Due May 2020 (thread 5)

[sao81]

Carrying on from thread 4!

Haha me too @pastnowfuture!

@november90 oh babe. that is heartbreaking to hear. he's trying to hide so he doesn't give in. He probably felt so shit about himself that he snapped and as a coping strategy told himself it's all your fault ( and obviously his family have been on his case already saying u r shit) .. if my husband told his family anything about me that is negative - i don't believe they would stand by me!

i wish it was possible to pause and get a true break ( without childcare talks) - can you cope with completely blocking him and stop his visits? i know it sounds mean but i really think that might be the best way forward- let him go to court and u just gather evidence that he's a loser and that you should have full custody 😑

on the other hand- when i hear anyone bashing and smearing a dad's reputation to a son/ daughter i just think that's unkind... u should go into counselling by yourself... u needed mediation with him- to pick out what u guys can agree outside of court to save u money and time.

if you contact divorce lawyers - they usually give u free 1 hour consultation - u can attend many

@november90 on the divorce subject you can divorce him for unreasonable behaviour. You'll need to list at least 5 (I think) things. I'm sure you can come up with things including walking out on you while pregnant!

Do go and speak to a solicitor. Most will do a free half hour. I found CAB to be a waste of time tbh.

I don't know much about contact with such a young baby so can't advise I'm afraid. However my son sees his dad for 4 nights and I have him 6 nights (so basically 50/50) and it actually works well for him. It's been like that since he was about 2yrs old (he's 8 now).

My girls saw their dad every other weekend until they decided not to see him at all (my eldest was 11 and middle was 13 when they decided by themselves that he wasn't worth it - he's made no effort to even contact them since the summer...) I should clarify that middle girl kept going to her dads until the summer just gone whereas I'm eldest stopped years ago. I never once forced them to stop no matter what my ex says!

Good luck and please do get some proper legal advice. And remember ... this is not your fault, you will be ok and your boys will also be fine. It may seem overwhelming now but trust me all will be ok xxx

Has anyone bought or is planning to buy a nursing chair? I want to get one and would appreciate reviews of brands / models.

Hi everyone, hope all is well! I haven’t checked in on here for ages,
@november90 sorry to read what you are going through still, his behaviour is beyond me!

Anyone else been told their baby is transverse? I’m 29 weeks and was told at last appt and confirmed with a scan (they thought I was measuring small but all fine). I know I shouldn’t worry yet,’just wanted to see if others are the same! X

@helensss yup mine was transverse at my 28 week growth scan. No need to worry at all at the moment. Still so much room for baby to move about :) I actually think mine has moved a bit now as I'm getting kicks in different places. I'm 30 weeks now and have another growth scan in 2 weeks x

@Helensss - at 29 week scan I was told baby was head down. But consultant said it didn't really mean anything yet as they move so much still so they would re-check around 34 week mark as between 29-34week theres still loads of time and space for them to move.

@woollycat - haven't bought as a nursing chair in particular, but we have the "strandmon' Wing chair from Ikea at home and its super comfy. You can get a footstool to match also (i think they now do some with storage but not 100%). We have the fake leather look one that has lasted well the last few years (its wipeable also). Its a reasonable price, and as isn't a 'nursery' chair you could you anywhere in your home over the years. It comes in various colours.

@Helensss, as long as baby is head down by 34 weeks it shouldn’t be an issue. I think my baby is still head down as I often feel little hiccups right down low but I’ll find out on Friday at my 31 week check up.

I’m going to try a pregnancy yoga class tonight which some of the girls at NCT recommended to me!

Thanks everyone for being so kind! There's so many things I want to say to him, the more I think about it the more angry I get... but I'll just have to get over it!

My baby is still breach so I do feel him going into a transversal position regularly. The midwife said swimming can help them shift but at this stage they flip around all the time!

Ah thanks everyone that made me feel better! I’m sure he moves around a lot as well as
I also feel hiccups really low down sometimes x

@Helensss yeah I was told mine is sitting transverse at 28 week appointment but she said she wasnt concerned, as still plenty room and time for baby to move!!

Hello I know I’m late to the party but can I join? I’m due on the 4th with my 2nd DS.

Welcome @porple :)

Just got back from the latest hospital appointment I have ever had in my life! I was referred for a scan on my kidneys and bladder last week as I keep getting UTIs. They've found that I have an enlarged spleen, I didnt even know what a spleen was until now 🙈 they've said it won't have an impact on my pregnancy but needs following up. I'm doubtful, but has anyone else had this issue?

thank you @Raindancer411❤️

@sao81 i have heard of that before. have you googled it? it’s good that it won’t affect the pregnancy though

@porple I try not to get too engrossed in google when it comes to medical stuff otherwise I'd be ringing the dr with terminal cancer 🤣 I've had a little look at what a spleen does (i feel so stupid even saying that) and realised it helps your immune system. I have an immunodeficiency, I get frequent infections, so thinking it may be all linked. They said at the hospital it can sometimes swell up due to pressure from the pregnancy. Think I'll book in with my GP tomorrow for some more answers

@sao81 i’m like that lol 😂. i wouldn’t be able to tell you what a spleen does either. deffo book a gp appointment and go from there

Hi @porple, welcome to the thread! I am also due 4th May with my second DS, how have you been doing?

@Helensss as above, definitely nothing to worry about! Plenty of time for baby to move around. If you're still worried in an couple of weeks, check out spinning babies as there's things you can do to encourage baby to turn head down :) hope the link works!

spinningbabies.com/learn-more/baby-positions/other-fetal-positions/sidewaystransverse/

@woollycat I didn't get it specifically as a nursing chair, but I've got an IKEA Poang arm chair and spent quite a lot of time in it with my baby after he was born! I like that it's got gentle bounce without being an actual rocking/"glider" chair, which seem to carry quite a high price tag! You can also take the cushion covers off for washing

@woollycat We have an ikea poang rocking chair. Not bought specifically as a nursing chair but I think it will be fine as nice and comfy.

@Lu1u i have been doing okay thank you, the pregnancy has been really smooth, but I became a single mum early on in the pregnancy so have been spending most of the time decorating my new house. How has yours been?

@porple welcome to the team.

@sao81 i doubt your Gp will have any answers- they did not request the test. personally i would ask the midwife to check with the obstetrician what that means for your pregnancy

my nct classes started- excited to meet local mums fingers crossed they r nice and normal 😬

@facevalue I spoke to an obstetrician last night who said it shouldnt impact my pregancy, and to follow up with my GP. I've just never heard of it in general I don't actually think it is pregnancy related, its just been found on the off-chance during the scan! I asked my GP today, and found out that they have no medical records for me from birth - June 2019, so think I will be waiting a while for some answers on that one

@woollycat we’ve also gone for the Ikea poang rocking chair, but even the non rocking version is fab and has lots of bounce to it. They’re not expensive like some nursing chairs can be (and I find nursing chairs to look a bit old fashioned anyway)

i finalised a name today, i’ll be putting his crib up tomorrow and then i’m ready for him