The March-ers 2019 - #8 3rd Trimester

[Angelmiracle]

Thread 8!

Things are ramping up now mamas.

Get your hospital bags at the ready
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Thread 7 link:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3414226-The-March-ers-2019-7?pg=1&order=

@squirtlesmumagain Liking Closet London and lots of sale items too!

Use the tags to filter the posts @Gronk27 - they have an occasion dresses one I think it is. Obviously it is a case of then trawling a bit but it is useful at points!

@Gronk27 I went to a wedding when DS was about 10 months old (I fed him till 17 months) and rather cavalierly wore an ordinary smart dress, assuming there would be a small room somewhere that I would be able to feed him (it was a stately home type venue). There wasn't! I ended up having to sit at the top of some stairs with my dress undone and folded down to the waist, hoping nobody would come by. Only one person did :D It was not the most comfortable experience but it was quite funny. By the way, how long did it take for your MA approval to come through? I seem to remember it being reasonably quick?

I'm now alternating vivid dreams of giving birth with vivid dreams of getting my genetic test results back. I am feeling a little bit emotionally unstable! More than anything today I just want my mum to give me a cuddle, which is funny really as she's been gone for such a long time now that I mostly stopped feeling like that years ago! I rather childishly burst into tears over breakfast this morning as people were giving 'constructive' comments on how I could improve the pancakes I was cooking. DS said, 'Mummy would you like a cuddle?', love him and squeeze him. Kids are ace.

Starting to think about going back to work as well. DH will likely be made redundant just after my maternity leave finishes, so that will put a lot of pressure on me to find enough freelance work to keep us afloat. I am sure I can do it, but if I do turn out to have the BRCA fault then I would be looking at surgery a handful of months later, which is a bit scary financially as I suppose as a freelancer I won't be entitled to any money while I recover. Trying really hard not to cross bridges before I come to them but it's so natural to me to think through all eventualities so that I feel prepared!

I've been wearing a tubigrip the last few days to try to help with the PGP. I think it is helping a bit. I can't face spending a load of money on a support belt when I have so few weeks to go now!

I finished on annual leave on Friday, and tomorrow's plan is getting all clothes etc washed and then packing my hospital bag. For the people who've done this already.....what did you wash everything with? I'm allergic to most non-bio detergents, and the one I've found works best for me is Surf, but am I okay to wash babies stuff with Surf or do I have to use non bio?

I personally would go for the gentlest cleaning stuff you can - baby skin is very sensitive.

Sorry it's all a bit stressful @badbadbeans. Hope the redundancy doesn't happen - can he look for something in advance so he knows what is around. Only worth staying if he is going to get a redundancy package, you don't need the stress.
My MA came through in about 3 weeks, but then wanted me to pay some Nics for 2019-20, which I have now done so waiting for them to come back with a reviewed value (only awarded about £40 a week initially but my actual self employed income wasn't a lot)

Weddings with babies are so difficult! I'm a bridesmaid on 18th May and brought dress when I was 4 months pregnant, I brought a big size so we can take it in but now I'm worried I won't fit in it at all! 😬

Does anyone know if you can have one random contraction and then it all stops? I'm 99% sure I had one today, it was totally different to any BHs or pain I've had so far. It was a period pain which turned into a whole stomach pain and tightening, like a wave up my belly 🤔 sorry for TMI but I've been abnormally wet down there today too, soaked through my knickers.

Hope you are all feeling okay tonight! Positive thoughts coming your way xx

@BadBadBeans what clothes size are you? (If you don’t mind me asking). I’ve got a basic support belt you can have if you want, I bought it ages ago and just can’t get on with it. It’s a 14-16 size. It’s just wasting away in the cupboard.

@CaseofEllen I’ve been having what feel like occasional random contractions. Sometimes 1 on its own, and sometimes a few over maybe an hour. And then nothing for maybe a day or so.

Using pads all the time for discharge m, but just keep a close eye to make sure your happy it’s not your waters leaking slowly.

@BadBadBeans if you need the surgery you can apply for employment and support allowance I think, possibly universal credit, It gives you a small income until you can get back to work. www.gov.uk/employment-support-allowance

@WhatALearningCurve you could use your normal detergent and then do an extra rinse to be cautious.

@CaseofEllen it's always possible but I'd be more concerned about the leakage! Get a pad on so you can keep an eye on things but you could be leaking fluid, I'd call your midwife to ask for advice but they might want to check you over.

We put the cot up today! It's so weird seeing it in our room 😬

@WhatALearningCurve we use non-bio Ecover for everything, so I'm not much help there. However, I do seem to remember pre-washing the newborn stuff just in water last time - no detergent at all. This time round I just used the teeniest bit of Ecover.

@SquirtlesMumAgain thanks. We will just cope with whatever happens, obviously, but I hate not knowing what is going to happen! He can of course keep an eye out for stuff but he really loves his current job and I know he will want to see it through till the end... Cripes, they wanted you to pay for 2019-20?! You don't mean 2018-19? I'm paid up until 2017-18, but nothing further than that as obviously the 18/19 tax return isn't due till next Jan. I really should have submitted mine earlier - unless they come back to me early like they did with ou, I think I'll be running right up against my C-section date before I get a response!

@CaseofEllen oo I don't know. Could that have been your waters breaking? How many weeks are you? I think you are supposed to put on a pad to catch any more 'leakage' so that you can tell if it's wee or waters. There's a good page here: www.thh.nhs.uk/services/women_babies/signs.php You might want to ringe triage and see what they say?

