February 2019 babies - onwards and almost the third trimester!

[Since2016]

New thread!

@powkin Babyzen yo-yo looks great for getting tube/bus etc. Folds up to hand luggage size so can also go in overhead lockers on a plane.

@powkin the bugaboo I got seems pretty light. 2bh though i’d say your best bet was to go into more stores and try as many as you can to find one that suits your specific needs. I personally don’t know how i’d manage a tube station without a lift either way, but people do often offer to help with prams etc. (I stood at Brixton waiting for someone when the lift was broken and plenty of people got help with prams, one guy in a wheelchair even got lifted up all the steps by a bunch of lads)

Also escalators are easy with pram - stairs not so much!

We went to the discount baby store and tried several to see what we liked before deciding. Not sure how I would cope having to carry it far though. Very grateful I have a car, especially as the public transport round here isn't great.

@Baby160P it's just a superstition.

I kept DDs pram ready and assembled at home before she was born. That way it was just there and ready.

Can I rant? Am i being unreasonable?

Iv come home from work today and I said whos car is that on the drive too DP he said mine with a big smile...I said are you joking? Its a convertible how are we putting a baby and a 5yo in that he said in your car!!! I have a 4x4 and iv kept it as when i found out i was pregnant i thought no point changing it now nice big boot and isofix!

Anyway he said im overreacting but this now means I have to drive everywhere we take a pram! Just feel like he could of atleast pre warned me.

I need to decide how superstitious I am lol

I thought count kicks were supposed to be done until 28 weeks + ?

@Lulabell1 You are not being unreasonable! He could have discussed that with you first!

@Baby160P I’m a bit superstitious but do not it’s silly and doesn’t really make a difference to anything (which is probably contradictory in itself). I actually made my first baby purchase a few days ago - the reusable nappies which were heavily discounted inn Amazon and I am going to start buying things as I see them. I was planning to wait til after Christmas but baby could come early and it’s a lot to do all at once while heavily pregnant!

If you are bothered about certain things in the house then see if a relative or friend can keep them for you but I think most people are not bothered these days...

It seems my pregnancy hormones and ranting have already gotten me into trouble. I have a friend who I thought seemed to be avoiding me and it turns out I upset her last time we met up because I was upset about my local hospital refusing to tell us the gender (which I think is a money making scam as they will if you pay). My friend - who is Asian - suggested it was based on the Asian population in the area and concerns about female feoticide. I said that it was a ridiculous policy if that was the case as anyone can just pay for a private gender scan and that I didn’t think it was a good enough reason to prevent me from finding out. Apparently what she took from our conversation is that I thought only Asian people shouldn’t be allowed to know - which is NOT what I think at all, I think everyone who wants to know should. Now she’s really upset with me, thinks I believe I deserve white privilege (and I guess thinks i’m racist though she didn’t actually say that). I have known my friend since i was at school but can’t see any way of undoing this no matter how much i’ve apologised and tried to clarify that wasn’t what I meant. As she’s my nearest and really only friend after moving back home I am now realising through my own stupid hormonal upset at being told I couldn’t find out the gender, that I have rendered myself totally locally friendless.

@Surprisedmom Presimably she’ll understand it was just a misunderstanding and that’s not what you meant if you explained that?

TBH I’m not sure it’s your hormones that were the problem if she thinks you said something you didn’t say! It’s must a misunderstanding. Hope you work it out

@Surprisedmom madness she has reacted like this. If she has known you for this long she should know you aren't racist and it wasn't aimed at her at all.

@surprisedmom it’s common policy for areas with a high proportion of Asian people to refuse to confirm the gender. Obviously people can pay for a private scan but the NHS will not want to be complicit in anyone making the decision to abort based on gender. So while I can empathise with your frustration - it’s not a ridiculous policy if that’s the local demographic and there are concerns. Re your friend - maybe it’s just a mixture of how you came across and her sensitivities? Hopefully she’ll calm down soon enough though!

It’s been well over a month since I saw her so I had mostly forgotten the conversation and just can’t imagine what I said that came across this way to her. I’ve apologise profusely and tried to explain myself but she’s just not replying to the two messages I sent. I dont want to harass her so will just leave it at that and hope she accepts that I didn’t mean what she thinks. Given that this only came out after she has given excuses not to see me at all for the next 6 weeks though, I think it was really just her way of explaining why she didn’t really want to see me again at all.

