Dec19/Jan20 IVF Graduates - Thread 2

[Chooklass]

New thread for us all to keep in touch. Think we're all nearing the end of the first trimester or dipping our toes into the second ... how far we've come since the days of agonising over stims!

Link to old thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_clubs/3812203-Dec19-Jan20-IVF-Graduates

@Viletta I had really bad cravings for salt at the beginning but not as much now! Occasionally I get a random taste for something, this week it has been milkybar chocolate!

Baby must have shifted position as I am not feeling movements as strongly today or yesterday. Have still felt a few so trying not to worry. Midwife did say it was very common for them to vary in strength and position until a bit later on.

The mumba bras look amazing! If I end up needing others I might try those.

@October2020 I have really quiet days too. Sonographer said it's normal at this stage, especially with an anterior placenta (which I have). I swear it was using my cervix as a trampoline yesterday though ... very weird feeling!!

I haven't felt much movements yesterday but today they are back on track. I think he moves up and gets covered by my anterior placenta. I wonder when and if DH will be able to feel / see movements from outside. This babe is well protected with a layer of fat 🙈

Who else has what in the freezer? We have 3 2 top quality and 1 the same as the one I’m carrying 🤣 we have already had the chat about what we feel is the right thing to do with them. Before everything were always planning on having 2 children.

One thing I’d say is that the obsession for having a second (especially with the miscarriages I suffered) really impacted me, my husband, our relationship... I don’t think DS was ever directly affected but maybe there were down days that I wasn’t the mother I strive to be.

Anyway, we’re now of the opinion that we should give the ones in the freezer their chance. I’m only (only 🤣🤣) 33 we have a large enough house, although we plan to move to the “forever house” next year 🤞 I do think about the financial impact of more kids but we should be fine, probably the difference between private school for 2 or state for more but we’re in the south east and (massive generalisation) most of the schools around are decent!

Our “plan” is to FET when this bump is turning 1 and ask if there’s any chance of putting 2 in (my clinic doesn’t usually) I’ll be just turned 35... asks how I feel about this in 6 months when I haven’t slept in weeks! 🤣

Sorry I missed the extra page of posts! 🤣

We have 6 frozen embryos - no idea on quality as didn't ask at the time (no idea even about this one in me!) but assume they wouldn't freeze if no chance at all.

I think we would definitely consider another go but I do worry about the impact of failed cycles/miscarriages as you say @DobbieFreeElf. But that's a fair way into the future yet. We've agreed we aren't choosing a convertible pram as a priority because even if we go again we would wait a while I think. I'm only 30 so there is time.

@Viletta I agree on the benefits of being at home, I was speaking to someone on video today that I know would be asking me every time they saw me in the office how I am / comment on my size. It’s nice not to have too much background noise!

We have 4 in ‘the freezer’ frozen when I was 34. Not as great quality as the one that is on board now (and indeed as the one that didn’t work). We plan (I say this now...) to use those in the hope for a second but not sure I would go as far as a full fresh cycle again. I would be 36 by the time we looked to try a FET.

I'm turning 34 but the embryo was marked at age 32 as he was frozen when I was 32:) so I think those of you with frosties can wait as it's the age of the embryo that counts. I'm going to be 36 I think when/if we go for another full cycle. I'm thinking of financial implications of IVF cycles that would fail.. we were successful on our 4th transfer, 2 fresh and 2 frozen. Although there is a fancy clinic in Cyprus that looks nice, might be a holiday destination 😂

We have 1 top quality in the freezer and we always wanted 2kids (DH is an only child and he loves the relationship I have with my sister), so we will definitely go for FET once we are ready, then if that fails (we succeeded for the first time and had one leftover so still consider ourselves lucky) we might do a private round and hope for the best.

I just turned 35so the embie is from age 34, we feel we can take on another one, have the space, but the only way we end up with 3is if the second one is a twin haha as my sister has 3and she loves it, but I keep thinking omg we were only given 2hands at birth haha!

Yes my frosties are now younger than me which is funny, but are still 37. And I have three but none as good quality as the one on board (I think the best is 4BB which I think would probably be described as 'decent' rather than quality.) I wouldn't say never but think it's likely we'll stick to the one although allow nature to take its course, you never know!

@October2020 - I hear you! I did research and it's pretty conclusive that you being stressed does the little one no harm unless it's sustained and serious. But my Mum a month or two back told me I'd have a "very sad little baby with all this worrying". Because that helps mother!!! 🙄

Off to order some bras as a 22 weeks today treat. Thanks everyone!

Oh and also, I spoke to someone new about my pregnancy yesterday from a social distance in a car show room, who said she wouldn't even have known I was pregnant as I was so tiny (I'm not, see below!) but yes it did make me think I'd be facing permanent commentary on my size etc if we were out in the real world right now!!

What a lovely, lovely bump @Wimbledon1! You definitely look pregnant! I'm also glad not to be having my body scrutinised just now. People are a bit obsessed with bumps sometimes? A couple of colleagues have said 'you have to send us photos of your bump!' and I find it a bit weird, they aren't close friends or anything. I've heard pregnant women talk about how their bodies feel like public property before but only just understanding what they meant. (At the same time, I'm also kinda sad not to be able to show it off?! 🤷🏻‍♀️)

@Chooklass I am the same, on one hand I wish I could go to the office especially that now I actually feel I am in a "pretty bump" phase, I am sure it will change in the third and I will want to hide away with my swollen ankles and enormous belly, on the other hand I know people would want to discuss my everchanging body that is a bit strange to do with colleagues.
Also saw a funny T-shirt saying "If you didn't put it there don't touch it" that made me giggle as I know people like to touch pregnant bellies haha.

