounds terrible @Pancakes7 ! It’s really really crazy what pregnancy can do to your body, way more than I ever realised until the last year when I’ve been thinking about babies 😂
I actually never thought about a diary at all until recently but I think it would be a lovely idea. When I was TTC I used Premom, Flo and Ovia and I updated notes on there every single night before bed of my ‘symptoms’ so I could compare them with previous months to see what was different. I stopped it when I got my BFP but wish I hadn’t as im now having to go purely by memories, and I really don’t remember having the same amount of cramps and twinges as I do this time.

@Furbsies I think that’s a good idea 😊 EPU offered me a scan for around when I had my MMC, (I found out at 9 weeks) but I can’t wait that long so have booked my own reassurance scan for next week and then at least it’ll give me an idea of when to book the EPU one or mentally prepare myself if something seems off

@PumpkinEverything I'm using Flo still. Sometimes I look back at the year when I was pregnant with my son to see what I put in annoyingly I only did the first Few days after I found out I was pregnant and then I stopped as well. Interestingly I can see the week before I found out I've logged spotting which I don't remember but it must've happened. I also logged on the week when I found out cramps, backache, painful boobs and I've written that I had sickness. So that must mean cramps and backache can be normal as that was my successful pregnancy.

@PumpkinEverything Yeah it was really difficult for me at that time I've gotten quite down as near the end as it didn't go anywhere. But as soon as I had my son the PGP was gone. I would still do it again now feel like crap for nine months is worth it.

Good morning ladies, first of all so sorry that you have all gone through pregnancy loss. I have been keeping my eye on this thread for a while but was too scared to post anything until I had a follow up scan at EPAS to confirm viability. In August 2014 I had a MMC, August 2015 a chemical, conceived my daughter in September 2015, August 2020 another MMC and October 2020 ectopic. I had my scan this morning and thankfully saw a lovely little baby and heartbeat, so incredibly happy after two losses last year. I am dating further along than expected at 8+4 which would give me a due date of 25 September. There was a second sac present which measured about 6 weeks but was empty so they think it is likely a twin pregnancy which has not progressed. I'm not sure how I feel about that at the moment. I suppose it is bittersweet. I have my dating scan 5 weeks today so will be 13+4 going by today's scan. Seems like such a long time away. @PumpkinEverything I think we may be in the same Facebook Group!

Welcome @MrsTD88 I'm sorry for your losses.
Wonderful news you've had a successful scan! I can't wait for my scan at 8 weeks. But on the other hand it's scary!

@Pancakes7 I was absolutely terrified this morning, was up since 5am ready to throw up with anxiety. The sonographer was amazing though and she put me right at ease straight away. How long is it until your scan?

@MrsTD88 I'm only 4 weeks +2. Planning to book a scan on 12/03. So a long time year yet. I'll be the same feeling sick 🤞🏻

Yes we’re in the same group @MrsTD88 I remember your post this morning 😊 so pleased for you! Think it’s so nice having groups to share with people!
My scan is next Tuesday at 10am when I should be 7+1 and I know I am going to be on the edge! Glad I got an early slot so I’m not waiting all day as I don’t see me being able to eat or drink much until it’s done

Hi ladies! Good to see how everyone is doing. I can’t focus on work today! I think quite a few of us have scans coming up - exciting. Mine is next Thursday and I will be 6.5 but I think my HCG levels were more akin to week 5 last week when I was 4 weeks so maybe I’m a week ahead and next week will be 7.5 rather than 6.5 ...let’s see I don’t mind as long as the baby is healthy xxx

@Pancakes7 not too far away, have you got lots of things to keep your mind preoccupied? I ended up buying two new books to keep my mind from wandering too much the past two weeks.

@PumpkinEverything I thought I recognised your post re your scan being changed. I agree a morning scan is definitely better for your sanity.

@Firevie I am really struggling to focus on work too. I'm working from home and my 4 year old is currently playing with her dolls house. I'd happily just go for a nap!

I look forward to all your scan updates.

Lol glad to see we are all in the same boat re difficulty with focus! It’s just so hard! My boobs def hurt more in the eve. It’s strange it’s sometimes more sometimes less. No other symptoms as such but my tummy feels bit harder I think. Xxx

@MrsTD88 i'm actually on furlough still I never really went back since my maternity because lockdown happened after two weeks of lack and I've been on furlough ever since. I am looking after my son who is 21 months. So he keeps me busy but sometimes when he's playing I do find I'm overthinking as not much to keep me busy at the moment. I normally try and go out a lot just meeting people for walks but we've had snow recently so had a lot of time at home. The 12th of March seems forever away for me. I should be 7 weeks +4 that day. I can take you to get there not focusing it's just always on your mind isn't it.

@MrsTD88 sorry I should've checked that before I posted it I meant to say at the end I completely understand not focusing as it's always on your mind isn't it. Sorry I'm dictating and sometimes it doesn't make sense lol

Just checking in to say I braved a digital. I couldn't face the weeks indicator so went bog standard but got this. I've got the EPU tomorrow and desperate for my blood results.

@dippyegg32 Yay!!! That's a great sign!! 👍🏻 I think you were just too early before like I was. I'm sorry it's been such a roller coaster for you so far. But this is a very clear BFP!!

Woohoo! No denying the digital @dippyegg32 😊