She didn't need to treat you like that but there are a few Areas is know where NHS won't tell you the gender. For some I know the reason is to keep staff focused on what the scan is actually for, checking the babies health and because it also puts pressure on staff. Imagine if they got it wrong?!

I can see why trusts might refuse to tell you the gender if they’re unsure or it’s something they have to actively spend time figuring out rather than being obvious (some people have mentioned this was their trust’s policy). My main frustration with my trust was that they would tell me if I paid for a second scan specifically to find out, which suggested to me it was just a way to make money and made clear that it wasn’t actually about gender based abortion since they couldn’t legally get away with refusing that service to certain groups of people as that would be blatant discrimination.

My NHS Trust doesn't tell you gender because they were sued a couple of years ago for getting it wrong!

@suprisedmom hope you manage to work things out. Are you doing NCT or antenatal classes? Hopefully you can make some new friends and feel a bit less isolated / take some of the pressure off the damaged friendship while it hopefully recovers.

Is anyone else struggling with work at the moment? I’m so tired that I can barely function. Probably as I am up every 2 hours for the toilet so sleep is very limited!

Had to take yesterday off as couldn’t find the energy to get out of bed. Heading to work now but already feel exhausted and that’s only the commute. I feel guilty for taking time off but could actually cry at the thought of working 😢

@bubblybrit Sounds difficult. I find some days worse than others. Have been a bit uncomfortable at night with back ache and stuff and I wake up in the middle of the night so this week I’ve been quite tired too.

Yesterday I had achey legs too plus I seem to have pelvic girdle pain so all my bottom half was aching yesterday! I really need to call the physio about that...

Don’t feel bad for taking time off if you need it

I hear the back ache, certainly worse at work (It's an office job but a lot of looking at a screen). I agree if you need the time off take it, you need to make sure you're feeling as good as you can. My boss yesterday actually told me I should milk it a bit and take a few days here and there - he said he would! Lol.

We’ve got a new starter and the partner I work under has told me to give everything to her and just make sure she’s trained up and not bother myself with too much work!

He isn’t my manager, my manager works in another office, but he is basically the most senior in this office (Leeds)

Oh how lovely to have flexibility - I suppose I could take time off but I have to start work at 7.30am (an hour commute) so would have to call in sick the night before for someone to cover.

Luckily since the first trimester is over, I am not really feeling that tired yet....give it time!

Definitely with you on the work struggle @bubblybrit I think I'm into my 3rd month of pregnancy insomnia so awake every night for between 2-4 hours.

I'm really stubborn and have my own casework so have been fighting through it rather than have to give stuff to colleagues. I have adjusted my hours slightly though so now working from home 1 day a week and finishing just after 4. I do my hours but don't build up flexi time.

Some days are worse than others, bad days I get a full strength Starbucks in the morning!

I’ve called in sick today, full of cold and I’m so breathless recently a blocked up nose just makes it 10x worse. I’m trying to be kinder to myself and think of the bigger picture! It’s hard though when your into your work and feel like your letting people down 🙁

@Baby160P im rediculously superstiticious but I also off laid this against the thought of venturing out fat and heavily pregnant over christmas and january sales. Plus I got such a bargain. Ive had my pram at home for a week or 2 now.
Figure I would rather be prepared.

@Surprisedmom I am sorry to hear your friend troubles. Sounds like shes completely missunderstood and heard something totally differant. Unfortunately one of those situations id be tempted to go along with her version and appologise. Swallow pride. Hard as im a stubborn person. But in those types of situations usually the other persons so adiment their version of story is correct. So no explaining with change their mind. Good luck

People who are saying about movements and kicks etc. Im 22w and already been on a fetal monitor last week. The midwife said whilst very unusual to be in a routine already its not unheard of. So ignore guidelines about weeks etc just go with what you feel. If you know your body and know their routine. Go off that. Better to get reassurance than worry you arent at x stage yet.

Id not felt baby move all day. Which for me hadnt happened before, but for others, it maybe really common , not to. As it happens I was distracted by pain. But they said they would never turn anyone away as they where not x ammount of weeks etc.