Due May 2020 (thread 3)

[sao81]

Carrying on from thread 2!

@Spuntik welcome to the group! How did your flight go? I am also doing a 9 hour flight next Saturday when I'll be 14+2 and I am anxious about it. Would love to hear how you got on!

Morning all. Need to vent a bit 😡 saw some friends last night - the last time I saw them was the same day I found out I was pregnant but of course didn’t tell them until much later. One friend said “Oh that makes sense now because when I saw you that day, I said to the others that I thought you had put weight on”.

I was only 4 weeks pregnant then! I was hardly going to be carrying a baby bump was I?? So basically just called me fat in front of everyone 🙄

I just can’t believe how many people have been so free and easy talking to me about my body shape since finding out I’m pregnant. People love speculating about how big I’m going to get (I’m petite in height and fairly slim) and telling me how I look. I can’t bear the scrutiny when I already feel a bit out of sorts with the all changes :(

@Sunshine8888 That's lovely news. Such a huge milestone.

@sazzlerazzle Sorry you are feeling out of sorts. Insensitive comments certainly don't help. I've had some people (not friends more acquaintances) saying wait until you 'are huge and have stretch marks' or 'you will wee when you sneeze after having a baby'. I almost feel these people take joy from the thought that my body will be ruined. I think pregnancy is a time when we feel extra vulnerable and need extra love and reassurance from those around us. I know I do.

@sazzlerazzle I have had similar with a couple of my friends. I am quite slender and petite, and one of my friends keeps commenting on how my body is going to be ruined, and I won't have nice breast again, and I need to be prepared to gain a lot of weight, etc. That could all happen, of course, but I also think that a few of my friends hope that my body is ruined or I gain a lot of weight because it will validate their weight gain, etc.

It has made me paranoid and self-critical because I have been so ill with this pregnancy that I can't work out as much, and I can only stomach pasta, potatoes and biscuits. Part of me wants to prove these friends wrong as a way to push back against their comments, and so when I am laying in bed eating biscuits because everything else makes me sick, it makes me feel even worse.

Thanks @Pastnowfuture and @rosewater20 I’m sorry that you’ve both had awful comments too.

I’m in the same boat when it comes to exercise - I used to be so active and I don’t do half as much now (plus craving bad food all the time!) Don’t focus your energy on trying to prove them wrong though, because you’re doing it for them not for yourself. Do what you need and what is best for you and baby.

I’m over the moon to be pregnant and I actually don’t care that my body won’t be exactly the same afterwards but what’s getting to me is knowing that other people are looking at me and critiquing me and thinking about my body in such intense detail. It’s a bit much 😞

Jeez ignore those people! Each body deals with pregnancy differently, plenty of time to get back in shape after if you want to. My friends who have kids have both snapped back so I’m hoping for that but if not I don’t really care 😂 I have noticed how people comment so much on pregnancy though, my work friends are the worst for it xx

Oh girls. People are so cruel sometimes :(

This is my 4th so have been showing since very early. All I get from people (including my own mother!) is "your huge", or "you're never lose the weight after this one", or "are you sure you don't have gestational diabetes"!!!!

I've just got to learn to ignore them I suppose.

I also had a ridiculous comment after we announced the pregnancy. Some 'friend' (and I use that term loosely!) commented with the words "wow what a shock, I couldn't go back to a baby now" (my other 3 are 15, 13 & 7 and she has 5 ranging from 13-6yrs) I responded with "well it wasn't a shock to us, we knew it was happening!" Stupid cow. It was almost like she was trying to shame me as if this baby was a mistake. And even if we hadn't been trying to conceive who has the right to say anything like that to someone anyway!!

I just wish people would keep their opinions to themselves. Or better yet - don't talk to me if you have nothing nice to say 😂 (does anyone think
I'm a little hormonal????!!!)

Hope you all have lovely Sunday's 💕

@Helensss I know you’re right, it’s just hard sometimes when it’s so constant!

@Moonstone12 Wow, some people really don’t think before they open their mouths do they?? Maybe we are hormonal.... or maybe other people are just dicks 😂😂😂

Wow, do you really want these people in your lives? They sounds insensitive and rude. I try to surround myself with people who make me feel good and get rid of the ones who don’t. I’d rather have less really good friends than lots of average / unpleasant ones!! Life is too short for people like that. I would ignore and get rid to be honest!! Xx

When I am not feeling emotional about the comments it is clear to me that their comments say more about their own insecurities and aren't really about me at all. I am so grateful to be pregnant and so happy to be at this time in my life. Yet, it can be hard to feel as if I no longer have control over my body. I am too exhausted and sick to work out every day and my body is changing (from bloat) from one minute to the next.

