Dec19/Jan20 IVF Graduates - Thread 2

[Chooklass]

New thread for us all to keep in touch. Think we're all nearing the end of the first trimester or dipping our toes into the second ... how far we've come since the days of agonising over stims!

Link to old thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_clubs/3812203-Dec19-Jan20-IVF-Graduates

@October2020 good luck today!

@Wimbledon1 I’ve had moments usually when I’m very still (relaxing in the bath) where I’ve thought I could feel something but there’s no pattern to it and I feel it one day and then not for several days. Also wouldn’t be sure that it was the baby as Villetta said it could be so many things. This is my second baby (although 8yrs since my last) so I’d hoped I’d be more sure. Last time I didn’t really feel anything definite until about 21/22 weeks and then he got stronger and stronger. Was a very strong boy when he was born - Even shocked the midwives.

I think it’s my turn to have a wobble at the moment. I’d loved to have had my midwife appointment last week and listened to the heartbeat. It feels so long since the 12 week scan and I’m starting to worry something may have gone wrong and I just wouldn’t know. My rational side does know that the chances of this are tiny but think despite everything (scans etc) I still can’t quite believe this is actually happening after so many years of trying. Arg think I may drive myself mad.

@Littlelot I am the same. Can't wait for the scan which is now going to be on the 18th May. I want to see that the baby is still there! And growing correctly. I wonder how women used to cope before the scans.. logically we feel well so all should be good! When is your next scan?

Baby fine! Kicking away, midwife said she's not sure she's ever heard such a wriggly baby!

Things for reassurance for us all:
Totally normal not to feel any movements until 20+ weeks. She said movements at the moment might feel a bit like gas or bubbles but not to panic at all if we get nothing!
Totally normal not to have a bump/not to be able to feel uterus. She poked me and literally instantly found it after I'd said I couldn't at all! She tried to show me and she said it should feel a bit like a hard ridge at the top about an inch below my belly button........ even with her finger literally guiding me I couldn't really feel it! So please don't panic those of us who are soft tummied still
Totally normal for bump to feel bigger some days than others - could be bloat, clothing, baby's position.... she said not to worry at all (and not to obsessively compare week on week photos like I've been doing..........)

Such a relief because I couldn't feel less pregnant but yet I could definitely hear the heartbeat and these huge thuds when it kicked. Really sorry for people not getting their 16 week appointment... it totally sucks to be missing out on it. Didn't want to rub it in but hoped I might bring some reassurance seeing as we've all been worried this week!

Going to enjoy the approximately 24hrs of worry free time before the anxiety sinks back in now....

Ha, yes part of the reason I'd asked if others were feeling movement yet was because in my various books there are about six different descriptions of what it might feel like. And as you ladies have said, there are so many little things at the moment, how would you know?! 🤯 @Littlelot it's helpful to know it was 21 weeks before you were very sure last time. A little time to wait yet most likely then! (Although well done perceptive mother to be @Chooklass for having pinpointed it already, good work 👏🏻 and that's really exciting!)

Sorry to hear you are having a wobble @Littlelot. I continue to gain precisely no weight and am lighter than I was at 10 weeks so have had lots of these wrestles myself not having got to hear a heartbeat at 16 weeks. 😿 A few thoughts if it helps? Not only is the miscarriage rate down to between 1 and 2% by this time, many of those are because of cervical incompetence so, sadly, you would definitely know about that if that had happened to you. Then you've got to count in the people who had an issue at their 12 week scan (which you didn't)! who knew their babies were higher risk. My best friend sadly lost a baby at 20 weeks last year but had known since her 12 week that his organs were growing outside his body and therefore it was a risk. So not only can the rational part of your brain know the risk is low, it can actually add that the risk of baby's heart having just stopped is much lower than any percentages or data you would find online. 😊

(There is a chance I've typed that out in full to make myself reassured as well as you!!) xx

Very reassuring @Wimbledon1 thank you for typing it out

@October2020 I am so happy for you! Hoping I can join you on Wednesday for a happy 24hours :)

Thank you for sharing all the information you've got, it is a huge relief to read them all. Obviously will start looking for that ridge haha, yesterday I felt my belly was going to burst open, I think there is definitely some growing going on in there now, it was painful and I had to pee like immediately. Still hoping to feel movements next week, but I will keep reminding myself it's ok if I don't.

