February 2019 babies. The third trimester: it's all starting to feel very real now!

[maxiflump1]

Here we are again ladies with another new thread..... maybe some of these babies may make an appearance on this one!

I'm finishing work at 38 weeks I was wanting to get to 39 weeks but got some raised eyebrows in the office especially from the guy that has to do the risk assessments!

Had to have a money chat with DH tonight about maternity leave he's definitely an ostrich whilst I'm a panicker/planner and want to know exactly!

I'm lucky that mat pay is 6 months full but after that it's stat for 3 months and then nothing. As the bigger earner it was adding to my stress the thought of no very little/no income.

Thankfully no issues with him using part of his savings rather than just what I save in the 6 months. In his words he hadn't thought of about it as it was a long way off whilst I have been sat stressing despite knowing I save 2/3 of my income (we live very cheaply!)

Wow we talk alot😂 just skimmed through the messages....
Cant recommend the water enough! Really helped with pain. Ovbiously theres a lot of reasons you cant get in the water so only certain percent of woman end up doing it!
Birth plan i think is a load of pants and i told my midwife that so she sais we will pass on that one then😂
Breastfeeding yesssss i want to try again! Im so suprised i done it last time until DD got teeth but was the best decision ever and to add to it i lost so much weight..dont no about it this time as i was still a child myself back then as my mum would say so snapped back after 3 days...a lady can dream!
What is a bump bandit???

So many messages already!! I'm also hoping to breastfeed for the bonding and weight loss. Hoping I can express a bit as getting DH to do some feeds would be really good. Can't believe I'm already 32 weeks. @Camsie30 seeing your preferences could be really handy, I'm also using hypnobirthing but may be a little bit different as I'm accepting I may have an induction and don't think I will be allowed water, hopefully will know more after the 19th though. I would definitely prefer to ask for pain relief rather than being offered. I thought there was no point in a plan as it's so likely to change but looking at the ideas it's helpful to at least think about things and I want to make DH and I are on the same page so he can answer questions if I can't.

If I take my 20 days annual leave immediately before my due date my last day would be 11 Jan when I’m 36 weeks but that feels too early so I plan to work short weeks after Christmas 3-4 days(ish) until maybe 38 weeks or later but I’ll see how it goes. I’d rather have time when baby is here and I worry if baby comes late I’ll just be sitting at home bored for weeks...

Oh and I am looking up this bump bandit!

@emalady that's what I used my plan for last time. It was to be a bit more aware of things I would be likely to be asked/consent for and so that dh and I both knew each other's feelings about things. It's important to me that he also feels comfortable with the decisions so he could support me. The midwives looked at it when we got to the hospital but there was nothing unusual in there so it was easy. As it turned out I ignored dh and the midwives until after dd was born because I just went into myself and got on with it. I'd have considered a home birth last time but dh wasn't comfortable so went to the MLU instead. I thought about it this time but it was more important to me that dd could stay at home rather than stay elsewhere overnight and then come back to a new baby in the house.

Just had a long email from my dad about all HIS opinions on how I should give birth (that I should have a c section, no vaginal birth, how they shouldn’t let me go full term, that I shouldn’t have a general, that it should only be consultants, it goes on and on) and that apparently my mum told him I want him there? WTAF. I’ve literally never said that. My mum clearly doesn’t want to be there so she keeps pushing that my dad should be (he was a nurse a long time ago).

Just burst into tears. My parents are so overbearing. I wish I could have a conversation with my mum that’s just ‘I’m anxious about the birth’, ie LIKE EVERYONE. They want to fix everything all the time and it’s exhausting. If I then tell them to back off I’m being ungrateful because they care and are trying to help etc etc.

I didn't have a birth plan with dd and won't really again, but I think I'll make a list of certain things like consenting to vitamin k, delayed cord clamping, injection for birthing placenta, accepting any pain relief except epidural, and to be encouraged to move position to what they think will help. These were all questions I was asked in the swing of things, and I got a bit overwhelmed at times with it all as I was in my own bubble

@powkin i don't blame you for feeling upset, sometimes people think they're doing the best to help us but in fact are doing the opposite. Try and just let it go over your head as hard as it is at times x

@powkin I'd be furious personally. Your birth is no one's business other than yours. Stay strong xxx

I agree with Camsie.... if that were my dad he’d get laughed at and told firmly to piss off!

Thanks sickmumma that's really useful to know! Sorry to ask such a personal question but was your tear on the second birth in the same place as your epis? I sort of assumed they would do another epis if you've already had one.

