The March-ers 2019 - #7

[Angelmiracle]

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Thread 6

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3379197-The-March-ers-2019-6

We haven't got anyone really to have DS overnight (well no-one has ever offered!) so guess we might get a day out but that's about it!

@Wineandchoccy my Phased Return to work will finish in 2 weeks and I also will maintain a 4 day week using annual leave through to when maternity starts.

I do not know how you ladies are coping working full time!! I done 3 days last week and doing 3 this week and so relieved to get 2days off I'm exhausted. Also find it agony sitting at the desk all day my hips and pelvis just feel like their burning constantly.

I just watched Emma Willis Delivering Babies on Wtv this evening at 8pm! Very emosh!!

@melissa112 I spend a lot of time on there too researching, as I've said I just find it really helpful to maintain control so hope you do too.

I'm finding time a little slow atm. It's now fairly obvious that I'm pregnant from the side so people are commenting more but in general I feel fine, other than sometimes more tired than normal. But that could also be the time of year. Does anyone else find Nov a bit of a drag as you don't want to get into Christmas, but the shops want you to, and then Dec goes by in a blur and it's mid Jan before you know it? I've also now got to the point on my app where it only gives me a new "your baby is similar in size to X" every 2-3 weeks which I think is also making the time drag as there's only so long you can read the same content!!

@angelmiracle tbh I have nothing to compare it to as have always worked full time so I'm thinking more "how the hell am I going to cope with not going to work" as opposed to anything else but I think this is something that all first time mums must feel, particularly if they really enjoy their job.

@angelmiracle I don't know how you're doing it part-time, tbh! I've been up to visit DH up North for a few days, and the awful bed there triggered my back/pelvis totally going, so now sitting still for even a few hours without being in pain seems unrealistic. I really hope this is a relaxin rush at 25 weeks and settles down again, otherwise I'll struggle to make it through another few months of this, I think.

@wordsmithereens yeah I'm getting the same, almost constant hip/pelvic/belly pain, got this for a couple of weeks at the beginning of the second trimester so just hoping it goes away again and this isn't it for the next 3 1/2 months!

@murphyrocks I had a spell of really bad pain very early on - 8 weeks or so? So yes, fingers crossed it's just an adjustment phase for both of us!

@wordsmithereens It started for me around the 13 week mark - achey but bearable hoped it was just stretching but progressively getting painful now. By 12pm at work my pelvis is in agony and no cushions or amount of walking about eases it until I get a sleep and I'm ok I'm morning.

Doing pregnancy Pilates tonight and have the teacher for a physio appointment on Friday so hoping for some tips.

I've been achy too, mainly in the morning when I wake up, the tops of my legs from pelvis to knee area just feels really achy. Had loads of different people at work come up to me today saying how much my bump had grown recently. Doesn't help that my button up blouses are starting to get very tight. Didn't realise today that my belly was poking out of one of the button holes when I was sat down

Is it sad that I have a countdown set up til I go on leave before maternity? 20 working days until I'm off for Christmas and 48 til I go on annual leave on 8th Feb.. no wonder time is going slow

@melissa112 Countdown sounds like the only way of getting through it! You crossing them off each day? I had someone tell me "you're getting big now" , followed by "oh I thought you'd say next month" when I revealed I was 25 weeks and due in March.

Guys. So very, very clueless.

@wordsmithereens I have a very sad little spreadsheet that has all my holidays on there and then I hit a button and it refreshes how long I've got left each time I go into it

Yes I've found that people are clueless when it comes to discussing things related to baby. Had a few people ask if he was planned which I just find odd!

@melissa112

"Did you have sex repeatedly to a schedule in order to make a baby, or were you just having having lots of dirty fun and got so drunk you forgot the condoms, wink wink, nudge nudge?"

@wordsmithereens haha brilliant!

@wordsmithereens I've found the comments tend to depend on whether they've got kids themselves/have close experience of pregnancy. People who have had kids tend to go "omg you're so small for 23 weeks, when I/my partner was that far along they were way bigger" and then people who are far away from having kids and still "students" in flatshares/living with their parents (welcome to London!) always comment on how big my bump is right now and I'm always like "well I assume it'll get bigger as I'm not even at the 3rd trimester yet..." ... Tbh bump feels like it went through a rapid growth stage for about a month but in the last week or so it hasn't got much bigger.

Haven't had anyone ask me if it was planned. I'm obviously just so obviously made for motherhood! Or alternatively they don't think I am and don't want to tell me.

Meant to say what I have realised is how clueless people who don't have kids are about weeks .... As I will say to people "I'm 23 weeks" when they ask how far and then they just look at me blankly as if they can't work out for themselves what they means in terms of when it's due/how long I have left. So then I say out of 40 weeks, I'm due in March... So over half way. And then they're like, so how many months?! What does that mean?!

