The March-ers 2019 - #9 Meet the Babies

[Angelmiracle]

Thread 9 wow 🤗

All being well a lot more birth announcements this thread 👣🍼🤰🏿🤰🤰🏾🤰🏼

Check-in mamas ✔

And was also told I might be able to have a water birth, might not, it depends who is on dury that day 😩

@melissa112 @CaseofEllen You both have such beautiful dogs!
I'm also very emotional which is very very unlike me.
Not sure if you all remember but I had to launch Harassment charges against the man who crashed into me on a roundabout. He has ramped up his contact to ringing my phone at least twice a day and has tried to add/ contact me on social media. I also got an email from facebook saying that someone has tried to access my account. I have no idea what the creeps end game is which is the most frightening part of the whole situation. Out of all the people on the roads, he had to hit me....
I feel guilty for bringing my baby into this situation as it's looking like it's not going to be resolved by the time it's born. Fed up of looking over my shoulder whenever I go out alone and don't want to end up cooping myself and baby up once it's born as I'm too afraid to leave the house alone. I can't even protect myself at the moment so how am I going to protect the baby?!

@Sictransitgloria My BMI was high last time and just over the cut off this time (was told the cut off was 35). I was told both times that that meant consultant care and labour ward - I don't know if that's just recommended, I've certainly been made to feel that I don't get a choice about it. Not sure that helps you - I would say you are entitled to request the birth you want. Is the labour ward near the birthing centre in your hospital so they could easily transfer you if needed? I believe that I was told both times definitely not water birth but hopefully that's not the same for you, if that's what you'd like.

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever that's terrifying. I could understand someone getting into their head that they need to phone you about the accident (although obviously he has taken that too far already) but adding you on social media or trying to log in to your account is really creepy. Sorry, not helpful - I can only say contact the police and hope that there's something they can do to stop him. What have they done up until now?

They can ‘make you’ or ‘stop you’ doing anything as such. Though really it’s not quite as black and white.
The guidelines are there to keep people safe, or as safe as possible, but they are exactly that a guide line. If there is something you feel is really important to you, then you need to have a conversation and see how it can be ‘safely’ factilitied.

For instances for me, our guideline says BMI over 35 is an exclusion for pool use, but if that’s something you want then I would have a conversation about why/when I might want(need) you to get out, i’d need you to be able to demonstrate you can safely get in and out of the pool, etc.
So nothing is necessarily completely off limits but it’s a case of finding a balance, an alternative or a compromise.

The difficulty, sadly, is that some staff will be more willing to accommodate these needs than others.

*cant

@angelmiracle it is lengthy isn’t it?! It was good for my own thought process but not so much for getting info across to midwives.

I thought the days of treating people like that in hospitals were long gone!

@Jenfur That's what I think. I can imagine him trying to call to explain himself or see what's going on but now he's actively trying to seek me out to talk to me, I think it's going way too far. The police launched charges two weeks ago and were supposed to call me within 48 hours. I got a phone call from a withheld number last night just before 9, obviously I thought it was the man so didn't answer but it turns out it was the police. They haven't done anything as far as I'm aware. Only trouble is his behaviour is escalating whilst the police take their time.

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever That's awful, I really hope they can do more since it's escalated. Very scary that he has your address. Try not to worry about when getting cooped up with baby if this is still going on, hopefully it's all sorted by then anyway but you might also find you don't want to go out much post birth anyway.

Also, I understand it but think it's funny that the police call you from a withheld number at 9pm when your complaint is with being harassed by phone 🤦

I was told last time I wouldn't be allowed in the midwife led unit or to have a full water birth (though a bath would be fine if I was able to prove I could get myself in and out) due to bmi @sictransitgloria
This time it hasnt come up as there isn't a midwife led bit at the new hospital. Not sure I'm really a water birth person anyway so haven't asked. Sorry it isn't what you wanted to hear.

@assumeitwassomethingclever I would phone 101 (or any direct number you have) and ask for an update and log all the extra bits if you haven't already. I would highlight how pregnant you are too as they may not have noted it down.

Hope you're doing OK @wineandchoccy

@Jenfur I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling down too. I wish I was the only one as I don't want others to feel that way but also glad to know I'm not alone if that makes sense. A terrible mum wouldn't feel that way and worry about their DS as you do your stay on the ward last time sounds really stressful

@Angelmiracle thank you. I've been to see my nan today and tomorrow will have lunch with my mum while she's on half term so hopefully will take my mind off being alone. Think I'm just ready for him to be here now! Your experience on the postnatal ward sounds terrible. What a shock after not long giving birth, hope this time round is much better for you.

@ballanj Haha you'll have to let us know if the cat decides to sit on your lap on Thursday! Not long till you finish work then! It's all coming round so fast now! I'm going to Google the NCT now and some classes for me To take baby to. Massage etc. maybe. Did fancy the swimming ones but they seemed really expensive!

@CaseofEllen ahh your girl is beautiful! Love her dark colouring. How old is she? My dog is 11 in July and slowing down now but still worried about logistics of walking her with a baby etc. She mostly just potters but will bark back if another dog barks at her, narky mare, so think I may have to wait till DP is home once baby is here and take her out alone. Now I'm thinking about banana milk, might have to text DP to pick some up!

@Sictransitgloria haven't had any experience but didn't want to read and run. Hope you get the birth experience you want, I would have thought you'd be able to have more of a say.

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever I really thought this guy would have given up after the police got involved! Did you say you spoke to the police last night or just missed the call? I'd definitely be telling them about the increased attempts to contact you. I agree with @Jenfur, odd for police to call on a withheld number when knowing you're being bombarded with calls from the guy. I really hope the police get more involved soon!

