December 2019-Thread 2

[BostonFern]

Kicking off a new thread since the last one if nearly full!

Morning @Issywizzybelle I'm very pleased to live in Scotland at the moment but it's still warmer than I'm used to plus I have indoor cats so can't open the windows for fear of them escaping.

Also in a moment of madness have booked a holiday for next September! It's a haven caravan in the UK but it was such a good deal, does mean that I've booked a holiday for a child that doesn't exist yet which has kind of freaked me out.

*blond. My son is blond not blind. I need to proofread, sorry.

Well done on getting your holiday booked @smartcarnotsosmartdriver - I'm rubbish at booking them in advance, which is why we've missed out this summer: by the time I got round to it there was no space left at the cattery.

And now a bold fail. I give up. Sorry.

Haha in no @RobinsNest17 I thought you meant blonde. Yeah, we've booked already and they let you pay it up so it's only about £25 a month which we won't miss and it means we'll definitely get a holiday together, I'm hoping I'll still be on maternity then so it'd be really nice to go away the three of us. I think I'll need to hire a bigger car though...

Well I've had my repeat scan and they still couldn't see his heart. I asked them flat out if anything was wrong and they couldn't say no. Also there was 2 of them in the room, no trainees. They've said they can only see the middle, they can't see the 4 chambers or the output. I have growth scans starting in September if they can see it great but it's not what they're actually looking for. I'm so upset, what if we're going through all of this and he won't even make it? What if we're buying all his things for nothing?

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver

Oh bless you that's not at all what you want to hear. I assume they have not offered u another scan?

I went for a private scan last week and they checked all the organs so I have some reassurance for my 20 weeks scan.

Are u able to book yourself a private scan and they will check for you also. It's also a lovely environment I found.

I can't imagine how terrible you must feel leaving that room. Thinking of you xxx each stage seems to be another thing to worry about xxx

@Funnybunnyfluff would they go into that much detail? We've seen the heartbeat but they need to actually check the chambers of his heart?

Had 20 week scan today. She looked for the 4 chambers and the valves, as well the 3 vessels at the top checking they were positioned right, and looked at them from a different angle to check where the aorta and another artery converged in a v shape. This second bit took a while to get baby in the right position to see.

They did for us yes.

I remember as we thought the kidney was the heart and she pointed out every little detail.

For us you have to phone and book so I would actually ask them on the phone. Of course all places are different, but it's at least worth a phone call and explain your concerns.
I think because your paying for a private scan they seem more approachable of that makes sense.

They make it very clear that it's not an NHS scan so it doesn't go on my records but to have the assurance.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver How horrible for them to just leave you hanging, I can't believe they would just leave it at that. Can you call your midwife?! She might be able to request another scan or at least refer you to a specialist to talk through what it means etc.

I agree with @RobinsNest17

I wouldn't just let them leave you in this situation.

@Funnybunnyfluff that's all I need, I've messaged the place we've been to before that we're really nice. If I haven't heard back tomorrow I'll call them.

@RobinsNest17 my midwife isn't in today so I've sent her a message to speak to her when she's back.

Thanks everyone

Hello everyone! I'm a first time mummy to be and almost 18 weeks pregnant. Am starting to notice my tummy slowly forming into a bump which is quite exciting! I've just moved to Kent from London and dont know anybody yet - any other mummies or mummies to be living in Kent? Any ideas on ways to meet people?! Thanks all. Happy to be part of such a wonderful online community!

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver I'm so sorry that today's scan wasn't clearer. I can't believe they think it's ok to leave it there, of course you will be worried not knowing how his heart is. I really hope it's nothing apart from bad luck that they haven't been able to get a proper look at the heart. Fingers crossed your midwife or the scan place can help. If you don't get anywhere with them I would maybe look into getting a private obstetric opinion. If you have any private hospitals/clinics near you I would call up and see what they could offer. Often the consultants do both NHS and private care. I've had a lot of private gynae care and where possible my consultant has seen me on the nhs to help save us money. You shouldn't even have to go down this path but just wanted to suggest it in case you want to try other options

@Staplehurstnewbie

Welcome, I am 19 weeks today and a first time mum. I live in Kent also but I have not looked up and groups or anything yet. I know there are plenty around. 😁

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver I'm so sorry you didnt get a conclusive outcome at your scan. Did the NHS sonographer not arrange a follow up heart scan? Where I live this is standard practice and would happen asap. My offer of a private chat is still there if you think it would help.

