The March-ers 2019 - #9 Meet the Babies

[Angelmiracle]

Thread 9 wow 🤗

All being well a lot more birth announcements this thread 👣🍼🤰🏿🤰🤰🏾🤰🏼

Check-in mamas ✔

@badbadbeans my birth chat was similar so I’ve just printed out the one my hypnobirth course sent me and filled it out. Going to photocopy it and hand it out to all and sundry.

I’m sorry you’re feeling so anxious. X

Sorry you're struggling @badbadbeans. I had this realisation I don't remember using the facilities at the hospital last time... I must have done, but I genuinely don't remember!!!!
I vividly remember being told off for walking round with DS in my arms rather than his cot... I nearly flipped my lid and I will cry I think if they do it again this time. He was only going to settle close to me and it wasn't fair on the lady I shared a room with!

@BadBadBeans @SquirtlesMumAgain both those experiences don't sound very nice I'm sorry for you guys! super nervous incase I have to stay in after delivery, more so than the actual birth. Dread the ward, shared bathroom, being without DP etc.

Hope it is better for you both this time around xx

@Gronk27 my maternity notes have a 4 page Birth Preferences section you can fill in with plenty of examples. I would just like to discuss what the best choice would be for me this time following my first birth experience.

I know it's my decision at the end of the day but would like a professionals recommendations!

@Sictransitgloria I'm back with consultant next week at 36 weeks so will pin him down!! Or arrange with my own MW for a 37 week appointment. And yes I will see the consultant midwife at 38 weeks which I agree will still be beneficial just wish it was a little sooner!

@babycatcher411 thank you very much I will take you up on that!x

@Wineandchoccy I'm sure you're so tired hope you are able to rest before it all starts ☺

Thanks @BadBadBeans I think that might be useful- put down what options I prefer then if I get a chance to chat to someone it can be a swift discussion.

I'm with you on the bathroom issues - I had to hover to wee in a paper jug for measurement purposes following the spinal and with episiotomy not nice either!! And theres nowhere to set anything down on. Plus leaving the baby is really horrible your maternal instincts make you more paranoid or over cautious and I had images he'd be stolen if I didn't hurry and get out of the shower! I will have dettol wipes in front zip of my hospital bag and a toiletires bag with a strap to hang up.

@BadBadBeans the toiletry bag is definitely a sensible option. I remember being really confused about what I was supposed to do with DS when I went to the loo last time. Outside of visiting hours I ended up with the ward to myself so couldn't even ask another Mum to watch him. So far that's been my main worry for this one (assuming I end up on the ward again).

@Angelmiracle I would definitely make some notes re: birth plan to take with you to your next appointment. I did so even though we had planned to go through mine at last week's appointment (36wks).

Just a quick update-

Well, I did go into labour (thankfully not until we were back from the museum!) but I am stuck at 2cm dialated so they’ve sent me home to get some rest and see if things ramp up... although, there’s equally a chance it could stop all together... still contracting every few mins but they’re not strong enough to get him moving at the moment...

Hope you’re all doing okay.

Oh wow @Hermagsjesty you couldn't have predicted that better! I hope things get moving for you soon xx

@Hermagsjesty omg what a prediction! Hope all goes well for you and things continue to move along x

@Angelmiracle my appt went well thank you for asking. First doctor wanted to book me in this week for induction at 37+few days. She then went to speak to consultant and when she was out of the room I had a major panic. Just thinking that he wasn't ready and his movements had been fine the last few days so why was I being induced etc. Anyway the consultant said she was happy with the scan on Friday so didn't want to induce just yet and just to come back in if Im not happy with movements again.

I'm with you on the birth options chat worry. As I've been in and out of hospital my midwife told me I didn't need to see her. So now I haven't seen her since 34 weeks and next appt is next week at 37+5 so imagine we will do birth stuff then. Might have a Google before hand as have no clue!

