Due May 2020 (thread 5)

[sao81]

Carrying on from thread 4!

@facevalue It's not you, it's them! People are stupid! Hope you managed to get some sleep

@facevalue I feel you. This is literally my life every day at the moment. I'm under so much pressure and stress at work I'm literally coming home crying every night. I'm having anxiety about work even when I'm not in work. My boss is also sending me emails like that at all times of the day and night and I just feel like a constant failure. They are still performance managing me even though I've made it clear I'm really really struggling. My head is just so foggy I feel useless. The stress of it all is really getting to me. :( hugs to you and thinking of you.

Totally with you on the work worries. My firm have merged with a bigger firm. We’ve been transferred under TUPE so can’t be worse off basic salary wise but we are losing the bonus scheme that made up a large chunk of my salary. So I’m basically taking a huge pay cut. Plus the bigger firm offer all their staff better benefits like enhanced maternity and private healthcare but as we’ve been transferred on same t&cs we currently don’t benefit from this!! And the scope of my work has become more limited. I worked at that firm for nearly 7 years and just feel like I’ve been royally screwed over. Just feel gutted about it! Thank god I only have two months left. It’s such a struggle to make myself go in and do a good job every day and coupled with the hormones I just feel close to tears a lot of the time

Morning all😊

Happy Friday!

I am wondering if anyone can help- this might seem like such a silly question but funny enough I can't seem to find an answer. Do you need breast pads even if your not breastfeeding? Xx

24+1 today - feels like a milestone! 🤩
A friend gave us a bunch of newborn and 0-3m clothes yesterday, so cute! It's starting to get real!

Have you guys been buying much? We haven't bought anything yet - I think we will start buying in Feb.

25w appointment coming next week - will they listen to heartbeat?

Also some of you are entering 3rd trimester next week - big congrats!! Hope you are still feeling ok! I hope this 2nd trimester lightness and ease will last as long as possible 😀

Morning! Having a lovely last couple of days as although I had been feeling movement it was very faint but the last 2 days he’s been kicking so hard and I can see my belly moving. I just love it. Happened for the first time on my birthday on Wednesday so that was a lovely present!
We haven’t bought that much really, hoping to re use most of my 3 year olds stuff as we kept most of it. Have bought a few little outfits though as it’s nice to have some new bits too.

Sorry to hear people’s struggles at work. I’m a nurse and the bigger I’m getting the harder the 12 hour shifts are! I’ve got 20 left now till maternity leave and I’m counting them down. Can’t wait to wake up and not have to worry about going in, what the shift is going to be like and being able to eat/drink and wee on my terms! X

@May2311 hey. Yes. Grab some breast pads even if you don't breast feed. Your milk will still come in after a couple of days and leaks can happen.
If you choose not to breast feed try not to stimulate your breasts at all as this can cause milk to leak and your breast to produce more (it's a supply and demand thing)
I remember when I stopped quite early on for various reason even just having a shower would cause me to leak everywhere 😂

You won't need loads of pads but do have some just in case x (I guess some women don't leak at all if they don't breast feed - I was not one of these women 😂)

@moonstone12 - thanks😊😊 will buy a couple of packs just in case! So it's a no going anywhere near the breasts situation😂

We have bought the main bits- got the nursery furniture arriving today and travel system. Haven't bought loads of clothes just a few bits at the moment. My sister and mum have been buying bits I know so I am going to have a good sort probably March time and figure out if I need anything else. Xxx

@May2311 I'm 27+1 with my first and I've already had a leak so I'd defo buy some!

Happy Friday ladies!
People who have already had babies in the past, can I ask some (daft) questions please?

