Due May 2020 (thread 5)

[sao81]

Carrying on from thread 4!

@sao81 @mrsf1204 oh ladies i absolutely feel your pain. i had a complete melt down at work last week. i was so ashamed embarrassed humiliated. i didn't sleep all night and any simple chat about the topic makes me cry again. the manager who rang me on friday was a complete bitch. i was roasting with anger all weekend - felt miserable and snappy with my hubby and DD then cry because i feel bad for being like that. i pull myself together and go to work still- something in me won't allow me to call off sick- i can't allow the bullying (female dog)🙄 win by breaking me. it is shocking how crap managers are at sorting conflict and how difficult it actually is to prove someone who is known to be a bully to factually be a bully 😒😡. then u get this cycle of thinking u must be mental for thinking this way- maybe i imagined it etc etc

i dread going into work- tensions are high because everyone is so stressed out.

anyone else pathetic enough to wake up at 02:00 and not be able to get back to sleep due to stress from work! no! just me then🙄

somehow i am meant to be back at work first thing

@facevalue I've had broken sleep all night thinking about it 😥 I think you're brave going in, I just don't have it in me to deal with it, I can feel the anxiety building up now just at the thought of ringing in sick

Glucose test this morning! My son was up literally all night long (still got chicken pox).. I can't have slept more then 3 hours so I'm shattered and never needed breakfast more! I'm sooo hungry how will I make it to 11:30 😩😩😩😩😩

@november90 fasting when pregnant and tired is the worst 😩 does your hospital have anywhere available to have a rest whilst you wait for secone bloods?

@sao81 @november90 I totally get that. I woke up this morning at about 3am sweating and panicking about work, feeling embarrassed and humiliated like I've left myself down and that work will all be saying how pathetic I am at not being able to handle it. I didn't realise how hard it would be working in a stressful environment whilst being pregnant though. Let alone having a review over my head throughout the last 2 months with the threat of a warning. It's been horrendous. But if this has taught me anything it's that I just can't do it all and that I need to rest. I need to realise there is no embarrassment in falling apart at times. It's just going to take me some time to get over the embarrassment I think.

They've actually sent me to the local leasure center to have them done so I'm just waiting in the cafe! I'm hoping the sugary drink will get me through! Got such a bad headache today!

@mrsf1204 I'm so sorry to hear about your work stress! Your employer should be supporting you at times like this not giving you more anxiety! I honestly think that employers often have issues with women going on maternity leave, obviously they can't voice it, and ultimately punish you by being awkward! Can you speak to another senior/manager or your union?

@mrsf1204 think it takes alot to admit you need to take a step back sometimes, hope you start to feel better soon😘 I rang in today and already the sickly feeling has gone, see midwife later so hopefully get a note 🤞
@november90 I don't think I could sit in a cafe and not eat cake 🤣🤣 good luck xx

So sorry to hear so many of you are struggling with work. Just remember that you and the baby come first, to your employer you are just another number and another cog in the workplace 'wheel'.

I know i shouldn't complain but i'm just so sick of worrying now, i feel like every week there's a new worry. I can't wait until shes here so i know shes safe. My bump popped out about two weeks ago and now it seems to have shrank again, also i don't feel like i feel her moving as often as i used to.

Is anyone else worrying that much that they aren't actually enjoying this or is it just me?!

@CharlieB93 I have days like that, and it makes me feel so guilty. I feel like its just one thing after another, the SPD is really getting me down, so is work, the constant fatigue! I feel like all I do is moan when I should be grateful im so lucky to be pregnant, its tought isnt it

Also sorry to hear of everyone’s work woes. I experience that in my first pregnancy. I suffered from terrible insomnia, and then trying to do 12 hour night shifts almost killed me. In the end I was signed off as I developed such bad anxiety. I felt terrible guilt, especially as other people that were pregnant seemed to manage just fine. But pregnancy is very individual and at the end of the day, your beautiful baby is all that matters. I’m finding it much better this time round and all because I’m part time.

