Due June 2020: Thread 5

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New thread ready! x

After my moan the other day I'm feeling a bit better now. Had a long chat and a cry with hubby yesterday and got some of it out of my system. Think I'm just overwhelmed by everything and feel a bit lonely. Anyway, the highlight of my day yesterday was going out with hubby to pick up our tesco click and collect order! It's ridiculous but other than medical appointments, I've not been anywhere for over 4 weeks and although I didn't even get out of the car, it was something different in my day. Plus I did my pregnancy yoga class on zoom last night and that was good, too.

I've managed to get another click and collect next week this morning. Asda release their slots in the early morning and they even had delivery available next week, too. I chose C&C because it's nice to get out it was earlier in the week than a delivery slot. I've got a Tesco delivery booked the week after, too, so no going to the shops for hubby for quite a while now. Worth trying asda if you're up early as there were quite a few slots available for me this morning x

I’m also planning on breastfeeding and like several of you wondered whether I might give up too easily if I had formula in. I’ve decided to get the starter pack with the disposable bottle/teets to take just in case there are any issues, particularly as everything is so uncertain now, but I’m determined not to use them!

@Millettmum I’m so very sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how painful that must be and to be pregnant at the same time must make it additionally challenging. Welcome to our thread xxx

@Millettmum that is so heartbreaking I am so sorry to hear that we are hear if you ever want to discuss her or anything else :) take care of yourself x

Morning guys.
Out of interest what exercise is everyone doing if anything?

Before pregnancy I was a real keep fit person.
Now I'm pretty much just managing a 30 min walk everyday. Sometimes some squats. That's about it!

@MsMiaWallace I'm walking once a day usually upto 90 mins just over in the countryside. I was a big walker before really missing being able to go out wherever and whenever but this is better than nothing, doing yoga once a week need to up this can't quite gel with it though

@MsMiaWallace
I started yoga over FaceTime a couple of weeks ago, doing it three times a week now to try help the front pelvis pain.

@mrssunshinexxx
Yes and actually even easier than that! You can serve at room temp if you want so no need to warm up! I guess baby might like it a little warmer, but in times of desperation I think I’d be trying room temp 😂

I really really want to breastfeed too so I hope I’m not just setting myself up for failure by having it in the house. But then my sister who has breastfed my nephew had a rocky start and actually used formula a few times to help her and baby out in the early weeks to help take the pressure off whilst they go themselves sorted, and she went on to breastfeed him the rest of the time. Now she mix feeds and he is breastfed most of the time but will have formula occasionally from his dad in the evenings so my sister gets some time to herself. They also found he settled better at night with formula.
I know everyone is different so to each their own, but as much as I want to breastfeed I have no issue with supplementing with formula every now and then especially if it actually helps us to sustain breastfeeding in the long term.

@Millettmum I’m so incredibly sorry to hear of your loss. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. This is a lovely and supportive group so feel free to rant, ask questions etc whenever you like ❤️

@RPPs yes I found that video the other day and tried to get hubby to watch with me lol we got about 30 min in. But it seems very good so far!

@Larrydavid oh great I'm at Homerton too! Did they offer you a 36 week scan before all this happened? They offered it to me as part of preeclampsia research. I wonder if they will go ahead with it.

Thanks @Gigitree our 'plan' is for me to EBF until establish then evenings when hubby is home (he works away 3 nights ) he will give her a bottle of formula for bonding , means I don't have to waste time expressing and like you say I've researched and it can make them sleep longer x

@Rinoa they did. Then they cancelled it but I was rushed in for bleeding at the weekend (they think my placenta is still low) so I have a 32 week scan on Monday and they said I will probably be scanned at 36 weeks too. Most of my appointments had been cancelled though or moved to a quick phone call.

@Millettmum so sorry for your loss.

Walking past my snuzpod last night I realised one of the wooden legs has snapped. So annoyed and upset. Lent it to a friend so not sure if it broke there or in transit. Luckily the actual bassinet is fine so we've decided to use that downstairs and I've bought a new one for upstairs. Still another £100 down the drain 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Also the toddler woke up at 330am for a wee and then dicked about til 5am so we are both tired and grumpy this morning. Counting down to naptime!

@APD1981 interesting that you went in for increased movements, I came here today to ask if anyone has had a day where baby doesn’t stop moving. She’s normally pretty quiet during the day and more active at night but she’s been non stop almost all day (it’s 7:35pm here). Not frantic movements though, just a lot more than usual. Have a scan in the morning anyway.

@Millettmum sorry to hear about your loss - it must be such an emotional time for you and you are being so amazingly strong. Hopefully our company and pregnancy chatter on this thread will be of some comfort 

@mrssunshinexxx please don't feel guilty! My first pg I had no nausea or first trimester woes to speak of and I was active and feeling great until baby came. Enjoy it as you are one of the lucky ones! I'm not so lucky this time haha - Please bear with our moaning there might be more to come closer to due date!

Oh no @AndddddHerewegoagain! At least you noticed ahead of time and there's still time to get another one before baby comes.

