July 2020 - thread 2

[RedRobin7]

New thread for our July gang 😊

Shall we do a little reminder of who we all are so we can see who is on here - Age, current EDD and if we know our 12 week scan date?

I'll start:

31 - EDD 08/07 - 12 week scan 24/12

Hi @Bibinka
I think it's def my bloods that has brought the risk up. NT was 1.2mm, bHCG was 3.88 MoM (very high) and Papp-A was 0.59 MoM (on the low side).
I have a midwife appt on 5th Feb. I'll ask her what she thinks. But I think I may do the same as you and wait for the anomaly scan as don't want to risk invasive screening and £500 is a lot for us for the NIPT.

@kraykray I’d be reassured with those results as mine was 1:50. We aren’t having any invasive tests and not planning on having the NIPT as £400-500 is such a lot of money when we need to save for other things/budget for maternity leave etc.

I’m struggling with anxiety. It’s such a long time between appointments. I’m hoping once I feel baby move regularly then I’ll calm down a bit. .I’m counting down the days until I see the midwife and she listens to the heat beat.

@kraykray I wouldn't worry too much either with those results.

@Ethellsmum I agree... There's far too much time between appointments.

I found out today that I'll be having a boy and got a better picture. Loved every minute of the experience.

Thank you ladies. Trying to stay positive.
I agree regarding the time between appts. I've moved my midwife appt from 16+5 to 15+6. Just hoping she listens to HB. Otherwise I'll go potty waiting until 20w!

Hi,
I’m new here, currently 14+6 EDD 20th July.
I just wanted to offer some reassurance - at my 12 week scan (I was actually 12+6) the sonographer measured baby’s NT at 5.4mm. I’m 27 and no health issues so was very low risk prior to this. I was told I am now very high risk and to prepare for the worst (they didn’t even give me my flu jab as ‘there’s no point’!) and was referred to a Fetal Medicine Unit. I was absolutely terrified and heartbroken. My combined result of measurement + bloods came back as a 1 in 4 chance of Downs and 1 in 700 for both Edwards and Patau’s. With such a high chance we decided to go for the CVS, which was absolutely fine and we needed our minds put to rest either way. Our results came back that it’s all clear, baby doesn’t have Downs! Or any of the others. We’re now waiting until 20 weeks to have an in-depth echocardiogram and double appointment at the Fetal Medicine Unit as they think baby may have some sort of heart defect. Time will tell and we’re just taking each day/week at a time. But I just wanted to reassure others that although we had such a high chance of Downs and we were told the baby may not even survive, we now have the all clear!
I’ve been following everyone’s posts from the start and it’s been so reassuring for me so I just wanted to offer it back! :-)
Congratulations to all xxx

@BulldogMama thank you for sharing your experience. It just shows that despite a figure indicating a certain risk it really does not mean that the worst will materialise.

I'm keeping everything crossed for your 20 week scan. Taking it one day at a time is advice we should all take note of. It really is a miracle we're all pregnant to begin with.

@BulldogMama
Really glad you were given the all clear! Wishing you all best for your 20w scan xx

Thank you so so much! Yes definitely, it’s so hard to not assume the worst. The worry me and my partner felt was so awful but we’re now feeling very grateful for every week that goes by and we’re slowly learning to cope with the anxiety of it all. Yes, they’re all beautiful little miracles. I also struggle with the time between appointments, 20 weeks feels like a lifetime away! I’ll keep you updated xxx

Hi all, hope everyone is doing well. Just to reiterate I’m a husband on here (weird, I know) as the wife doesn’t do Internet forums etc.

Anyway, we had our second midwife appointment today and got to hear the heartbeat which was pretty amazing. We are 17 weeks today and due on 6th July. We have a private scan booked for this coming Saturday which we are hoping will advise the gender - that is if my wife decides to find out, as she’s still in two minds whether to find out or not. The start of the second trimester has certainly eased up things for her so far, although her hormones are making her anxious at times. It’s been difficult the gap between the 12 week scan and now as the lack of professional opinion leaves you wondering just how things are going, but all in all we are delighted with progress so far. Hope everyone is doing well, all the best from the both of us.

Can I join the Facebook group??
Third pregnancy for me and I'm due late July x

What's the fb group?? Xx

Fb group is

m.facebook.com/groups/2622082391193805?tsid=0.32574137800488845&source=result

Please answer the question so we know how you found us!

@AutumnDazed Great to hear from you, have been wondering how you're both doing. Glad things are going well.

Second trimester is definitely a lot easier. Apart from the growing bump I don't feel pregnant! We are going to find out the baby's sex at our 20 week scan. We need the time to argue names lol. My sister is 3 weeks ahead and is having a little girl. Would love a girl too but I'll be equally as happy with a boy!

Feel free to join our fb group too!

Thanks @RedRobin7 I didn’t want to make people uncomfortable by being male and joining the Facebook group, at least on here there’s an anonymity that covers over the fact it’s weird a man is asking all these questions haha. I may do in the future as you guys have been a huge support so far!

Hello everyone, I’ve been quiet for a while waiting for my scan. Had it today, re-dated me a week further on than I thought and am now 13+5. (Strictly speaking a 1 Aug due date but I will be induced early so I’d like to stay here...). All was fine - as I’m the grand old age of 44 my background risk for Down’s is 1:26 but the adjusted risk after nuchal measurement and bloods is 1:141. I am taking up the offer of the Harmony as they offered it for free as my hospital is King’s and they also wanted it for research (I know I am very fortunate to not have to pay for it) which will give more accuracy but I’ll take these odds. It’s better than what I was given in my first baby 7 years ago.

