February 2019 babies - onwards and almost the third trimester!

[Since2016]

New thread!

@Notquiteagandt thank you. That's all really helpful! ❤️😃

Just wondered if anyone else has had pprom - ie leaking amniotic fluids? X

Just had blazing row with DH. Names. He wants to give baby his mother’s name as a second name. We’ve never discussed this, we always said we’d honour his (deceased) dad if we had a boy but never our mothers. For context they live v far away and it’s £££ for either us to go there or vice versa so we won’t go now till 2020 - they don’t come here.

I dislike the name. Hugely. It’s bland and not me at all. Seems v unfair to do for one grandmother and not the other but he says they live so far away it’s only fair. We also can’t agree on a first name - he hates my first choice.

Fed up. I feel like I’m going to get pushed into something I hate and then will have to deal with my side of the family questioning why we’ve chosen his mothers name.

@pushit - are you concerned it's happening to you? You OK?

I did have it right at the end of my first pregnancy but I was full term so got induced x

@Since2016 can you have 2 middle names that way there is no favouritism I have 2 middle names.

If not then I agree you can't do one without the other just because they are far away!

Have you tried using the Kinder app? You can link between the two of you and basically swipe left or right it let's you know when you both match on a name. We found it a good way to see what names we both liked without going around in circles!

Urgh that's tricky. We are using my partner's mother's name for middle name but she is dead (and died young, sadly, at only 49) so we felt we wanted to include her in our daughter's in some way. But that's a different situation to yours entirely.

I'm not sure the distance they live should have much relevance on whether to name a child after them, so I think your DH is being a bit unreasonable. I think really either both should be included or neither, and if you can't agree then that name just has to be vetoed. There have been names I like that DP doesn't and I've struck them off the list because we both need to be happy with what we name our daughter!

@twiglet I’m just upset that what we had originally planned for a name has gone out the window. I’ve suggested two middle names - he says that’s ridiculous. He doesn’t want to compromise at all. Our daughter has an unusual first name - country of heritage and a more English surname and a very obviously non English surname. I wanted a similar one for this one.

He misses his mum and family - we’ve not been there in over a year now - and he doesn’t cope well with it but i don’t see how this is an answer!

Not sure how to address the impasse. I don’t want to be forced into a name I hate.

Thanks @celebelly he keeps saying it will mean a lot to his mum etc etc even though I guarantee they’ll know I’d hate it. I’m tempted to tell her but he’ll go mad... I don’t want to feature my mums or dads names I’d agreed with going with his dads as a middle name for a boy but to agree to both feels a bit much.

Yeah it sounds like he's giving you a bit of a guilt trip! But if he's unwilling to compromise (such as the two middle names) then it's not really fair to expect you to. Maybe he's just got himself worked up about it and will be a bit more reasonable next time you talk about it when he has time to digest it. But definitely don't be pushed into something you don't want! xx

It’s now turned into “you hate going there, you don’t make any effort, you don’t understand how it feels to live so far away” etc. Sigh. Like I forced him to move here!

@celebelly possibly! He’s obviously got it into his head and is worked up about not being there and his mum not seeing the baby. Just don’t want to be guilted into something 🙁

@Since2016 let him calm down in the morning have a cup of tea and sympathetically say I know you miss them I understand that but this isn't going to resolve the issue and trying to force me into it isn't a healthy way for me to start to try to bond with our baby...... (I realise this is laying it on a bit thick but it might make him rethink the stubborness....)

Thanks @twiglet I think I’m going to leave it a few days. He’s thrown me a total curve ball with this I don’t know how to manage it. I’ve asked him if he’d consider my first choice (he’s not a fan) if id accept his mothers name as a second name - he says no. Not sure where to go next. He keeps saying I’m making all the decisions by insisting on a similar heritage name to our daughters - but anything else would be odd. V frustrated.

That's interesting @welshweasel - we have yellow bags too but they're only collected every other week. The week they aren't collected we're supposed to put them in with household waste. I wonder what they do here. How did you find out?