Which online yoga courses/channels are worth trying? Walking kills my hips and yoga is meant to help any tightness/soreness

@LillianFullStop i downloaded an app called PregNur thats free. Its a gentle workout app. I also bought some yoga and pilates dvds. First pregnancy i went to pregnancy pilates each week but dh is a shift worker so its been harder this time and now they obviously aren't running!!!

@UKtoSK I have a pretty active baby anyway but 2 weeks ago baby just didn't stop all day. I tried everything! I walked to try and lull it to sleep, tried to nap to see if it'd sleep when I did but nope. I didn't get 10 mins where it was quiet throughout the whole day. The midwife said, though, that with increased movement the jury is still out a bit as to whether it does indicate an issue. It's very important with reduced movements but increased ones are usually just a sign of an active baby. Still, it's really good you have a scan tomorrow just in case. I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight and she calms down a bit!

For those asking about having formula when planning to breastfeed I would second the good advice from @Gigitree

Giving a top up or a formula feed is not a failure or caving in, you don't have to put yourself through hell to successfully feed your baby. I did that with my first and it didn't end well (hello PPA). Successful feeding is when everybody, including Mum, is happy and have full bellies #bottlesboobsortubes 

As @Gigitree said, supplementing with formula can be a really helpful if you (or baby) are struggling with BF and need a break. Research shows topping up in the early days can actually help prolong breastfeeding.

Having done the midnight dash to the 24hr Tesco with no idea of what to get I would personally recommend having supplies in, or at least having a think about what formula you would like to use if you decide to do so and making a list prior to when the sleep deprivation and feeding struggles kick in.

Oops, didn't realise mentioning Gigitree twice would make it look like I quoted her. The text in bold is actually my words. Sorry!

@APD1981 thank you, that’s very reassuring. I don’t feel like anything is wrong. She is a very active baby in general it seems. And she has always gone through phases of quiet days and active days. I just worry about everything I think being a first timer - worry if she doesn’t move enough, worry if she moves too much. I think she was pretty quiet all last night while I was sleeping instead so maybe that’s why. I actually slept pretty well last night. And she was quiet while I napped earlier.

Agree completely with @SerBrienneOfHouseTarth and @Gigitree - having to top up with formula is not a failing or caving in. The happiness of you and your baby is the most important thing and if you haven't breastfed before I really wouldn't underestimate how challenging it can be, particularly if you have a difficult birth or a difficult baby! Obviously we hope that won't happen to people on this thread but statistically it will to some of us and trust me you don't want to be beating yourself up for 'failure' in the midst of everything else to worry about in the first couple of months.

@LillianFullStop you can moan away. I will probably join you at some point I just typed in pregnancy yoga for beginners on YouTube and clicked top one thing the lady was called Sarah x

@Pegase @SerBrienneOfHouseTarth just to be clear I don't see formula as failing the main reason I want to mostly EBF is if I can crack it is definitely easier and i want the lazy option I think I will get a tub of powder as in the long run as mentioned hubby wants to give her bedtime bottle of formula and I imagine it better financially than the made up bottles now just to decide what brand ! I'm think I'll get my husband to hide the tub somewhere and we can see how we go! I have a steriliser and a couple of bottles x

Ive bought a few ready to go bottles as back up. Really hoping to breastfeed this time as ny son was born with a cleft lip and palate so couldn't. I did pump for several weeks but was producing about 4 ounces a day and he was drinking 6 ounces every 3 hours by 4 weeks! For my mental health i decided to stop and just formula feed.

I would agree with all above who have said having formula in the house or at least having a formula back up plan is not a bad idea at all. I can only speak from my experience when I had DD 3 years ago but I was so absolutely determined to breastfeed that I didn’t even think about formula, had no clue at all as I was so sure I would breastfeed. To be honest the amount of pressure I felt (either real or imagined!!) from every source including the NHS made it feel like the decision to breastfeed WAS this difficult bit, and that as long as I was determined enough I would be able to crack it. For me that was just not the case. I did manage to combi feed for the first 3 months and worked incredibly hard at it, but i do wish in hindsight that I had 1) got formula in just in case to save dh the mad dash to Tesco and 2) not given myself such a hard time about it.

That said I really really hope breastfeeding works out with this baby, and I do feel a bit more prepared for what to expect, but f it doesn’t work out I’m determined to be kinder to myself about it this time.

In summary: I honestly don’t think having formula in the house would have made me more likely to cave in and use it (I “caved” anyway for want of a better word, no matter how much I didn’t want to. Only difference being it was just more stressful having to get milk last minute).

Oh also whoever mentioned freaky dreams - yes! Last few weeks I’ve been having increasingly vivid and often stressful dreams. Last night’s was that dh wasn’t allowed to pick me up from hospital with the new baby (a bit of anxiety creeping in there it seems) and so I was carrying the baby in the car seat up a hill trying to find the car, and an old lady was asking me for help with her bags, and trying to take the baby off me. I ended up having to run away because she was really just trying to snatch the baby. It was an awful feeling,
Woke up with heart pounding!