February 2019 babies. The third trimester: it's all starting to feel very real now!

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Here we are again ladies with another new thread..... maybe some of these babies may make an appearance on this one!

@Since2016. My role doesn’t really allow me to go back in January - sales related so they want a colleague to take over asap in order to get off to a good start! Two weeks is scary especially as I am taking a few weeks holiday and then maternity leave for 52 weeks! It’s my first baby as well so really don’t know what to expect 😬

@powkin I'm another one struggling to sleep. Have bad reflux too and a really annoying cough which is worse when I lie down. End up coughing up acid Was wide awake until 2 and then DS woke me at 6... tired today.

@detachablehoof don't feel guilty if you feel uncomfortable about breastfeeding. It is such a personal thing. I intended to with DS but struggled massively and switched to formula by 6 weeks. I felt a huge amount of guilt at the time but I honestly think if I'd tried to carry on it would have had a huge negative effect on my mental health. This time I intend to give it a go but won't hesitate to switch to formula this time. Yes we all know breast is best but so is walking 10k steps a day, eating 5 logs of fruit and veg, avoiding alcohol and chocolate!! You have to do what's right for your family at the time x

Re water births, I was really eager to have one with DD, then when I got to hospital in full blown Labour I was offered the pool and couldn't have thought of anything worse haha! So keeping an open mind this time.

I think I'm gonna try breastfeeding but not pressuring myself, I'm looking into combination feeding as I found it took a good 5 days for my milk to properly come in, by that time I'd put dd on formula as she was starving, but in hindsight I wish I'd just put her on me once my milk came in as I could've tried doing both. I'm not really sure, I was really desperate to just go home once I'd had her, maybe if I'd taken some of the support that was offered we would've got off to a more positive start feeding wise. That said, she was happy as Larry on formula and is very healthy x

@powkin that sounds like an almost impossible situation for you. Do you have EDS? I remember someone mentioning it ages ago. What about a spinal block if you need a section or is that likely to have the same issues?
@detachablehoof it's such a personal thing. If you don't want to bf then don't do it (easy to say I know). Be prepared that there may be some people who will try to convince you otherwise. At the end of the day, your baby will be fed and you need to be happy and healthy too. I wanted to bf dd but didn't manage to. I had one v negative comment from an old lady which massively beat me up (I was already doing that to myself and didn't need her help). Everybody else was lovely and more interested in a baby than how she was fed.
@Lookingforadvice123 I had a water birth last time and really liked it. I don't remember the water turning red. There's was some blood but I didn't feel manky and had a shower about an hour or so later anyway. I did tear a bit but at worst the water was pale pink.

@detachablehoof - I don't want to either. I tried with my first and personally, I hated it. X

With the birth plan what kind of things are we writing? Do I get told this in antenatal.

Personally I just want to go with the flow! If I need something I'll ask for it.

@detachablehoof yes it’s difficult. I called emergency MW once before but she said then it’s early (about 24w) so not to worry but when I told my local MW this she was shocked and said to insist on being seen if I was worried about movements

I’m thinking about birth plans etc and wondering when we discuss this with MW? Presumably the discuss options with us some time soon

I don’t really know what I want as tbiebis my first time so maybe need to research more but there is so much info online that I don’t want to just blindly google everything

I must admit that I haven’t written a birth plan @babyp160. I don’t think I will either as I’m happy to be guided on the day in terms of what is best for baby and I. It’s also my first so don’t know what to expect! The only thing I’m worried about is diamorphine (?) as I don’t feel comfortable that it can impact baby. So if I need more than gas and air then my second choice would be epidural!

I haven't really thought about birth plan at all, was assuming I'd be prompted to write it at some point? I'm 32 wks today so guess I should start thinking about it 😂

@lanalawr yes I do. A spinal block might work better, I’m not sure! My mum never went into labour even following induction (EDS not on her side) so both times were c sections. She said she was terrified of childbirth so thinks her body just refused! Not very helpful in terms of experience, and it was so long ago too. The anaesthetist did put me at least a bit in terms of how they test it’s working, but my preference will be vaginal birth and opioid based pain relief!

@babyp160 sounds like you've got your birth plan mostly done! Mine was a bit like that last time but also included that I didn't want an episiotomy unless a tear would be really bad, I'd like to be in the pool with no pain relief but would ask if I needed it, I wanted to avoid an epidural if possible and that if I was unable to ask for what I needed or answer questions they should ask dh.
@bubblybrit that's something you can put in your plan. They're more of a guide anyway because you never know what's going to happen even if it's not your first.
If you look on the nhs website there's a form you can go through with basic questions to help you put a plan together. It's usually best not to have a concrete plan of the ideal birth in your head anyway but more ideas of what you want/don't want/are willing to try/not willing to try. I'll see if I can find the link.

@powkin fingers crossed you won't need the anaesthetics then! What if you need stitches after a vaginal birth? I had a local which worked on muscle but not so well on skin so felt those ones. They did give me gas and air too if I wanted it.

Here's a link for the birth plan page. If you scroll down you can download a template with a tick list of some things.