I'm pretty sure that even before we were trying I knew "basic" things like maths and how many weeks a "standard" pregnancy was, you learn that in sex ed at school/life generally through the media... So it's really surprised me how clueless some of my colleagues are about this kind of thing when it's not like they're any different in age to me. Surely most people (women in particular) aged around 30 know this sort of thing?!

@cardboard33 yes I said to somebody yesterday I was 26 nearly 27 weeks and I got such a blank look and then I said 6 months and the reply was so how much longer??

@cardboard33 I haven't had anyone ask if it was planned yet either. I get the impression that everyone thinks it wasn't as I fell pregnant a few months before getting married. When we told MIL she waited until she had sent DH to the corner shop to say "I thought you'd have planned it better than this as you're usually so organised." There are some things you definitely don't say!!

I think the 9 month pregnancy thing is a bit of a problem too - people can't equate weeks to months (as it doesn't work!) and then you get to 9 months and they seem surprised baby hasn't been born yet!

We had a few people ask if it was planned, which took me aback a bit. I mean, would they like a blow-by-blow (no pun intended!!) account of my sex life?! The worst ones I found, though, were a few people who made comments along the lines of 'At last! I wondered when you two were going to get on with it, I thought there must be a problem or something!' which is both staggeringly insensitive and exceptionally rude, particularly as those comments always came from people we aren't close to/one person I've never even met. We've been married for 4.5 years and I was a month off my 22nd birthday when we got married. Excuse us if we wanted to enjoy the time together on our own for a while!!

With regards to bump clients, I seem to be going the other way at the moment. I definitely have a bump but it seems to be quite high, rather than a noticeable rounding of my stomach, so I basically just look like I jut outwards from the chest down, which makes me look overweight rather than noticeably pregnant most of the time. Yesterday someone said to me '"Oh, I wasn't sure if you were pregnant or just chubby." Very flattering!! I've had a few people tentatively offer congratulations, though, usually towards the end of the day when I look more 'bump-y', so I'm hoping the 'fat or pregnant?' looks will stop soon!

@toastfiend I've got the "ohhh well that explains why you've been putting weight on! I just thought you'd started letting yourself go after the wedding". My bump is very low and does just look like I've got a pouch of fat, especially as the day goes on. I just think a lot of the time people think they have to say something but have no idea what to say so insensitive comments come out like word vomit.
I'm with you on NEVER mentioning how long it's taken to get pregnant as people have no idea on each other's circumstances.

Why just why do people say such stupid things. I definitely look pregnant now. All anyone comments on with me is how big my bump is, there’s not been a lot of pregnancy around through so I am literally growing before people’s eyes, including my own. I did some NHS roleplay and a lady there who has children said as a joke ‘have you out on a bit of weight’ knowing I was to which I replied ‘yes I have actually!’ No one’s asked if it was planned but as I got pregnant straight after our wedding I suppose that’s textbook in many people’s outlook! Knowing some of what my friends are going through I always try to make sensible comments!!

I have my 24 week appointment next week although I’ll be 25. Has anyone else had theirs? Is it it measurements, BP, any blood tests?

@cardboard33 Yes, I've noticed that, too, the further away they are from the reality of having children, the more silly the comments in general. I think it just reflects people's general inability to look past their own limited sphere of experience, really, but mostly isn't intended to be nasty. The next month thing cracked me up, to be honest, as it was such a typical 'guy-who-has-no-clue-how-women-can-struggle-with-body-image-during-pregnancy' comment. It's a good thing I'm quite fond of bump.

@Gronk27 I had mine last week, she checked heartbeat, measured my bump (which, haha, is textbook size for 25 weeks apparently), asked how I was doing emotionally, and started process to book me in for Anti-D and extra bloods at 28 weeks. Dipstick, no BP in my case.

This week I’ve suddenly got a lot of “oh, you ARE pregnant, I though you’d just put on loads of weight” comments. Good to know everyone’s paying attention to exactly how far you are

I feel massive! But I had my 24wk check with the midwife yesterday and she said I had “very good abs for a third pregnancy” which I’m feeling incredibly smug about!!

@Wineandchoccy I told one of my A level students that I was 6 months along and he said "wow, so halfway through?"

I'm feeling so big in the last few weeks. I told sonographer baby always lies to left of my tummy I can feel a head or back down low there. But No! At the scan baby is lying breech to my right - feet at bladder and head making its way to ribs. Prob explains breathlessness a bit. Bump is very hard at the top and squishy to the bottom very odd shape.