@Viletta that is a very good question, I think women had a lot more faith in mother nature as I asked my sister how was her antenatal care and she told me they took bloods from her every second week + had scans every month and she hated it (they lived abroad 8years ago with her husband when she had her first). I was just staring at her why would you hate having so many check ups I would have imagined it felt secure knowing they are looking after you, but she disagreed. Obviously never had any issues with TTC so that's how other women feel I guess :)

@Littlelot if you feel like the 8weeks are too long without a proper check up can you not request an appointment to go private? I had the same (nothing between the 8th of April and the 2nd of June) so I arranged the NIPT harmony scan for next week at week 16 to fit in the middle. I can completely understand you'd like a check.

@FlapJackered I am still hoping they will change their policy in the last minute and he can come in as this is also a little private clinic so I wouldn't expect many people to be present as they are only doing one type of scans and there is one slot available at once.

@October2020 sorry our messages overlapped and Id not seen yours but hurrah, that's great news that wriggler is doing so well. What a relief (although chuckled at your '24 hours of reassurance' point 😂) Congratulations!!

Thank you so much for asking her all of our many questions too, so helpful. And good to get the reassurance on varying bump sizes etc.

I've worked in a gyn/ob + IVF clinic in my early days as a translator assistant to a gyn/obs. We followed pregnancies up to 36 weeks. Who would have known that I would be on the other end of it! Although having said that from ~10 ladies working as assistants in our department, 3 had IVF at some point. So it's indeed not as uncommon. I think overall this past experience helped me being so casual about the whole process. My doc was known for calming patients down. In 3 years working there I've never seen an issue after 12w. There were some worries over organ development at around 20w but this always cleared out after 30w at least from the cases I have seen.

Congrats @October2020 ! That must be a relief xx

Is everyone doing their pelvic floor exercises? I've been trying to remember but need to get better. Friends keep telling me I'll really regret it if I don't! 😳

@Chooklass I have been trying, but doing it 3times a day is just not going to happen for me :( So jealous that you can feel the movements, I hope I can join you soon.

@Viletta that's nice to hear issues were uncommon with pregnancies, it's very comforting.

Having a cry listening to Matt Hancock say that fertility treatment can start again and it doesn't even affect me! So so pleased for people who had cycles cancelled and treatment put on hold.

Another poster said up thread about how lovely it is that everyone is helping each other out with settling their own anxieties whilst dealing with their own. If only we would listen to the advice we give others.

Great news @October2020 on your appointment.

I get the impression some places may still see people face to face at 16 weeks if you push them if you are really anxious, worth keeping in mind.

Re bump watch some lovely ones on here . Mine is almost flat in the morning but pretty big by the end of the day. Mainly bloating I imagine, but I am enjoying it whatever it is.

@October2020 it's such good news isn't it! It made me so thankful that we managed to have our cycles before all this kicked off but so sad for all the people who are now stuck waiting. Horrible.
Congrats on your scan!! So pleased for you, although I had a good feeling all would be well! Thanks for getting all the information. I have just tried to feel the uterus with no luck, it all feels the same to me, which probably means it's just too much cake! 😂🙈

@Wimbledon1 it is good to hear the stats and remind ourselves that most likely all will be well. I think particularly with IVF we are so geared up for something to go wrong it doesn't feel safe to let our guard down and just enjoy it. Which we should! I am going to try and be more positive once the blood test results come back on Tuesday! 🤞

@Chooklass I have been terrible at PF exercises. definitely need to up my game there as I have heard how important they are. 😬

@Viletta that's very reassuring to hear.

How are we all doing?

I had my 16 week appointment today but literally all she did was take my blood pressure - so those of you without them, you aren't missing a huge amount.

I have mine next week @October2020 (though I'll be about 18wks then!). Not heard yet if it will be over the phone or in person yet.

My lower back is really bothering me now so I'll definitely be asking about that. Otherwise I'm feeling pretty good just now. Making the most of it while it lasts 😃.

We had our NIPT blood test back today and it was all clear for everything! 😁 We are so relieved! And we found out we are having a boy!!!! We weren't going to find out but then had the opportunity with NiPT and just felt we have had enough surprises and waits with ttc, ivf then this Downs scare and it was a really lovely way to look forward rather than the constant worry! 💙
I hope everyone else is doing ok?
Is anyone else struggling to stay off their back when sleeping? I find it really hard to sleep on my side now which isn't ideal. 😬

That is wonderful news @FlapJackered! Really pleased for you. And a boy 💙, that is lovely.

