Dec19/Jan20 IVF Graduates - Thread 2

[Chooklass]

New thread for us all to keep in touch. Think we're all nearing the end of the first trimester or dipping our toes into the second ... how far we've come since the days of agonising over stims!

Link to old thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_clubs/3812203-Dec19-Jan20-IVF-Graduates

@DobbieFreeElf thank you! I have a chart that says there should be 25w appointment for first time mums but no description of what will actually happen. All mines are over the phone, I might ask if I need to come in at some point. My only worry is gestational diabetes and anemia as these can be treated and monitored and the sooner the Helmer. Chances are it's probably nothing.

@Chooklass I read that it's quite normal to feel dizzy after a meal as the blood rushes into the stomach. I also have a blood pressure monitor at hone which I find reassuring. Do you know if they will take a test for anemia?

@Viletta Yes, I was told they'd check my iron levels. I've been taking a pregnancy multivitamin with iron, and adding spinach to everything so hopefully it's ok! I think if you are worried you should contact your midwife team and see if you can be seen in person. My midwife said in Scotland they are doing 16wk appointment by phone but definitely seeing ladies for the 22wk appointment as screening is more important then.

@Chooklass I've texted my midwife, will call her on Friday if I don't hear back before. I take a complex vitamin and eat healthily.. hopefully it's nothing

Hi @Viletta, I thought the dizzy thing is a very common low blood pressure symptom which is to do with all the extra blood baby is using isn't it? The various books I've read have said to expect this as a symptom and I've had it a fair bit (although admittedly have always had low BP).

Agree that our care is all over the place and there seems to be no consistency about what has and hasn't been dropped. I have a consultant appointment as things stand at the end of the month and half expecting that to be moved to phone, but I'm going to fight it if so as I don't think going from 10 weeks to your third trimester without seeing someone in person or having urine tests etc is very good, bluntly. I know they are changing things for our protection but I sort of feel it needs to be our choice what is the lesser evil for us...

Yeh, it will be 15 weeks without any tests when I see mw on Monday, and I'm 39 so it's hard not to worry.

Hi @Viletta, hope you are feeling better, I'd say maybe ask your midwife about being tested for anaemia and GD as I did the same, my sister was anaemic during her pregnancy and told me the symptoms can be easily identified as "just being pregnant", but it's really best to check. (reminded me of early pregnancy symptoms being the same or similar to PMS..).

Also got a leaflet about pre-eclampsia that can occur during pregnancy and is more common that I thought (I also have low BP and thought it automatically means I am not likely to have that, but my friend unfortunately disapproved that with her own experience).

These are not major-major issues, only if you don't know if them, so I agree with @Wimbledon1 that we need to measure up the risks of having a condition unnoticed VS attending appointments to get checked out and might catch CV-19. Going on for months with no check up is scary for me too, last time I had my blood taken was in March.

I think also, and don’t get me wrong I don’t like it one bit, we’re still all at the stage where “there’s not much they can do” from memory after 24/28 weeks they tend to keep a closer eye on the baby and mum but until then they don’t. That’s not a Covid thing that I think is just how it is.

I must have been extremely lucky as my midwife is amazing. I'm seeing her tomorrow because I need someone to process the urine and swabs that the consultant needs. I saw her at 8, 16 and will at 25 for routine appointments, plus at least 3 times extra for either reassurance and/or swab and urine taking. I feel so cross that others aren't receiving that level of care.

@DobbieFreeElf I agree that (bluntly) they can only do something at 24 weeks so if something goes wrong before then they seem slightly less concerned. I panicked about reduced movement over the weekend and they said they don't hook you up to a tracker until past 24 weeks - but they did have me in straight away to check heartbeat and a scan, so I definitely was happy enough with that.

I'm hoping for all of us that we get the best care, and that it becomes easier for us once we reach "V-day" as someone said to me this week - viability day!!

@DobbieFreeElf true but GD and anemia can be treated and monitored, albeit normally they will be looking into it after week 28, however if there are symptoms they can test earlier.

@October2020 you have been lucky! I don't even have a midwife. In fact thanks to confusion in my paperwork I don't even know which of several midwife teams is mine at my hospital. It's not been great although to be fair as you said if you call through the person on the other end is always nice and helpful.

What are people thinking of as 'V Day' then? Several people have mentioned 24 weeks as behind the landmark, but as I'm understanding it that is when it becomes possible for the baby to be saved. But it's not until 26 or 27 weeks that becomes likely. So I'm seeing week 26 as the target. Nearly a month to go 😬

I think there is no reason for us to think our babies will be premature. There are so many what ifs along the way, especially if for any reason we will have to deliver early. I'm hoping to carry to term and deliver without induction. But of course anything can happen. It's a fun abstract though to think baby don't need us after 24w, as abstract as division of development on trimesters.

