The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread#5 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

[InDreamland]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread (please feel free to add your name or amend if due dates have changed following 12 week scans or booking in c-secs):

@Melpops36, 38, EDD 5/12/19
@Beaglemum93, 26, EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 31, EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Squiff70, 37, EDD end of February (no exact date with twins)
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 16/04/20
@TinyPaws, 22, EDD 19/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020

Also tagging @boboelephant and @Yukka just to hope they can pop on and update on their rainbows.

Sorry to anyone I've missed 🐧

@Rubyroost yeah, I was told at booking in appointment that I'm in group with risk factor for GTT because of my race so was given the form then but told I wouldn't need it until between 25 and 28 week antenatal appointments. Of course though I've been worried about having GD for the past few weeks. So I've not had any call today or voicemail from GP so presume all good and no protein or sugar in my sample. So I'll call tomorrow to book in my GTT for a week before 28 week antenatal midwife appointment.

@Notnowokay why would you need GTT if you are already type 1?

@Squiff70 thank you. I am relieved. Glad the twins are doing well and you're getting plenty of movements now. No news is good news!

@Notnowokay was referring to @InDreamland who is high risk because she is Asian. But I am a bit worried as babys head and abdomen were both over 99th percentile. 😳I worried about gest diabetes all through my previous pregnancy tho and never had it. Nurse practioner planted seed when she found sugar in urine at 6 weeks. Said you know what that means don't you? I said no.. And she said diabetes. So from then on I was convinced I had it esp when urine came back with sugar a second time.

Morning ladies, sorry I haven't read all posts yet but I'm having a bit of a stress Are you ready for the completely irrational reasons for my panic in no particular order?

1. No movements felt yet at 17+4 despite sitting quietly every evening on the lookout for something. I know it's early but...
2. A poor lady in my Facebook group has just had a loss at the same point as me
3. I'm waiting for a consultant appointment and haven't heard anything. Yesterday had a recorded voicemail from the hospital about my appointment next week. Going to have to spend this morning ringing random numbers until I can find out when and where this appointment is. Also next week is really busy at work and it's too late to rearrange things.
4. I'm worried because I feel so in love with this baby. I feel like I've let myself get too attached.
5. I'm really really tired after two parents evenings this week and many nights of disturbed sleep with a few stress dreams thrown in.

I'm aware that none of these things are that bad (with the exception of number 2) but I'm just feeling frazzled Please help me pull myself together xx

Hey @janey15 I saw that post too and I’m getting a little worried. Do you have an anterior placenta? I do and although I know that’s probably why I haven’t felt anything I’m still worried. Having said that I get sone pulsing sensations but could easily just be blood flow. I’m starting to regret not doing a private scan to find the sex. It’s three weeks since my last scan. I’m 17 plus 5.

Anyway with regards to all the other stuff it must be so hard being a teacher and being pregnant. After doing it for so long I know how busy this time of year is. Just take it as easy as you can and if it’s getting overwhelming speak to your management team. Thank goodness it’s Friday! Xx

@janey15 I didn't feel definite movements until 19+6. It's considered normal up to 24 weeks. I know it's worrying particularly after hearing about a late loss :( I'm not the best person to advise on not worrying. I found it helpful to have many scans to reassure me.

@janey15 I’m 22+1 and still barely feeling anything. I have an anterior placenta and it’s my first baby. It’s really really frustrating and worrisome, but unfortunately the placenta just blocks all the movement until baby is much larger. If you have anterior it’s normal for some ladies not to feel anything at all until 24/25 weeks even. Don’t listen to other people who say 17/18 weeks, that’s more the exception than the norm!

@InDreamland I think I remember you saying that even at 23 weeks you were worried about not feeling much? And now it seems you are having movement all the time?

@InDreamland it is a tick box that flagged up I'm at risk of diabetes and so I was automatically offered it. Common sense says no but I understand people doing things to protect themselves.

@Rubyroost I saw a consultant once who asked how much did I weight when I was born? Because sometimes, the size of the baby is determined by genetics. If your ancestors gave birth to large babies then you are more likely to give birth to a larger baby. Our worry comes when the growth is disproportionate. Since then I have been less worried about a big baby and more concerned with my sugar. My sons have been tall and I was born at 4kg! Dm says she always had tall babies and ds1 is still the tallest in his class. Asking the midwife won't hopefully hurt, you can ask for gtt to be done. Sorry if it seems like I'm pressuring you to ask for one.

@janey15 my ds3 was a lazy baby and didn't really like to move around a lot. He did most of his movement at the middle of the night and 1hr after meals. Even after birth he still wasn't much of a mover. He still prefers indoors and reading books to running around in the park. Sometimes it is a personality type of thing. Ds1 I felt late but he was a very active boy. I started to feel properly around 20weeks (due to anterior placenta) and he still is an active boy.

