Due May 2020 (thread 6)

[sao81]

6th thread already 😬😬😬 not long now

I think that they are using the media to put the fear in people to ensure that people take self isolating etc seriously, because if it wasn't scary, people wouldn't react to it. Does that make sense? I'm not saying this is right or wrong, that's just my opinion of the media. Obviously it's a very worrying time for anyone connected to it and I am not dismissing it for a single second, but I just wish that there was more focus on the positive outcomes too because they are out there and there is hope ❤️

But more importantly @mrsf1204 we're all here for you and I will say a prayer for your family tonight ❤️

Also @Purple29 I will definitely sign the petition! It makes complete sense and maternity rights should be considered in a changing world.
How are you and your little one doing? :)

@november90 I agree, we as pregnant women or new mums have a lot of added worry and stress so it should be considered. The little one is fine getting bigger again. Hopefully just another few weeks in hospital while he learns to feed.

Was catching up on posts earlier, sorry to hear your ex is being so difficult. Writing things down will help, as will having someone with you who can hear the call. Sounds pretty awful for you x

Hi everyone, I haven’t posted on here in ages but I’ve kept up with the threads... just wanted to let you know what my midwife told me on Monday about hospital arrangements. She said that they have changed protocol now and no matter how the babies are born the mothers will only be allowed to stay max one night and will be sent home the following day - providing there’s no major issues ...

I’m expecting twins and am having a section and the thought of being sent home the following day has made me really upset, I felt I needed the extra day the last time when I had my DD. However, my husband had just had cancer surgery, we’re on our own as family all abroad and can’t travel and if restrictions haven’t been lifted in 6 weeks (which I doubt they will be) then I’ll have to go in by myself anyway as we’ll have no one to have our 2 year old (who decided on Sunday to stop having daytime naps) ... So I’m mega anxious about it and my DH is upset at the thought of not being there for the birth of the twins but there’s not a lot we can do at the moment 😞, best of luck to you all Ladies, it’s a horribly uncertain time for everyone

@mrsf1204 I just saw your post so sorry to hear that and wishing your grandfather a speedy recovery.

New guidelines from royal college of obstetricians says they recommend that you should have a birth partner with you during labour and for the birth.

It's looking like this birth partner may be asked to leave after the baby arrives, depending on your nhs trust.

Although none of this is ideal, it has bought me some comfort. My section is in 3 weeks time, so the situation will only be worse by then.

Guidelines are different if you or your birth partner have or are showing symptoms of covid 19.

I have resigned myself to the fact I will probably have to do it alone as we have no one to have our son, so husband will have to stay with our son

Sending hugs to everyone. We will get through this ❤️

@Raindancer411 I realised today that I will probably be in the same boat as you and will be alone.
My ex doesn't want to be there and my mum will likely have to stay at home with my son because my ex is a key worker so he's not having contact with him currently whilst we're in lockdown. I imagine the lockdown will be extended and I'm not putting the newborn or my son at risk by him going to his dads :(

@mintbear thank you for this, I've just read it then and feel reassured! Although my midwife has mentioned a possibility for induction, I'm not too sure if it will go ahead now unless an emergency, hopefully will know more when i have my appointment on Tuesday 🤞 I am in a local fb group for new/expectant mothers who have said the hospital staff have been amazing, doing what they can to get us and baby home safely, helping with bags to the car park to meet babies dad etc. Trying to keep finding positive stories to stop the anxiety kicking in

Has anyone been getting braxton hicks? I'm 31+5 now, but the past 3 evenings I've been getting really bad cramps, I get about 2 or 3 waves of pain and then it settles down again. I've read that they can be more intense with second baby, but I don't remember having them at all with my first 😩

@sao81 yup, I'm 34wks today & ive been having them since 28weeks. I couldn't feel them at first, they were picked up by the midwife when I was hooked up for foetal movement checks but recently they've been getting more and more intense, every time I need to get off the sofa, or have a full bladder etc.

