I had a very difficult appointment yesterday and still feeling quite rattled by it.
We had the anomaly scan which happily was totally perfect, nothing to worry about so of course we are really happy about that.
But I am getting increasingly frustrated with my doctor. She seems so critical and dismissive. Here in Korea, there are only private doctors so of course there is a lot of choice and it's really hard to accept someone being rude when I'm paying 100 pounds or more for every appointment.
But there are very few hospitals that offer any birth other than C section or an epidural with episiotomy (the rate is like 99% for the latter). The partner is thrown out of the room when the baby comes out. They then take your baby away to the nursery for three days and you can only see them twice a day for 10 minutes. That is not what I want. But there are maybe only three or four clinics here that offer things like water birth/doula care/partner being in the room etc. I'm very far from a hippy mum but I don't want too many medical interventions either if it doesn't have to be like that.
Some things that happened yesterday:
She has this conviction that I am dangerously weak and skinny. Now I am quite small, but I go hiking once a week, I can cycle 25km without stopping and I can lift more with my legs in the gym than my quite sporty husband can. I'm not weak by any means. But she will always mention my 'sedentary lifestyle'. It is EVERY appointment. She doesn't even ask what I have been doing wrt exercise, she just says 'you need to move more'.
I had heartburn last week and she said 'it's too early for you to have heartburn - it's because you don't exercise enough'.
My husband mentioned that we'd been sleeping apart because he fidgets and snores and I have to get up at 5.30 every day. She said 'no you mustn't do that, you have to stay emotionally connected'. Not sure how she wants us to emotionally connect when I'm about to murder him, but ok.
She said that I'm too thin as I've only put on 3kg. I do struggle to put on weight, but I will try to eat more. Again, she blamed this on me not exercising enough.
It really really got to me. I feel like everything I mention is dismissed and every concern I have is made out to be about my size and my lack of exercise. Even if I didn't exercise, this would be annoying, but I DO.
We are definitely going to change doctor but I am so angry right now and it really bothered me yesterday how everything we mentioned was just basically attacked. Some of it is translation issues and cultural differences, but my husband also finds her rude and dismissive (although not as much as I do since in Korea, doctor = God.)
Anyway. Just having a moan but I'm feeling down and lacking in confidence right now.