@Wimbledon1 at 24 weeks your child has a 75% chance of surviving, and a 75% chance after that of having no lifelong challenges. So for me, I will feel better after 24weeks.... it would still be a disaster going into labour at 24weeks, obviously, but I like numbers! And I like the reassurance that there would be action to save my baby and not just an "I'm so sorry" conversation.

@Viletta I agree - for most people it is most likely that we will be at 40weeks moaning like mad that we want them here now! But it is a lovely abstract thought to know that after 24 weeks it is nice for them to be inside us... but not essential!

I don’t know why but I’ve had in my head just get to 24 then 28 then 32 but as you say, I went to 42 weeks last time and never had any question in my mind that I wouldn’t get to term. I started my maternity leave on my due date which confirms to me that I had absolutely no thoughts about anything happening before then! I wish I could be as laid back --naive-- this time round!

Oh god yes don't get me wrong, that was not a "what week are we aiming to give birth" question. Very definitely 40! It's just as @October2020 says below, it's when you can feel that you've crossed a threshold to knowing whatever happens from here you should be safe. A reassurance landmark really!

Although perhaps partly to make @Viletta's point that there's no point over thinking it, I found much less good statistics for the 24 week mark (on Tommy's I think?) of only slightly more than 50/50. It was after that and their 90% figure for week 27 that I thought I should recalculate my V Day. But let's face it, I'll probably find something else to worry about after that anyway 😏

Have anyone else's boobs stopped seeming pregnant? They are still the same size and stuffed with extra prominent veins, but they have stopped hurting and feeling rock hard. Not sure if this is a hormone thing now the placenta has fully taken over and bump isn't using much of my hormones. But does feel like they want to be gearing up for breast feeding really!

Hi all,

My midwife replied that I don't have high risk of GD as it's only parents who count, GD will be rested only if I have sugar in urine on two occasions, anemia will be tested at 28w. She said having low sugar dizzy episodes are normal and I should make sure I snack. She put my mind at ease:)

@Wimbledon1 I also noticed boobs being softer and not painful, no veins for me but my nipples are very dark and can go very big too!

That’s good @Viletta 😊

@Wimbledon1 boobs very much “normal” in texture (totally the wrong word but I can’t think of a better one!) but looking larger. My nipples are pretty huge and dark too! But no pain!

I had my 20 week scan today, unfortunately the little spud was very uncooperative and spent the whole scan curled face down in a ball. Retried to scan me after a walk, some chocolate and 20 mins but he/she was still being unhelpful and had their little arms over their face 🤦🏻‍♀️ They Didn’t manage to get a good enough view of the face or heart to “complete” the scan and so are sending me another scan appointment 🤷🏻‍♀️ Everything else seemed fine and the heart was beating away so I’m not hugely worried and I’ll never pass up the opportunity of another scan! Sadly no pics so my husband didn’t get to see the little one which I can tell he’s pretty sad about.

Oh good @Viletta I'm glad to hear she put your mind at rest. And with advice to snack more, that's ideal advice isn't it 😂

And glad everything seems ok with your bump too @DobbieFreeElf - doesn't sound like there is anything to worry about and as you said, I'd be very happy with going back to see him or her another time...I was slightly hoping baby wouldn't comply at mine too!! How long do you have to wait?

Not sure @Wimbledon1. The sonographer said “take this form and they’ll book you an appointment” and then they took the form and said they will send me a letter. Apparently it has to be done before 23 weeks so within the next fortnight I guess

My midwife just called to discuss contraception for after the birth 😂😂😂. I asked if infertility counted as contraception 😂.

@Chooklass 😂😂😂 I was actually thinking, aren't I lucky we don't need any after birth or ever really 😂

@Viletta - Although I have a colleague who had two children by IVF then a surprise third naturally! It's not unknown for IVF and pregnancy to fix whatever was wrong in some cases so I guess we should probably bear that in mind 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

@Chooklass I'd love if that happened to me. However if DH's sperm count improved 10 times it would still be too low for a natural conception. We haven't used protection for 6 years. If I do fall pregnant naturally that would be a welcome surprise 😊

Haha I think childbirth itself will just do the job for a while :D

Btw @Chooklass has your midwife requested the baby box for you? I was super surprised to see it has condoms in it, wasn't sure I was looking at the right list when I saw it at first.

@Lily999 I saw it had condoms in it! Made me laugh 😂😂😂. My midwife explained yesterday that studies have shown that getting pregnant within a year of birth has detrimental affect on maternal health, babies welfare and relationships, so they are on a mission to prevent it. Makes sense, just seems crazy even thinking about it after what we've all been through to get pregnant!!