Whoop, that's brilliant news @FlapJackered, so pleased and relieved for you that everything was clear. And a little boy!! Congratulations 🙌🏻 Although we also decided we won't find out, totally get the reasons for changing your minds there, as you say, great way to look forward. Hurrah 💙 Hope you can enjoy from here.

@October2020 - interesting there was nothing more than that to it. Did they not even listen to baby's heartbeat? That's the main thing I'm gutted about. 29 May until I can check that it's still there!

Actually talking to a friend tonight who works in a GP practice, she reckoned it was worth phoning mine and they might have a Doppler or the ability to do a little listen for me if I have a decent reason (mine would still be zero weight gain!) Does anyone have experience of this, asking a GP surgery to check you out, in this or another pregnancy? I might just ask the question, nothing to lose...

Did my first online maternity fitness class tonight. It was good but hard work!! Emphasised I need to get so much fitter. At one point after we'd been doing a thigh exercise for about three minutes and I wanted to die, she said cheerily "don't forget you will be using these muscles solidly for hours during labour". 🤯🙈

Congratulations @FlapJackered !!! 🥳💙🥳💙🥳💙 A wee boy! Such lovely news 😃

Congratulations @FlapJackered 💙

@Wimbledon1 I’ve only ever had a Doppler check by a midwife either at an appointment or in the hospital. I’m not sure about a GP doing it, it’s quite a skill and at 16 weeks even a midwife can struggle to find the heartbeat. Also, our surgery are only doing phone appointments at the moment so I don’t know if you can get to see someone face2face With everything going on. I would have thought that a GP would just refer you to the EPU who (in my opinion having dealt with them a fair bit the last couple of weeks) are useless and currently only arranging appointments if you have “ serious symptoms. If you are really worried you could call ask midwife? x

Thanks @DobbieFreeElf - have seen some other threads on Mumsnet suggesting GPs sometimes do do this but agree it sounds a specialist skill. I might speak on the phone with the senior GP who is the one who referred me for my IVF and see what she thinks. The midwife basically said as you did, that they only want you to come in if you're bleeding or something else really serious is going on. Which I do understand. And honestly no I'm not super worried and have no reason to be other than having missed out on the reassurance of the early second trimester appointment. Just thought if that could be solved with a two minute walk around the corner that would be good for my mental state but the other option is to just stop fussing 😉

Speaking of which, I decided to distract myself from worry over the weekend with a silly RomCom. Went for Marley and Me. NOT RECOMMENDED!! Spoiler alert but although this is meant to be family fun about a naughty dog, 40 minutes in and Jennifer Anniston is in with a sonographer unable to find her baby's heartbeat and having been told she's had a missed miscarriage. Not what I was looking for! 🙈😂

@Wimbledon1 they did listen to the heartbeat yeah, but I know lots of places don't at 16 weeks. Can't you contact your midwife? Mine has been amazing and has been more than happy to see me for reassurance. Clinics etc are still running here - I suppose it depends on where you are in the country.

Congrats @FlapJackered on results and a BOY! How exciting we are hoping to find out with a scan tomorrow... we'll see!

Had the consultant today who was really reassuring and made me feel like all will be okay! Which is good

@FlapJackered what a relief!! So happy for you, finally you can have some well deserved time to truly relax! And a little boy, that's lovely, I can't wait to find it out as well, we have always wanted to know.

@October2020 tomorrow will be exciting for the both of us then :) I have my midwife appointment and they said they will listen to the heartbeat that I am very much looking forward to.

We will have a scan on Saturday, but I am not getting my hopes up about spotting the gender as it'll only be 16+3, @Flapjackered you mentioned this NIPT scan is more detailed, now that you know it's a boy would you say it was visible last week on the scan?

As for sleeping I do wake up sometimes on my back, but I think the weight of the baby is still so small you shouldn't worry about it too much.

Ooh I asked my midwife about the back thing - she said at the moment it doesn't matter and when baby is big enough for it to matter, you will wake yourself up - she said fall asleep on your side and if you wake in the night then turn onto your side but otherwise don't worry. So that was reassuring!

Good luck for tomorrow @Lily999 let us know!!