@BadBadBeans sounds like baby is a good weight already I'm with you on the worry about toilet/bathroom situation. I already hover due to worry about germs and quite impressed I'm still managing it at 37 weeks almost. But yesterday at my hospital appt they wanted me to do a sample which I didn't expect. They normally give this quite big cardboard pots but got given a small plastic one. Trying to hover in that situation was horrid and the bottom of the pot ended up touching the toilet seat (which had already had a drop of something on there when I went in which I didn't want to touch but was ok as hovering). Got really stressed out and had to have another shower when I got home plus disinfect my phone, car keys and other bits I'd touched since the sample pot. I'm really worried about shared bathroom situation but like others suggestions of a hangable bag with some dettol wipes in. That's a great idea!

Does anyone feel a lot of hiccups from baby? I feel them quite a lot throughout the day and they kept me awake last night for over half an hour. Just wondering if a lot is normal or just baby practicing breathing etc?

Hiccups are perfectly normal. Remember DS having them but nothing this time, but she moves very differently to her brother.

Good luck @hermagsjesty. All that walking probably helped things start! Hope you don't have to go back too soon and get some rest!

@melissa112 glad you’re happy with the induction decision. Mine had hiccups in the night the other night and kept me awake too. Think from what people have said it’s very common. There’s a birth plan template on the NHS website.

@angelmiracle good plan then to have some thoughts written down so you can discuss it when the time comes. I wrote mine last night, it’s a blinkin essay!

@hermagsjesty check out those instincts! Hope you manage to relax and rest and things get moving.

@Hermagsjesty I hope you manage to get some rest and that baby makes their arrival soon!

@Gronk27 you might want to convert your essay into large bullet points.
The advice we were given last time was 1 side of a4 big enough that someone could read it at a glance otherwise they may not have chance to read it.

Glad the hiccups are normal. I've been feeling really emotional the past few days. I've barely slept for a week and being on maternity now is quite lonely. I finished a week ago and glad I did as the commute and work load was hard going but now I'm home alone and not in and out of hospital being monitored I just feel a bit meh and spent a good portion of this morning in tears and no idea why

Also randomly, the past two weeks I've really been craving milk. I have it in my porridge and already drank 2 pints of it this morning!

@squirtlesmumagain it is in sections and bullet point but think I’m going to type it out. I haven’t handwritten something for ages and my DH reckons you can’t read some of my writing.

@melissa112 I got very unsettled and tears when I finished work, I think it was because it all becomes a bit more real that your life is going to be a bit different in the months to come!

@melissa112 oh bless you. These last few weeks are bound to be the toughest as there are lots of changes in routine with going on mat leave, getting ready etc. Try to make the most of your time at home and do the things you might not have the opportunity to for a while after baby arrives. Most importantly, get as much sleep as you can. I know it's hard, I can't remember the last time I slept through the night so sleep (or good quality sleep anyway!) is such a distant memory for me.

Have you looked into joining NCT or looked at mum and baby groups in your area? This is something I will be doing when I go on maternity leave, as lots of my friends are based here, there and everywhere. I'll be out of the loop with my work friends who I do consider among my best friends as I've worked at the same company since I was 17 (I'm 34). So I'm going to be really proactive in looking into things I can do locally in Surrey and meeting other new mums.

I've drank ridiculous quantities of milk throughout this pregnancy! I have cereal every day for breakfast which is something I never did before. Definitely a pregnancy thing! I'm guessing body is craving the vitamin D and calcium.

Thanks for the sympathy guys. Feeling a bit better after reading your posts. @SquirtlesMumAgain that's horrid - I think the worst bit is being reprimanded. Nobody wants to feel like a naughty schoolgirl when they are trying to learn how to be a mum! I get that they have rules for a reason, but I think there are gentler ways of enforcing them.

@CaseofEllen I made a friend on my ward last time who I still see now! So there are benefits!

@Angelmiracle OMG dettol wipes - genius! Thank you thank you thank you. They will be going in my toiletries bag!

@Hermagjesty no way!!!! Good luck - hope things progress soon!

