December 2019-Thread 2

[BostonFern]

Kicking off a new thread since the last one if nearly full!

@Nojeans DH is all over the place. He was really the more broody out the 2 of us when in came to TTC. Now that I am actually pregnant he has good days and bad days. He's really interested in how big baby is and all that kind of stuff but painfully reluctant to do anything all that helpful. For example today I have developed such bad heartburn that it's making me sick. I was sent home from work, he went to the pub for 4 hours. Not helpful at all.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through something similar. When I send him anything to read he doesn’t look at it - I guess if he reads it it becomes more real. Having heartburn and then partner going to pub not helpful at all! For me it’s that the bad days for him now far outnumber the good. I’m hoping he’ll change once baby is born...

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver I've had to go to the shop for Gaviscon this afternoon... heartburn has been dreadful today! Your DH really wasn't helpful was he ☹️

I don't necessarily mind him going to the pub it's the way he went about it that's pissed me off. The owners of the restaurant he works at have sold the place and he was going to a meeting to find out what's happening etc. When he got there the meeting was cancelled so they went to the pub, I was at home worried sick about him losing (another) job and he didn't even tell me that it was cancelled until hours later. He will have been out the house for around 8 hours for a meeting that never happened by the time he gets home.
I guess things are different for us than our partners as we have to change immediately. Watching what we eat, drink and do from the day we find out. They don't really HAVE to change anything until they're handed a baby. It probably doesn't feel as real to them as it does to us or at least that's what I'm hoping.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver yeah I understand. A quick message from him would have been nice!

I got a request to attend an interview for the job I'd applied for (and told I was wasting my managers time!). I have a week to prepare and think I've got a decent speech for why a 'small leave of absence' won't make any difference if they give me the job...

Baby's movements are getting really strong, it's reacting to very specific things (like DDs singing, a colleagues loud voice and chips!). Still won't move if DH tries to feel though 😂

That's great news @codenameduchess! I really hope it goes well.

Congratulations on the interview @codenameduchess !

Can I join in please? Due my first, a boy, on December 15th!

Welcome @TeaAndCake30 have you found out if it’s a boy or girl ?

@elephantmarch we're having a boy :) what about you?

What's everyone doing about maternity leave dates, has anyone decided when they're aiming to finish yet? I'm due December 15th and planning to take two weeks leave beforehand and add a few days of annual leave on at the start so should be finishing around 26th November. Can't wait!

@TeaAndCake30 congratulations. We haven’t found out but I think it’s a boy, we have two boys, they are lovely. I think I’m going to start my maternity the week of my due date but use up my 8 days holiday before, so just over two weeks. But I have an easy commute and a desk based job

It's all got a little bit quieter on here, how is everyone doing? I am 21 weeks now and feeling a little bit more movement finally, however it is still very dulled compared to my previous pregnancies due to my anterior placenta.

We found out we are having another girl, a little sister for our 3yo. She is being so sweet at the moment, asking about the baby multiple times a day. We have a family wedding at the end of the month and i'm really struggling with what to wear! I'd prefer to avoid buying something new as cant see that I will get another occasion to wear it, but nothing in my wardrobe is suitable

PS @TeaAndCake30 i dont know what to do about maternity leave yet. My job is desk based and mostly from home, so in theory i cant work right up until baby comes! Last time i finished at 39 weeks and my DD arrived 16 days late, so I had over 3 weeks twiddling my thumbs. I'd rather avoid that this time but who knows - this baby could come early...

I've given in and bought a yoga ball. My back and hips are getting worse so hopefully it'll help ease the pressure.

How lovely @peamad it's nice when the little ones can get involved. has she asked how baby comes out? my DD has just turned 4 and one of her friends told her babies come out 'fuginas' 😂 I tried to explain it and she's had a good look at her own but says it doesn't make sense.

@codenameduchess I think I'm going to order one tonight from amazon. The thought of still being in this pain (or probably more pain) for at least another 15 weeks actually made me cry last night but there's not much I can do other than get on with it. How are you getting on at work?

@TeaAndCake30 I'm really hoping I can hold out until 37+5 to start my mat leave but I have PGP and the pain is doing me in. I'm off next week do a break and we're away for a week in September so I'm just trying to focus on the positives. Congrats on having a boy, we're having a boy too.

Yes @codenameduchess she knows the baby will (hopefully!) come out of my vagina, although she calls it a vulva as that is the word we use for her external genitalia. She will turn three this month and her speech is still limited, but she says all the time 'baby will get big big big then come out of your vulva!' its really cute We haven't gone into any more detail than that yet, although we have got a couple of books including a lovely home birth book called Hello Baby which shows the whole labour process.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver interview for the promotion is next week... I've got a good amount of support from senior management but from other directorates so not sure if it'll do me any good.

@peamad I like the idea of the hello baby book, dd hasn't quite understood other than it being impossible for a baby to get out how I say it will but I'm not sure if she'd care enough past 'the baby will come out'. She loves checking the app to see how big baby is and what it looks like now though.

Hey lovely ladies! How is everyone doing? Little one is kicking like mad now - I have an anterior placenta so thought I might not feel him, but I can actually see my belly move with him now.

Struggling with a hormonal week at the moment. It's bringing back memories of being in my teens 😂 Has anyone got any tips for managing mood a little better?

@CourgetteAndCrisps that's fab! I love watching my belly move ❤️

Have you tried meditation? Not sure what else to suggest...

I have a dilemma, DHs parents don't know about baby yet. We don't speak to them- FIL not at all and MIL contact is limited to a couple of texts a year (DDs birthday and Xmas usually and that's her choice, she's had the chance to change that). It's been this way for about 3 years now, DH has no desire to contact them or have them in our lives again and for good reason. The issue was all FIL, I have MIL on social media and it's me she'll text on those occasions. I know from fb she's been ill and is having an operation although not sure what the illness is. Do I text and see how she is (illness could be a cancer relapse) and let her know about baby? Or leave it and she'll find out anyway?

@codenameduchess hard to say without knowing the ins and out but on limited information my instinct would be to talk too Dh and encourage him to ask her how she is if she’s ill. I’m sure she will greatly appreciate the loving thought if she’s going through a tough time and news of a grandchild may lift her spirits.

That's a hard one @codenameduchess. Have you told DH what you've seen on social? Maybe he'll have an opinion.

Yes I've told DH, he says he can't deal with contacting her. It does cause him a lot of stress so I understand (don't want to give too much info as it's a bit outing, but FIL is a vile person).
they live around 200 miles from us so there's no run ins or visits and she won't meet the baby or see dd again.

I'm leaning towards just dropping her a text to see how she is and let her know then I'll tell dh if it's something serious. I don't want to get involved in any drama, but also don't want dh to miss any last chances.

Hiya everyone
@codenameduchess have you decided what to do yet? Must be really difficult to know what to do for the best.

I had a small bleed yesterday, everything's fine but after some blood tests they needed me to come back to have an anti-d injection. Nipped like no other injection I've ever had, she offered to do my bum instead but I politely declined! Growth scans start next week so we get to see the wee guy again soon.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver glad everything seems to be back in order and under control . I'd love to see my baby again, but I must wait until birth

Sleep! I just want to lay on my back or stomach! 😭