I just fell asleep sitting next to DS's bed waiting for him to go to sleep! Absolutely zapped at the moment. I'm now in bed myself; going to curl up with the last ep of Les Mis on iplayer and some knitting.

@babycatcher411 that is really sweet of you! Unfortunately I'm a size 8, but I really appreciate the thought!

@HidCat thank you very much for that info. I shall look into that. Ooo it's lovely when you have the cot set up, isn't it?! I have the Moses basket up in our room now and it just looks so sweet.

Haha it’ll go twice round then, twice the support 😉😂

@badbadbeans yep definitely this year - was 6th April 2019 - 7th July 2019. It specifically said about noting that the tax return is correct when I file the next one (was only £38 so not too bad, but still annoying!) I presume it was because I earnt so little or something. I was employed in the last financial year (made redundant on 31st Dec 18) so may have had some affect too as that was a very small income too. Probably just confused all the systems!

@badbadbeans yeah I defo think something accessible would be better!

I thought I’d do a timeline for you-

Approx. 9th Jan-sent form (I asked for it to start in either the 1st or 4th Feb can’t remember now!)
11th Jan-Text to say application received it would take up to 6 weeks
24th Jan-Phone call to check how often I want it paid-2 weeks or 4 weeks as my form confused them
26th Jan letter telling me I got the full amount (£145.18)
1st Feb First random payment of £20.74 just for that day (not sure why!)
15th Feb-Will get first full payment (two weeks worth)

I earn enough to pay tax and have been paying NI.

Sorry to hear about all your uncertainty and I am certainly guilty of doing this as well but maybe try to think one thing at a time and crossing bridges as and when, if you can? Do you know of any industry busaries, advisory services, unions, etc? CAB? This may be no help just thinking out loud.

Lost a good chunk of plug tonight, so pad is on the bed and wearing one too. Likely to just be a false alarm but not risking being under prepped!

Ohh exciting @SquirtlesMumAgain how funny if we managed to give birth on the same day again

My back is killing tonight I can’t get comfy.

5 more days to work, 14 days until my due date 😬

Thanks for all your replies! I rang delivery suite as I really wasn't happy with movements and have been on monitor. He is still moving and I did feel him a bit more so that's reassuring! Had some protein and blood in urine so that's being sent off to see if I have an infection (could be the cause of some of the cramping). Also had a speculum to see if waters had broke and they haven't but it did really bloody hurt and having a bit of spotting now, doctor said it's normal. Such a worry with these little ones, can't wait to be able to actually see him and not just rely on my perception of movements!

I use a scarf to support my bump 😂 by the time I needed it I felt like it was too late to buy a support band so DP folds a scarf in half and then wraps around me and ties with hair bobbles. He's very good at it as you can't tell it's under clothes and does give a good amount of support!

Glad some of you have heard back about your MA. I'm still waiting to hear back from mine, feel worried I won't hear until babies here if he comes around 37/38 weeks but I did leave it a little late to send off, wasn't organised enough

Hope you all manage to get some sleep x

It would be funny @wineandchoccy and but definitely unlikely!

Pretty good night here, I managed to not have to get up for the loo so taking it as a win!!!

Sounds like things might be happening for some of you... Exciting!!

I've still got 5 weeks of work left as am working until 39 weeks if all goes well... So baby feels very far into the future even though we're nearly done with NCT, got pretty much everything other than random things thàt are on order like the car seat, went on a hospital tour over the weekend and washed all of the new born clothes last night. I'm still waiting for the point where I feel really pregnant, as don't really at this point but then I am only 34 weeks so not expecting anything to happen yet. Do any of the other first timers still just feel like they're playing at it? Like going through all of the motions but you're just planning an event and then you're life will return to normal rather than this being the new normal?

Someone knocked my bump with their bag this morning when I was getting on the tube and my dear child kicked back awfully hard immediately. Obviously takes after it's mum rather than dad in that regard.

@gronk27 re self-employed maternity leave, did they contact you before the payments went in? I applied and got the letter back saying I’d get the £145.18 with a form to fill in when I stopped work. I stopped work on 2 Feb and sent the form back telling them so, so am just wondering if I’ll get any more correspondence or if the payments will just start? I’ve also changed addresses since first applying and although I did notify them, I’m worried that’ll make it more likely for things to go awry!

@hermagsjesty I stopped work on the 30th Jan so I would have already stopped either before or whilst they processed everything, my letter told me how much and when I would be paid. The 15th can’t come soon enough! You get paid on Fridays so maybe keep an eye out. I was surprised at how quick they did process it in the end. There are numbers on my letter so assume they’ll be on yours-worth giving them a ring?

@cardboard33 things hit home for me when I stopped working so you might just be more distracted by ‘normal life’? I also felt a shift at 35 weeks to feeling very pregnant, lots of symptoms returned and knowing I have my 36 weeks appointment, birth plan, etc and need to pack my bag etc.

Thanks @gronk27 I’ll keep an eye out this Friday and give them a call if nothing comes in! Have got money saved but still starting to feel a bit nervy at seeing all the minuses coming out my account and nothing going in!!

@hermagsjesty I know it’s a horrible feeling, just had to borrow £40 from OH to cover some DDs going out today. Ugh!

Also child benefit is an absolute nightmare! So over complicated.