Due June 2020: thread 7. The one where babies appear

[AndddddHerewegoagain]

Hi everyone. Starting another thread!! Hoping we start having babies appear very soon!!

@Birdgarden Thank youuuu!

Omg! Work! Bluerghhhh! Last thing we need in the last month of pregnancy. Good luck with the rest or the day.

@Missgemini I have a sweep tomorrow and yeh was hoping I'd get to avoid that! And it's my birthday tomorrow- nice little present 😂

Oh no @Birdgarden 2 hrs sleep 😫 hopefully you manage to squeeze a nap in somewhere?

@sarahlounich I am actually so scared of the sweep! Good luck with yours and fingers crossed, you might get to share your bday with your baby! My birthday is also this month (hence the username), so I'm quite happy that the baby is being born in June!

I had three sweeps last time and only one was a nightmare - two were just slightly uncomfortable.

Well I survived the consultant appt this morning. As long as I am fully aware that bonding with my baby will definitely be affected, I have an increased risk of catching COVID, I am more likely to haemorrhage, I will be in unbelievable pain and generally it is a much worse idea then she is happy to book my ELCS. Oh yes and I am likely to die or at least have my bladder damaged and will probably be operated on by a trainee.

Otherwise all good!

What the actual Eff @Pegase that is downright disgusting!? What is wrong with these consultants!? I just cannot fathom it at all?? They’re in a role where at the bare minimum they need to care for other human beings and it seems like the majority forget that crucial element!
How are you feeling?

Still waiting for further appts so trying to hold it together. I have done so much research on this so I know in my head that a lot of this is scaremongering / based on small unreliable studies etc etc but still emotionally they make you feel like you are actively choosing to endanger yourself and your baby.

And of course never mention the various risks of VB.

She also had not read my notes at all so I had to talk through all my previous birth trauma after which she still spoke to me like that.

@Pegase quite a morning you're having! Well, at least, you're now booked in for your ELCS. Result!
Just to mention, as someone that works in a hospital, they legally have to tell you about everything that can go wrong before any operation. It's more of a legal requirement that anything else.
But as we know, the vast majority of ELCS will go without a hitch! Don't dwell too much on the things that might go wrong. Focus on the fact that baby will be here soon and that you don't have to have the VB you have been so scared of! Exciting times ahead!

Completely accept that they have to go through risks - I had to have an ERPC after miscarriage last year and a lot of the named risks are actually the same. It is more the way they do it which is a problem. Plus conflating subjective views - on how I won't bond with my baby, with real evidence-based clinical data.

@Pegase you’re a very strong women to have got through all of that and despite the scaremongering you will be getting your ELCS now so try and focus on that to get you through your appointments.

Yes they have a duty of care and legally for an operation they have to state what the risks are, but the sad truth is that caesareans are costly to the NHS and they will try whichever tactic they can to talk you out of them.

My sister had a traumatic first labour and despite meeting with a ‘birth stories’ midwife who actually recommended a c-section to her she still had to fight for it through each consultant there after 🙄

@pegase - sorry you had a shite time with the consultant. I just don't think they are very considerate when it comes to birth trauma (speaking from my own experience there. I decided not to push for elcs myself but have seen a consultant on the same basis and got the same spiel at 13 weeks). I also found mine laughed and said I hadn't been in labour for 6.5 days - erm I was going round dilated, effaced, waters broken and still going everywhere, body clearing out, contracting (without enough rhythm). I think that can medically be classified as latent labour?? Also, you try it, and also also it made my daughter poorly. Not ok! Don't laugh at it!

@sarahlounich I am someone who cannot nap at all, not unless I've been given a general anaesthesic! And I couldn't really log off work for long enough. I've been working on 2-4 hours a night for a couple of weeks but this morning when the toddler arrived 2 hours after going to sleep I could've had a sense of humour failure. She did insist daddy makes mummy tea though, then took the credit when it arrived

@gigitree everyone who found out about my daughter's delivery (i.e. health professionals, midwives, health visitors) and how sick she ended up said "you'd need to have a caeserean if you have more children". When I actually got pregnant I got sent to the consultant who said "no you don't" (then the same spiel as @Pegase about why not). So that was that! To be honest at 13 weeks when the discussion was had I was too sick to argue really

@Pegase they basically said "if I do my job poorly, your responsibility because you wanted it". Where's professionalism? Where's the doctors moral code of helping people??? I'm really angry with those people.
🤬

@birdgarden it’s disgusting how there is such a lack of consistency/continuity and empathy in maternal medicine.
Of course you really shouldn’t have to fight for a ELCS at all especially after what you’ve been through, let alone at 13 weeks when everyone knows you’re likely to feel like crap!