Just wanted to say hi, I've just found this thread, having a wobble tonight worrying about everything & been trying to look for reassurance on a watery discharge (sorry tmi) I know it's probably just a discharge but can't help but worry. Loathe to contact the ante natal ward given what's going on with corona, trying to steer clear of hosp as much as I can!!

@Tashdreams welcome to the thread. it is indeed a difficult time- not even the queen been through this even at war times! watery discharge- i had wet pants/ underwear 3-4 times over the last 10 days. i thought it might be my waters leaking but like you decided against calling my midwife as i am terrified she will say and get checked😞. what i decided is to drink lots of water / check the baby still moves and empty my bladder, change underwear/ pants. and wait if it gets wet again within 2 hours then something is leaking if not then maybe it was sweat/ even wee because of pressure or normal vaginal discharge ... i didn't get it again for few days. if covid wasn't an issue i'd run to the unit and want to be checked!! i still worry that something might be wrong but i can't risk going yet- i'm 33 weeks today😞😆.

@Raindancer411 😞😞😞 i'm also having a c section and my husband's parents are at risk group ( they were meant to have my DD) ... now i'll have to either go alone or put them at risk or beg someone else to have her - we absolutely have no family around ( abroad and not allowed to fly) .. my last c section i was in for 5 days! what are the private care arrangements in the UK? anyone knows?

@sao81 i've been getting sharp muscle tension where my bump is tense and i get pain - feels like muscle contraction but i've never been in labour before ( had c sec last time) . i do remember getting sharp pains last time but i had PGP last pregnancy so always assumed they r ligament stretching pains. not unusual cos your uterus is just practicing x mine don't last long enough for paracetamol - i sit on all 4 to take the weight off my pelvis and see if it eases it or lie on your side let it pass x

@mrsf1204 😞 i’m sorry about your granddad - it's not a guaranteed death just he's old. let's hope your prayers are heard and he pulls through. my brother in law is in hospital stable - his friend who's fit - on a ventilator!
on a positive note my friend felt unusually unwell for 2 days - he's never ill so he paid for a private test- came back positive but he's back to his normal and his 2 kids seem to have had mild illness and his over 60 year old mum who lives in the same house - his wife had no symptoms at all.
my other friend's mum had it abd was in hospital unwell - she's out now and fully recovered. this virus is not discriminating between young or old😞 @november90 like you i wish ppl mention some recovery stories - but we r not doing much testing in england so it's hard to tell u this without a confirmed test " man recovers after fever and cough" isn't a story really! the government screwed us over with years of nhs cuts and demoralising nhs staff- so we have a crap poorly equipped system despite the staff's best efforts- the death toll will rise and rise until all the truely vulnerable and unlucky have died😞

@Tashdreams I had similar discharge a couple of weeks ago and panicked! I rang the mat unit and was told to wear a pad and check it in an hour and ring back if pad was soaked, funny smell or colour so you could try this to check!
@facevalue thank you! I always wonder if it is PGP pain or braxton hicks, as in so much pain now with the pgp its constant, I'm living on painkillers to get me through the next few weeks 😥 I will try lying on my side when i get them and see if it eases off

Morning everyone. Have been trying to stay offline a bit recently as I am just getting stressed out more by stories of partners not allowed in hospitals.
I have my 36 week scan in a few days time, will see if they have any more updates regarding current rules.

Baby feels huge now. Is anyone else fairly short? I am convinced he is just running out of space as my stomach cavity area isn't that big as a small torso. So basically his feet (well I think his feet) are always wedged in my lungs meaning squashed lungs, and harder to breathe.

Bump is also all at the front, so if he moves at all theres like giant alien movements out either side.

Have packed hospital bag also now. Anyone else? but not sure how much to take as was planning to leave spare stuff in car and dh retrieve, but have been told now that once inside hospital dh can't leave and return. Also average stay here is usually 5+ days, but with current situation I have read its a speedier turn around of 1-2.
Have been told all baby clothes during stay, nappies etc and womens hygiene items are supplied by hospital, but this is complete opposite of Uk so Im not sure whether to still pack some incase I am understanding wrong...