@Wimbledon1 you definitely look pregnant, I am not sure why anyone would think otherwise..?

As for stress I was worried my anxiety would affect the baby, but then one of my friends said remember kids were born during wars, awful times and the level of stress you are having is probably a lot lower, so I found that comforting.

@Wimbledon1 aww you've got a gorgeous bump!

I think people often do t know what to say, I do t think they mean bad. I'd rather hear that I do t look pregnant than that I do look pregnant as I was worried my bump looks too big. We had a lady at work who was pregnant and I never spoke to her about it and sometimes wondered if I was rude not to mention it.. I also remember seeing a mother telling a crying 2 year old that she would leave her if she continues and though what a horrible thing to say.. I couldn't help but judge. Is it probably in our biology to care about babies even if they are not our business? Also I think we are so pressured by the unattainable image of a Perfect Mum, it's important to remember that all parents are different and no one is perfect.

I’ve seen my PIL a couple of times in the last week, MIL “wow, amazing to think you’re that size already and still have all the way to October to go”. FIL “are you sure it’s just one” and “I think you’ve expanded in just the last few days” 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yours is very neat @Wimbledon1! Mine definitely isn’t! I’m feeling rather stretched already!

Gorgeous bump @Wimbledon1!

I try to go along the lines that people feel they need to say something and are just making polite conversation but have to say I’m enjoying the lack of scrutiny! Having said that @Lily999 I agree that there is a part of me missing not having that kind of interaction too! I can’t quite get my head around having left the office in mid March and probably not returning until November 2021!

I wouldn’t worry about anxiety I pregnancy rubbing off. My mum has become increasingly anxious as the years have gone on and there is no doubt that a bit of that has rubbed off on me, but it’s been absorbed from teenage years onwards. She was very relaxed in her pregnancy and in the early years of bringing us up! Don’t know what that says about us as teenagers!

Hello ladies 😀

Apologies for having disappeared for so long. Like many of you I’ve been working from home since lockdown started and have been working longer every day than if I was in the office. Haven’t told them I’m pregnant yet though 🤭

Things are ok with me and baby, in fact I really can’t complain. All good in the 20 week scan but wriggler didn’t cooperate (again) and sonographer asked for a second visit next week to check the heart. It appears that I am having a girl and we are over the moon 💕. I am now starting to think about the nursery and have already bought most of the furniture. Unfortunately the nursery still has no flooring and the shops are still closed.

I’m happy to see everyone is doing well. Loved to see bumps and scan pics 🥰. Out of curiosity do we have more boys or girls on this thread? 💜💙

@QuantumGirl congratulations on the little girl! Well done for getting the nursery fortnights! It only crossed my mind recently that I will need a storage for his clothes! So far I only have a travel system from a friend, clothes from friends and a next2me for from mil. We probably will set the nursery up when he is here and ready to move to his own room.

Hello @QuantumGirl 👋🏻 Great to hear everything has been going well with you - other than working too hard. I've had a few weeks like that as I'm in a sector that's quite badly effected by CV-19 but it's better now, hope yours improves soon too. When are you going to tell work?

Congratulations on the little girl 💕 I think that brings us to an even count. There were previously three boys and @October2020 and @Littlelot having girls I think? Then the others of us sticking with team yellow. So it's a good spread!

Definitely agree with you all that people are mostly trying to be nice when asking about your bump and size. In fact I've done it myself enough times in recent years and asked to feel if a friend mentioned kicking etc. So have definitely been guilty of it too, just only now appreciating what it's like on the other end of it!

Hi all, hope you had nice weekend! I had a weird episode of feeling really weak and lightheaded, blood pressure was ok, eating a sweet helped. Then I also sometimes feel dainty after eating porridge for breakfast. I have messaged my midwife to ask how soon can I have a gestational diabetes test.. also started having a heartburn that I never had before. Read that it might be baby pushing on the stomach, I'm 23w and wondering if he is too big.. thinking of a private growth scan in the next 2-3 weeks, DH will be able to come too. Have you had anything similar?

@Viletta have you got a 24 week midwife appointment? I know our trust has cancelled them but my midwife said to go ahead and book through the doctors anyway. At every regular midwife appointment she should test your urine and measure your bump so she should give you the answers you need. I would say feeling faint can just be because of all the extra work that your body is doing or a dip in blood sugar and heartburn is a real bitch, the only time in my life I experienced it was when pregnant with DS, make sure you’ve got Rennie on hand at all times! X

@DobbieFreeElf I've got a phone appointment at 27w.. haven't had my bump measured yet and last time they checked blood and urine was at 12w. I don't know how in 21 century they still rely on it though. Where I am from they do scans for growth measurement and to determine position before labor. I think I might have a private scan sometime after week 30. Also not sure if it when they are going to do another blood or ursine test.. I was hoping they'll test for anemia as well at some point.

@Viletta - what a coincidence! I've been feeling very odd the last two days, really light headed and quite weak and exhausted. Luckily I have a face to face midwife appointment a week today and will be getting blood/ urine tests as I was also worrying about anaemia/ GD. My Mum has chronic anaemia so I wouldn't be surprised if I got it.

I did read that we should expect some breathlessness and rib pain in next few weeks as baby grows - so that sounds normal?

@Viletta it’s hard to know what is usual care at the moment and what is affected by CV19. Do you have one of these charts in your hospital notes?

With DS my urine was checked at every MW appointment and I also had a fasting blood test but I think she said they have done away with that in the meantime.

Sadly I think a lot of the care we are receiving has been affected.

Shit forgot the pic! @Viletta