@assumeitwassomethingclever how extreme! I’m sorry you’re going through this just when you really don’t need it. Agree with others and make a ‘nuisance’ of yourself with the police. You should be able to feel safe.

My cat has been obsessed with sitting on my until recently although it’a far more uncomfortable now so she’s likely to get pushed off. Still quite clingy!

You’ve made me realise how obsessed with milk I’ve become!

@Angelmiracle that's such an awful experience for you to go through - surely the only way is up?

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever keep on at the police, make sure they're updated and ask for a contact you can call into for updates if they can't call you on a known number.

@Sictransitgloria if your OH is your birth partner could he be the back up for lifting out of the birth pool? Let's face it someone of 5ft will be a lot lighter than someone of 6ft with the same bmi so there must be a little wiggle room.

@melissa112 NCT do lots of new parent courses too and they also have drop in coffee sessions etc that are free. In our area there's pretty much one NCT thing a day you could go to if you wanted. Some of tjem cost and others don't, but if you're struggling financially then email them as you can get it for free/discounted depending on your income. The Facebook page for my area is quite good too. You can start going to stuff whilst you're on mat leave too, you don't need to wait until the baby arrives.

@gronk27 and @angelmiracle the example one on the positive birth company is a bit lol isn't it?? I thought she was being really patronising with her justifications about it being best for baby etc... Leave your opinion out and just say what you want and it'd be half as long!! It was a good food for thought though and made us add things we probs wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

@scitransitgloria sorry you had bad news... As others have said they're guidelines only and it's your job to pick the battles you want to fight, imo. In my case they said labour ward only and likely default c section so we focused on getting the default c section off the cards and now they're saying possible induction at 39 weeks due to mild ICP but I'd rather go in to give my blood every day and monitor it that way, so that's our current battle. If we can get spontaneous labour then that will be a success, I don't overly mind about it being on the labour ward... But that's just me, and we've known the labour ward angle since before conception rather than getting it mentioned in the final few weeks. They've also given me conflicting info about if I can have the pool but given there's a higher chance of not getting a room with a pool than getting one with one on the labour ward we've decided to also not fight that battle even though I would love one, and this is how I'd imagined giving birth... So getting them to write up that I can definitely use the shower etc.

Congratulations to everyone who has had their baby and/or very on the way!! Still feels very far off for me!

@cardboard33 yes, mine is much briefer and accepting of the fact that I’ve not done this before so I’m not actually ruling anything out. Think i’ll write my own using a combo of the Positive Birth and NHS ones!

Thank you all for your replies. Was feeling glum earlier but guess I have to suck it up and go with what the dr says! I think it would help to visit the labour ward if it’s possible as I have a preconceived idea of what it is like. Will chat to my mw.

I have to say that given everything I went through I was happy on labour ward. I don't know how regular my experience was though as we were in the spare exam room (which was massive) and they were so busy (closed labour ward half an hour after I arrived) that we had a lot of hands off care, which was nice.
I know the midwife led unit at the same hospital was a lot more hands off and you had to be emergency transferred by wheelchair across the road if things started going "wrong" (as it were)

Ah ok it’s good to hear positives about it @squirtlesmumagain the midwifery led is next door to labour ward - they have one corridor connecting them to theatres. That’s why I was a bit miffed but think I just need to get over it - cba to fight it now, just gonna go with it. Will need to reframe what I would like (but then you never know whats going to happen anyway so 🤷‍♀️)

@scitransitgloria can you visit it perhaps? I've visited the midwife led unit as they do tours but couldn't see the labour ward. I asked about it and they said the rooms were the exact same just with extra equipment incase you needed it but it was good to get an idea of what it would be like.

I've done my birth preferences the same as I would regardless of the setting and said that I want it to be v hands off, non clinical, don't really want an epidural etc. So just gotta wait and see and attempt to control the things I can control rather than the exact location that I'm in.

Thanks everyone for your support. Whilst I was waiting for the police to call me back, I answered a phone call from a withheld number hoping it was from the police. It wasn't. The bloke again tried to get me to admit liability and said he wouldn't stop ringing me as he liked my voice too much. About half an hour later the police actually called and said they've found some more info on him from a previous crime and will call him tonight and then stop by his work tomorrow to follow up. Fingers crossed it'll sort it as the voice comment gave me the creeps.

@cardboard33 thank you, I'll make sure I have a look. Although quite nervous about meeting other mums for some reason!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever omg what an absolute creep this guy is!!!! I'm glad the police are going to see him tomorrow and hopefully that will frighten him into stopping. This makes me so angry that someone can get away with doing this!

@assumeitwassomethingclever how stupid that the police ring on an unknown number how will you ever know whether to answer or not! Glad the police are taking action. Fingers crossed it makes a difference.

Baby Lois was delivered this morning at 8.40 after having my waters broke at midnight and the syntocin drip and epidural at 4am. Very quick at the end 3 pushes and she was here. Sunday and Monday were awful with nothing happening but once it started it was relatively quick and so so worth it.
She is tiny 6lb 12oz looks like a little doll.

Awww huge congratulations @Wineandchoccy so happy for you!! Love her name I'm sure your dd1 is delighted too 💖 Glad it went well for birth x

Massive congratulations @Wineandchoccy. Xx

Thank you everyone for your comments. Yeah @HidCat surely this experience should be an improvement!!

@Sictransitgloria maybe make a compromise to labour in the pool but get out to deliver the baby?

@Assumeitwassomethingclever such a stress for you at this time he's terrible! Really hope this calms down very soon for you.

@cardboard33 yes the birth preferences made me cringe a little but does help with ideas how you can advocate for yourself even verbally.

I have to say Delivery Suite was very calm quiet dimmed lighting I didn't mind it at all. The MLU nearest me is 40 miles away so you don't have expectations with no choice lol.