Due May 2020 (thread 5)

[sao81]

Carrying on from thread 4!

I put loads and loads of pressure on myself to bf last time, and because I’m a paeds nurse people had expectations that I would find it easy 🤷🏼‍♀️ It was the hardest thing I have ever done, we had a traumatic birth and I needed transfusion afterwards so that all didn’t help. Got next to no support in hospital and so my milk never came in properly. I managed to combi feed for 8 weeks but then my son made his own decision and refused to feed from me. But I still carry massive guilt that I couldn’t do it - which is ridiculous as he is perfectly healthy. So although this time I want to give it a good go, I know that I need to look after my mental health more. Happy baby, happy mummy x

As a personal choice I really hope to breastfeed, however I'm not putting any pressure on myself... I want to do it for various personal reasons but I believe that the 2 most important things are a well fed, happy baby and a mum who is not stressed or anxious!! Dont let anyone judge or pressure you into anything. Being a new mum is hard enough and it's a personal journey!!

I think people always feel judged whatever they do. So read up on all the options, make your own decision and to hell with what anyone else thinks!

It's easier said than done, but have confidence you've made the right choice for you and your baby - even if it's not the same choice as your mum/MIL/cousin/Susan from antenatal class made

@AlmostAlwyn funnily enough i got harassed and judged by my MIL for breastfeeding! she was regularly telling me - no need and it's not necessary etc then giving me funny looks when i was feeding my DD ( i always had a muslin or something) never exposed any boobs in her face! i was treated like i was backward and uncivil ... nasty people will make u feel crap even when u r doing something that is meant to be "good" and it's bloody hard work ( not an easy option by any means). 🤪🤪🤪

my experience was that we ( the mums) are the major cause of our own stress! i wanted to breastfeed and enjoyed it so i was killing my self and crying when my supply was low even when everyone was saying u don't have to do it and it's fine. my MIL never BF but she still felt the need to judge me for doing it and saying i enjoyed it ( i suspect it triggered some guilt feelings or something so she kept harassing me to stop😑).

in summary - keep baby a live - don't give up on BF if u actually wish to do it / there is lots of help and support out there. If you don't want to or can't do for health reasons or mental health reasons or whatever then fine- stop and get on with formula without justifying yourself-

i had to stop BF at 7 months because my kid was dairy and soya allergic and i literally was loosing my mind coz i had to become dairy and soya free - i cried for a month about stopping. 😓😓😓 i still feel guilty that i stopped and that i wasn't determined enough to persevere longer ( that's no one else judging me - I JUDGE MYSELF).

@AlmostAlwyn @facevalue I think we can all be guilty of being our own worst critics can't we! Especially when all over the place with hormones etc. It's crazy how much pressure we can put on ourselves for all sorts of things, I think that's part of what made me so unwell last time. But I just keep telling myself I've got through 2 years of bringing up a smart, very independent little girl so I can do it again! And hopefully that will see me through this time without all this crazy pressure and self judging etc

Morning ladies! I would like to try to breastfeed but I just don’t know what’s going to happen so trying not to overthink. Ideally I’d like to be able to express a bottle a day so that my husband can also feed her. I haven’t bought a breast pump yet though as wondered whether I should wait to see how I get on.

I’m 27 weeks today, last week of second trimester with my due date exactly 3 months tomorrow! Eek!

@Sunshine8888 how exciting - one more week to go till the third trimester!

Had a midwife appointment yesterday - all was well except I've put on nearly 10kg?! Lol...please someone tell me I'm not alone/this is normal 🙃

@123Pandy I haven’t been weighed throughout my pregnancy so I have absolutely no idea what I weighed before or now!

@123Pandy- My midwife said from beginning of pregnancy till full term you should put on about 2stone(obviously includes the baby,water placenta etc). I was a little worried as so far I've only put on 3lb! Midwife isn't worried though so unless your midwife is worried I think it is fine as people will put it on at different stages! Xxxx

Thanks for that @May2311 - good to know.
This is my first pregnancy so not really sure what to expect!

@123Pandy I put on about 10kg in my first pregnancy, which according to lots of people was really little! I've put on about 7 or 8kg so far (though not exactly sure about my starting weight), so I think you're fine!