@gigitree I had to wait until 35 weeks to have my birth trauma midwife appointment, chased it since 16 weeks and the referral kept getting "lost". I had a second trimester wobble of "I need to sort this out" but of course no second trimester appointments second time round so just had to muddle through really. Couldn't help but think I could've had the baby by 35 weeks! (Thankfully I am convinced that I have long pregnancies)

@birdgarden sounds typical unfortunately, my sister didn’t see the birth stories midwife until she was about 38 weeks, which is just plain ridiculous really isn’t it!?

It's really sad the poor experience a lot of ladies here seem to have experienced. Probably an issue that needs to be addressed. Can't be a coincidence with how many people have mentioned it.
Let's try and stay positive though. This is such a special time regardless of whatever happens at the annoying appts.xx

@missgemini, absolutely - I know there's plenty of work done by charities to try and correct this sort of thing, gaps in the system, and the importance of women feeling informed and consulted about their choices; and I try and support them where I can. I've found the information from AIMS valuable personally, in understanding my previous experience, and understanding my options better should this baby not be sneezed out either! I'd recommend it for others struggling with any questions you feel you aren't getting answers to, particularly at this "last minute" (there is a helpline too as they don't cover every possibility on the website).

I have a sweep on Thursday, also a bit nervous so any tips welcome! Induction booked for Sunday when I'll be 39 weeks. Eeek!

Holy fuck @Pegase what an absolute arsehole that Dr is. I would definitely be complaining! It's so difficult to stick to your guns when you hear that scaremongering bullshit. I feel similar about being induced; I know it's the right choice for me but everyone and their Grannie keeps telling me 'natural' birth is best. Stay strong and take care xx

Sweep ladies, I too have a sweep tomorrow and one on Friday. Have an induction booked early next week so this is a last ditch attempt to try and avoid! I'm a little anxious about the sweep but expecting it will be a walk in the park compared to labour so trying to be brave. Also conceived by ivf so should be used to this kind of stuff but find it never gets any less weird!

Anyone else struggling with total exhaustion? I'm 39+6 and have been totally shattered the last 2 days. Not been managing my daily walks, any housework, even standing up is a struggle and sleeping for hours throughout the day despite getting a good night's sleep. It seems to have come out of nowhere. Hoping it's a sign that labour is approaching but probably just wishful thinking!

Thanks for all the support everyone - feeling a bit calmer now but having to relive everything from before and then have these brutal conversations gets me quite jittery.

date confirmed as 17 June so have to keep my legs crossed for 2 more weeks!

@pegase you can join me in the "no bouncing on birthing ball, no sex and no curries" club for a few days! I cannot bail out of work until end of Friday so all my "home remedies" to make sure I don't go overdue have been stopped; I'm too close to give up now! Feel like I'm the only one not scoffing pineapple by the bucket!

Now here’s something that will make us all laugh, I just checked what I’ve packed for baby in my hospital bag as her ‘coming home’ outfit is newborn size (the rest are 0-3mnths) checked the label for the sizing and it says ‘up to 7lbs 8oz’ 😂 given that she is apparently already that weight I have a strong feeling she won’t fit in that one 😂😂

@BirdGarden oh I didn't consider that there's a deadline for going into the MLU! I've said no to a sweep at 39 weeks so next appointment is 40+4 where they will offer again! Eek I don't really want one but I do want to go to MLU .

Oh no! Mind you my DD was 7lb15 and all the newborn stuff we bought fit her for a few weeks. So maybe it depends on body shape or something?!

I'm not doing anything yet to encourage labour, I'm 39+1 so it would be fine if she came now, just DH is self employed and is working on a job to finish this Saturday! So hoping she doesn't come before then else I will need to work straight after she's born for a couple days to get it finished!

Come Sunday I'll be doing everything to get this little one out!! 😃😃