Also trying to stay off the internet as much as possible but... I know it’s ridiculous but I just can’t stop crying, the thought of giving birth alone terrifies me. I had a car accident 3 weeks ago and I was stuck on the birthing ward for monitoring and the midwives weren’t nice at all. They left me for 4 hours in pain without being able to eat etc. I’m scared that without my OH I’m going to be left in pain for hours... I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to give birth in hospital without him there.

My tummy feels ginormous too! I really hope he isn't going to be a 10 pounder... or more 😂
I have a 36 week scan in 2 weeks time so maybe I should lay off the chocolate... but it's so hard to not graze when trapped in doors. I'm permanently starving!!! And I'm not exaggerating!

Not sure who said it a month or so back, but someone on here said to me that I would hit rock bottom with my ex before I start to feel better. Well last night was rock bottom. I text him telling him that I'm not putting up with his verbal abuse anymore and asked him to set up a direct debit for nursery fees and maintenance and I would tell him when the baby is here and I only wanted to talk to him about our sons care. He was so vile back to me. He accused me of lying about not claiming for nursery fees (I don't claim them due to complications with UC) and refused to pay! He then accused me of being a liar and said he didn't trust me!! Did I tell you all the other day he told me he isn't going to give me any money for the babies pram and crib etc and if I can't afford it then the baby can live with him as he's got all the stuff?! He's an emotional abuser and it feels SO good to finally say I genially have no feelings towards him. I can't wait to one day, in the future, find someone who will love me and maybe have a family of our own, with my boys of course ❤️
We can't divorce for 2 years so I'm gonna change my name legally in the meantime and perhaps give the boys a double barrel surname or a second middle name!

@CharlieB93 it's really scary I know, but try to change your mindset. Are you likely to be induced? If not, then you'll still be able to do the majority of your labour at home with your partner. In my last pregnancy, I was lucky as we got to hospital and my son was born 90 minutes later - my husband didn't really have much to do at all! Have you been doing any hypnobirthing? The more you know about what's happening, the easier it'll be to know when you (really) need to get to hospital. You could always have a look into checking your own cervix for dilation too

As it stands here, no fathers are allowed to be at the birth. I cried for two days after I found out, but I seem to be more calm about it now. I'm hoping that things will change in a month, but if not then I'll be equipping myself with all the tools I can (clear, detailed birth plan, might try the Freya app from the Positive Birth Company) and labouring as long as possible at home.

@november90 so sorry things aren't improving for you, but hopefully as you say, it's rock bottom now, but onwards and upwards from here. I'm sure you'll find someone in the future who will put you and your boys first!

@AlmostAlwyn I’m not sure, I’m hoping to avoid induction if I can! Weirdly enough I’ve just started watching PBC videos and they are fab! I’ve always thought I knew a lot about my body and how it works but clearly not...
I just can’t imagine doing it without him 😢 it’s also time we will never get back, we’ll probably not have another baby as the road here was a rough one, so it’s a one time experience for both of us ☹️ I was really wanting it to be a positive experience but all I can do is think negatively...

Also re checking cervix - how does that work?! 😂😂😂

@facevalue do you know from where they got a private test?

@CharlieB93 it's great, isn't it! It's not really any consolation, but it's ultimately a really small part of being a parent. If it doesn't go to plan (and depending on how much you "buy in" to this kind of thing), perhaps look into a doula who might do a rebirthing ceremony like in the link below?

www.essentialbaby.com.au/just-for-you/mind-body-fitness/born-again-the-practice-of-rebirthing-20140115-30txo

Regarding checking your own cervix, it's not difficult If you're going to do perineal massage, perhaps get yourself familiar with what it feels like, if you can reach it!

www2.birthbalance.com/how-to-check-your-own-cervix/

Thanks @almostalwyn I’ll definitely look into it! Food for thought!

Did you check your own cervix first time round? I’m actually quite curious about this haha