Helps to put the link in...
www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/how-to-make-birth-plan/

@lanalawr - the obstetritian said they could potentially put me to sleep after the birth to do any running repairs! It’s just whether they continue to listen to me... I have another appointment with the obstetrician in January I think.

NCT classes will talk you through options. Otherwise nhs antenatal classes. If doing neither then I’d google the difference between labour ward and birthing centre.

I wanted a fully natural birth, water etc. My advice would be not to get too hung up on what you do and don’t want. I had diamorphine on day 3 of labour as I hadn’t slept and was out of my head with the contractions. It was fine.

Hard though as I am a planner and the idea of going with the flow doesn’t come naturally to me so I sympathise!

@bubblybrit ah but that’s good you have a hard deadline! My boss has asked me to
Think about coming back in Jan for a bit / I think she’s encouraged that I look a lot better this time - no swelling or anything like I had with DD at this point. I’m feeling better too despite back issues I’m just tired although I wonder what’s least tiring.. my commute or my toddler 😂

detachablehoof don't feel guilty, and don't put pressure on yourself, it's not worth it. The breastfeeding rates in the UK aren't great and there's a reason (or several!) for that - culture, convenience (these days we have perfect prep machines, ready made formula, electric sterilisers etc), lifestyle, support (or lack of). Who knows.

I BF DS until he was 1 month exactly and hated it. He was having one or two bottles of formula a day from 2 or 3 weeks old so it was a fairly easy transition, but I agonised over my decision to stop completely, but once I did I was SO much happier and able to actually enjoy my baby. He also slept better (obviously not a guarantee) and I did too as DH and I were able to split the night feeds fairly.

This time round I'm going in with an open mind. I'd like to do it for the same length of time as a minimum, but if I can do it for a bit longer, say 6 or 8 weeks, I'll be really happy. I never had plans to BF for the full year even if I'd taken to it, so any length of extra time will be a bonus for me. I'm also keen to try combi feeding as an option, as I have one friend who didn't manage to BF her first longer than a couple of weeks, but got to 9 months with her second just giving him one bottle of formula a day.

And yes breast is best. But I know mums who breastfed but give their kids way more TV / junk food than I personally would choose to, which arguably counteracts the benefits. It's all relative!

I'm not finishing work until 30th January which sounds like a long time, but it really isn't! I was off all last week with a virus/sinusitis, I'm in this week and then Tuesday next week, then I'm off for 2 weeks for Christmas it's then only 4 weeks exactly until I finish once I go back, the timing is actually really good as even though I'm only 29+5 and not finishing until 37 weeks, it's only 5 weeks in work.

I just did my birth plan the other day.

Aside from the 'going with the flow' when necessary part, I included stuff about how DP and I would prefer to be left alone whenever possible while I'm labouring, that he doesn't want to cut the cord, that we want the vitamin K injection for the baby, my chosen method for birthing placenta.

I also wrote my preferences for pain control (I'm keen to avoid an epidural for various reasons) so have asked that I be reminded by the midwives of the other pain control methods open to me (pool, Tens, breathing exercises, changing positions) before I opt for one.

Also some stuff about how I want to give birth (not lying down, preferably on birth stool or on all fours, but mainly just not on my back) and also how I would prefer not be coached to push unless not making progress

It's probably more helpful for me and DP for reference really and I shared it with him so he knows what my wishes are in case I need him to advocate for me.

Thanks @lanalawr. That’s really helpful. I’ll have a look at the link properly once I get home from work as no doubt there will be questions that I’ve never even thought about!

I think maternity leave before baby is born has a completely different meaning when you already have DC @Since2016! Just make sure that you are doing the right thing for you rather than your employer! My friend worked longer than she wanted to with her first DC. Made herself really ill and didn’t get any thanks from her boss!

@Lookingforadvice123 I'm glad I'm not the only one working all of January! My last working day is 31st when I'll be 38+6. Hope I'm not being too crazy with that. I finished at 38 with dd and that was fine but I'm massive this time and the train is definitely not as nice as the bus for space!

bubblybrit haha yes it's definitely not going to be the same as my lazy mornings in bed watching old TOWIE episodes

DS is in pre-school 4 mornings a week from January though, and nursery all day once a week, so at least I'll get some me time. Still means I have to get up early on the days he's in pre-school though, to get us both dressed, breakfasted and at ore-school for 9!

You can change your maternity with 28 days notice anyone concerned.

I've just changed mine, finish 18th January

Thanks - not putting any pressure on myself just anxious about getting stuff done. I’m adopting a ‘if I get back it’ll be a bonus’ approach.

DD will be staying in nursery two full days until April then doing two half days for the duration of my mat leave to keep her place and her routine. Oh and to give me a rest 😂 I’ve told DH he has to get her there though.... we’ll see how that goes!

Yes I can imagine it’ll be v different this time round... going to have to find all the groups weds-fri to get us out of the house and entertaining DD! Our local NCT branch is V active though with coffee mornings and park walks each week which is always a great fall back.