@melissa112 I'm glad the consultant is happy for now but that you are being kept an eye on. Yep I still hover too, mostly! If a seat has wee on it I tend to use a clump of toilet tissue and my non-wiping hand (!) to dry it off, then I feel okay about it. Totally get how you feel about the sample pot although I know it is fairly irrational. In that situation I think I would have made sure I didn't touch the bottom of the pot myself so I knew I couldn't have transferred germs anywhere, OR I would have given it a wipe over with a wet soapy tissue and then washed my hands. I've developed coping strategies to try to cut worries off before they snowball - so that I don't have to end up disinfecting everything. It is so hard! You would hate being in my house today by the way - I'm having a worktop fitted and the smell of the adhesive is horrendous. I am as far away as possible from it but I keep having to go in to answer questions they have. Once the men are done I am going to head out!
Regarding hiccups, yes I get them a lot and I had them with DS too. Yes i think it is to do with the diaphragm and practising breathing. I love them - I think they are so cute!

@melissa112 I spent half the weekend crying because DS was being difficult but don't know if he's really being that naughty or just I don't have the patience to deal with him at the moment so I'm making things out to be worse than they are. Either way, I kept crying and decided I'm a terrible mum and what will I do if he gets worse when baby is here, due to the disruption? Hormones and tiredness and boredom and loneliness are hard to deal with.
Also, I never really used to eat cereal or drink milk and the last few weeks I've been doing both quite a lot. As @ballanj said, I think it's probably that our bodies know what they need. Pretty clever.

@BadBadBeans sorry to hear how you're feeling. As we're getting nearer to due date, I'm starting to get nervous about how it's going to go. I feel like the birth last time wasn't that bad and don't feel like I have any rights to complain about it when others have it much worse. However the actual stay was stressful, especially once we moved to the ward. I'd had a catheter in after birth and the midwives had used a (can't think of the word) wad of stuff to stop bleeding. At about 11am they took the padding and catheter out and helped me to the toilet as I hadn't got up since the birth 24 hours earlier. I was moved to the ward a couple of hours later and no one really explained to me that I was now on my own - I was expected to walk to the bathroom, deal with maternity pads etc and wasn't prepared for how much blood there was. It just shocked me, my pad leaked, I got back to the bed and was suddenly inundated with people coming by (doing baby's checks, asking me about dinner and all sorts) and I just sat there crying for ages. Even thinking about it now makes me want to cry and I'm so scared of feeling like that again. It sounds quite silly written down but I spent ages after the birth feeling stressed and upset whenever I thought about those first few days. A private room sounds like it might be a good idea, I know you can get them at my hospital but I don't think there's many so don't know what happens if they're occupied.
I'm sorry that you can't get a private room (and for hijacking this!) - I think the staff can forget how sensitive you can feel with a newborn and don't necessarily help with anxiety. I had lovely midwives on the labour ward and some pretty abrupt and unhelpful ones on the ward 😞
I thought it might be cathartic writing this down but think I've just upset myself now...

@Gronk27 thanks, I think you're right. It's all a bit overwhelming isn't it.

@ballanj glad I'm not alone with the milk drinking. I gave my mum a call and she said she was the same! Thanks for the tips about NCT and other groups. I do think there is one nearby as I almost went to.the classes but left it too long and they got booked up. Even the dog is out of sorts with the change in routine. She's a stickler for a routine and as she's not being dropped off anywhere now I'm not at work she's stuck at home with me all day until DP comes home to walk her. No matter how much I try and play with her she just lies and stares at me (see pic for current situation 🤣). When are you finishing for maternity?

@BadBadBeans ahh wish I'd thought to clean the bottom of it with some tissue! I tried to tell myself not to disinfect everything and not to shower again but it just took over. I'm still doing the online anxiety course and I really do need to put the stuff into practice in real life situations. Sometimes it helps to ask how my partner would react in the same situation. He doesn't care about anything like that so wouldn't have given it a second thought.

Oh Haha if I was in your house I'd be posting on here about the smells, you know me so well already although not being in that situation myself I can honestly say I think you'll be fine! Can you pop open a couple of windows to get a cross breeze?