I have days where I worry, but most of the time I’m so distracted by my 3 year old that I don’t even know if I’ve felt the baby or not - makes me feel terrible! Am so tired too, will be glad when I have no more night shifts to do 😴

@CharlieB93 I think it's totally normal to worry about everything, but don't let it get on top of you! Perhaps speak to someone like your midwife if you feel like it's becoming overwhelming? Sorry to say, but the worry doesn't go away once baby is here - there's just a whole load of other things to worry about! Better to have good support in place now than when you're sleep deprived with a newborn

@almostalwyn oh I know the worry don’t stop, but at least I’ll physically be able to see her ☹️ Thank you. To be honest the midwife care I’ve received has been pretty poor, I don’t even have a midwife or anyone I can speak to at the minute because they keep leaving the GP surgery I’m registered with.

I think the worry doesn't help when others butt in also with 'should you...'

Dh: "should you really be sleeping on your side half on your front still? isn't that squashing him?"

1 Neighbour: " should you really be moving those wheely bins uphill by yourself!"

2 Neighbour: " should you really be driving still?"

My Mother: " should you really be eating that..."

Should I? I have no idea, but frankly life has to go on, and I'm doing what needs to done, and I can't stop doing everything.

Hi all! Just came across this thread and I thought I'd introduce myself and get stuck in! I'm due on 30th May, I have my 25 week midwife appt on Friday, which I'm looking forward to (not sure why 🤣)
I have hyperemesis and I'm still suffering with it, I was in hospital Mon/Tues last week, I must admit they treat you alot better and like you're alot better and like you're more important when you're 20+ weeks!

Just had my midwife app, shes told me to see GP tomorrow and get signed off until my next appointment. She had no matb1 form available for me so said she will try get one left at reception or my next appointment. Told my manager whats going on and shes now saying if she doesn't have it by end of the week it will affect my pay? I gave her notification of my pregnancy 2 months ago so why is she only just saying this now?! Or is she just trying to cause me more stress. Midwife also said I have protien in my urine and blood pressure is high so now I'm really worrying something may be wrong, shes said not to worry but I cant help it 😥

@CharlieB93 that sucks have you got good support at home or from your family?

@Caspianberg you're definitely right about all the unsolicited advice! My MIL was awful for it in my last pregnancy. I basically shouldn't be doing anything according to her! She's been better this time round thankfully.

@sao81 oh bless you! You don't need this! So you can go to a midwife drop in thing and get a matb1 form from there. I think to process you maternity pay he need it so many days before your due date... but this seems very early! Mine have requested it 12 days before my maternity leave begins!!
I suffered with protein in my urine and high blood pressure in my first pregnancy and it was 100% brought on by stress. The more stressed I got the worse it got! Did they say how much protein was in your urine? Protein comes from the kidneys I think so keep hydrated and get signed off from work! You do not need any of this!!

@AlmostAlwyn yeah luckily I’ve got a very understanding OH, and a good family which are very supportive. Tbh I mainly worry ‘on the inside’ I never tell anyone how I’m feeling as I feel like I’m always moaning.

@Caspianberg yep I know where you’re coming from with that. What’s really getting my goat lately is people saying it’s ‘too early’ to buy a cot/pushchair etc. That to me is them saying I may not end up with a baby after all this?!

@sao81 my mat leave doesnt officially start until 20th April so I thought it seemed early too, I think she's just trying to stress me out. Protein was 1+ and then says LEU 3+, shes sent it to the lab for further testing. I see her again in 4 weeks as shes on leave so going to stay off until then, she was just so sarcy on the phone its upsetting me

@CharlieB93 my dad says things like this about buying things all the time! My OH got me a birthday card off the baby last week and he said never tempt fate, whereas I think its a really sweet thing to do! Makes you wonder doesnt it

@CharlieB93 well, hopefully you can treat this group as a bit of an outlet! I don't think anyone here will think you're always moaning! And get the cot and the pushchair whenever you want! Annoy the naysayers by putting a bag of flour in it to "test it out"

@sao81 why would it affect your mat pay?! And you've given notice by the 15th week so I don't get it?

@november20 not sadly not. My boses are a husband and wife team. We have no union we are a tiny company. I feel like such a failure but you're right it's too much managing someone like this whilst pregnant. But I can't help but think I should have been able to hold it together?! I should have been stronger?

@mrsf1204 I gave her my notification form in December and I asked her on Friday why I still had not heard anything from HR, I don't think she had submitted it. So now I think she's trying to find excuses to blame me for it not being put in, and stress me out, as shes saying she can't send off to HR until she has the matb1. My partner works in the same department hes going to get the guidance today and email it to her and see what she says. I see GP today too to get signed off so hopefully after today I don't have to speak to her for a while