1. I’m not wanting to BF but I want to give her the colostrum as a good start. How long will I have to feed her via breast for?
2. Depending on the answer to the above, how do you go about making bottles in hospital? Is there warming facilities etc? I’m really worried about this as every HCP I’ve encountered try and ram BF down my throat! I’m worried they’ll make me feel bad...
3. When did you start packing your hospital bag? And has anyone got a list of things needed to pack? (I thought midwife may have this but apparently not)

Thank you 😀

@May2311 you'll deffo need breast pads, I remember waking up with 2 big wet patches on my nighty my partner thought it was hilarious 😂 just keep them strapped up and don't touch them and it'll dry out in a few days.
@CharlieB93 I tried with colostrum but nothing happened, but I remember my proper milk came in about 4 days pp so maybe its only a couple of days. Our hospital does not allow formula, the best thing I'd say is buy ready prepped bottles. You can get a pack of 6 bottles and most big supermarkets sell them. That way you dont need to take all kinds of bottles, brushes, sterlising stuff, as its all ready done. I packed my hospital bag at around 34 weeks, you can find really good lists online but I'd always say the following for you:

• flannels, breast pads, maternity sanitary towels, really big knickers, lucozade sport drinks, old comfy pyjamas, slippers/bedsocks, toiletries

And for baby:

• 4 sleepsuits 4 vests, bibs/muslin clothes, cotton wool, nappies, nappy bags, barrier cream, a hat, mittens, cardigan, blanket, ready made bottles.

Id also have a back up bag at home for your partner to grab quickly with same baby stuff incase you have to stay in for longer!

@sao81 thank you so much for your help!

@May2311 if u r not breastfeeding your boobs will dry out in 2 weeks some even sooner. so maybe just get a small box for that. unless u change your mind and try BF- it is a joy 😍👍🏼

@CharlieB93 you'll produce colostrum for the first 3-5 days or so, until your milk comes in, so I guess plan for about a week? Check with your local hospital for their policy on formula preparation, but ready prepared will be easiest!

I would also pack a towel or two for yourself, and some chocolate/sweets for a quick energy boost!

I'd also recommend coconut oil or even olive oil for baby's bottom in the first few days. Meconium is sticky!

@almostalwyn Thank you! Good tips
I didn't realise that. I naively assumed it would be produced straight away! Hmm i'm really not sure what to do with regards to BF and bottlefeeding. I'm moving towards just exclusively bottlefeeding now. I was hoping to give her colostrum but i wouldn't want to get her used to bottlefeeding to then have to change to BF or vise versa.

@CharlieB93 sorry, misunderstanding! You'll start producing colostrum from around mid pregnancy, so it's ready for baby right away! I just meant it might take 3-5 days for your milk to come in

Be prepared with formula in your hospital bag, then see how you go with breastfeeding in the first few days. The midwives should be able to advise you, but definitely have a look at sites like kellymom for tips on getting started! The more you know, the better

@AlmostAlwyn Ohhh sorry! ah fab thank you, I think thats the way i'm wanting to move forward re feeding :)

thanks i'll have a look!

@charlieB93 I put so much pressure on myself to breastfeed with my first, but my iron levels meant I didnt produce anything, I only found out this was the cause at my booking appointment for my second! I'd just go with what you want, dont put pressure on yourself just do what feels right for you and the baby, as long as they're getting fed thats all that matters whether it be breast or bottle

@sao81 I know, I’m trying hard not to be swayed, I’ve got a couple of reasons why I don’t want to BF but it never seems to stop people judging you for not doing it! I wasn’t breast fed and neither was my partner - we turned out fine (ish 😝)

@charlieB93 @sao81 oh dear i hope girls don't feel pressurised.

@facevalue being pregnant at 21 and having midwives in hospital telling you you're making things harder for yourself by giving them a bottle definitely made me feel pressured! But now I'm just going to go with what I feel is best for us. I admire people who can breastfeed, but some people can try to force it on you which isnt good for anyone involved

@CharlieB93 I've found this time round that health professionals are nowhere near as forced with the breastfeeding business, I believe they have to tell you the benefits, but should also be telling people how to safely formula feed if thats their choice which is good!

@sao81 i really enjoyed BF and definitely it's easier on you cos u don't need to clean carry or spend- cheapest option - that's my only drive when i encourage mums to do it . it's not judging them x

obviously with all the added health benefits - that's a given

@facevalue i definitely agree with all of that, I think everyone should be given information on both to make a decision, and people will naturally be more for their given choice! I'd love to try it again, as there are loads of benefits, but unfortunately you do get people who judge you negatively for not breastfeeding. Thats why I love our little thread, because noone judges, just advises on their own experiences x