All the best @Hermagsjesty!!

@Gronk27 the hypnobirthing sample one really is an essay it's like story telling - I don't know how delivery suite midwives could absorb all of that!

@BadBadBeans you are very welcome 😊 I hot desk a lot at work and always keep a packet in my laptop bag!

@melissa112 your pup is gorgeous 😍 Glad your apptm was good and you went with your instincts re induction! Hope he comes on his own.
When I went on matleave with DS I was in tears the next day - a surreal mix of why was I stopping work for a year? The thought of birth, did I have everything for a baby?! So it's very normal. Hormones and lack of sleep don't help but it does settle. I ended up out for lunch a lot with friends and family I don't regularly see. Maybe you could arrange lunch with someone?

@melissa112 sorry to see you're feeling a bit down today! I think it's all pretty normal at this stage, I had a good old cry to an episode of Friends last night. Poor DP looked up from his book to see me sobbing and exclaiming 'I'm going for a bath and then to bed with chocolate!' at 8pm also, your dog!! ❤️ I have a GSD too and agree that it's hard to keep them occupied when you're home alone with them will attach a picture of my girl xx

I agree with the milk cravings! Sat in Sainsbury's car park drinking a litre of banana milk earlier. Thanks for the reassurance about the hospital wards!

I have no idea what I want for the birth, I've got my 36 week MW appointment Thursday and am dreading it as she said to take some notes down but I just don't know! I keep talking to DP about it but feel like I'm going round in circles..

Xx

@Jenfur I was in such shock after DS birth when they pushed me in the bed over to postnatal ward I was in floods of tears. Not one person asked are you ok or offered a tissue. I had to ask for one and got handed a rough paper towel. DH DM and my sister were all at hospital until I had him so they'd all left me by this point- that will not be happening this time!!

It wasn't until I got there did I even realise I'd a catheter in 😫 Was there all of 15 mins and they came in told us they were doing a deep clean in that bay to leave our beds and pick the babies up to go to the next bay with new beds and cots. 4 of them stood around me not knowing what to do with me!! The spinal hadn't worn off, catheter in, a changing mat below me for bleeding- so they brought a new bed in and dragged me across onto it - absolutely mortifying and less than 2hrs after delivering DS still in shock, it was really horrible I can totally sympathise!! Next day paediatrician tells me when Im on my own that DS had a heart murmur and dimple at base of his spine sent me into another tear filled panic! After 8 weeks and a few checks etc he was signed off ok.

@melissa112 oh bless your dog she's gorgeous! Animals really do sense change. I remember one of my sister's cats, who wouldn't ever sit on her lap, sat on her and wouldn't move all night and that night she went into labour at 34 weeks. I've been too scared to go round there since I hit 34 weeks but I'll be there this weekend for my baby shower. Figuring at 37 weeks should she sit on my lap I'll at least be full term 😂

Definitely look into the NCT, I know people who have made friends for life by joining. Obviously too late for antenatal courses but they run lots of other events that might be of interest.

My final working day is next Thursday. Although I have a midday appointment with the midwife so I'll only have around 3 hours in the office that day. Last full working day is next Wednesday. So I'll be 38 weeks when I leave. I'm very ready to go but at the same time anticipating the change in routine and lack of people around me day to day!

@Angelmiracle that sounds awful! I guess midwives are used to new mums being teary with hormones so maybe they almost don't notice it?! Really unhelpful with the catheter and having to move you situation, there are just little things that could be done to make you feel better with everything at the time. Fingers crossed we all have a better experience this time around.

@angelmiracle you poor thing, that sounds like an awful experience

I had my consultants appt. she said she was very sorry but I should not have been referred to her as my BMI doesnt actually meet their threshold of 40. She was happy with the minimal weight gain, BP, urine etc. Said I looked well. BUT she said I am only allowed (her words) to birth on a labour ward. Not allowed midwifery led as bmi is over 35 and first baby 😬 is this right? I thought they could advise but not have the authority over it? I feel a bit sad about having my baby on the labour ward but I guess that is what I will have to do.