I’ve been clearing out my spare room as it was my ‘throw my clothes everywhere’ room, exciting to see it clear and ready for next year 😬 completely non baby related but does anyone have any good amazon/Netflix series recommendations? X

People are mean because they are insecure themselves. Their comments only reflect on them and to be honest, I just feel sad for them! Please dont worry about your bodies and what shapes and sizes you might be after baby is born. Everybody deals with it differently, some naturally spring back. Others have a drive for a healthy lifestyle and excercise their butts into shape and others (thats me) accept their weight gain and use it as an excuse to go shopping for new clothes 🤷🏻‍♀️ there is no right or wrong and your baby will love you regardless of stretch marks/six packs/wrinkles/muffin tops/size 6 jeans 🤣

@Helensss I’ve been having a clear out too, feels so good! I’m going to gradually tackle every cupboard in the lead up to Christmas

@Clairesoph you’re right!!

@Helensss I’m super late to the party but I’ve just started watching The Crown on Netflix and loving it

We went to Mothercare today. I wondered if there would be any bargains, but also I wanted OH to see some of the things we need / I want! He's decided that he wants to thoroughly research car seats as he thinks he needs to know a lot more about safety etc 😍. Our local shop is very well stocked and it's 10% off, so no big bargains. However there is 25% off maternity wear, so I now have new Jean's!

jeans not Jean's. Autocorrect 🙄

@Spuntik - I had an 8 hour flight 2 weeks ago when I was 12weeks. It was fine - just make sure you stay hydrated and try and get some movement every few hours 😊

@november90 I know! It's my Jamie jeans that I'll miss. Although I have just ordered some maternity bands so hope I can wear them for a little longer!

Hi ladies, I'm 13 weeks tomorrow. Due May 25th. I was feeling a little less nauseous this week. Hooray! So I got a bit excited and started cleaning the house etc. However, now Ive has headaches, dizziness and heart palpitations. Midwife says it's normal and I just need to rest. I only work three days. I feel like I'm not doing much of anything anyway. If I do anything less I'll be practically bed bound. This is my first baby. I feel completely wiped out. My poor hubby is running around me like mad. When did you start feeling a bit more like you don't have to nap or lie down every 2 minutes?!

Hi all, i very new to mumsnet so having a snoop about and came across this topic. Im also due may! Had my scan back on November 5th, luckily everything looked happy and healthy. First pregnancy so i was a bag of nerves and didnt know what to expect. Just gone 15 weeks today, and i Just wanted to join in and see whats happening with everyone else and how they’re doing? Xx

Im 15 weeks now, due may 11th and i currently still suffer with lots of headaches and tiredness. Headaches more than anyhing though, hey are becoming less intense so hang in there!

@123Pandy thank you. Drank plenty, luckily sat by the aisle so didn't have to disturb anyone as frequent loo breaks were needed 🤭

@woolycat went fine thank you. I drank and moved a lot. And packed some snacks. Last minute packed my running compression socks too (didn't have anything else) but didn't wear them. It didn't feel as it was 8 hours long. Felt really emotional tho, was worried and, as silly as it sounds, was missing my dog that I left home so was on a brink of crying. Then put on a film about a dog, which meant to be a comedy and it wasn't! I cried like a lunatic 👀 Worried about not eating or drinking anything dodgy here so can't fully relax! 🙄 where are you off to?

@Niki93 lovely to hear your news and congratulations. do u work part time on health grounds?! then it's not unreasonable to be feeling rubbish ... i felt rough most days until now.. my nausea is better / less constant and i'm ok without a nap but the headaches/ headcold continues and now i'm using my blue inhaler - which i did not need for over 6 months!

i definitely have a bump and can't wear my " normal" trousers. where's everyone getting maternity trousers from?

@Helensss @sazzlerazzle @Moonstone12 @rosewater20 do you ladies think some people just don't know how it feels ( not intentionally trying to hurt you). my eldest sister is a bloody nightmare because she's an unhappy person but these people can be kind at other times that their negative comments don't define them.
i know i come out with these random comments too before DD because i simply did not know and had no insight that the comments sounded hurtful - the intention was to warn/ advice/ make aware ... also ppl sometimes just want an excuse to share bullshit others have said to them like a Chinese whisper ... i hope your friends will show they are worthy by the help and suppprt they provide after baby /babies arrive x i try to forgive and give the benefit of the doubt because i've said stupid comments from a naive place before xxx i just think i'm so so lucky to be pregnant .. i'm blessed that i have access to clean water and food to allow me the choice of over eating and becoming obese! it's true my body changed and never went back to pre-pregnancy shape., but that's just evidence that i have achieved / created life! goodnight everyone

i fancy a glass of red wine for sure

@facevalue ive stuck with h&m for most maternity wear. I have jeans and leggings from there and a pair of work trousers too. Not cheap by any stretch but Im never lucky when Im searching through ebay lol!

Oh and @facevalue I should say that theyre mat stuff is really true to size. Im a 14 so stuck to buying 14s/large and everything at the moment fits in the leg but is loose on the belly with a good amount if growing room xx