The lady who had bloods taken at the same time as me was on her second pregnancy and had a miscarriage previously, and at the start of my scan her sonographer came into my room and told my guy that there was a missed miscarriage. If the lady happens to be in this group I just wanted to say that I’m so very sorry for your loss.

Told my sons and my family today - the boys are incredibly excited. My husband is overseas for work so we are setting up a 3-way FaceTime at the weekend to tell his parents who also live overseas - they’ve got a trip here planned this year already and it now transpires they’ll be here for the birth...

It’s not really sunk in for me that it really does look like it’s happening - I really do seem to be having a baby at my age.

Many congrats @Secondsop! I know the 1:141 ratio may sound scary, but the odds are overwhelmingly favourable for you still, and you seem incredibly positive which is great. How were your family with the news?! Must have been exciting to tell them :)

That poor lady finding out about her MMC. That’s the key thing I’ve learnt from this group, and my wife’s pregnancy, is the sheer devastation a MC can cause. I mean, I always knew it was a sad thing, but the fragility of those first twelve weeks is beyond sad, it’s unimaginable really. One of the reasons my wife can’t be on forums like this, and why I’m here instead, is because we’ve seen people come and go in this thread and each one of those leaving would have hit her hard and made her worry even more about us losing our baby (I know that sounds selfish, and I don’t mean it to, but she would immediately go into an empathetic state and reflect on where she is at that point in time). So I can shield her somewhat from that but whilst also learning from you all to share what she needs to know and when. It’s a dynamic that works for us.

@Secondsop Those odds are still really good, especially when you look at them as a percentage!

@AutumnDazed You are really lovely trying to protect your wife. I've been that person who leaves the thread twice because of a MMC/MC and I honestly never thought I'd get to 18 weeks like I have. My husband knows it's hard but I just don't think he gets how hard. It's still scary now and I don't think I'll believe my baby will be okay until I'm holding him/her and then I'll be worrying about them in the outside world!

@Secondsop congrats on your scan 😊 I was the same as @RedRobin7 I instantly converted my results into a percentage and felt a lot happier. Positive thoughts to you 💕
So gutted for the lady you were with 💔

Having been thru a mc myself I am cautious on MN as I don't want to trigger myself. Last year I was in an awfully dark place and I honestly never thought I'd be able to get out from it. I resorted to counselling which I'm 50/50 about but I did what I needed to at the time. But now this little bub is giving me a bit of sunshine. My belly seemed to have popped out yesterday. DH said it's the first time I've looked more than just bloated from a big meal 🤣

My midwife said you'll worry no matter what stage you're at, whether it's about mc or whether it's about being a good parent etc. The other night I was watching something where parents were making their kids costumes and I went into panic mode about what I'd make for world book day 🤣 crazy how your thoughts can overtake at times!

@AutumnDazed you sound awesome and so supportive 👍🏻

Sorry for the essay!

Hi all, we had a gender scan this morning and we are having a boy! We had both been saying we wanted a girl but as soon as we were told my wife burst into tears with happiness - turns out she unknowingly had really wanted a boy! She’s now just non-stop smiling and thinking about having a son.

I have to be honest I feel the slightest hint of disappointment that it’s not a girl. I know it’s wrong to but the idea of being a girl dad was something I was really looking forward to. Of course, first and foremost a healthy baby is the top of our wish list and we are grateful we even get to this point and I don’t want to appear selfish or ungrateful. Just a different feeling than I was expecting I think!

Hello all... how are you all keeping?
I am 18 weeks today ... had a scan at 16 weeks and 4 days and all was well ❤️ I have my next scan (the 20 week NHS scan) booked for just over two weeks time.
I was just wondering if you guys thought it's still to early to buy things? My OH is working a lot during the pregnancy so that all their leave can be used once baby is here. So, is wanting to go Nursery furniture shopping this weekend. I am excited by the idea but also nervous. What's everyone's thoughts?

@AutumnDazed congrats! I'm glad all was well. I can understand the slight disappointment but I'm sure over the next few days you'll fall in love with the idea 😊

@AutumnDazed It's totally normally to feel disappointment. You will get used to the idea and once he's born you won't be able to imagine life without him!

My husband always said he wanted a boy first and would be disappointed with a girl. Most of this pregnancy I've been convinced it's a girl and have been worried about his reaction. Now he's decided he wants a girl and I'm now convinced it's a boy. I know he will love them no matter what though!

@HelenJudi I'm 18+2 and still too anxious to buy anything. I'm waiting for my 20 week scan on the 14th as I'm scared something will be wrong. My husband is annoyed we aren't buying stuff yet as he wants to spread out the cost. Only two more weeks to go! Plenty of people on the fb groups I'm on have already started buying stuff, so maybe it's just me! 🙈

We haven't brought anything yet either, we are waiting till the 20 week scan, me & my OH have the day off, and it's an early scan time, so we're going to head into town after and buy the first little bits when we know what colour :)

@AutumnDazed we had originally said we would wait until after our 20 week scan but then we ended up having a full Health and Well being scan at 16 weeks and 4 days (we paid privately) we still plan to have our NHS 20 weeks scan but everything that will be done then we had checked at 16 weeks so my OH is very much of the idea now that we don't need to wait another 2 weeks. I do agree but I still can't help but worry...

@showmewhatyougot That sounds like a lovely day planned. We have decided not to find out the gender (we both want a surprise) so everything we buy will be gender neutral anyways. I understand why my OH wants to go this weekend as their time off is so limited and it's our last time off together in months. My OH is also not superstitious at all and always says 'what will he will be' 'buying something won't change our future' ...