I'm also in the no birth plan camp, I had preferences which were NO FORCEPS, the vit k injection, the injection to deliver the placenta straight away etc, but I think that was about it.

I don't know about BF and weight loss to be honest, it obviously burns calories but I think it's a bit like long distance running as you have to eat those calories back! I stopped at 4 weeks and the weight fell off me regardless. I'm not as hopeful this time round though as I'm 3 years older! Did anyone who didn't have a section find the belly bandit useful? I was so lucky last time, my stomach went back to being completely flat, no stretch marks and no loose skin. I know I won't be as lucky again, I should've stuck to one child!

Sorry me again, I always forget what I want to post (baby brain)!

Those who BF successfully first time round for a few months, do you have any tips? Is it really just so hard in the early weeks and you have to push through, for the long term gain? A friend was saying her baby cluster fed from 9pm - 5am I just couldn't cope with that.

@lookingforadvice123 Its definitely no walk in the park. Saw nipples, leaking, not knowing how much they have fed ect. I found it really hard i was only 18 but i just pushed through i would express a night feed before i put her too bed so i new she was getting enough and then just on the boob in the day. You have to sort of feed on demand with breast feeding and just trust your instinct. The midwife said to me a lot of ladies give up on day 2/3 before their milk actually comes in but if you bare with and grit your teeth once your milk does come in it gets 100% easier. I stopped at 5/6months as DD got her first tooth and i just personally think once they start eating its fine some people go on to do it until they can go on cows milk but you should ask your health visitor when she comes around for some help and tips they really helped me as i had no idea! X

Thank you Lulabell1! I didn't find any advice from the healthy visitor/midwife useful at all, I also went to the Bf workshop before he was born. I just found the whole month I did it for a struggle - blocked ducts constantly, he would only ever feed for a few minutes before falling asleep, was very slow to gain weight and no sleep all night. I know the first month must be harder than the rest, but I just don't know if I want it enough to push through, if that makes sense.

Fair play to you for doing it for so long when you were only 18!!!

Ready this made my nipples hurt 😂

I have a breastfeeding workshop on the nhs in January so hoping for guidance!

I meant reading this made my nipples hurt 🙈

My pregnancy massage was lovely. I think I'm going to book another for January!

We had fun with knitted boobs and odd-looking baby dolls at antenatal class today

Oh my god, I SO need a massage! My back has been killing this week! Can't wait for some time off x

I didn't breastfeed my daughter at all and really struggled to drop the weight and I'm hoping breastfeeding will help this time.

@Lookingforadvice123 a friend sent me this last time during week 4. It saved my sanity I think.

I found it to be true too. After 6 weeks my daughter was in a routine and sleeping 10-5 (until the 4 month sleep regression but that's another story).

I don't think I got any less sleep than formula feeding friends but the cluster feeding was hard going in the evenings- about 7-10 to get your supply up. I also think my daughter has been ill a lot less than other children, but there could be lots of factors that influence that and not just feeding.

@Lookingforadvice123

@avoidingmarketing that is so true i found after about 8/9weeks it was so easy and i couldnt think of anything worse than waking up and making a bottle/preparing bottlea for days out ect!

AvoidingMarking ah thanks that's cool!

Yeah I don't necessarily think FF babies sleep any better to be honest as I know plenty who didn't sleep well! But it's more that you can easily share the load, so even when DS was waking day every 3 hours for a feed, you could alternate so still get a really decent chunk of sleep. Also I guess the very nature of FF means you get into more of a routine naturally, which can also help babies sleep better long term. The cluster feeding used to make some so anxious, I hated it.

I'll see how I go, I would like to get to say 6 or 8 weeks, that'll feel like a big achievement for me as I managed 4 last time, but I won't beat myself up either way. Once he got over the initial nursery viruses, DS' immune system has been fantastic and he's hardly ever ill, and he really thrived on formula. He's naturally laid back lazy by nature and I think was never willing to put the effort into the boob that he needed to.

I couldn't breast feed my son because of his delivery and really beat myself up about it. It was the best decision to stop, made me much happier.

Personally, I found it very painful but would have liked to give it a go. I have decided I will try for the first feed although don't intend on carrying on after that. I'm having a section too and heard delays in getting your milk in is common.

To those who are not sure, my advice is to do what makes you happy. When I was in hospital the head midwife said something to me and it totally changed how I felt about it all, 'happy mum, happy baby' xx