Well I was 7lb 10 and the boyf was 9lb 10. My head is in the 99th percentile, his is in the 90th and current child who is 22 months is in 99th percentile for hc so maybe you have a point @Notnowokay, although I think when he was born his head was actually in the 70th percentile.

The AC had also reduced from 90th to 60th in between the private and NHS scan so either one of the scanners was wrong or he'd had a wee!

Thanks for your support everyone. I've had a busy day which has taken my mind off things a bit. I suppose it's positive that I've got quite a bump now although I'm almost worried at how quickly it's appeared! I'm wondering about booking a scan for next Saturday as it's now nearly 5 weeks since the last one. Not sure though as I get so much anxiety before a scan too
I've just watched a birth story on YouTube and cried all the way through - not sure if it was a good idea or not but it didn't upset me.
Off to catch up on all the other posts I've missed xxx

@SunshineCrocodile I'm so so sorry. That's is just so horrible for you. I hope you have lots of support around you and may be able to get some answers now if that is what you want xxx

@Lozzak87 lol at the almost peeing! Yesterday a needed to go every few minutes in the morning and today I've been fine

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue how rude? But maybe she was unwell? I sort of think you would have to be to say something like that!

@InDreamland my booking appointment was at a local children's centre with really dark toilets - i did manage but reckon I could probably do it with my eyes shut by now!

Well I haven't managed to track down my consultant letter yet but spoke to the community midwife who is going to try to find out. She said not to worry as they'll only rebook it if I miss it but I'd still rather go! Did get my physio appointment in the post today though so at least that might help some of my aches and pains!

@janey15 it's hard not to worry but I hope you feel less anxious soon. Feeling movements varies a lot and you are still quite early.

@Indreamland I had my bump measured today and me and the midwife were laughing about how all over the place my bump measurements are, in the past 2 weeks it's been over 90th, below the 50th then come back to the same measurement that was the 90th but this one was 2 weeks after that. If I wasn't already having growth scans I would have been sent for one. It will be interesting what the growth on the scan says on Monday as been tracking the 10th on them so far.

I had a different midwife today as my normal one was on holiday. She was nice but didn't read my notes so when I mentioned DD2 in my answer to one of her questions she said 'who's that?' and I had to explain that she had died and why. She was kind and understanding but I shouldn't have had to tell her. I'm now only 4 days away from the gestation when DD2 died so very nervous atm.

Hello, I've just found out I'm pregnant again after having a MMC in May. The last few months have been the worst so hopefully this is my day of light. Very very early days but I hope I have a sticky one. I feel totally overwhelmed right now

@Squiff70 the BHs feel a bit like mild period pains but I also feel them right across my front, like they make me catch my breath a bit. More in the evenings too.

@Irishgene welcome, this is a really supportive group to be a part of and I hope everyone's experiences can help you with how overwhelmed you're feeling!

Oh I'm doing that thing where I'm jumping straight in having not caught up but I'm freaking out. I went got a 7 mile run this morning and now have just started bleeding. My MWs and Drs all said I can continue to run etc but surely this cant be a coincidence?

@TwittleBee did the sonographer find the reason for your original bleeding? I'm sorry to hear you are bleeding again, it's a scary time for you. Best thing is to ring epu, but it may be a coincidence.

No they never did @Rubyroost and I cant ring my EPU, they only talk to MWs and Drs here not the pregnant women. I tried before and the nurse on the other end was quite abrupt.

Ffs. Do you have a number in your maternity book you can ring. I have a number for the maternity ward I will be on, I ring them in emergencies

I dont have one, I'm only 7+3 - booking in app with MW and the start of my fortnightly scans begins monday. I'm just going to have to wait until then. I've dropped a text to my MW but i know she doesnt work weekends

Oh @TwittleBee I hope everythibg works out for you. Sending hugs x

Welcome @Irishgene.

@Twittlebee I hope the bleeding stops soon and hope everything goes well on Monday.

Sorry to hear you're bleeding @TwittleBee. Is it spotting or actual bleeding? Hopefully it is just your cervix/that area being sensitive/irritated from the run. Put a pad in and keep an eye on the amount xxx

Welcome @Irishgene I really hope all goes well this time - we understand how you're feeling! Xx

@TwittleBee sorry to read that you're bleeding. I'd guess it's probably the run has irritated things but completely understand your worry. My mind instantly convinced itself of the worst case scenario. Keep us updated as we're all thinking of you xxx

Welcome @Irishgene! It's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed.

Sorry you're bleeding @TwittleBee :( it's terrifying to bleed in pregnancy but it can be ok. I had the same abrupt conversation with the epu when I had bleeding. I got an out of hours doctor to arrange a scan but Monday is probably as early as you'll get on the nhs anyway. Is the bleeding slowing down?