Welcome @Staplehurstnewbie. I think ante natal classes and baby classes can be a great way to meet new people. My DH and I did NCT and made a lovely group of friends who we still see regularly 3 years on. We moved to a new area 4 years ago and have actually made wonderful friends with our neighbours, it helps having kids who can play together etc. We organised a street party recently and it was a great way to get to know others in our area.

@Staplehurstnewbie

Now I have read @peamad post, I tell a fib.

I have booked NCT classes as, in my mind I was thinking after the baby was born 🙈!

I have had two friends who both this year have done NCT and made new friends 😁 x

I have a friend who made friends through the NCT classes. There are also apps like Mush and Peanut to make mum friends :)

Are they the apps a bit like a tinder for new mums ? 😂 not sure how to describe it hehe

@Funnybunnyfluff Yes, my health visitor told me about them. I think it could be a good chance to meet other mums in your area. Sometimes they organise meet-ups. I haven’t used Mush too much but I went to a picnic organised by one of the mums one day and it was fun.

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver I think your first bet should be to call the midwife. Tell her you’re anxious that you haven’t had the heart seen on a scan yet and see if they will refer you to a fetal cardiologist. If you avail from that then pursue the private scan route. Most likely it’s just bad positioning and there’s nothing to be concerned by. If the heart was beating healthily that must be a good sign

@Funnybunnyfluff hehe that would be good. Swipe right if you look fun, swipe left if you’ve given your child a silly name or use the word hollibobs In your profile. @Staplehurstnewbie definitely look into nct. I know lots of people who formed great friendships through it and I wish I had done it. Otherwise things like church playgroups or sensory classes are good in the early days

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver also I just googled and little heart matters came up. It’s a charity and there’s a number you can call. May be good to advise on next steps?

@elephantmarch thank you so much. I've spoken to my midwife today and explained how upset and anxious I am, I'm not sure she was taking me seriously until then. I have an appointment next week with a consultant anyway and she says we can discuss it then so I'm hopeful that they'll help me.

Hi ladies! I’ve not posted in a really long time but just had a little catch up and wanted to share our experience with you @smartcarnotsosmartdriver. I’m 22 weeks tomorrow. We had our first ‘20 week’ scan at 19w5 and we were told one of the 3 vessels in the heart was looking short, baby was also being uncooperative so they didn’t get some of the other checks done (face/lips) so we were booked in for another scan the next week. The first sonographer wasn’t especially reassuring but did say it could be down to angles, we had a trainee in too and I did feel like it affected the flow/ timings of that scan. I couldn’t help but go away and worry about baby’s heart, it’s not what you want to hear at any scan and is really hard when all you see are other people commenting on how healthy their baby’s are at their 20 week scan.
At our next scan, the sonographer said she was inclined to agree with the first one and that the measurement was on the small side. She was really reassuring though and said that although she wasn’t a specialist she didn’t want us to worry too much as the rest of the baby’s development looked good etc. We were referred to the Fetal medicine unit at our local city centre hospital the following week (I believe the NHS policy is to do each follow up appointment within 5 working days) and we saw a specialist consultant who did a more in depth heart scan and luckily we were told that although one vein is smaller, it doesn’t affect the heart’s function. Obviously, we’re very relieved but I completely get your worries atm. I would push for a referral. Do you have the notes from your scans in your folder? They have to mark normal/ abnormal/ unsure next to each check. Ours was left as ‘unsure’ for the heart after the first two scans. It might be worth checking to see how they’ve worded it. It is really unfair of them to leave you hanging but it really could just be down to angles/ positions still at this stage. I hope your consultant can help and you get some answers soon. XX