September 2019 babies - thread #4

[Stroan]

Starting a new thread before the old one gets filled up!

Interesting to read about all the BF potential hazards. This is something I really want to do, so it’s good to have lots of info in advance.

I also have 20 week scan booked - 16th April for me. But I have a 16 week scan to check cervical length on 22nd March so I’ll get to see baby again! Hoping everything goes OK with that as the though of a stitch terrifies me!

Also team yellow here!

For those unsure about breastfeeding or wanting to read up on possible problems and how to resolve them, kellymom.com is a wonderful source of information. Pretty much any problem you could encounter will be explained and remedied somewhere on there! It was a massive help to me

20week scans...I'm like @DustyDoorframes and still waiting on my 12 weeks. Its Friday but I have never been so impatient about anything ever.

I BF'd DD to about 18months, she had the odd formula feed (probably 2 boxes total) . Feeding I found fine minus a bout of mastitis and quite a bit if enforcement BUT pumping I hated and felt it was necessary ar the time. Actively planning more of a combi feed this time, maybe FF before bed just considering how often DD fed it was like endless cluster feeds.

I hated my hospital stay, the birth ward midwives were amazing and the ones of the "recovery" completely harrassed and rude - I didn't sleep from Wednesday 6am till sometime on the Sunday, having given birth!, when I was discharged it, was horrendous. Family next to me there from the crack of dawn till 11pm long after visiting hours playing computer games and a bloody kids mobile on a loop till I lost my nut. Then they leave and mum starts taking pictures of her babe with a flash till gone midnight, urghhhh next time I'm leaving asap.

With regards to bf, I'm truly on the fence, but probably leaning towards FF. I wouldn't mind giving it a go, but I in no way want to be solely responsible for feeding. The thought of cluster feeding makes me want to go out and buy a perfect prep right now. If I can give the baby a couple of feeds a day from the start, and the rest from a bottle, then fair enough, but everything I've read seems to suggest this isn't possible for the first 3-6 weeks at least. So if I can't do that, I'd rather just FF.

I got pregnant with this baby with the clear knowledge between my partner and I that we are both equal parents. I can't cope with the thought of being stuck to the sofa or completely tied to a hungry baby cluster feeding, when if we were ff then DP would be doing some/half too. I know that the dad can get up in the night too, bring you supplies, change bums, etc, but in reality 1. That's two of you awake when you could be doing shifts, and 2. I've read more than enough Mumsnet threads to know that dad's don't always live up to their promises.

The thought of having to express in order to be able to go out for more than an hour by myself makes me really uncomfortable and a little claustrophobic.

So, all in all, I know breast is best, I know the positives, but I think realistically I'm too selfish for it. And it's not something I feel comfortable discussing openly, because breastfeeding is such an emotive subject, and I've found lots of people take criticism of it as a personal slur, rather than listen to the reasons it's not FOR ME.

Hmm I'm of the opinion to breastfeed because it's the most natural, milk designed for my baby without any fake stuff in it. It's cheaper. Having responsibility for feeding my baby doesn't bother me. I dont see why people are restricted to the sofa? I had friends who travelled the world with their baby.
I kind of see it as "why would I take a taxi if i have my own car outside?" kind of thing.
Obviously each to their own but for me, it's most logical, good bonding, cheaper, less faff. Win win.
I really hope I can manage it :)

Even if i did fancy trying bf this time there is NO WAY i could fit it in around 4 other dc lol

I failed to bf Dd, but as Eggy said I honestly think it was lack of support. Dd wanted to feed nearly every 20 mins (this was the first few days) I thought there was something wrong with me or my supply. No one tells you that their stomachs are only the size of a cherry so they fill up quickly (after a 5-10 minute feed) but they need to feed again very quickly. Obviously as they grown those times change. I lasted 2 weeks bf and DH was topping her up with a bottle in the evening so I could get a few hours sleep.

By the time I'd found support and read websites like kelly mom, we'd been topping up more and more with formula, Dd wasn't fussed about bf anymore and my supply had suffered. So by 8 weeks we switched completely to formula. And we were much happier for it.

I'd definitely give it a go again this time now I know more!

On a completely random note... why am I craving a red bull! Such a weird craving! And not one I'll be indulging in but I even feel like buying a can to smell it!

@IVEgottheDECAF no I think you'll be busy enough 😂 how old are your other 4?

We love our perfect prep KnobJockey total life safer for those nigh feeds when we switched to solely FF.