Remember, at the moment baby can weigh around 900g (ish), 700g of placenta, 800ml of amniotic fluid, 1250ml of extra blood - which all adds up! So actual weight gain for you is much less!

@Sunshine8888 check out kellymom for information on breastfeeding, pumping and more

Horrible topic but has anyone started to get piles? I've never had them before and think I might be... is there anything I can do?

@Purple29 suffered with them quite badly after my first birth so I feel your pain :( just eating plenty of fruit and veg and keeping things soft. Giving yourself plenty of time to go to strain less and if they are itchy, anusol cream. You can also push them back inside, in the shower if you feel comfortable and it stops them from being painful almost instantly! They don't last forever x

@123Pandy from what I’ve read, it’s absolutely normal, don’t worry! Although I must admit I’m finding the weight gain harder to cope with than I thought I would. I’ve put 6.5kg on and when I see that number on the scales, I do find it a big alarming - I suppose because I’ve never been this heavy and I’m thinking of it as ‘putting weight on’ instead of ‘growing a baby’! I’ve still got 12 weeks to go and not being very active for so long has been tough for me. I hadn’t expected to feel this way if I’m honest.

@123Pandy I've probably put on something similar to you and in my first pregnancy I had definitely gained a lot more by this point so try not to worry :) it will all fall off when the baby is here!

i dont think i've put on any weight - i am heavy before anyway - so now all i hear " have you lost weight?" 🙄 so maybe my weight loss is baby gain so i stayed the same weight.

Snuzpod update - I had a go at carrying it downstairs... I won’t be doing that again! Especially not with a baby in it!! It’s so heavy and really cumbersome to carry, our stairs are a normal width and there’s no way to carry this safely, I had to tilt it so much that a baby would surely just fall out.

It’s fine for us as I had only really intended it to stay by our bed but thought I’d see if I’d get any use out of it being ‘portable’. We’ve been given a Moses basket so I’ll use that downstairs instead.

Definitely worth bearing in mind if you’re looking for a crib that you can move around the house.

@sazzlerazzl oh no 😑

i have this one and it's super light and it actually collapses into a carrier bag as a travel cot for sure

www.kiddies-kingdom.com/cribs/38743-tutti-bambini-cozee-bedside-crib-oak-charcoal.html?gclid=CjwKCAiAg9rxBRADEiwAxKDTuvyhQEpSmH-ZrOQHejQlw2oFNIYEzqSZ2kJf4DbyE8hIE2JWBWWxbxoCDZAQAvD_BwE

@facevalue oh that looks lovely too!

@sazzlerazzle I wasn’t planning to move the snuzpod, especially with baby in. I would be terrified of falling down the stairs. I have separate things for downstairs (carrycot and a sleepyhead)

@Sunshine8888 it’s a bit awkward to carry isn’t it! I don’t think they’ve thought that bit through properly. It’s a gorgeous crib though, I’m really happy with it and love that it matches our bedroom decor.

Any other over organised people here? 😳 I decided I would like to buy as much as possible before my takes a reduction so at 25ish weeks I literally have everything I need including nappies/wipes/hospital toiletries aside from 2 or 3 bigger items which I need OH help with!

Makes me feel much more chilled having everything in my home and ready even if it is strange! Just wondered if there are any others like me!

@helpasisterout I’m the same, trying to buy the majority of things before I lose my salary. I can’t wait to start sorting the nursery out once I’ve finished work. Two months and counting

@sunshine888 I'm glad I'm not the only one! The nursery needs a lot of work but have booked trades people etc and I'm so excited to have furniture etc ready to be arranged!

@helpasisterout I'm in your boat.
We've finished the nursery, I've also got nappies, wipes and breast pads. Which is a good job as I had another leak again this morning!
Babies wardrobe is full, so it the laundry basket- gifted clothes and blankets are ready for the wash.
We've got the pram, baby monitor, car seat, crib, play gym and bouncer... I said I wasn't going to buy things until I needed them lol. However, my pregnancy has been hard and I will only get more immobile so for me I'm glad it's all done and dusted now. I love going and sitting in the nursery, we've got a day bed in there too so it's a nice place to nap. Glad I'm not the only one!!

I've not got a hospital bag sorted yet but I've made a list for it!