@Since2016 that's difficult. I don't know what to suggest other than time before discussing again. We have the same situation with the boys middle name being the name of my deceased fil. We've both finally agreed that it's not a name either of us would have chosen but it's still non-negotiable with dh. Is there any way your pil could visit when the baby is born? I agree that distance itself isn't a reason to use a name though.

@lanalawr yellow bags are always for incineration. Ours get collected every 2 weeks, which is a long time to keep stinky nappies for!

@welshweasel that's interesting. I wonder if I've misinterpreted our rules about the weeks they aren't collected. We've had to use the yellow bag for two weeks this time because we've had a clear out so lots more household waste and it stinks!

@pushit I am not sure if I am leaking amniotic fluid as it is hard to tell if urine/discharge, been happening over past week but I am going to be calling my midwife today as starting to get slightly worried just incase.

@Jenn12 I had it confirmed last week after getting a tiny trickle of pink waters. They have a test that confirms whether it's amniotic fluid. Defo get it checked as you need to be monitored for signs of labour and given antibiotics in case of infection. Really hope you don't!!
(How many weeks are you? They should also offer you a steroid shot to prepare baby's lungs in case they come early. Xx

@since2016 maybe he's struggling to feel involved and this is his way of feeling closer? I would give it a little while and try to get him involved in other ways. For my DH I said it was his decision whether we found out the sex or not. Just and example as I realise that one will be too late.
We are struggling with Boys names atm. So far we've got my pick for a girls middle name, DH's pick for a boys middle name and we're agreed on a first girls name. However us and pretty much everyone else are convinced it will be a boy.

@jenn12 definitely speak to your midwife ASAP as you really need to know if it is amniotic.

@welshweasel I've never heard of yellow bags for domestic use, will definitely have a look. Next door has a toddler and a baby so would have thought I'd have seen something if it existed around here.

Hyperemesis ladies wondering about meds have you looked at bumps? www.medicinesinpregnancy.org goes through the evidence pro and con for most different drugs in non medical language and is really helpful deciding if the risk is worth it.

Just back from hospital everything is all ok possible signs of UTI so just to drink plenty water and they will let me know in few days once get results back! Can relax now 😁

@pushit I am 23 weeks but the consultant didn't see any amniotic fluid thankfully

Just here for a rant really !!

My mum is driving me mental! I no this is horrible and I love her to pieces but atm I just can't deal with the stuff she is messaging me
She's on holiday and you'd think she wants to enjoy her time in the sun but oh no it's constant messages
Asking if I've told all my employers what they need to know
Asking if I've given them enough notice
Thinking I'm 21 weeks and not understanding why I am 23 weeks!!

I am 26 years old and today I feel like I'm 6 years old!!

Asking unnecessary things that doesn't involve her. All the work things are down to me and I've taken care if I've given enough notice and given them my MatB1 form last week when I wouldn't of usually got it till my 25 week appointment!!

I had to tell her she has to stop she's stressing me out!!
Does this seem unfair of me as now she's like I'm only looking out for you! A lot has changed since she had me and my sister so I don't think she fully understands
Arrrgggghhhhhhh

Hi ladies,

@Since2016 I also am not sure on middle
name for our daughter. First name is pretty much decided, our daughter mentioned this name and it's really grown on us both and goes well with the others (Ava) . However DH wants Louise as a middle name. I don't really think it goes well with our other children's names not to mention there are already two Louise's married into the family with the same surname one of which is a horrible woman and my best friend growing up was Louise so seems a bit too close to home. It was DH great grandmothers middle name, our middle sons middle name is her husbands name so kind of makes sense but I just don't feel 100% with it? I don't know wether to argue it or just let it go as a middle name but then live with not being 100% happy with it. Tbh I feel like I would rather have her first name so Ava Marjory than the middle name at this point! It's so hard!

Is anyone boycotting tinned tuna? Random question I know! The NHS website says no more than 4 tins so it should be ok to eat that amount right? It's one of the only things that I actually want to eat!!