Whisky2014 oh yeah it shouldn't totally restrict you with BF but sometimes it's so tiring all you can do is sit there focusing on BFing as DC won't come off the boob even after a 5 hour session of cluster feeding. But same time, it is total freedom as I would just be able to walk down the street and carrying on walking and BFing DS when he wanted a feed.

I breastfed my DS. I had no physical problems, he crawled up and latched immediately after birth, however I had zero confidence in my ability and always assumed I was doing it wrong or he wasn't getting enough. I wish I had done more research before he came along as to how much feeding is normal for a breastfed baby. I did carry on though for just under a year, once we were established it was very easy. I was however awful at expressing!
I'm going to try my best to breastfeed two. But I will be realistic about how much work that is going to be and I need to not get so against FF. If they need topping up then that's fine. I did really miss BFing after my son weaned and it's one of the things I really looked forward to when planning another baby.

Knobjockey I joined specifically to add my agreement to your post! I’m in the same frame of mind plus I don’t have the self-confidence to do it. Anaaand I was hoping to head back to work part time ASAP as I am on SMP and in a job where skills and career progression don’t lend themselves to a year out.

Hi all, due sept and already claiming worst parent in the world award

florence when baby is due they will be 11, 10, 6 and nearly 3. So two are bigger but next Sept Dc1 starts high school and then Dc2 will have his sats tests and all the other year 6 stuff!

@KnobJockey
I feel the same as you, I’ve got a horse to look after so will be leaving baby for a couple of hours at a time with DH and the idea of cluster feeding makes me feel really panicky. I’ll have to express so that means all the aggravation of bottles as well so I don't think it bodes well for us.
But, I am curious enough about it to give it a try-if it hurts though there is no chance. Been reading about women persevering with cracked and bleeding nipples having to bite on something whilst baby latches on and there is NO WAY in this earth I’m doing that.
My oldest friend was a BF support person though through NCT, over 15 years ago now but she knows her stuff so I have got ready made free support if I want it.

15 weeks today!

Perfect prep is great, although your mw / hv will likely warn you against it. There is some debate over when making the smallest quantities there is enough hot water to kill the bacteria in the formula. Tbh if you are only making up 4 oz or less it will cool really quickly if made from the kettle and held under the tap. That was my answer to that. There was also a big drama over the insides of perfect preps going mouldy but this seems to have been down to people using not TT filters and not running cleaning cycles. You can unscrew the back panel to check and mine was always fine.

Our HV told us to get one haha IVEgottheDECAF ! And yay to 15 weeks!

Haha! Was she a younger one by any chance?

She was in her 40s so probably average age!

Other HVs overheard and couple agreed it's a life saver and silly o'clock. (This conversation happened at weigh in clinic)

Ah that is good!

My big three i used to take the kettle to bed with me. Safe

Morning everyone! Just had a mega catch up as not really been on this week, pleased to see everyone’s generally doing well.

Is it weird that I’m a little freaked out by the discussions of birth choices and bf-ing?! Currently I don’t really seem to have processed that in 6 months time I’ll have to give birth to an actual baby (and this was v much a planned and wanted pregnancy - hopefully I’ll get my head around it soon!!).

Forthelove doesn’t matter if it’s your first baby or you 50th, I think everyone feels like that at some point!
I was quite pragmatic throughout my pregnancy with DC2, didn’t really worry about anything, but then had a major wobble when I was in labour! My mum took DC1 upstairs for a nap and it hit me: “when she wakes up, her whole life is going to be different! She’s no longer an only child!” and I had a big meltdown. Probably a mixture of genuine worry, and the fact that I was in transition and that seems to be the point in labour where everyone let’s go of their rationally thinking brain

Heh science we are getting ahead of ourselves! Woot to 15 weeks decaf!

Re sharing the load- we are the household I know who share it most equally, by far. Key things- sharing the housework, and both working part time. If one of you is FT and the other PT it is so so hard to for the PT one to not end up being chief of house and kids. (Incidentally, I've breastfed both mine for yonks- the early weeks work like this: I loll on the sofa/bed reading magazines, listening to the radio, breastfeeding and napping, DP does everything else... once past the early days - when you are recovering from birth anyway- we were quite happily mobile- but YMMV and every household works in its own way!!)

Dusty I breastfed both for a while, and we went by the general rule of: if I’m putting the food in, DH can deal with it when it comes out the other end
I’d say that’s a great way to share the load 💩

I am default parent in this house ......